Published: 6 Feb 12 15:58 CET | Print version
Online: http://www.thelocal.se/38954/20120206/
A 15-year-old girl from southern Sweden took her own life after several years of bullying during which her school's idea of combatting the problem had been to make her go tell the other students that their taunts upset her.
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Interesting longer article in this week's new yorker about alleged bullying and intimidation that led to the suicide of a gay student in New Jersey after his sexualtiy was exposed to other students 2 years ago:
http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/02/06/120206fa_fact_parker
wonderful world, isn't it?
So the crimes comtited in the name of religion thousands of years is nothing, but lets associate a tragic accident with Atheism . I am an imigrant and I'm saying to you: Get the f..k out of Sweden, you barbaric religious ignorant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tragic, deepest sympathy to those she left behind
As a teacher with eight years of experience in Swedish schools, this does not surprise me.
The mentor deserves a lot of blame here for his bungling of the situation. In his defense, though, I have never met a mentor in a Swedish school that had ever had any training whatsoever. Teacher college does not teach you how to mentor kids; that takes a special skillset. Of course, to save money, schools simply pass the responsibility of mentoring on to the teachers, along with so many other administrative duties. For this reason, the specific school is responsible for the mentor's failure as is the entire Swedish concept of mentoring, which by right should be a separate function carried out by trained specialists.
Education is a right, not an obligation. That means that anyone who wants to get an education should have 100% access. But that does not mean that those who are not interested in getting an education should be forced to go to school. This is my beef with compulsory education. So many teachers, myself included, spend 80% of our energy dealing with behavioral issues among students who really have no business being in a classroom. It hurts the teacher's effectiveness and retards the development of the best and brightest of our young people who are left with teachers operating at 20% of their capacity.
Teachers do not get into the profession to care for the bullied or to correct they bullies; they get into it to teach subject content. But parents expect teachers to take over the parental responsibilities and raise good kids. Believe me, it is easier for a pair of parents to raise two or three kids than it is for one teacher to try to raise 50 kids, especially when the teacher's hands are tied in most situations. This is why schools need disciplinary functions that are strong and separate from the teaching function. But like all else, school leaders are scared to take that responsibility so they, too, place all responsibility on the teachers.
Why was this poor girl put before a psychologist instead of the batshit crazy bully boys? Put them in the mental care institutions and see what happens.
Although children have always bullied each other - the internet has made it easier than ever before for children to spread messages of hate about each other. Facebook & Twitter are both shining examples. I know children as young as 8 who are now addicted to Facebook, and they attach so much importance to their popularity on there. Their profile and photos are everything to them. One nasty evil comment can spread across a whole network of school friends with the single press of a button. And it can have shattering effects.
Yes, nowadays we have iphones, sat-navs, ipads and wide screen tv. But the truth is, our kids are no happier. Thank goodness I had my childhood in the 1970s. What a wonderful time that was :)
But some people on this site don`t think ahead, they just make quick calls. According to you all it`s Swedens fault. It`s the swedish laws, the swedish schools or the swedish teachers.
Give me a break will ya. The hate towards Sweden and Swedes on this site is sickening.
The schoolsystem needs to grow a pair and actually DO something about the continued bullying. It's growing worse every year.
It's NOT that hard to actually DO something about the issue, rather then try to pass it off on the victim, or making excuses for their behaviour (Yes, I've personally seen it, by teachers and other staff.)
Someone repeatedly bullying others? Expell them! Toss them out.
*Call the police if need be*
In many cases what's going on is quite literally ILLEGAL, and falls under harrassment of various forms.
Schools need to take some responsibility again and decide that such behaviour is simply not ok!
Someone caught with weapons? Police charges + expelled for a year
Bullying? Police charges + expelled for a year
Otherwise harrassing fellow students or staff? Police charges + expelled for a year
Will people complain? Yes, but you know what? Sometimes someone has to make that decision even when others don't like it.
Schoolsystem, if you keep doing what you've been doing, more innocent victims will die.
Well said. Sometimes people will complain but the law must be laid down sometimes and even if it's unpopular, if that's truly the right thing to do it should be in place. This person would still be alive if they were expelled immediately.
A teachers responsibility doesn't end at just teaching a syllabus. Social skills and the child's daily welfare come under the jurisdiction of the school. Whats lacking is a strong school policy backed by both teachers, head teachers and parents to combat not only bullying but hitting and being disruptive to the other children.
As a parent of 3 well behaved children I'm fed up with the lack of due care shown by the school. Being hit by other children is part of daily life at their current school.
The teachers again have exactly the same attitude as you, they came into the profession to teach not deal with disorder problems, leaving the children in effect to fend for themselves as best they can.
You conveniently ignored half of my point, that being that the school needs to have a dedicated function for handling disciplinary issues in the school. It requires specially trained staff members who understand child psychology. Teachers do not get that except on the most superficial levels of classroom management. Bullying issues as described in this article go WAY beyond the abilities and responsibilities of a classroom teacher. Come on, the teacher cannot police Facebook, Twitter, the hallways, the playground, the busstop, the T-bana and the Galleria. Not for one student, not for 30 students.
Unfortunately, the bad example frequently begins at home. When parents bully or allow siblings to treat each other badly, they are providing training into how to BE A BULLY or how to be a victim. Then it is tossed back into the teacher's lap to try to fix... and guess what, after the 6 hours the child spends at school, he or she is back in the hands of the parents.
Let's also not forget that this behavior is taught and learned from well before the child begins grade school. The same parents are then quick to run down to the school and complain or file police charges that their child is being abused while in the school's care.
Keep in mind that here in Sweden it is generally improper to single a child out for misbehaving. It is nearly impossible to mandate any form of punishment including such things as school cleanup, detention, banning from events...
Children cannot even be held responsible for their own actions if under 15... I have had grade school children tell me that they don't have to wear a bike helmet because the law cannot hold them responsible due to their age... and the parents let them leave for school without helmets! What kind of message does that send or lesson does it teach? By the way, frequently these are the same kids that bully others.
How about acts of brutality or bullying towards teachers? In Sweden, a young child can hit or stab a teacher with minimal repercussions if any. If the teacher raises his or her hand in self defense, it is a criminal act.
I am certainly not advocating corporeal punishment, but teachers must be allowed some tools as well as parental support to deal with the issue. Schools from the earliest grades should provide trained guidance counselors to help these kids... that way teachers can do their basic job, which is teach...
...or do you prefer your child's teacher to spend 80% of his time dealing with 5% of the children because of the disruption they cause and the disrespect they show to teachers and fellow students?
The blame game is always an interesting one. I and my wife have brought up our children to have respect for others.
I agree that teachers can't make up the short fall from bad parenting. I would like to send my children to school feeling confident they are safe, and be able to ask them, "have you been hit today?" without hearing the answer "yes".
I think thats a reasonable request. I'm sure your both tell me otherwise.
Too bloody soft with kids nowadays.
''Give me a break will ya. The hate towards Sweden and Swedes on this site is sickening.''
Well, it is not compulsory to read this site after all... .
IMO it is not up to the current standards not to have trained mentors at schools, that's all. Swedes are known for their ability to swipe anything under the carpet in order to perserve the state of indifference and this has failed in this case. This girl needed help and did not receive any.
and
@ StockholmSam post 21
Agree that there are insufficient disciplinary tools. And 100% agree that the teacher cannot police the entire universe of one child, let alone 30, but as for special resources to handle discipline, a low cost alternative at least for modest discipline issues could simply be solitary confinement for the afternoon. Eons ago when I went to elementary school, getting sent to the principal's or vice principal's office meant sitting in a room for more than an hour with no audience for one's rebelious antics, and the act of getting expelled from the classroom was a much needed embarassment to the student to begin with. Maybe a Swedish school would not have enough vacant offices for this, or perhaps this would be considered a gross violation of human rights here.
@ All parents of teenage children who are concerned about bullying
Any interesting point in the article that I referred to earlier is that teenagers themselves tend to dismiss bullying up to a point. They do this because there are no perceived social advantages among their peers to be perceived as either a bully, or someone who is bullied, and so they often dismiss incidents of mistreatment as mere episodes of 'drama', even if these are repetitive and start to lead to psychological damage of a student who is always the victim of these dramas. The point is that by the time a student recognizes their mistreatment as bullying and tells you about, it probably already reached a very bad level, and must be taken seriously and acted upon at once.
I teach hemspråk at a local school and it's horrible.
You aren't allowed to discipline the children at all. You can't tell disruptive students to leave class, you can't issue detentions or extra homework and you can't even break up fights or physically stop one child from hitting another.
If someone starts swearing, acting up, talking on their phone, hitting another child, won't sit down etc. you're screwed. You have to stop everything you're doing and focus the majority of your attention on one or two troublemakers until they decided to settle down. This can take 10 minutes or more since you're not allowed to do anything but try to get their attention and reason with them.
It's an everyday, multiple times throughout the day, occurrence. It happens in all the classrooms as well as in the hallways / playgrounds. Talking with the parents doesn't often help either. More often than not, they don't care, are too busy with other things, think that their child couldn't possibly be doing anything wrong or feel as helpless as we do.
Laws need to change and more parents need to become active and involved in the lives of their children, before all the blame is placed on the teachers. We have a responsibility too, but proper behavior and upbringing needs to start at home.