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Reefer Madness

Friday, February 10th, 2012

The war on drugs has come to Linköping.

Cannabis use is on the increase which means that local tutting and hand-wringing has gone into overdrive. The chief of police has taken action. Serious action. Serious action in the form of a big article in the local paper to inform us about cannabis. Östgötacorrespondenten, a newspaper, generally not read by teenagers, but pawed over by their over anxious parents and teachers, has joined the top cop at the forefront of this war on drugs.

There’s a photo of this hardened law enforcer, looking concerned as he surveys a cupboard full of drug paraphernalia. He stares into the abyss of the cupboard, ready to slam the doors shut again and lock away this hell – but it’s all there, the evils of cannabis, for us to see – I know that while many of the good burghers of Linköping will find the sight terrifying, anyone who been even close to a university halls of residence will immediately recognise the contents of a first year engineering student’s room. It’s all there: The bongs in Rasta colours, a T-shirt with a big marijauna leaf on it and of course, the ubiquitous picture of an alien with a spliff saying ‘Take me to your dealer’

Corren have helpfully give the reader a guide to the warning signs as to whether you own child is using cannabis and I am going to share these tips for the readers of The Local and particularly the readers of The Local who were not around 85 years ago, in 1936, to get swept up in the hysteria of Reefer Madness.

Here’s what to look out for if you are worried about your kids:

Has their taste in music changed?
Remember how they used to dance around the room to The Gummy Bears and Astid Lindgren? And now, since they started gymnasium, they listen to guitar or electronic music, or reggae, or hip hop, or Sean Banan?? That’s not proper music! They are clearly junkies!

Are they tired or moody? This symptom is also know as ‘being a teenager’

Do they like skateboarding?
This is the telltale signs of drug abuse. If your child enjoys a sport that gets them out of the house, keeps them fit and creates a social circle of like minded people, stop them now! As my friend James pointed out, skateboarding is a gateway sport.

What worries me most is that I have felt very tired recently, and not only that, I have started listening to totally new genres of music – I was rather moved by a baroque piece I heard on the car radio last week. Luckily, I can’t skateboard, but I did buy a woolly hat from the local skate shop.Will people start seeing me as ‘one of them’?

I haven’t been exposed to any drugs here in Linköping, but I’m worried that suspicious fingers will start to point. … so I’m tempted to start smoking hash, just to deal with the stress of all this suspicion.

Meanwhile, the other main news in the paper was that Linköping plans to build an enormous greenhouse. What will be grown there is being kept a tight secret, but it doesn’t take much to add two and two together and see that the kommun is planing to cash in on the latest teenage cash cow.

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Back in my drug free reality, The Tuesday Chinwag had it’s premiere on Tuesday in Stockholm. You can read more about me and it here in this article on The Local. Come along next time! The last one was a hoot!

You can also follow me on Twitter @BenKersley

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Tags: Comedy, Corren, Film, Gigs, LinkÃ¶ping, moans, Stand Up, Stockholm, Sweden, Twitter
Posted in Comedy, Lagom, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up | No comments »

A question of identity

Wednesday, December 28th, 2011

I’m having an identity crisis.

I’ve lived in Sweden for five and a half years now and I have a problem with my identity. It’s not that I don’t know who I am, I don’t struggle with the duality of nationalities, languages and cultures. Let me make this clear: My lack of identity is not metaphorical, it’s literal: I still don’t have a Swedish ID card.

OK, I’ve possibly just made an admission of doing something illegal (let’s keep that between you, me and The Local), but it’s never been a problem before. Without a Swedish ID card, I have started my own business, been employed, paid taxes, been in hospital, got a mortgage, been stopped by the police and voted in two elections. The point is, I’ve never needed a Swedish ID card. I’ve always just got away with reeling off my personnummer to whoever needs to know it. The worst I’ve had is a shrug of the shoulders and the words ‘utländska legitimation’ (foreign ID) written on my credit card receipt. I’ve survived without it, until, that is, the last few weeks.

Firstly, I got a cheque from Skatteverket paying back about 7000:- in tax. Lucky me, I hear you cry, how nice of them to pay back my own money that I’d paid in advance and they held on to for 12 months (but that’s another issue). I duly went to my bank to pay it in to my own account and was told that I couldn’t pay it in without a Swedish ID card and “No!”, a UK driving licence was not acceptable.

Now, I understand and appreciate the need to prevent crime, and I am grateful that it’s difficult for a stranger to access my account… but let’s just imagine for a moment that I wasn’t who I said I was; that I was a dastardly imposter who had got hold of this cheque by devious means. I’ve tried to imagine what the worst possible thing that could happen was and all I can think of is that the cheque be paid into the account of the person whose name was on it. Hardly crime of the century – and I’d have to be a pretty crap crim to go round stealing cheques and paying them into the account of the person they were intended for. Nobody has yet explained to me why there is such caution against non heists.

Then, a couple of days later, I decided to sign up to give blood. There’s a new blood bank in the centre of town and I had a couple of hours to kill before a show later that evening. I used to give blood when I lived in London, and I thought that with the added convenience of having a place in town I could happily give the sick of Sweden a pint or two of my red stuff. Nice bloke, aren’t I? Yes, I am, but I also like to have a nice lie down followed by tea and biscuits.

But NO! The altruistic act of giving blood is not possible in Sweden without a Swedish ID card. It was all very good natured and the ladies at the blood bank couldn’t see the logic of it either as I sat there, fit as a fiddle, brimming with oxygen rich and iron heavy AB+ circulating round my veins and arteries. Who would I be trying to cheat by giving blood without ID? Where is the possibility for fraud? Where’s the potential crime? What am I missing?

So what have I learnt? That for blood nor money, you are nothing without ID in Sweden.

I have now applied for a Swedish driving licence, so maybe in 2012 I’ll finally ‘be’ someone.

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I’ll be back blogging more regularly next year and will be putting on monthly nights in Stockholm and Linköping – more info soon – But meanwhile, don’t forget to follow me on Twitter – @BenKersley

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Tags: Blogging, ID, Lagom, LinkÃ¶ping, moans, Sweden
Posted in Comedy, Lagom, LinkÃ¶ping | 2 comments »

Weird Shit at STOFF

Thursday, August 25th, 2011

I’ve just got back from watching some weird shit at the VIP opening of STOFF, The Stockholm Fringe Festival. Just to clarify, by ‘weird shit’ I mean a naked Mexican opera singer with a beard but no penis. Incidentally, I feel I am qualified to describe this as weird shit as I have a degree in drama – I know how to academically analyse theatre, from Grotowski to Boal… and, trust me, the opera performance definitely comes under the category ‘weird shit’.

But how cool it was to be in the thick of it. Surrounded by theatre types doing weird and wonderful performances that the audience may or may not have understood. Having spent so long in small town Linköping recently, where mainstream is the order of the day, it was such a pleasure to hang out with performers for whom profound and pretentious were words that could be found tattooed on their inner lip.

The festival goes on at Kulturhuset for the next few days and there are performers from all over the world. Go along and maybe you can check out some equally weird shit. I spoke to a group from the UK called ‘Fools Play‘ who had just graduated from E15 drama school. I don’t think their shit is the weirdest at the festival, but it sounded like a pretty good option to go and watch. Their show is called ‘Go Solo’ and they are playing at Kulturhuset’s Hörsalen at 12.30 on 26/8 and Dramalabbet at 4pm on 27/8.

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Tags: Lagom, LinkÃ¶ping, plugs, Review, Stockholm, STOFF, students, Sweden
Posted in LinkÃ¶ping, Review | 2 comments »

Miss me?

Monday, June 20th, 2011

So, I haven’t been around The Local for a couple of months… but like an absentee father who disappears for long spells, then turns up again for Xmas and birthdays, I return full of enthusiasm and good cheer, whether you care or not!

Miss me? Probably not. But I’m here witha few gaps to fill in about what I’ve been up to for the last few months. Basically… I’ve been busy! So, sue me!

The tour with Danny finished in style with a couple of great gigs in Lund and Malmö. We had lots of fun and although we maybe didn’t revolutionise the stand up scene in Sweden, we had a few laughs along the way. It would be disengenious not to post this review that we got for the gig in Linköping:

Otherwise, I’ve started working part time for a voiceover company called Online Voices. So, if you need any voice, in any language, I can probably help you find it. They do radio commercials too and I wrote this bum example (For this I studied drama at university?). The comedy is rolling on – a few business gigs here and there over the summer (read Jönköping and Östergötland) and I’m getting my homepage re-jigged at the moment with a view to getting myself out there a little more. Which reminds me – don’t forget to follow me on Twitter!

What else? Oh yes… I’ve been popping up in your homes on a Friday night, making you hungry.

So, I’ll be back again soon, with tales from the road…

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Tags: Blogging, Comedy, Corren, DJ Danny, Gigs, Lagom, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up, Sweden, Twitter
Posted in Comedy, Lagom, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up, Tour 2011 | No comments »

Tour blog#10: A home win

Friday, April 1st, 2011

Last night’s gig was on the home turf of Linköping. Great turnout and a great response. I realise again that the venue, Bastiljen, is possibly one of the best live spaces in the country and it feels great to be involved with it. After last night one almost has the impression that word is spreading and the people of Linköping are starting to realise what a good venue it is too!

We had a full and varied show, with a good range of acts and a mixed audience. The mix was everything from students to doctors, to people from the bad side of town… I wrote some jokes I was very happy about on Linköping’s recent gang war. I mean come on! Gang warfare in Linköping!? Do me a favour!!

Apart from Danny, who had a great show, Kurt Lightner was also great. He strummed his guitar and improvised a hilarious song about Gaddaffi and a fish. very funny.

Very shortly heading off to Lund for the last gig of the tour. And then…. sleep!

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Tags: Bastiljen, Comedy, DJ Danny, Gigs, LinkÃ¶ping, plugs, Stand Up, Sweden
Posted in Comedy, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up, Tour 2011 | 1 comment »

Tour blog#9: Morning after the night before

Thursday, March 31st, 2011

Well. Stockholm is done. Avklarad. Disappointing turnout in terms of numbers which suggest that the concept of the show hasn’t grabbed the minds of people in Stockholm. It’s a shame because it is a very very funny show with lots of energy. But still. Onwards and upwards. The audience that were there had a really fantastic time and Danny was given an encore. So it can’t have been all that bad!

Met some nice people from Your Living City after the show, who have a website for stuff going on in English in Stockholm and also went for a beer with some other audience members. This probably hasn’t helped the cold that is sort of lingering in my tired and aching body. So I’ll see how I get on in the next few days. Still it was nice not to have to drive immediately after the gig.

It’s Linköping tonight. A gig on home turf, so there should be a decent crowd. If you are in the Linköping area, come on down to Bastiljen (opposite the library).

Right, now for a quick snooze before driving back down to Linköping

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Tags: Bastiljen, Comedy, DJ Danny, Gigs, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up, Stockholm
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Tour blog#4: Heading north

Friday, March 25th, 2011

Just about to hit the road for Falun. Seems a bit nuts to leave this nice spring weather for the frozen tundra of Dalarna. I’ve also just looked at the map again and realised quite how long Sweden is and quite how far it is from one venue to another on this tour. I find myself asking the question again and again, which idiot was it that organised this crazy schedule of dates and venues? And then I realise that I am that idiot.

Next time I organise a national tour, I’m going to make sure that the nation in question is somewhere small and manageable, like Lichtenstein, for example.

So, the car is getting warmed up for today’s 5 hour trip to Falun. I realise that our carbon footprint for this tour is probably the equivalent to a small town in Eastern Europe. I am also made to feel even more guitly about this as I realise that our gig tomorrow in Gothenburg clashes almost exactly with Earth Hour. Along with our large carbon footprint, I guess we are not a show that will appeal to the environmentally conscious. Perhaps we can make a concession and perform without sound or lights… It’s an idea…

Time to stab in and steer and point the car northwards in Falun. See you there tonight at Arenan or if you are sensible and live in Gothenburg, see you at Sinnet on Saturday night.

Time to hit the road!

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Tags: Comedy, DJ Danny, Gigs, Gothenburg, Lagom, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up, Sweden
Posted in Comedy, Lagom, Stand Up, Tour 2011 | 1 comment »

World Tour of Estonia and Finland

Thursday, January 20th, 2011

I went on an international tour last week. A mini tour of only two dates in two countries, but an international tour, nonetheless.

A quick hop with the budget airline that everyone loves to hate and I was in Tallinn, Estonia. I was met by my friend Louis who runs Comedy Estonia and Comedy Finland. He’d just got back from Australia, so even though it was midday, he felt like it was in the middle of the night. Mind you, we were in Estonia, so even though it was 2011, it felt like 1986.

We jumped in a cab and whizzed to Tallinn’s old town where we were staying and where the gig was taking place. I had read up a little about Estonia, but in truth, I had no idea that the old town would be quite so fantastic. The medieval architecture is breathtaking, with towers, fortifications, alleyways and city walls that you could spend hours wandering around imagining yourself as an oppressed Estonian serf or merciful Swedish duke.

The night’s gig was in a place called Drink Baar (which I highly recommend if you ever find yourself in Tallinn). I had some difficulty finding it as I left the address at the hostel. At the main square and thought that the easiest thing would be to ask someone outside another bar – Tallinn can’t be that big, I thought. Everyone I asked, I got the same response:

“I’m looking for Drink Baar”

“In here. This is drink bar”

I even asked a couple of policemen (who looked like thugs in uniforms) who looked at me like I was an idiot “This is Old Town. There are many drink bars”. Eventually, I found the place and it was filling up nicely. By showtime it was full to the rafters and the atmosphere was electric. Louis and the gang have built up a comedy scene there in a really short time and have established a dedicated and passionate audience. Oddly enough, they are pretty much the only people to do stand up in Estonia and they are now trying to set up a scene in Estonian.

I had a really fun time headlining. I did about 30 minutes with plenty of improvised material and finished off with a routine based on an Estonian guide book I had bought, which went down a storm. After the gig, we went to a very tacky nightclub called Shooters. The night was saved by meeting two drunk Latvian artists who wanted to know about London. I did a service to the world of art and told them to visit the Tate Modern and hang out in Shoreditch. I’d like to think I have given Latvia’s answer to Gilbert and George a nod in the right direction.

The next day (slightly hungover) we took the slow boat across the Gulf of Finland. This is an experience in itself. I got my first taste of the legendary drunk Finns. I was amazed that shouty, reeling drunks who could barely stand were not only allowed on the ferry, but were welcomed into the onboard shop to buy more alcohol. I’m not sure if I am turning into a conservative old man or whether I have actually been indoctrinated by Sweden’s draconian alcohol laws.

It would be ridiculous for me to offer a genuine opinion on Finland we arrived at five in the evening and left at ten the next morning. However, for what it’s worth, Helsinki seemed like Sweden with the volume turned down a notch or three. The gig was great, a really nice room which was sold out. The audience were about 50% Finns, 50% non Finn and I did about 30 minutes which included loads and loads of improvised material. And I finally got round to asking someone to video it. Click here for a small taster.

At the meal after, I met a few interesting folk, including a .com millionaire who had retired in his thirties, a Finnish TV presenter who was recently sacked for making a joke (which went viral on You Tube) and Finnish comedian Tomi Walamies who I am going to bring over to Linköping at the end of January for the secret launch of the new venue, Bastiljen. More about that soon.

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Tags: Bastiljen, Comedy, Estonia, Finland, Gigs, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up
Posted in Comedy, Stand Up | 4 comments »

Twenty Eleven is GO!

Sunday, January 9th, 2011

After New Years Eve’s resolution fest and blind optimism, the reality of the year’s first week can be a bit of an anti-climax. At least it has been that way for me in the past. This year, I’ve played it a bit different – No resolutions, no inflated expectations or declarations of forthcoming success as the bells struck twelve. And for a change, I’ve hit the first week of the new year running.

I started the week working the newsdesk of this esteemed organ and found myself in conversation with the head of media relations at Volvo – Not how I had predicted my year would start. I’ll be working a bit more for The Local over the coming months, so my name may pop up here and there under (hopefully typo free) copy.

The rest of the week continued apace with a voice over – I’m now the voice of the soon to be launched Windows 7 user guide. I also had an inspiring gig for a fascinating collection of people who were like a cross between a secret society and a club for aesthetes. It was an invitation only dinner where select guests who were all accomplished performers, singers, dancers and musicians, performed a turn on the theme of satire. Typically, someone would sing brilliantly, then be congratulated on having just got the lead in the latest production at Stockholm’s Folkopera. The acts ranged from Tango to Baroque dance, from Shostakovich to Chopin, from Hasse and Tage to Monty Python. I performed a routine about Swedish politics which went down well, although coming onstage following a virtuoso cellist who performed Shostakovitch with tears in her eyes was a hard act to follow. The evening ended with an ‘Allsong’ of Auld Lang Syne, topped off with a bagpipe accompaniment.

Otherwise, I’ve been working hard on promoting Linköping’s new venue, Bastiljen, which opens on the 3rd of February with my stand up club, LKPG HA HA! The headliner is Marika Carlsson who caused controversy earlier in the year with her show ‘En Negers Uppväxt’. I’m really looking forward to it.

I’ve also got a few English language acts coming over later in the season, including the Scottish Comedian of the Year, Ro Campbell and Maureen Younger who runs Laughing Cows in London, Birmingham and Berlin. PLUS, I’m organsing a national tour of Sweden in March with Danny Robins’ brilliant persona DJ Danny who hilariously attempts to make it as a superstar DJ. So far, I’ve got dates confirmed in Malmö, Gothenburg, Falun, Linköping and at Boulevard Teater in Stockholm with a couple more dates hopefully to be confirmed next week.

Twenty Eleven is GO!

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Tags: Bastiljen, Comedy, DJ Danny, Gigs, LinkÃ¶ping, plugs, Stand Up, Stockholm
Posted in Comedy, Lagom, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up | No comments »

Twelve Steps

Monday, November 22nd, 2010

I got booked for a gig at Globen on Saturday night.

In my head, I was half way to Stockholm, picturing myself performing in front of 15000 people and meeting Sweden’s elite hockey ‘A Lag’… The illusion was shattered when I found out that it was actually Globen Linköping, a small hall in town run by the Temperence movement NBV. I readied myself for a much smaller audience and a totally different ‘A Lag’.

The event was a theatre festival where participants could try out different styles of performance. I ran a workshop in the morning and performed a 30 minute set in the evening. There was a party atmosphere and although the NBV venue is, by definition, ‘alcohol and drug free’, I couldn’t help but see the irony as the teenage contingent ran around with eyes like saucers, high on soft drinks, chocolate and sweets. They would have all been a lot calmer with a stiff drink or a toke on a joint inside them. I worry for the youth of Sweden when I think about their future dealing with obesity and rotten teeth having been exposed to so much sugar at such a young age. Kids in the UK and US are offered a much wider range of stimulants.

Before the gig I looked around the venue a bit to find out about what NBV do. From what I could gather they offer clean activities as an alternative to drink and drugs. However, one activity on offer struck me as wholly inappropriate. If I were a recovering addict, the last thing that would take my mind off my previous addictions would be ‘line dancing’. Not only would you have the instructor barking on about ‘having a couple of lines’ before you could enjoy the dancing, which to me gives a mixed message, but also, having already memorised twelve steps it would be a bit much to deal with any more steps.

The gig went well and I even got asked for my autograph. I’m gonna be big amongst the sugar-crazed youth of Linköping.

In other news, I had my first article in Swedish published. Had some help with the translation of course, and as usual, it’s just me moaning about the lack of culture in Linköping. But it is in Swedish. In a Swedish quality newspaper. And even if I say so myself, I feel quite proud about it. You can read it here in Corren

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Tags: Comedy, Corren, Gigs, LinkÃ¶ping, politics, Press, Stand Up, Sweden
Posted in Comedy, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up | 1 comment »