The last few months I’ve been reading but not participating in The Local’s forum. I’ve probably read over 500 threads about people who have moved to Sweden from other countries, there experiences and how they have handled the change. It appears that some are good at adjusting yet some gave up quicker and went home.
With any forum you have to take what you read with a pinch of salt as some people will always post in a negative frame of mind. It appears that Sweden is different to how people envisaged but I’m just wondering how many of those who arrived had visited Sweden before. Even though I have been many times it is still going to be a shock to me when I actually do move (just booking a one way ticket will feel strange!)
One of the topics that I have been very interested in is how those who have moved to Sweden have found it hard to make friends. Many of the posts call Swedish people “Cold” or “Unfriendly” and this has got me thinking. It has awoken some memories and thoughts about my visits to Sweden and the difference between the UK and Swedish cultures.
Living the majority of my life in the UK I have found that moving to a new area means that the local pub is the best place to find friends. I’ve been living where I am for around 18 months now and I met my longest known friends in the local. Alas they were never keen to do anything outside of the pub and so that limited the friendships.
Sweden has a much more outgoing culture than the UK and friends will do a lot more outdoors than us Brits. Yet reading all of the posts so far it appears that Swedish people can be hostile to newcomers. Yet is this true? Could it be that those who have moved to Sweden have been to reluctant to approach any new people due to fear of language or not being accepted? I will admit I don’t have many friends in Sweden so I will be starting all over again. I have always been good at meeting new people so I actually see this as more of a challenge than a problem.
So my questions to all my Swedish readers are
• Do you think Swedish people are reluctant to make new foreign friends?
• What is the best way of making friends with Swedish?
• Where is the best place to meet new Swedish friends?
Being an anglo your chance of making friends with people “our way”, via happenstance or in a cafe or bar are slim. Join clubs and groups you have an interest in. Swedes I have met through clubs are very accommodating and hospitable generally. After a month or two don’t be surprised if you make some friends and end up doing things outside the group.
It works in Malmö. Interested in seeing if you give it a try and reporting back if it works for you in Norrköping.
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I don’t think we are reluctant, it depends on personality. But as you may have experienced it takes a while for us to “warm up” in a social situation with someone we don’t know.
Since I have lived four years in Norrköping I can tell you something about where to meet people here. I have been a part of the university these four years, and this is where I have met most of my friends. Student parties are one way of meeting new people. Swedes under the influence of alcohol are a lot more open to new people
If you sign up to one of the universitys classes you can get a student appartment where you can meet new friends.
As the previous writer said – clubs and groups through common interests. Norrköping is a very cultural city and there are plenty of opportunities if you want to join a choir, do poetry slam (that’s what I do), theatre and things like that. Or take an evening class such as dancing or maybe art. Don’t be afraid of talking to people, but at the same time take it easy so you don’t scare them away. Chatting with someone in a café may not work – a pub works better.
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Thanks for the replies!
I’m not afraid of making new friends. Being a writer I often frequent many a cafe.
I’m sure that there will be plenty of opportunities for me to do so, I just needed to hear others experiences and views. Keep them coming!
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I don´t think we swedes are hostile or unfriendly…the problem with us swedish people is that we are afriad of looking awkward. Thats way we often don´t talk to people we don´t know that much. But when you get to know us we are very friendly and like meeting new folks..it just takes time.
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I think I agree with that Jessica. It is all about learning for me and I have yet to meet one Swedish person whom I would describe as unfriendly. I think it’s just about getting to know people until you gain their trust.
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hi there.i was reading this statement and it is all very interesting indeed.
i have moved from germany to london 6 years ago and the first people i met was the swedes.its been the typical au-pair-meets-needs-co-survivor-story:)and i must say,apart from finding german friends-naturally-i particularly recall having met one swedish girl over here i will surely hold a life-long friendship with.myself,i am very open and bubbly and i sometimes find that scandinavians in general-no matter they might be slightly reserved at the very beginning or not-are one of the friendliest and loveliest people i have come to get to know ,because once they decide to really get to know each other better and meet more often,i can only say,one can call oneself lucky to have a person in ones life who will remain the most wonderful and honest friend.i dont like putting people of one nation in one clichee anyway ,because i believe it is different aspects but only the country one has grown up in,what makes a person.and i admit,not living in scandinavia ,i might surely not be able to reflect the whole perspective of how it feels like to actually live over there for good.but no matter what decision made ,i am sure that once someone does open up to the culture and its people living in the country (which,may i add,i have no doubt whatsoever ,the writer of this statement has!!:)) choosen to move to ,it can be a true bliss.myself,i’ve often had very difficult times living in london ,too ,but i would never regret the experience and i will never forget the challenge i received from this entire adventure.
all the best to you all:)!!
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I have found that even though the Swedes ’seem’ friendly enough they are not really into making friends with folks that are not locals. Hey I know that a lot of you seem to disagree, but try being in my shoes!
I have helped people move house and been totally blanked when dropping the kids off at school by the same people! Yet on the other hand I don’t speak Swedish too well and I find that that really makes a big difference.
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hello,
I actually posed the same question in my blog: http://www.thelocal.se/blogs/evansluong/.
Quang
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