Stockholm Syndrome

Curiosities, musings, and general miscellany from the demented mind of an expat Canuck…
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Archive for December, 2009

Learning something new every day

Monday, December 14th, 2009

I’m one of the lucky expats who has followed his spouse to Sweden and found gainfully employment. Jill works for a research lab, and in discussions with them, found they need a ‘business guy’ to handle a bunch of the non-science things – organizing and running conferences, negotiating supplier contracts, doing website and communications updates, etc. Right up my alley, given my past experience. So a couple of weeks ago I started work, and while still struggling to negotiate the internal systems and subsequent bureaucracy – e.g. no phone line, no email address, no computer, who to talk to about this, where do I go for this, etc – I’ve pretty much fallen into the role and am getting by. Tickety-boo, as some would say.

However, one thing the lab also needs some help with is PCR. Not knowing what PCR is, I consulted the supreme authority on all things unknown – Wikipedia. It says “polymerase chain reaction (PCR) is a technique to amplify a single or few copies of a piece of DNA across several orders of magnitude, generating thousands to millions of copies of a particular DNA sequence. The method relies on thermal cycling, consisting of cycles of repeated heating and cooling of the reaction for DNA melting and enzymatic replication of the DNA. Primers (short DNA fragments) containing sequences complementary to the target region along with a DNA polymerase (after which the method is named) are key components to enable selective and repeated amplification. As PCR progresses, the DNA generated is itself used as a template for replication, setting in motion a chain reaction in which the DNA template is exponentially amplified.” This is, as I’ve learned, one of the more basic procedures in the lab, so much so that a relatively intelligent monkey (i.e. one that doesn’t eat it own poop) can be trained to do it. In the absence of a trained monkey, however, they thought it would be “fun” for me to take this on, and to ease the workload of the far more intelligent primates. Although completely outside my area of expertise – my last taste of science being high-school physics and the odd episode of Myth Busters – I readily agreed. Finally, I’d have a direct understanding – albeit a limited one – of some of the work my wife does every day. It would be an added connection we share, an overlap in our professional lives. As with most things, this is great in theory, but wholly problematic in practice.

Jill has just spent the last hour walking me through PCR. It starts with a protocol, a set of instructions, of what needs to be done, what needs to be added, what needs to be done after that stuff is added, etc. However, being a fairly basic procedure for science types, the ‘protocol’ is only a few lines long, mostly just a recipe of weird ingredients, and filled with notations that are completely foreign. (Me: What the hell is an ‘ul’? Her: Um, that’s the notation for ‘micro liter’.) For them, running a PCR is like riding a bike – someone says ride from Karlaplan to Gamlastan, you can do it without being told to place one foot on the pedals, hold the handlebars, push off, place other foot on other pedal, move feet in forward-rotating circles, etc. Me? I need to be told what a bike even is. So I took to writing everything down. Label the tubes. Put them in a box, in order. Take the yellow pipette. Put on a tip. Hold in right hand. Pick up tube. Remember to blink. This is hardly an exaggeration, either – one small mistake and I could screw up someone’s entire experiment. No pressure.

One would say that learning a new task – e.g. learning to replicate DNA, which still sounds awesome – is a noble pursuit and a way of stretching one’s abilities. I fully agree. But then the reality comes in – here’s Jill, with her Ph.D. in Immuno-Bio-Science-Type-Stuff, trying (patiently) to teach her hubby the most basic of all procedures, and him looking like a poop-nibbling monkey staring blankly from a tree branch.

I’ve always said that Jill is far smarter than I am, and although she’ll politely disagree, she simply is. She has a capacity for knowledge that is astounding, can pick up language at a freakish speed, has a Ph.D in a thoroughly confusing line of study, and can knit. (I don’t know how to knit, so that skill fits the ‘ways she is smarter than me’ criteria.) But before, there was always an inherent separation, like two areas of a Venn diagram that never overlap. She had her work, I had mine, and never the twain shall meet. Now, however, I’ve stepped into her world, donned the lab coat, and am attempting something she can do (and probably has done) in her sleep. It’s put an empirical measure on an ethereal supposition. It is proof to what I’ve been saying all along – she is smarter than me, and I can prove it.

I don’t feel threatened by this at all, mind you. Instead, I feel like a knuckle-dragger. I jot down these seemingly elementary terms (Polymerase? Annealing?) and scurry back to my office to look them up (again, thanks Wikipedia!). Why, because I want to understand what I’m doing and not just mechanically follow each of the 1,023 steps? Of course. But also so I don’t sound like a fecal-munching monkey. I want to show her that I can learn this stuff, and more importantly I can understand it. I want her to feel like I have an interest in her area of expertise, and can in some small way demonstrate that by running a simple PCR – ideally without the 4 pages of notes and an open Wikipedia window in front of me.

She’ll always be the smart one. And the pretty one. I’m the tall one she keeps around to reach things on the top shelf. It’s our dynamic, and it works. Maybe if I do well, she’ll teach me something else to add to my expanding repertoire of scientific expertise. Or what side of the plate the fork goes on (even this monkey has some degree of etiquette). She’s got her work cut out for her…

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One man’s garbage is this man’s treasure

Monday, December 7th, 2009

Fans of South Park will recall Terrance and Philip, the flatulent Canadian comedy duo who fancy themselves amateur treasure hunters in their spare time. That is, whenever they are bored and/or not blasting trouser-coughs in each other’s face, they stand around and “look for treasure,” which is little more than peeking under the nearest rock, or behind a bush, or under their own feet. I can identify with these rapscallions – not necessarily in their uproarious amusement with flatulence (OK, I do), but in their love of that unexpected find, or what they – and I – call ‘treasure’.

When I was a wee lad back in Canada I used to love to treasure hunt. I still have boxes of old coins, shiny metal bits, sparkly rocks that I was convinced were diamonds, and other bric-a-brac that caught my attention whilst out playing. I once found a $20 bill and thought myself the richest kid on the block. Since that time my ‘hunting’ has evolved somewhat – pouring through antique shops, used article stores, online marketplaces and such. I don’t have a particular focus – e.g. art or silverware or porcelain figurines – and I don’t necessarily buy whatever strikes my fancy. Sometimes, though, something will catch my eye, something unique, with an unknown but intimate history, something that I just need to have.

What is even more satisfying is the completely unexpected find; stumbling across something that is just too awesome to pass up, when there was no intent or expectation involved – like finding a $20 bill on the street. This is a rare occurrence, of course, which only makes it all the more exciting when it happens. I haven’t come across much sidewalk flotsam during my time in Stockholm, outside of a few random coins and a single mitten that now hangs on the tree outside our apartment. I have, however, discovered one area that is often teeming with discarded awesomeness: our garbage room.

Last year I came up for a quick visit after Jill had moved in, and one fine morning found a perfectly functioning Singer sewing machine, cast metal with ornate gold inlay, on an oak table with a working treadle and still holding a needle and thread. Using the engraved serial number we were able to date it to 1905. Since that time we’ve collected an Ikea armchair, a 5′x3′ mirror, two hand-carved and ornately painted end tables, Christmas lights, ceramic pots, a hand-carved upholstered chair, 5 signed pieces of art, a key rack, computer speakers (with a bangin’ subwoofer), a digital camera, a computer bag, and several other bits and pieces that escape my memory. These required no digging through refuse or ‘dumpster diving’; they were left out, to be hauled away by either garbage collectors or some lucky person who could find a use for what otherwise would become landfill. Some are definitely valuable – like the sewing machine and the artwork – while others are simply functional, aesthetically appealing, or a useful substitute for what we’d have bought on our own. We’ve thusly termed the garbage room the Treasure Room, and are actually disappointed when we come back empty handed.

Of course, we live in Östermalm, a fairly well-heeled area of Stockholm; it follows, then, that the quality of discarded household items would be fairly high. Truth be told, our apartment is the size of a closet, and we don’t own one of the Audis or Beemers or Subarus parked out front. We’re working stiffs with bus passes, on a budget and rather frugal with our kronor. To periodically stumble upon a beautiful, interesting, or simply useful knickknack that some kind soul has left for our discovery is an exciting thing, one that sends us scampering back to our apartment with our new-found treasure and the inevitable question of “now where the hell are we going to put THIS?” And it makes me wonder about all of the other buildings on our street, or those behind us, or those within walking distance; if we’ve found all of this in our Treasure Room, what other finds lie hidden only a few steps away?

Early on I was incredibly impressed with Stockholm’s approach to ‘garbage’ – its separation of paper, cardboard, plastic, metal, coloured and clear glass, etc. Our garbage room alone has about 10 different bins for every conceivable form of refuse. But what I really like, of course, is that some of it never ends up being hauled away by burly folks in cover-alls and dumped in the countryside. Some of it ends up in someone else’s house, refurbished, re-used, and re-loved. I’m still waiting for the day that someone leaves the keys to one of the aforementioned Audis or Beemers; or even a simple pedal bike (hint hint). Until then, though, I keep hunting – and hoping – for treasure.

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At home in a foreign land

Thursday, December 3rd, 2009

A few days ago I wandered Stockholm, taking random photos in the foggy twilight and generally just enjoying a chilled, late-autumn afternoon. The old buildings, cobblestone laneways, quaint little parks sandwiched in between stunning architecture and meandering traffic; the lights that twinkled in windows and doorways and festive trees surrounded by young families and squealing children; on the waterfront, with creaking old boats and the straining mooring ropes, a chill wafting in from the bay and the fading skyline disappearing into the darkening mist.

There have been many times – whether out on a wander, or heading in to work, or on the subway, or sitting in some late night café, that a sudden realization pierces through and snaps me into a sharp-focused reality: I live in Stockholm. Rationally, I know this. But there are times where the magnitude of that reality hits home, and I picture a big map of the globe, with a little push-pin inserted somewhere over Stockholm with a flag noting “You are here.” Coming from a relatively obscure city in Canada (more often it’s easier to just say I live close to Toronto), at times it still amazes me that somehow, inexplicably, I find myself surrounded by strange accents, foreign words, captivating sights that seem lifted from an old Bergman film. Europe – at least this little corner – is not foreign anymore; it’s home.

I lived in Dubai for a few years, and frequently had the same, sudden thought: How the hell did I end up in the Middle East? I could look out  my office window and see the Burj Dubai, recently crowned the world’s tallest tower and an icon of the UAE’s ambitions; or drive down Jumeirah Beach Road and see the Burj Al Arab, arguably the first icon of Dubai and easily its most recognizable structure thus far. Had I traveled there for a vacation, seeing those identifying symbols of architectural achievement would be awe-inspiring and amazing, but wouldn’t stop me in my tracks. I’d expect to see them, just as I expected to see the pyramids of Giza, the Rock of Gibraltar, the Basilica in Barcelona, or even simple windmills in Holland, a chocolate shop in Belgium, the Rockies in Alberta, or an ice road in Yellowknife. They are temporary sights to behold, to photograph, to check off the list of things I want to see; but it’s a completely different sensation to realize that these things aren’t attractions per se – they’re in your backyard, things you pass on your way to work, almost inconspicuous against the greater backdrop of life. It’s those times – like seeing these images for the first time again – that reality hits and I realize I live here now.

Sometimes it’s not even a particular building or monument or postcard-famous sight. Sometimes it’s just a feeling, a general surrounding, a vibe in the streets. A couple of weeks ago Jill and I spent the day in Gamlastan, milling through the throngs, browsing print stores and window shopping, strolling through the Christmas market, getting lost in the alleys. At one point in the evening I was sitting on a set of steps, looking out over a crowded square lined with age-old homes, candles flickering in the windows, random faces glowing with seasonal cheer (and no small amount of glögg, I’m sure), and it hit me: I live in Stockholm. This is still a foreign country to me, a mystery to be enjoyed, explored; a cultural milieu that was only ever accessible on grainy war-era movies or tourist brochures, distant and seemingly contrived, but with an inviting aspiration of what life might be like.

But it’s here, it’s real, I’m here and still amazed at that fact. I don’t want to lose that random sensation, but with time and increased familiarity I fear it’s only inevitable. Until then I’ll keep staring up at the buildings, through soft-lit windows, at passing faces and crowded squares and sidewalk cafes and darkened pubs and cobblestones and archways and rolling parks and 3pm sunsets, at times amazed, at times lost in mundane thought, at times just trying to get home, and at times – when I’m lucky enough – realize that this is home. And then I’ll smile.

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