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Archive for the ‘Creative Non-Fiction’ Category

I’ve bought a Swedish Police car!

Monday, September 3rd, 2012

swedsih police car

This is a TRUE detective story. Yes! I’ve purchased a vintage model, and I’ve cracked a mystery at the same time. It may seem strange that it’s a Ford, when we are more used to seeing Volvos etc. In fact, the Swedish Police have used a whole variety of cars since wayback. It is a Ford Zephyr 6 Mk III. I believe only a small number were purchased, brought in part-built and assembled at the SAAB plant in Trollhättan. The Mk III only had a short run from 1962 – 1966, with only 105,256 made.

O.K. I’ll come clean. When I say it’s a model, it really is that. A model on 1:43 scale. But it is in mint condition and authentic to the period. Very wisely, the previous owner has kept this away from kids’ hands. So mine has the original wing mirrors intact (missing, you will observe in this photograph). I got it cheap off a stall on the market, for 5 English pounds sterling. It’s worth more, but the stallholder was impressed that I knew about its provenance, on what he believed to be a German police car. If it had been in it’s original box, it would have been worth nearer 30 to 40 GBP.

For 5 quid it’s provided me with a lot of fun researching the background. Of particular interest is the livery. The black and white markings are correct for the period. In fact these original police cars were painted with a white top. They were re-sprayed black, after complaints from police forces in Northern Sweden that they could potentially ‘disappear’ in a snowdrift, and not be visible to police helicopters etc.

You see correct examples of the B&W cars in the film of ‘Let The Right One In’ set in 1981. The police livery was changed to white and blue from 1985. Then from 2005 the familiar blue and flourescent yellow ‘Battenburg’ livery was adopted. You see examples of both of the latter as they are phased in, as seen in the Swedish (Henriksson) ‘Wallander’ TV series. The ‘Battenburg’ pattern was actually NOT designed to reflect the colours of the Swedish national flag. An attempt to solve an old problem. The odd geometric configuration was actually ‘designed-in’ by research psychologists, to maximise visibility. In an odd ‘twist-of-fate’ the configuration has been re-imported to many of the U.K. police forces.

So, what became of this Swedish police car? The Zephyr was judged a bit ‘lightweight’ for Swedish requirements and wasn’t re-ordered. It may have been hardy enough for English Pennine police forces, but not reliable enough for Swedish winter weather conditions. It was in use around Stockholm and Göteborg in the south of Sweden, but was consigned to routine traffic duties. Far from the heady ‘cop-chase’ action thrills as seen on the 1960’s BBC groundbreaking gritty police drama of ‘Z-cars’ where the Ford Zephyrs of the title, were as much characters, as the actors.

At this point, the last part of my mystery puzzle started to fall in place. Why such an unrepresentative version of a Swedish police car? The toy I have is one of a limited edition of 2,300 produced for the ‘Police Cars of The World Series’ by Vanguard/ Corgi. The answer to why Valiant chose this model, is that they already had the die-castings as they also produced a West Yorkshire police version, so they just needed to make a few adjustments (note it is left hand drive) and change the livery.

So a slightly ignoble ending to a story of valiance. But, for 5 quid, this toy model has provided me with much joy, and more of a ‘do-it-yourself’ detective story than many a ‘Nordic Noir’ paperback!

K.M.

on duty

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TWO VIEWS FROM UTØYA

Sunday, July 31st, 2011

null

INSIDE THE MIND OF A KILLER 

Inside my mind there is sure perfect calm
Before the storm that will surely come
For ‘I’/'me’ will be the Eye of the Storm
‘The Cleansing’ you need in ME is Born 

For every Crusade, yes that always rages
Throughout History’s yellowed pages
We say ‘Cometh the Man cometh the Hour’
And, I now must such innocence deflower

She kneeled before me, begged for mercy
I smiled, ‘Your re-formation is my duty’
I knelt, and smelled her hair so clean so fresh
Then put the final bullet through her flesh

I write so much my hands now are cramped
A thousand pages of my own ‘Mein Kampf’
So lock me in some Norwegian Landsberg
It’s all Power to me, the immovable iceberg

What wondrous works will I then produce?
A generation’s minds I will then seduce
I will feed deep down on their feeble brains
For I am THE Hero of the New-Volk domain

‘Eloi, Eloi ?’ I say  ‘Lama Sabach Thanni?’
Papa, Papa,  It was YOU deserted ME
On the Streets of London, I was betrayed
And now, here I am, the spawn of your seed

THE ISLAND

Death, came paid a visit to the island today
Death, came here and took our lives away
Death, came here, a wolf in sheeps clothing
Death, came to satiate his own self-loathing

Death, please pause, cause I’m only fifteen
Death, you lock the slugs into the magazine
Death, is it two wrongs don’t make a right?
Death, please tell me if I’m wrong or right?

Death, tell me just before you pull the trigger
Death, you see me as one more white nigger?
Death, you have family and friends yes, true?
Death, you kill me and you shoot yourself too

Death heard, however he would not relent
Death has a Christian soul but so impenitent
Death’s manhood lies flagging so impotent
Death’s Nazi-ism only that of a malcontent

Death, came paid a visit to the island today
Death, a coward didn’t take his own life away
Death, killed innocence, brought us to a head
Death, we’re remembered, you are long dead

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ADAGIO IN G MINOR: A Euro-Musical Mystery story

Thursday, May 26th, 2011

Illustration by Victoria Frances

This is a real life ’cold’ case. Perhaps you can help to resolve it? Your input is valued. This is taken from my own libretto developed from the work. Arrangements vary slightly. This is my own setting to ‘Adagio per flauto; Archi ed organo’ Gunilla Von Bahr & Stockholms Kammerenensemble.

Albinoni’s ‘Adagio in G minor’ is a well-loved but doomy, piece of music. The natural assumption being that it was written by the Venetian composer Tomaso Albinoni. Those who search further may be aware that it is often credited as composed by Remo Giazotto, a 20th century musicologist. Sometimes it is represented as ‘arranged by Giazotto’.

The confusion arises over Giazotto’s claim that the composition is founded on his own detective work in making sense of a fragment of manuscript. This, it was claimed was recovered from the State Library in Dresden, shortly after the cessation of hostilities in World War II. This rather conflicted with findings that though the building had been destroyed by Allied bombing, the armed forces had managed to salvage most of its collection.

Key dates circulate around the year ’8’. Attention being focussed on the year 1948, and the questioning of some of the assumptions set out by Giazotto. Purportedly written by Albinoni in 1708. Giazotto copyrights the work and it is published in in 1958. He dies in 1998, never having produced his claimed evidence.

Since then, research has concluded that this piece never existed in the Saxon State Library. Questions, but few answers. Why not stand by, and claim the original as his own? Why the subterfuge? Perhaps an eclectic combination of forensic science, human psychology, artistic reconstruction, and musical intuition, can resolve this unsolved mystery?

What do you think?

ADAGIO

(Organ/ Bass intro)

And when I feel the darkness
Rest heavy on my shoulder
There is nothing to compare
But only to stand and stare
In my own eyes revealed
Even, so ..

So what is, what is, what is love?
Love?
And what is warmth?
Without a soul?
I do not know
I do not know
I do not know

(Organ/ Bass passage)

Even the coldest snow-winds
They will not chill my heartstrings
There is only love in my heart
And nothing can turn me blue
And all this, it must be true
It, is true.

For even in the darkest night
I, still sense your light
Am drawn to it
What am I to do
What am I to do
What am I to do?

(Flute lead over string chord sequences)
(Orchestral section/ organ passage)
(Organ/ Bass intro reprise)

Oh what is love without you?
Without the light I’m blinded
Without your own light to guide me?
I sink into the pit of gloom

Oh
Give me the keys
Unlock your very own soul
Let me in and warm my heart

(Flute/ organ/ orchestral interlude)

So turn away!
Turn away, turn away

I am alone, I am alone!
I am alone
I am alone
I am alone

Go turn away, go turn away
Turn away, turn away
Turn away,
Turn me away

Alone!
Damned!
Go home!
Gone in darkness
Light, surpasses

All ….
All, is one now!
All, is gone now!
All, is gone
Truthfully
Truthfully
Truthfully
I am gone

(Flute section/ finale)

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Half Mad, Half Biscuit: The Fika Blues

Tuesday, March 15th, 2011

FIKA!

To anyone from Sweden, washed up in the U.K. you know that you have to fight for your right to … fika! Although most ordinary workers enjoy tea-breaks, for many in office employment it is regarded as most disloyal to leave your desk for a break. Much better, it is considered, to precariously balance a plastic coffee machine cup near your paperwork, and risk getting crumbs and flakes of food lodged in your keyboard.

Using subterfuge to leave the office, ‘delivering post’, ‘checking our rivals shopfront windows ’etc is a necessary skill-set for being able to break out for fika. Sadly, too often that means sitting in an overpriced ‘Italian-style’ chain café with a bitter cup of coffee, and for company? How about a ‘Linzer’ biscuit?

I’m not a great fan of the Linzer biscuit. Essentially two discs of sawdust compacted together with jam. Far too unwieldy for dunking in your coffee, as well. This however is not the main point of this rant. To really ruin your fika consider the odd-pricing policy, then choke on your coffee.

The annoying thing is that ‘Linzers’ are for purposes of Value Added Tax (VAT) classified by the Eurocracy as ‘cakes’ rather than ‘biscuits.’ They are therefore taxed as a luxury if consumed on café premises, rather than take-away. Hello Brussels, yes you, wake up at the back there. The clue is in the word Linzer BISCUIT. Got it yet? a rehab B-I-S-C-U-I-T?  No, no, no!

Far too simple for the European Union bureaucrats. They probably had to have an all-expenses paid committee of enquiry. Munching away and determining  the correct breed classification of the Linzer Biscuit. As Marie Antonette their heroine didn’t say: “Let them eat biscuits”. Look guys, it really is this simple. It’s a BISCUIT. Got that?  Not to be confused with the far more upmarket ‘Linzertorte’. Now THAT is a cake. Word association time. Brussels – Brussel sprouts – flatulence – Brussels, HQ of the European Union bureaucracy. Neat.

So, if you really want to risk breaking E.U. Law? You can purchase a coffee AND a Linzer biscuit. But pay for the biscuit as ‘take-away’ and avoid the VAT penalty. If you nibble the biscuit on the premises then you are breaking the law. You can have a last swig of coffee and as you go out, shove the whole biscuit in your mouth. Providing you don’t swallow before you get out of the door, you are street legal. In the U.K. having fika is really a subversive activity.

The Linzer is named after it’s city of origin, Linz in Austria. So what else is Linz famous for? It’s the old stomping ground of Adolf Hitler. They keep rather quiet about this association.  It’s a nice enough city, I’ve been there. I didn’t expect a statue but was disappointed that I couldn’t find a monumental plaque, not even a signposted historic route, nor Blue Badge guides offering an ‘Adolf Hitler Town Trail’. I guess the temptation to yell ‘Walk this way!’ would be too much. Goosestepping aside, Hitler may have been defeated, but his spirit is alive and well and living inside the E.U. bureaucracy. Celebrate the fact at your UK fika with a Linzer biscuit, ooops sorry ‘biscuit (cake)’

‘The question is,’ said Alice, ‘whether you can make words mean so many different things.’

‘The question is,’ said Humpty Dumpty, ‘which is to be master – that’s all.’

[Maybe first in a series of articles on Swedish adaptation to living in the U.K.?]

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Blog Update: Boston Blatte

20 May 15:25

Hockey. Hockey. Hockey. »

"BANG!!!! BANG!!!! BANG!!! In the midst of the Stanley Cup’s Eastern Conference semifinals series, every Bostonian knows it is all about Bruins ice hockey. Oh right. I am in Sweden, home of the 2013 International Ice Hockey Federation GOLD Champions. And there is certainly no doubt ice hockey fever has taken over Sweden. A lot of Swedes,..." READ »

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