Sometimes I need to remember that I moved to Sweden for a reason.
Today I gazed outside into the snowy landscape and gazed upon the familiar landscape, that I have become accustomed to since my move. The old lady walking her dog, the garbage collectors turning up like clockwork each Monday morning and the ever reliable tram that thunders past my window.
I remember the excitement that these trivial things used to bring to me. The thrill of catching a tram, seeing a person that I did not know used to give me butterflies. Even walking into the apartment as daft as it sounds were delight itself.
Yet as, I start my second year here in Sweden I have come to the realization that I need newer things to explore. Working from home does have its benefits, but I do miss the ‘hustle and bustle’ that London used to provide. Working and living in a Swedish apartment is not easy, especially during these winter months. The only real conversation I can have is by Skype or telephone yet, like my mobile, it seems that my contacts are scarce these days.
Is it because it’s more difficult to meet friends here, or maybe my friends back home have just forgotten that I exist? Whatever the reason it’s becoming quite lonely at times. Yet I am not going to sit here and mope into a puddle of light beer, far from it. It’s a New Year, time for a new change.
The change in working in a small office with several people to one of total isolation at home has no doubt changed me. Far from me being a recluse or a slight agoraphobic, I do, however, think that my desire to get out more, is not what it once was. This must simply change. The cold weather is no excuse for being lazy and lazy and some days that was just how I felt. No effort required, just jump out of bed stroll to the kitchen, turn on the Mac and that’s my journey to work done.
I need to increase my confidence once more and remember all those times where I traveled to strange countries alone. Those times where I went way off the beaten path and saw parts of the world that no travel brochure or tourist guide would take. Now, here I am, with a slight fear to travel outside my own door.
Sweden my confidence may have been buried in the snow, but as it thaws, it will reignite once more. I have a city, a country to explore and from tomorrow I will embrace it like a friend.