Apparently, May is Zombie Awareness Month. Amongst the other auspicious holidays and observances – such as Fungal Awareness Month, International Audit Month, and Heal The Children Month (is it wrong to hope that April is Smack-The-Little-Brats-Around Month?) – May is dedicated to spreading awareness, preparedness, and shit-a-brickedness about all things ‘zombie’.
Zombies have certainly taken firm root in our sociocultural zeitgeist over the past decade. Sure, there are many references to zombies prior to Y2K – MJ’s Thriller, the classic Night of the Living Dead, Abe Vigoda, even all those stubborn buggers in the bible who just refused to stay dead; but the past 10 years has seen the hordes of reanimated corpses trudge slowly but steadily into the forefront of our collective consciousness, a reverse-gentrification of society that survived the millennial apocalypse only to face-off against brain-starved automatons in tattered clothes and questionable hygiene. To wit: Amazon.com lists 5,493 books about zombies, but only 4,956 about Obama and, shamefully, only 3,305 about Winnie the Pooh. Similarly, Google tracks 35.2 million pages about zombies, but only 18.9 million about Gandhi. Most terrifyingly, however, it brings up 84.1 million pages about Lady Gaga. Personally I’d rather face a metric ass-load of zombies than that toxic train wreck. But I digress…
The point is, zombies – be it the cultural myth, the passing fascination, or the impending apocalyptic pandemic – are here and one needs to be prepared. So it’s fitting that May, long considered the month of renewal, is Zombie Awareness Month… and Fungal Awareness Month, but there’s probably a cream for that, so I wouldn’t worry too much. But there is no cream for zombies, no doctor-prescribed pill that can make the scourge of undead ne’er-do-wells go away. They’re relentless, persistent, invasive, wholly unpleasant, difficult to avoid, nasty to see, horrible to hear, and quite possible offensive to smell…
Hmmm… Are we certain Lady Gaga isn’t a zombie?
Kaity says you are not very alphabetical, her words not mine.
And yes, Lady Gaga is definately a zombie. A brainwashing, bloodsucking zombie.
Luvs yaaaa
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