• Sweden edition
 

Snuggling With the Enemy

My Fake Magazine of LIfe in Sweden – by Scott Ritcher, American publisher of a real magazine called K Composite

Killer Socks

For the past few months, I’ve been wearing socks that don’t match each day. I prefer one wide-striped sock usually on my right foot but not always and one solid.

When the weather gets cold enough each winter, I recommit myself to one simple oath: “I refuse to be cold.”

The transition to walking around completely insulated against the elements consists of a base layer of long underwear, upon which I simply add more of the same clothes I wear every day. Double shirts, double socks, et cetera.

This morning as I put my socks on, I made my traditional winter transition to wearing two pairs of socks.

I had to make a choice. Would both pairs not match, even the two that aren’t seen? Would a secret match exist within the four individual socks? That is, one of the hidden socks would be a match to one of the visible socks?

While I ultimately decided that all four socks should be unique among the set, a larger realization occurred.

This is a sock-making machine.

For the first time in my life it occurred to me that socks are probably not manufactured in pairs. There is probably a big machine somewhere that spits out 20,000 socks an hour, the loose products of which are then paired up by a machine that packages them, or by an 8-year-old kid with one of those plastic guns that stabs a white I-shaped tab between the two, uniting two socks, at least until they are removed from the purchaser’s feet for the first time.

Socks are born alone and die alone. The pairing of two so-called “matching” socks is merely an illusion that has been so masterfully perpetuated that I never realized it was not the natural order until I was an adult man. Today.

I have to add a caveat. This new insight into the sock world has not been confirmed or denied by any professionals with knowledge of sock manufacturing processes.

If there is a reader in the audience who can, in fact, confirm that socks are actually made two at a time, as pairs, please let me know.

20111220-162553.jpg

The Killer showing off his new socks.

The single sock theory neither sours nor sweetens my love affair with new socks. It only provides new insight into something that is likely different from the way I always presumed it to be.

Nor do I imagine it matters much to Jerry Lee Lewis, a man who has the means to live the dream, it has been said, to wear a band new pair of socks every day. Oh that I could live like that.

Report abuse »

3 responses to “Killer Socks”

  1. janerowena says:

    Odd socks are my 16 year old son’s small rebellion against his very strict school uniform. he wears one grey, one brightly chequered or striped. If he suspects that a teacher has noticed, he quickly hides the offending sock and exposes the other, in the hope that they will think that they have defective eyesight. I suspect that they are only too pleased to see that those small acts of rebellion aren’t more serious ones.

    Report abuse »

  2. Lucia says:

    You’re almost certainly right about commercially made socks, but handknitters often make socks (and mittens, gloves, legwarmers, anything requiring a pair) two at a time.

    Report abuse »

  3. Civical says:

    I thought you were trying to say something profound abou the human condition, living life like a sock.

    Report abuse »

RECEIVE OUR NEWSLETTER AND ALERTS
Blog updates

21 November

Editor’s Blog, November 21st (The Local Sweden) »

"Hello from Stockholm, Our week started with reports another Russian plane had been spotted in Sweden’s airspace,..." READ »

 

21 November

Exclusive Interview with Abba’s Bjorn Ulvaeus (Stockholm in my American Heart) »

"Most of us will agree that actions speak louder than words. But when the two are..." READ »

 
 
 
Latest news from The Local in Austria

More news from Austria at thelocal.at

Latest news from The Local in Switzerland

More news from Switzerland at thelocal.ch

Latest news from The Local in Germany

More news from Germany at thelocal.de

Latest news from The Local in Denmark

More news from Denmark at thelocal.dk

Latest news from The Local in Spain

More news from Spain at thelocal.es

Latest news from The Local in France

More news from France at thelocal.fr

Latest news from The Local in Italy

More news from Italy at thelocal.it

Latest news from The Local in Norway

More news from Norway at thelocal.no

848
jobs available
Swedish Down Town Consulting & Productions
Swedish Down Town Consulting & Productions is an innovative business company which provides valuable assistance with the Swedish Authorities, Swedish language practice and general communications. Call 073-100 47 81 or visit:
swedishdowntown.com
PSD Media
PSD Media is marketing company that offers innovative solutions for online retailers. We provide modern solutions that help increase traffic and raise conversion. Visit our site at:
psdmedia.se
If you want to drink, that’s your business.
If you want to stop, we can help.

Learn more about English-language Alcoholics Anonymous in Sweden. No dues. No fees. Confidentiality assured.
aa-europe.org/sweden
The Local Spain is hiring!
The Local is seeking a new editor for our site in Spain to join our growing team of internationally-minded, driven, ambitious and clued-up journalists
Click here for the full job description