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Cold Baked Beans

Monday, April 16th, 2012

The day after tomorrow I’m heading to Estonia and Finland to do a couple of gigs in English. As I write this, the guy I’m supporting, Magnus Betnér, is hosting his own show on Kanal 5 called ‘Betnér Direct’. Like everything he does, it’s groundbreaking (for Swedish TV), it’s controversial (for Sweden) and it pulls no punches. Betnér is a smart bloke.

I’m really looking forward to the gigs in Estonia and Finland, but right now, there’s one thing that worries me. I’m feeling a certain amount of pressure. Magnus’ material puts the world to rights and is usually impressively topical, often covering the events of the last 24 hours.

I should write something mildly astute and relevant to Estonian politics to impress him. Unfortunately, I have got stuck in a writing rut. Everytime I think about what I’m going to do on stage on Wednesday night in Tallinn, all I can think about was the cold baked beans that I was served in a cafe with my English breakfast last time I was in Estonia.

It was disgusting, outrageous and left me traumatised for weeks. And I’m unable to move on. As I play through in my mind what I’ll do on stage, I visualise myself doing various routines about cold baked beans. I’m not saying these imaginary routines aren’t funny, but they are very much stuck within the parameters of the baked bean.

My only hope is that there is some huge international baked bean related incident in the next 48 hours. Fingers crossed readers. If that happens, I’ll be seen as having the sharpest satirical mind in modern comedy. If not, Estonia will remember me as a baked has bean.

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Don’t forget to follow me on Twitter @BenKersley

And if you do find yourself in Tallinn, Helsinki or Turku this week and you are a fan of baked beans and/or Magnus Betnér please come along to one of the shows.

http://www.comedyestonia.com/

http://www.comedyfinland.com/

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Tags: Betnér, Estonia, Finland, Gigs, Stand Up
Posted in Comedy, Stand Up | 2 comments »

Reefer Madness

Friday, February 10th, 2012

The war on drugs has come to Linköping.

Cannabis use is on the increase which means that local tutting and hand-wringing has gone into overdrive. The chief of police has taken action. Serious action. Serious action in the form of a big article in the local paper to inform us about cannabis. Östgötacorrespondenten, a newspaper, generally not read by teenagers, but pawed over by their over anxious parents and teachers, has joined the top cop at the forefront of this war on drugs.

There’s a photo of this hardened law enforcer, looking concerned as he surveys a cupboard full of drug paraphernalia. He stares into the abyss of the cupboard, ready to slam the doors shut again and lock away this hell – but it’s all there, the evils of cannabis, for us to see – I know that while many of the good burghers of Linköping will find the sight terrifying, anyone who been even close to a university halls of residence will immediately recognise the contents of a first year engineering student’s room. It’s all there: The bongs in Rasta colours, a T-shirt with a big marijauna leaf on it and of course, the ubiquitous picture of an alien with a spliff saying ‘Take me to your dealer’

Corren have helpfully give the reader a guide to the warning signs as to whether you own child is using cannabis and I am going to share these tips for the readers of The Local and particularly the readers of The Local who were not around 85 years ago, in 1936, to get swept up in the hysteria of Reefer Madness.

Here’s what to look out for if you are worried about your kids:

Has their taste in music changed?
Remember how they used to dance around the room to The Gummy Bears and Astid Lindgren? And now, since they started gymnasium, they listen to guitar or electronic music, or reggae, or hip hop, or Sean Banan?? That’s not proper music! They are clearly junkies!

Are they tired or moody? This symptom is also know as ‘being a teenager’

Do they like skateboarding?
This is the telltale signs of drug abuse. If your child enjoys a sport that gets them out of the house, keeps them fit and creates a social circle of like minded people, stop them now! As my friend James pointed out, skateboarding is a gateway sport.

What worries me most is that I have felt very tired recently, and not only that, I have started listening to totally new genres of music – I was rather moved by a baroque piece I heard on the car radio last week. Luckily, I can’t skateboard, but I did buy a woolly hat from the local skate shop.Will people start seeing me as ‘one of them’?

I haven’t been exposed to any drugs here in Linköping, but I’m worried that suspicious fingers will start to point. … so I’m tempted to start smoking hash, just to deal with the stress of all this suspicion.

Meanwhile, the other main news in the paper was that Linköping plans to build an enormous greenhouse. What will be grown there is being kept a tight secret, but it doesn’t take much to add two and two together and see that the kommun is planing to cash in on the latest teenage cash cow.

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Back in my drug free reality, The Tuesday Chinwag had it’s premiere on Tuesday in Stockholm. You can read more about me and it here in this article on The Local. Come along next time! The last one was a hoot!

You can also follow me on Twitter @BenKersley

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Tags: Comedy, Corren, Film, Gigs, LinkÃ¶ping, moans, Stand Up, Stockholm, Sweden, Twitter
Posted in Comedy, Lagom, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up | 9 comments »

Miss me?

Monday, June 20th, 2011

So, I haven’t been around The Local for a couple of months… but like an absentee father who disappears for long spells, then turns up again for Xmas and birthdays, I return full of enthusiasm and good cheer, whether you care or not!

Miss me? Probably not. But I’m here witha few gaps to fill in about what I’ve been up to for the last few months. Basically… I’ve been busy! So, sue me!

The tour with Danny finished in style with a couple of great gigs in Lund and Malmö. We had lots of fun and although we maybe didn’t revolutionise the stand up scene in Sweden, we had a few laughs along the way. It would be disengenious not to post this review that we got for the gig in Linköping:

Otherwise, I’ve started working part time for a voiceover company called Online Voices. So, if you need any voice, in any language, I can probably help you find it. They do radio commercials too and I wrote this bum example (For this I studied drama at university?). The comedy is rolling on – a few business gigs here and there over the summer (read Jönköping and Östergötland) and I’m getting my homepage re-jigged at the moment with a view to getting myself out there a little more. Which reminds me – don’t forget to follow me on Twitter!

What else? Oh yes… I’ve been popping up in your homes on a Friday night, making you hungry.

So, I’ll be back again soon, with tales from the road…

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Tags: Blogging, Comedy, Corren, DJ Danny, Gigs, Lagom, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up, Sweden, Twitter
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Tour blog#10: A home win

Friday, April 1st, 2011

Last night’s gig was on the home turf of Linköping. Great turnout and a great response. I realise again that the venue, Bastiljen, is possibly one of the best live spaces in the country and it feels great to be involved with it. After last night one almost has the impression that word is spreading and the people of Linköping are starting to realise what a good venue it is too!

We had a full and varied show, with a good range of acts and a mixed audience. The mix was everything from students to doctors, to people from the bad side of town… I wrote some jokes I was very happy about on Linköping’s recent gang war. I mean come on! Gang warfare in Linköping!? Do me a favour!!

Apart from Danny, who had a great show, Kurt Lightner was also great. He strummed his guitar and improvised a hilarious song about Gaddaffi and a fish. very funny.

Very shortly heading off to Lund for the last gig of the tour. And then…. sleep!

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Tags: Bastiljen, Comedy, DJ Danny, Gigs, LinkÃ¶ping, plugs, Stand Up, Sweden
Posted in Comedy, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up, Tour 2011 | 1 comment »

Tour blog#9: Morning after the night before

Thursday, March 31st, 2011

Well. Stockholm is done. Avklarad. Disappointing turnout in terms of numbers which suggest that the concept of the show hasn’t grabbed the minds of people in Stockholm. It’s a shame because it is a very very funny show with lots of energy. But still. Onwards and upwards. The audience that were there had a really fantastic time and Danny was given an encore. So it can’t have been all that bad!

Met some nice people from Your Living City after the show, who have a website for stuff going on in English in Stockholm and also went for a beer with some other audience members. This probably hasn’t helped the cold that is sort of lingering in my tired and aching body. So I’ll see how I get on in the next few days. Still it was nice not to have to drive immediately after the gig.

It’s Linköping tonight. A gig on home turf, so there should be a decent crowd. If you are in the Linköping area, come on down to Bastiljen (opposite the library).

Right, now for a quick snooze before driving back down to Linköping

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Tags: Bastiljen, Comedy, DJ Danny, Gigs, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up, Stockholm
Posted in Comedy, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up, Tour 2011 | Comments Off

Tour blog#8: Stockholm here we come

Wednesday, March 30th, 2011

Tonight’s the night. Stockholm. The bright lights and big city are a short (by this tour’s standards) car ride away. We have to be at the theatre for 2pm to sound check, then the plan is to take it easy for a few hours before the show.

At the moment, ticket sales have been slower than expected, so if you have nothing to do tonight, please come down to Boulevard Teatern in Södermalm and bring a couple of friends! You can get tickets via ticnet or buy them on the door at the theatre.

The days off haven’t really been days off at all. I’ve been working for the sound production company Widevox and Danny has been interviewing people for the BBC Radio 4 documentary he’s making. Among others, he’s interviewed Magnus Betnér and the dogfather himself Dogge Doggelito.

Right. time to get my bag together for tonight’s stay in the big city! See you tonight Stockholmers!

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Tags: Betnér, Comedy, DJ Danny, Gigs, Stand Up, Stockholm, Sweden
Posted in Comedy, Stand Up, Tour 2011 | Comments Off

Tour blog#7: Small but perfectly formed

Monday, March 28th, 2011

I realise I am a day late with this blog post. I blame the hostel in Gothenburg, the size of Sweden and the need for sleep.

Firstly, the hostel – In this day and age, a youth hostel that didn’t have wireless. Can you believe it?! Also the hostel was full of members of CUF which is the Center party’s youth wing. This isn’t an excuse for not blogging, but it did mean that there wasn’t any quiet place to sit and type without being disturbed by some politically active youths away from home. The Center party is traditionally the party of farmers, so they were probably amazed by the electric lights and you know what they say – There ain’t no party like a Center party.

Secondly, as I have already realised (with no small amount of horror) Sweden is a bloody enormous country. So the majority of my touring day is spent sitting behind the wheel of the car. Something I did for roughly 6 hours on Saturday and 4 hours on Sunday.

Thirdly, the need for sleep. Imagine the cumulative effects of staying in the same hostel as partying young farmers with driving for hours and hours… So that’s what I’ve been catching up on.

Anyway – Gothenburg! Sinnet was the venue for our third stop on the DJ Danny tour. It’s a beautiful venue, small, intimate, well run… all we needed was an audience. It’s not that nobody came, but it wasn’t exactly what you might describe as ‘busy’. I got the audience to fill up the front few rows and sit next to each other – Something that is usually very difficult to do. But the few people who were there were really up for it and once we ignored the fact that financially it was a disaster, we actually all had a really good time. I improvised loads as did the second support act Kurt Lightner. Danny did his set and got a great response.He even got a Finn to hold hands with a Swede (neither of whom were drunk)

We left the venue happy and tired… and ready to take a few days off before our Stockholm gig on Wednesday. If you are in Stockholm on the 30th, don’t miss out on the chance to see this genuinely feel good show. I said I wouldn’t do the hard sell on this blog… but here’s a link to buy tickets! http://www.ticnet.se/event/DjDannybiljetter/BOU0330D

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Tags: Comedy, DJ Danny, Gigs, Gothenburg, Lagom, plugs, Stand Up, Stockholm, Sweden
Posted in Comedy, Lagom, Stand Up, Tour 2011 | Comments Off

Tour blog#6: Students and pensioners

Saturday, March 26th, 2011

***To win tickets for the Stockholm show click here***

Tonight’s show is in Gothenburg at Sinnet

Sitting in the Falun youth hostel at 6.30am looking out of the window at the beautiful view. The skies are blues and the air has a special clarity that is inspiring. The last thing I want to do is to head down to Gothenburg… but that’s the way it goes..

Last night’s gig at Arenan in Falun was weird and wonderful. It was about three quarters full and mostly teenagers who were really up for it (apart from one or two Emo kids who were too cool for skool). The night started off in an absolutely hilarious way. My friend Isak who runs the night (and in my opinion is the funniest comedian in Sweden) also works as a director on the TV programme Pensionärjävlar (Fucking pensioners) which is a hidden camera programme where pensioners set up members of the public. It is very funny.

Last night they set up a scenario where an elderly couple came to the club and started heckling the first comedian. Thomas Eriksson, who is a very good actor and comedian was in on it, but the audience had no idea. I was rolling around laughing as Britt, a grey haired, smartly dressed septagenarian stood up and shouted “Say something funny! Or show us your balls!”

We performed – my act went really well and I brought the pensioners into my set a little bit I was only disappointed they didn’t heckle me (I was all ready to show my balls). Danny did about 45 minutes and got the audience dancing away – apart from the two Emo kids, one of whom had green cat eye contact lenses in and had an aloof look throughout.

I liked Falun – even though we will have spent less than 24 hours here. People have always talked about the beauty of Dalarna and although I can’t quite put my finger on what the difference is, it does seem to have a quality that other place in Sweden don’t seem to have. That said, the temperature here is still well into the minuses and the snow is still thick on the ground. At least Gothenburg has already entered the spring.

And so it is that Danny and I must hit the road for tonight’s gig in GBG at Sinnet. See you there perhaps?

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Tags: Comedy, DJ Danny, Falun, Gigs, Gothenburg, Stand Up, Sweden
Posted in Comedy, Lagom, Stand Up, Tour 2011 | Comments Off

Tour blog#5: Competition Time!

Friday, March 25th, 2011

Me and Danny have just arrived at the hostel in Falun and it’s a great looking hostel so far. My memory of youth hostelling in the Lake District was that they always smelled of damp socks and banana sandwiches. Here in Falun the hostel is all tastefully decorated without a German backpacker in sight.

Anyway… The Local has been kind enough to announce that we are giving away a couple of tickets to the show at the Boulevard Teater in Stockholm this Wednesday. For a chance to win, just answer the following question:

DJ Danny wants to be a superstar DJ. Which island is famous for its DJ scene?

a. Gotland

b. Ibiza

c. Fantasy Island
Email your answer to ben@lkpghaha.se. The winner will be randomly selected and contacted on Tuesday. Otherwise you can buy your tickets for the Stockholm gig via Ticnet

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Tags: Comedy, DJ Danny, Gigs, Lagom, Stand Up, Stockholm, Sweden
Posted in Comedy, Lagom, Stand Up, Tour 2011 | 2 comments »

Tour blog#4: Heading north

Friday, March 25th, 2011

Just about to hit the road for Falun. Seems a bit nuts to leave this nice spring weather for the frozen tundra of Dalarna. I’ve also just looked at the map again and realised quite how long Sweden is and quite how far it is from one venue to another on this tour. I find myself asking the question again and again, which idiot was it that organised this crazy schedule of dates and venues? And then I realise that I am that idiot.

Next time I organise a national tour, I’m going to make sure that the nation in question is somewhere small and manageable, like Lichtenstein, for example.

So, the car is getting warmed up for today’s 5 hour trip to Falun. I realise that our carbon footprint for this tour is probably the equivalent to a small town in Eastern Europe. I am also made to feel even more guitly about this as I realise that our gig tomorrow in Gothenburg clashes almost exactly with Earth Hour. Along with our large carbon footprint, I guess we are not a show that will appeal to the environmentally conscious. Perhaps we can make a concession and perform without sound or lights… It’s an idea…

Time to stab in and steer and point the car northwards in Falun. See you there tonight at Arenan or if you are sensible and live in Gothenburg, see you at Sinnet on Saturday night.

Time to hit the road!

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Tags: Comedy, DJ Danny, Gigs, Gothenburg, Lagom, LinkÃ¶ping, Stand Up, Sweden
Posted in Comedy, Lagom, Stand Up, Tour 2011 | 1 comment »