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Ten sure-fire ways to bug your Swedish friends

The Local · 27 Feb 2013, 15:31

Published: 27 Feb 2013 15:31 GMT+01:00

There are endless tips and techniques for how to blend in with the Swedish culture and the Swedes themselves.

Learn the language, eat the meatballs, read the Stieg Larsson trilogy, pretend to care when the Swedish Academy announces the Nobel literature prize winner, feign indignation at Princess Madeleine preferring Manhattan to Gamla Stan.

While this integration can be tricky at times, (especially as the contents of meatballs is becoming more and more mysterious), we found that distancing yourselves from the Swedes is, well, rather easy.

IN PICTURES: Top ten ways to bug your Swedish friends

We've taken a look at a few of the things that Swedes hold most dear, and looked into how you can use it to your advantage (or disadvantage) by using it against whichever Swede it is you're planning to bug.

But why would you want to bug a Swede, anyway? Good question. But if you've read this far, it's a safe bet you're looking for some answers.

So, use this list as warning for how to avoid potentially crossing your friends in the north, or take notes on exactly how to irritate Sven from accounting.

Without further ado, here are top ten ways to bug your Swedish friends.

Story continues below…

Patrick Reilly

Follow Patrick on Twitter here

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The Local (news@thelocal.se)

Your comments about this article

17:03 February 27, 2013 by Rishonim
# 11, pretend you are down and under and ask to borrow 500KR.
17:43 February 27, 2013 by salalah
# 12 : Have nicer clothes than the "natives" at work and tell them about your exotic vacation
18:27 February 27, 2013 by abir
I was invited to watch Melodifestivalen with a family once. I got a text ahead that told me not to say what I think of Melodifestivalen because it will hurt the feelings of certain people present... True story.
19:26 February 27, 2013 by Rishonim
# 14, when out with them, instead of going Dutch, you pay for the whole check
20:27 February 27, 2013 by HelmiVainikka
"You are of course free to practice whatever faith you want but just don't go on about it"

Oh the irony...
22:23 February 27, 2013 by kalbininkas
# 15. Being foreign. "Swedish friends"? What is that?
00:55 February 28, 2013 by Phillynilly
Support Norway in the hockey....
10:19 February 28, 2013 by Chuck_Norris
# 16 Start a conversation.
11:56 February 28, 2013 by Rishonim
# 17 Tell em you occasionally smoke pot
12:24 February 28, 2013 by ulster1690
# 18 Ask questions on Sweden's role during WW2.
12:42 February 28, 2013 by Rishonim
# 19 Ask why they use so much heavy cream in every meal ;-)
23:44 March 1, 2013 by theobserver
Once I invited a Swede at home, cooked him dinner, offered him wine, entertained him, made him feel welcome.

He never spoke to me again.

Another Swede told me that the reason is I was too hospitable and made him feel uncomfortable.

Even when you have the best intentions, Swedes are annoyed.

You know what? **** you weirdos! Get a life and see how *every* other civilised nation lives.
01:51 March 4, 2013 by Eric1
#20 Do you take your warm beer (horse pee) with your horse meatballs. Love you!
15:31 March 4, 2013 by rohermoker
If you want to offend an Americian/Swede, look then directly and ask "So how much did you really pay for that Volvo?"
19:14 March 13, 2013 by bcn86
that's all you got? tell them sweden's hockey is borring and how can they consider this offence to my eyes hockey, when they don't even fight. then go up on a table and make all this machist coments about women that you can and when you are done say: ...and no one has the balls to say anything, because swedes have no balls!
13:17 March 14, 2013 by exp
Why would you want to offend the Swedes? They´re nice people. @bcn86: Maybe you moved to the wrong continent (or century?) if you think sexist slurs about women are funny...
12:35 March 22, 2013 by janeway
10. People will shake their heads and tell you to have a cup of coffee.

9. Someone will politely remind you that you're not in Switzerland.

8. You will be told you're a neanderthal.

7. Most people will invite you in, ask if you want some coffee and then get to know you.

6. Not everyone watches this show!

5. If you jump the queue in a rude fashion, you will have the choice of returning to the end of the line or have an instant face remodelling. That is, if I'm present.

4. Not everyone watches this show!

3. Tea is not as uncommon as ut was 20 years ago. Lot's of people drink tea and have plenty of fresh and different teas at home.

2. Not everyone watches this show!

1. See number 5.
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