Serial masturbator seized by Willy's in central Sweden

Amidst all the negative threads this week a 'big hand' goes to the author of this article on The Local (David Landes)

http://www.thelocal.se/20760/20090717/

A cracking read to end on a Friday afternon..

Oh how the locals editor must have loved writing the heading for this story :D

The poor Swedes reading their Swedish news I guess will miss the humour of the situation.

I hope the police are nice to Kind Man whilst he is in their custody.

Was that a Willy Whopper or a Whopper Willy?

Bloody Show Off,...Seems he needed two hands not one!

Must have been a real "Crowd Puller" seeing how they were happy to let him go and cum again,...(I mean return of course).

LOL ...its a great place for him, *KM*.

Good story.

I hope Willy's now use this in an ad campaign? I can see it now alongside a picture of the bloke doing the deed.

" Everyone gets really excited about the low prices at Willy's"

No one will do like this. He must be mentally sick. So let us just pray for him.

Haha...Willys. Now the name is extra funny. I just sent Mr. Kitten the link to this story.

His response: "What a whack job."

Can just imagine the crowds of old women waiting outside Willys next week in the hope of seeing Percy the Puller cum again!

Could even put other supermarkets out of business, unless they organise a counter attraction.

I reckon topless check-out girls would go down very nicely with the guys.

So come-on ICA and Maxi,get your tits out for the lads...

^

Especially Maxi i presume

Willy's - Hard to Beat!

This reminded me of when we first came to Sweden my husband said that 'Willy's' were springing up all over the place. Many a true word!!!!!

[quote name='Eric Cantona' date='17.Jul.2009, 05:36 PM' post='441121']Willy's - Hard to Beat!

[/quote

Ladies,if you cant beat em join em.

Willys for Solid, Long-Lasting, Upstanding Service!

The drawing power of Madame Hand and her five delectable daughters should never be underestimated...

Hahaha... Great post. Very funny. Thanks.

rachat credit

The incongruous Swedish law will probably handown this guy an 8 years prison sentence for chocking the chicking whilst a rapist will get 4.

Sounds like your modern day Busker,probably without the hat!

*small change,perhaps?*

I know Sweden is supposed to be a boring place, but aren't there bigger stories for The Local to report on than this.

Nice weather for it too

Isn't this the same town where the guy on the bike was sexually assulted by a gang of girls?... another sex crime involving a bike. What are they putting in the water there :-)

How did they handcuff him ?

"Top Notch Reporting Shocker By The Local"

TL your late...

http://www.thelocal.se/discuss/index.php?s...c=23636&hl=

Perhaps not the most shocking or exiting story in the world. But I sooner read about this then to read about homicide, drugs, knifing, raping etc. in all the other "exiting" countries.

Live as a Swede in the UK where the biggest story currently is the swine flu and the war in Afghanistan.

Funny how foreigners slag of the Swedes or this newspaper, why do they even read it I wonder. Must be some kind of fascination.

Wonder why the local started a seperate Willy thread instead of just merging the two existing Willies to make one Big Willy?

Maybe in their infinite wisdom they they decided to enjoy the undoubted luxury of playing with two Willies at the same time,....or do they take turns maybe?

Nothing can be ruled out at the "SUPA Soaraway Local"

LMAO

Didn`t he find a better place, maybe Willy`s is getting hotter those days, I have to check tomorrow LOL

While I sincerely believe that two Willys are better than one, thanks for the reminder. I'll merge the two small ones into one nice big one.

Confusion is the mistress of innovation - I want to personally congratulate you here and now!

He was just advertising for Willys.

im waiting for the day when the owners rename the store 'fannys' ;)

Better still make Fannys a sister store next door to Willys.

Should keep everyone happy....

Respect ' freedom of actions' just like 'freedom of expression'.

Ladies and gentlemen. After reading the sensationalist tabloid reporting of my recent arrest I feel the time has cum to set the record straight. Please understand the embarrasment caused to me and my family and at least try to give me the benifit of the doubt as to the innocent series of events...

Upon returning from my beach holiday in Spain earlier this week, I stopped in Örebro to visit friends for a few days. On thursday night I borrowed my frends bicycle in order to visit the local supermarket to buy groceries.

On my way out of the store I noticed that some grease had rubbed off the bicycle and on to the crotch of my new trousers. In an effort to avoid any staining of my recently purchased clothing, I took out my hankerchief and proceded to rub the grease off. I then got back on my bike and returned to my friend.

On Friday, I returned to Willys mainly with the intention of buying fruit but when I was there, I saw some rather appetising yoghurt in the dairy section of the shop.

"Hmmm" I thought, "I'll get some of them," and placed a pot on my wheely basket.

After paying for my goods I left the store and returned to my cycle. Whilst I struggled to loosen the lock, I stepped backwards and on to my shopping bag hearing a squelchly crunch. Upon investigation and much to my constantation, I saw that I had trodden on my yoghurt.

Thinking "waste not, want not" I decided to eat what was left and began to lick the broken yoghurt pot clean. Unfortuneately whilst doing so, a tablespoon sized blob of yoghurt fell off the pot and down the front of my shorts which were unusually loose due to the fact that I lost alot of weight due to a rather nasty bought of gastro enteritous picked up whilst feltching a spanish waiter.

The cold lump of yoghurt thus fell down the front of my shorts and right on to my penis (I happened not to be wearing underpants as my recent stomach trouble had rendered all my holiday pairs a biohazard).

A few weeks ago, my doctor told me that my low sperm count may have something to do with my testicles being unable to properly adapt to changing temperatures. As I one day hope to have a girl friend with whom to procreate, I have thus become rather conserned with ensuring that my genitals remain at a constant temperature; neither too hot nor too cold.

Anyway the yoghurt was of course chilled and as it splattered all over my man bits I must admit that I paniced somewhat! I dropped my shorts and tried desparately to remove the cold dairy product in order to avoid damage to my love tadpoles.

This day I had neglected to bring my hankerchief and so was forced to remove the offending substance by clenching the area with my hand however this only worked to an extent as the yoghurt became somewhat smeared all over the shaft of my penis but with the "overflow" accumulating around the crown. In addition, all the vigourous physical activity had caused my heart to race and blood flow to increase and as a result, my usually flacid member stiffened and grew to its fully errect 5 centimetres.

It was at this moment with yoghurt spread all over my lips and penis that the Police jumped out on me! Amazingly, they thought I had been masturbating. I mean what sort of country is it that when you remove cold yoghurt from your nether regions you get accused of inapporopriate behaviour... I mean, these Swedes must be sex obsessed!

Anyway, I thing it was a language problem but the police didnt accept my quite reasonable explaination as to my predicamet and are currently "investigating" the incident. Myself, well I have become an item of ridicule... Now when my neighbours shout "English idiot" at me, they genuinely mean to rub it in (if you pardon the pun). This incident has wrecked my life... I now want to move to a country where people dont even want to know me...

Just hope you have a very convincing lawyer and a very accomodating judge if you expect him to swallow that load of c0ck.... .

LOL.. that is kinda disgusting but funny!

I misread that for a second.

I misread it as serial masturbator seized by the willy.

According to the sign on the store entrance seen behind the chap in question as he performed, the store is coming to the end of its summer sale. It read "slut spurt".

oh...willy, willy, willy...

Reminds me of that old Doris Day song,...Willy can,Willy can,Willy can, Oh Willy.

Better headline. Caught entertaining his Willy outside Willy's

Silly Willy!

very funny but willy's should be happy as they finally retained a customer.

So is there a woman doing the same outside a Kwik-Fit?

Perhaps there is a guy outside the Kuki clothes shop in Bond Street station?