I have fucked up sleeping patterns. Simply put I am more akin to a nocturnal bat, I work best at night. This is all well and good, apart from the fact that most productive things happen in the day time. My grandma once said the only things open at night are legs and minds. So read into this as you will, my lack of female anatomy would generate little response in the opening of my legs; therefore I keep an open mind. One of my guilty pleasures is I love reading Wikipedia entries and following corresponding links to new subjects. Weird, I know. It was upon one of my late night literate pursuits that I was reading an article in which the “scientist”, I use the word loosely as will soon become clear, who objected to the principle of monogamy.
Ah very well, I’m not a new age hippy about to praise the ethics of free love, all I’m saying was the man offered some logic, twisted as it was. He claimed that women would rather have a tenth share in a first class man than a full stake in a third rate chump. Now here in Sweden there’s a lot of women, at university perhaps the split is 60/40 if not more. This may seem like unrelated data until I harked back to a conversation with one of my friends who should remain unnamed. This salt of the earth character explained that despite his off the market status being widely renowned he was still inundated with offers. Perhaps this is a fortunate fellow; however I, without putting myself in the proverbial line of fire could appreciate his conundrum. Nothing reaffirms self worth than appreciation from other parties. The rose tinted scenario in which women in particular place value on a gentleman already pre approved is not something that started today. Polygamy worked because it meant that women knew they were getting the best man possible, even if it meant sharing him. Today that’s been killed off, because it is no longer a socially excepted norm. Why? Because we can’t let all the amazing fellas walk away with their top choices leaving us with bottom fodder.
Coming back to Stockholm, you may walk around the city and spot some amazing blonde creatures with less than amazing suitors and spouses. On my first week in Stockholm I was out with some friends when we bizarrely found ourselves in the VIP area of Sturecompagniet (imagine Chinawhite in London), how we got there involved a chance meeting in the restroom involving a mafia like middle aged French gent and some heavy drinking. In the VIP we awkwardly rubbed shoulders, or should I say were barged into, by some of Stockholm’s rich and famous. One thing that stood out was that the calibre of gent in the VIP was playing well below that of the ladies in the looks department. Nothing new there or shocking however I recall that scene and our measly attempts to feel comfortable, and wonder if it were not for money the human gene pool would be extremely different for some.
I say well done you weedy bespeckled, balding, former Vikings, you have guaranteed the continuance of your gene against all odds. I salute you. Now shh let me get my tenth share.
Things Kings Doesn’t Like this Week
Queuing- I know I’m English we deal with it, but damn these take a ticket and wait systems in Sweden, just plain annoying.
Sleep – Pointless really, just gets in the way of your day.
Sodermalm – Overrated part of Stockholm resembling Camden, screams love me because I’m socially alternative. Fuck off.
10 O’clock Lappis Scream- Okay it was funny the first couple of times, now you’re just being weird people. Every Tuesday, c’mon every fucking Tuesday.
Getting barged into- Seriously are there any manners out here in Stockholm, a simple “excuse me” will suffice for me to move. However they act surprised when I barge them back. IDIOTS
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