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Foreign? No complaints.

Wednesday, October 13th, 2010

The strangest thing happened to me today at Linköping library, where apparently the staff have the right to take the piss out of members of the public.

I’ve been working hard plugging next week’s show at Café M with cult British comedian Paul Foot (link here, plug over) and found myself at the main library. I was a bit disappointed to see that the poster I’d left with them last month wasn’t on the wall, so naturally, I asked what had happened to it. Being polite but forthright, I complained to a woman at the info desk who was helpful, if a little defensive. Suddenly from out of the blue another member of staff at another desk started to aggressively wade in. Until this point, the whole conversation had been very civilly conducted in Swedish; he finished off his little diatribe by saying something sarcastic in English.

I switched to English and asked him if he would prefer to speak in English. He replied to me in Swedish by putting on a mock English accent (“för att du prata så här”). I told him that I have no problem speaking in either Swedish or English, but would like to know why he was being so rude to me. I pointed out that I had been talking to his colleague, not him, and asked him again why he was being so rude. I was a bit taken aback by the whole ‘funny foreigner’ accent he had done.

Eventually, I spoke to his boss and I asked if he did that to all foreigners or just to English people. She assured me that he wasn’t xenophobic as he does that to ‘everyone’, although I hadn’t heard him mimicking any Swedes at the library while I was there. Presumably, if you dare to complain, you will be treated to his funny voices regardless of whether you are Chinese, speak with a stutter or come from Skåne. What a relief! What a success story for Linköping’s public relations!

Am I being petty? Or is doing the funny voice of complainants really the way that staff working at a public library should be dealing with the public?

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Tags: Animals, Comedy, Lagom, LinkÃ¶ping, moans, plugs, Stand Up, Sweden
Posted in Comedy, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up | 29 comments »

Similar to a pub….

Saturday, August 28th, 2010

Yesterday was the autumn premiere at LKPG HA HA! And it was nice to get the ball rolling again. The audience seemed excited and up for it and the comedians delivered, including a charismatic set from west Sweden’s funniest man and voice of Gothenburg’s trams (it’s true!) Martin Krantz

I was happy with my performance – I tested a new routine about a simian blood donor, which to all intents and purposes worked well, bar the complete lack of punchline. I think I’ve worked it out now…..

Had some nice audience banter involving a girl in the front row whose name was pronounced ’similar’ (no idea how you spelt it)…I asked if her friend’s name was ‘The Same’.. thus tricking them into the Grelling-Nelson paradox! (i.e. if her name was ‘the same’, it would be ’similar’ and therefore not ‘the same’. If it was ’similar’ it would be ‘the same’ and not ’similar’)… Does it get any more high brow than that? Luckily, the blood donor routine was childishly rude.

After the show we went to an English style pub called Pitcher’s … They had leather books on the wall, you know, just like a real English pub? As I was driving, I asked for a half of Guinness (don’t judge me for drinking halves). When the barmaid pulled out a pint glass, I thought she must have misheard me, so I told her again that I just wanted a half. She looked at me like I was some kind of idiot (an idiot who knows the Grelling-Nelson paradox, no less) and told me that she was only going to fill it half way. Note to Swedish publicans… it takes more than a few leather books to make a pub authentically English.

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Tags: Comedy, Gigs, Lagom, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up, Sweden
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Magnus Betnér – A matter of policy

Tuesday, June 8th, 2010

This coming Saturday, I’m putting on Sweden’s most controversial comedian, Magnus Betnér, in English, at the Sagateatern in Linköping. This is quite a coup as this is the only full length English gig he is doing in Sweden before he plays at the Edinburgh Festival in August.

In Sweden and in Swedish he fills 1000 seater theatres with audiences who see him as a sort of anti-establishment rock star figure. When he plays the Fringe in Edinburgh he may well walk out to hostile audiences or worse an empty theatre. I have nothing but respect for the man, which is why it’s such a thrill to be putting him on in Linköping.

I had a handful of flyers left for the gig and last night I was out and about in town. I went past a couple of the pubs which are seen as Linköping’s counter culture drinking holes and started handing out flyers. At both places I was asked to stop flyering. ‘Too much rubbish’ and ‘We have an no flyers policy’. This is rock and roll, Linköping style. I mean, how can pubs say that they have a no flyering policy? At what point do pubs have policies? Do they sit down once a month round a long table going through an agenda of ‘policies’ to discuss? “All those in favour of flyering raise your right hand and say ‘AYE!’”

So I wasn’t allowed to flyer. Maybe I’m just grouching, but it seems like another drop in Linköping’s ocean of conformity and mediocrity.. drip, drip, drip.

The flyer is above and if you are in Östergötland this Saturday, it’s worth the effort to come and see Betnér live. He’s bigger than Sweden deserves – it’s just a matter of time before the rest of Europe finds out about him.

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Tags: Betnér, Comedy, Gigs, Lagom, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up
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Angry like Otto Jr

Tuesday, May 4th, 2010

This last week I’ve been grumbling around Linköping like a bear with a sore head. Or more accurately a man with a sore throat, the pain of which has been augmented somewhat by the fact that somewhere along the line the doctor failed to pass my biopsy sample (large piece of throat flesh) to pathology, leaving me back at square one.

Like Norwegian Hip Hop hero, Otto Jr, I’ve got attitude. It’s a bit like being in London again where confrontation is cathartic, but unfortunately with the throat my powers of aggression are somewhat diminished. I was halfway through giving a bus driver a piece of my mind after he had cut me up on my bike, when I started coughing uncontrollably. It kind of took the edge off my rant.

Anyway, in the name of ‘entertainment’ I promised to pass on this World Cup video/song that comedian Anneli Heed sings on. It’s a satirical piece drawing on the infidelities of members of the England squad. Just in case you watch it and think ‘How did they get John Terry and Ashley Cole to agree to this?’ I have to warn you they have used lookielikies. The Svennis is very good (scandal circa 2002) and the Amy Winehouse is very good… although as far as I know, she has not been linked to any footballers…

Anneli sings beautifully, but I think the small rapping bloke with the short arms could learn a thing or two from Otto Jr.

Here it is: Ca$hbeatz ft. Anneli Heed

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Tags: Comedy, Lagom, LinkÃ¶ping, otto jr, Stand Up, throat
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My Little Pony

Wednesday, April 28th, 2010

I feel old. And not only because my body aches from being prodded about by the men and women in white coats of Linköping hospital.

Yesterday, I was down at the university putting up some posters for the show that I’m putting on in the middle of May. There was a group of students doing a very good job of promoting their club night called ‘UK Flashback: The 90’s’.

They had, apparently, dressed up to look like people from that far off decade. A decade which I remember well as I was there: I went from being a late teen to a twenty something, so I would count myself as a reliable witness.

For me the nineties were: Madchester, Take That and The Spice Girls, Vic and Bob, Grunge, Britpop, Euro 96, The Big Breakfast, Sensation and Britart, fear over the Millenium Bug and jumping off Eastbourne Pier dressed as an old lady. (The last one was just me).

However, these so called educated students decided to depict the 90’s by wearing shell suits, roller skates and using a My Little Pony motif. Hello? That’s the eighties!… All I can deduce from this is that Sweden is a decade behind the UK in terms of popular culture.

Either way, it made me feel ancient as I also remembered the eighties…

To top it off I bumped into a bunch of high school students I know vaguely.. The only conversation I could think of making with them was to ask how school was going and if they had exams soon. I finished off by saying ‘Say hi to your mum’… They clearly thought I was some kind of a dinosaur.

They had a glazed sugar high look about them and all they could think to say to me, through their ice cream smeared chops was, ‘Ben and Jerry’s are giving away free samples’. I don’t even like ice cream, let alone standing in a queue with a bunch of spotty teenagers, overexcited by the prospect of a free sugar rush.

Next time I see them, I’m going to try and sell them some drugs or a knife or a Basshunter CD or something… then the yoof will respect me.

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Tags: Comedy, Lagom, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up, Sweden
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A shaky week

Tuesday, April 13th, 2010

Last week was spent in the throes of an unknown illness. I rarely get ill, so it is typical that the worst flu type affliction I have ever had should hit me on a week when I was up to my neck in it. I’m not sure what it was, but my body started shaking uncontrollably with cold followed by feverish sweats. On Tuesday, I managed to go to bed at three in the afternoon and I slept until eleven the next morning, albeit fitfully. Perhaps it was the dreaded Swine Flu, but then again, that was soooo 2009, I’d like to think I had something more voguish.

Needless to say, all my last minute marketing for Offroad Comedy at Sagateatern was a little bit curtailed, although I did manage to go out and do some final week flyering. I also had a club night on Thursday where I felt very slightly irresponsible for sharing the germ infected microphone with the other comics… perhaps I should have swabbed it down with an ethanol wipe as I left the stage. I haven’t heard anything from the comedians (who were all fantastic), but looking on the bright side, if I have brought an untimely end to the careers of Sven Brundin, Sara Andersson, Behrad Rouzbeh and Peter Merecki through my reckless spreading of influenza, I can only see this as cutting down the competition.

Saturday night at Saga was very much a victory snatched from the jaws of disaster. For whatever reason, I failed to get the people of Linköping buzzed up about the show, and a week before it looked like under ten people had bought tickets. Luckily, the final count on the night was around 50 sold which meant there was enough to give a good atmosphere. The show was a good’un (even if Corren’s reviewer didn’t agree) and it was a good chance to see two of Sweden’s established female stand ups (Ann Westin and Yvonne Skattberg) as well as the up and coming Cecilia Von Strokirch.

Entered this week with a sore throat and a general feeling of fatigue, which is just the wrong state to be in for the job I had this morning. Namely, holding a drama workshop about ‘As You Like It’ for a group of spotty 14 year olds. They were nice kids, but by lunchtime I was a bit tired of the whole baseball cap at a cocky angle, trousers round the arse, slouching gait, ‘why me?’ attitude.

Perhaps I’m just getting old….

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Tags: Comedy, Gigs, Lagom, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up
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I am not the answer…

Saturday, March 27th, 2010

How did Hillary feel once he had climbed Everest? Bannister on breaking the four minute mile? Or Armstrong on setting foot on the moon? Did they feel a sense of accomplished satisfaction or a sense of emptiness that from here on everything they did would be an anticlimax.

I am at a similar crossroads, as today I reached what can only be seen as the height of my career: I am the wrong answer in a multiple choice magazine question. Does it get any better than that?

We had a great club night the other night. Fritte Fritzson and Ludde Samuelsson, from Malmö and the writer/satirist/stand up rough diamond Tomas Ahlbeck. Nice to see them all, and also to have them staying over and get a chance to find out about the ins and outs of their comedy lives. Nice people – and it’s impressive to hear about what they have built up in Malmö where their club nights sell out to 350 people. Check out Oslipat if you are a Malmö-ite!

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Tags: Comedy, Gigs, Lagom, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up
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An open space for kultur

Wednesday, February 17th, 2010

A ‘Samling För Scenkonst’ was where I was today. Anyone who is anyone in Östergötland’s performing arts world, plus lots of somebodies who are nobody were there. But what was it? It wasn’t a conference, it wasn’t a meeting, it wasn’t even a gathering… no I was in attendance at an ‘Open Space’ a new way for officialdom (in this case Östsam) to pay lip service to the people that they are supposed to support. Open Space, we were told at the beginning, is a revolutionary way to gather information and opinions from a large and diverse group. We were also told that it is used in conflict resolution and has been used in Israel/Palestine negotiations. I couldn’t help but observe that this wasn’t the best advert for the method, however, when it comes to the rather less volatile world of performing arts, it worked very well.

Before we could get to the meat of the Open Space we had to listen to various luminaries giving their vision of the arts scene in Östergötland. Painful is not the word. My life slipped away in 5 minute increments as each speaker lead me a twelfth of an hour closer to my grave. I used the time to look around the circle at the other delegates or open spacers as perhaps they should be called. They were mainly old, white (hair and race) and grey (hair and personality). There were a few younger people there and I don’t mean to be judgmental, but the majority of them had desert chic scarves round their necks (perhaps they had stuck around after the Israel/Palestine talks?). There was even one woman in an orange knitted poncho.

When the Open Space proper began, participants had to write down questions that they would like discussed on a piece of paper. Things like: “Why doesn’t the government raise taxes to pay for kids’ bassoon lessons?” or “Is there such a thing ‘bad’ quality?”. I was tempted to write: “Why is everything so shit?”… but thought that this may be judged as a ‘bad’ question.

We discussed issues in breakout groups. I met a few nice people and a few people that made me want to weep. I realised that I cannot be an ‘arrangör’ as I do what I do as a private enterprise rather than as a non profit hobby. … and then listened to a group of septuagenarians try to understand why their non profit theatre association was having difficulty attracting young people to the theatre. At least they are eligible for a grant to quarter fill the theatre which is more than I am….

It’s easy to be cynical, of course, but I’m quite glad that this day took place even if it has only served to confirm my opinion that when it comes to arts funding in Linköping, concrete support from the county or the kommun, is a wide open space.

….

On a less moany note. I was on the telly last week. My interview can be seen here. And the whole programme can be seen here as a series of short clips on SVT Play.

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Tags: Lagom, LinkÃ¶ping, Networking
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Happy New Year. Tick.

Saturday, January 2nd, 2010

We had a New Year’s Quiz this year. Twelve questions, one for each month of 2009. When we swapped answer sheets and started marking, we discovered a whole new cultural clash. In England, a correct answer is given a tick (på Svenska: bock), whereas in Sweden, the tick denotes a wrong answer. It may have been the Champagne, but it was as though the fundamental essence of right and wrong were being brought into question just hours before the new decade.

However, as the future is always uncertain, putting an ambiguous tick next to New Decade dreams, plans and wishes is probably appropriate. At least if the last two decades are anything to go by….

New Year’s Eve twenty years ago, aged 16 and I was at a house party in Birmingham. We were looking forward to the 90’s; it would be OUR decade where we would become popstars, filmstars, artists and poets. Although none of us ever really ‘made’ it, most of us from that group of friends are still working in the creative field. There’s no pop or film stars, but there are actors, musicians, directors and as far as I know, one happily reclusive friend is knocking out poetry in a remote French village.

Ten years later, it was the Millenium, spent with fellow Bristol Drama graduates. We were by the Thames, with thousands of others who also missed the much hyped River Of Fire. As we wobbled back to the flat we were full of ambition for what the new Millenium held in store. Today, two or three of that gang are doing very well indeed and to some extent living the dream. While my big plans to be a film director fizzled out with a five minute short on late night regional ITV, I am quite happy with the way the last decade has panned out: kids, comedy, walking to Machu Picchu, playing the Honey Monster and of course moving to Sweden.

So 2010 has begun and the new decade stands before us. While I have none of the starry eyed fantasy of the teenager or the raw ambition of the London media whore, the future looks promising. I’ve established a comedy scene in my adoptive hometown, where I host and perform in a second language. I’m also acting and writing, if not for megabucks, then at least for directors and publications that ask me back and help to pay the mortgage. And there are projects that could get big, a sitcom, radio, a new one man show……. just watch this space…. Tick.

Happy 2010….. Tick.

P.S. In the meantime, watch this very short New Year film from Swedish Comedian Anders Celin

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Tags: Comedy, Lagom, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up, Sweden
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…. And number three

Tuesday, October 13th, 2009

Sometimes, just sometimes, things work out really really well. And Sunday night’s show in Stockholm was one of those times.

The day started in Linköping, being picked up by Palle’s son, Johannes who then drove at breakneck speed up the E4 to the capital. I was not entirely sure we would make it there in one piece as on more than one occasion Johannes, while tailgating in the fast lane at 160kph, would fully turn his head to the back seat and inform me that I was confusing fast driving with dangerous driving. Palle sat in the front, with a look that (underneath the fear) said ‘Don’t think I haven’t told him all this before…’

Incredibly, we made it and met everyone at the theatre – Bisse (my sitcom co-writer, and the evening’s ticket ripper), Garry (Sound and lights) and Louis (wardrobe and warm up act). I set up my props, then began the business of warming up backstage (i.e. pacing about nervously).

Louis came on first and charmed the audience by inviting them to shower him in kisses during the ‘kisspaus’, then Palle strutted his stuff. Then it was me… Stepping onstage is like diving off a cliff… there’s no going back, but also, you don’t know what temperature the water is, how deep it will be or if your shorts will stay on (perhaps I’m taking the metaphor too far). On Sunday, I stepped out to a full front row of smiling faces, behind them, the rest of the theatre was pretty much full and they seemed up for it… and indeed they were.

Performing in a theatre (as opposed to a club) you have so much more freedom with subtle looks and nods and Sunday’s audience were with me all the way. If that was not enough then my adlibbing head was firmly on and fate dealt me an excellent hand…. Here’s just a few that I was gifted … First, the Volvo 440 book I have onset fell over …. “unreliable crap. I should replace it with a Saab”, then when I spoke to the audience, there was someone called Gunnar – and a conversation I had had long ago in Birmingham resurfaced about how being called Gunnar in the Midlands would be a nightmare….. “Will you tell me your name? I’m Gunnar (gonna). Tell me your name then! I’m Gunnar!”. Then the other person I picked out from the audience was called Franz (pronounced France)… “I’ve never performed to a whole country before” . I couldn’t have planted better named audience members.

I was so pleased with the night and it seems that the audience were too as I got an encore. No flowers or knickers thrown onstage, but it was an encore nonetheless.

Job done and a feeling of great relief… Although the tour’s over, I’ve still got three more shows this week – A corporate job tonight in Linköping, a support slot at the Skandia in Norrköping tomorrow and a spot at Laughs At The Liffey on Thursday. What a week.

……

Blogpost over, but I thought I would plug my friends’ short film here too. If you have 5 minutes watch A Shot At Love filmed as part of the Smoke and Mirrors film competition in London

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Tags: Comedy, Gigs, Lagom, Stand Up, Stockholm, Sweden
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