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Police probe cop blogger over furtive glans

Published: 09 Mar 2010 17:06 GMT+01:00
Updated: 09 Mar 2010 17:06 GMT+01:00

Police in southern Sweden are investigating claims by an anonymous officer that he and a colleague secretly dabbed the tips of their sex organs against parts of a car driven by female co-workers, local newspaper Kvällsposten reports.

Writing a blog under the pseudonym Farbror Blå (Uncle Blue), the self-professed officer revealed that he and his cop buddy "bell-ended* the door handles, window buttons, gear stick, steering wheel, stereo buttons and the police radio buttons, as well as the receiver used to talk to the operations room".

The practice of bell-ending, or ollning, involves a man touching an object with his glans and has established itself as a recurring form of practical joke in Sweden. The term comes from ollon, the Swedish word for glans.

"When the girls had driven around for an hour or so in the bell-ended police car we had a chat with them and revealed our bell-ending exploits."

"Now we know what a facial expression of bleak anxiety looks like," he wrote, ending his post with a smiley face.

'Uncle Blue' also wrote in lurid detail about a call-out to a student residence where a mentally unstable young woman allegedly made sexual advances towards both him and his partner.

"We decided we couldn't force her into institutional care. Being horny isn't dangerous, after all," he wrote.

Further blog posts included details of how he shook hands with a man who had just hanged himself, provoking guffaws from his colleagues. He also claimed it felt "damn good" to punch somebody in the mouth.

Having read the blog, Mårten Unbeck, chief legal official with the police in Skåne county, quickly decided to hand the matter over to a prosecutor at the police's internal investigations unit.

"It appears probable that this is a policeman employed by the police authorities in Skåne and in my view there is reason to believe that a crime has been committed," he said.

A number of details indicated that the blog could only have been written by a police officer, Unbeck said, adding that one of the posts appeared to describe sexual abuse perpetrated while in service. If identified as a police officer, the blogger risks losing his job.

"It's absolutely clear that this creates a lot of bad-will towards the police if there's any truth in it," Mårten Unbeck told news agency TT.

*Translation note: Bell-ending, a neologism derived from a slang term for the glans, is not a word in common English-language usage.

TT/The Local (news@thelocal.se)

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Your comments about this article

19:04 March 9, 2010 by sleepinacoffin
haha.....this news just lightened my day
00:28 March 10, 2010 by Blackman_for_Blondes
This is another example of homosexual Nazi behaviour (leather pants) which the Germans got up to and the Swedish men copied...its another good reason for Swedish women to choose men from aboard who don't do these things, its shows no respect for beauty's that are the Swedish women
02:31 March 10, 2010 by xenyasai
I have Swedish heritage and I have lived in Sweden, but I have never heard about ollning. It does not surprise me though, as Swedes are obsessed with sex (should not be confused with being open about sex).
08:31 March 10, 2010 by jack sprat
Well I suppose it must be true that the local cops are just a bunch of tossers who cock everything up.

Would have thought they;d at least solve a few crimes when they're already standing there with the solution already in their hands.

Not for these men of action sitting in the canteen eating jam tarts all day.

They simply testing out the detection abilities of their female collegues,..not with finger-prints or footprints but with cockprints.

Now then you guys this is an identity parade,get stood in a line and lob them out ready for inspection and identification.
01:05 March 13, 2010 by BLADESKATER00
Those engaged in such activities are very immature--its something I would expect from a child or an adolescent [teenage] man. The tip of their sex organ--its called the Glans Penis. These fools are pathetic examples of human beings--unfortunately pathetic examples of human beings are all too frequently found in European culture...
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