(edit title) Swedes and their lack of basic manners Another whinge Options

[Wes]

What is it with this country that they can have a raging debate about a meaningless sop of a word like "hen" but basic manners seems to be a concept that most Swedes ... (show full quote)

What is it with this country that they can have a raging debate about a meaningless sop of a word like "hen" but basic manners seems to be a concept that most Swedes are immune too? For a long time I just took it as a cultural difference but I can't see why "Excuse me" is somehow alien to Swedish culture. They're amongst the rudest race of people I think I've ever come across. Lets give you some examples of shyte I dealt with in the last two weeks alone:

1. Job interview. This knob who owns the place is having a chat with a college when I walk into this tiny narrow entrance with no seating. He doesn't even introduce himself to me. Like an awkward twat I have to stand there, with them, before he asks me who I am and what I want. Then after introducing myself and saying I'm here for the interview you called me last night at 10pm about, he just tells me to wait there, in the narrow seatless hall, while he continues his chat about GAIS. I didn't get the job, and I still haven't heard back from them either way. I only found out I didn't get it because I know the man who did. Whats funny is during the interview this idiot was talking to me about customer service and politeness and all I could think about was maybe you should start with yourself.

2. Myself and my son walking into a restaurant. Some lemon faced cow sitting in the doorways scowls at me "do you want to go in?" "yup" I said. She literally yells at me that I "borde prata". Fucks sake. Maybe you shouldn't be sitting in door ways.

3. My son is queuing for an ice cream at one of those kiosks. FAMILIES are literally going over him. I walked three families and one couple do it before I said excuse me, he's been standing there for 10 mins. They looked at me like I'm an arsehole. No wonder swedes need to take a number. They don't know how to behave when they're given free reign. I think the government are onto something good there. More numbers please.

4. On the bus with my daughter in her pram, packed with people, two other prams next to me. When it comes time for me to get off, waiting for the bus to stop, some cow asks me in the most horrid way am I getting off. Yes, I say, well another I "borde prata". I asked her why, what would she have done differently if I'd spoken up literally 5 seconds faster. she mumbles some incomprehensible gibberish and I leave.

5. Bus again. Watched an old lady on a packed bus clinging on for dear life and no one offering her a seat. Young or old, man, woman or child. No one. I was at the first front, she was near the back so I couldn't. But I watched her get off the bus and she wobbled, obviously had hip or leg problems and then she falls. she just vanished from the window and only two people got off the bus - me and another obviously foreign woman. As I was helping her up, the whole bus is jus standing there, eye balling the thing. I couldn't believe my fucking eyes. Loads of them must have seen her fall by the time I pushed my way through them to get off the bus and pick this lady up.

Now, I know we all have our fair share of uncivilised ill mannered hogs, but they're in the majority in this country. That's undeniable. You can easily spot the swede whose lived abroad, particularly in the british isles. They understand the importance of having basic manners. Don't parents here teach their children the value of "thank you", "excuse me""may I" "sorry" etc or is it all meaningless wibbling about hen and hon and han?

Cue the swedophiles. ... (hide full quote)

Because this only happens in Sweden?

I am a Britt and I can tell you, take your rose coloured glasses off, the UK, US and every counties has it problems and they are not getting better!

When I am in the UK I can't wait to leave this dirty, crime filled racist country!

Do you have some points that people are more reserved, yes they are! Most Swedes I know find the whole Hen thing a joke

But how often do you see pictures of old people in the UK beaten up or raped and their money stolen, or what about the London riots and the fug culture?

I will take Sweden any day thanks, I have even started liking systembolaget 

[Svensksmith]

"I have even started liking systembolaget."

You're a goner, then.

[Wes]

haha, maybe your right!

Been here too long, and know this country won’t change to suit me!

Here is a read that I would recommend to all you people who seem to get eaten up by the small stuff!

http://www.dontsweat.com/dont-sweat-the-small-stuff-book

[BeckyJL]

I'm not really an alcohol drinker... Too Burny for my tastes... Like drinking bleach but slightly fruity or sugary or just plain bleachy... Depending on the type etc etc. My point is that I don't get systembolaget- I find the whole thing odd.

I do disagree with many of the points here. But I knew I would, reading the title.

I must admit that people do like bumping into me here :/ though they are not always as rude as people in the UK about it. I was once trudging through london with a super heavy case when a pre-madona 'barbie doll' was walking behind me and shouted 'move! I promptly stopped, turned around to face her and didn't move an inch... Forcing her to move into those walking about me (I know I was upsetting the flow but I refuse to be spoken to like that by anyone who isn't a two yo child.)

I've not had any experiences like that in Sweden yet! I think the point that I am trying to make is that people are rude everywhere

But! I did get punched (not pinched if you wonder there's been a spelling error ) in the bottom by some crazy woman while I was on the train near Stockholm a month ago. I was so shocked I wasn't sure what to do! She punched me in the bottom! I'm not sure why she did that Perhaps she was crazy and/or perverted... I'm not sure O.o

People are rude the world over, I'm just happy not to have been assaulted by chavs yet! There don't seem to be as many in Sweden as there are in he UK

[Garry Jones]

Ever forgotten to buy an item in the supermarket? You run back in and pick up the litre of milk. Just as you get to the cashier someone with a months load of shopping runs and slots in their overfull trolley between you and the cashier and immediately starts throwing their stuff on the belt.

Not saying England is a better place to live but we do have an inbuilt understanding of good manners and waiting your turn.

[Flutterbye]

I have been to Sweden many times and do not think the Swedes are impolite at all.
Of course there are cultural differences like not offering refreshments when ariving at someones house, this is frowned upon here in the Uk as it implys you are not welcome but no probs, when visiting someone I know I discovered they are quite happy fir me to make my own drink so I always take tea bags and make my own.
I hasten to say I would never do this if I didn't know the ppl I was visiting, that would be rude.

[elk200]

Ever forgotten to buy an item in the supermarket? You run back in and pick up the litre of milk. Just as you get to the cashier someone with a months load of shopping runs and ... (show full quote)

Ever forgotten to buy an item in the supermarket? You run back in and pick up the litre of milk. Just as you get to the cashier someone with a months load of shopping runs and slots in their overfull trolley between you and the cashier and immediately starts throwing their stuff on the belt.

Not saying England is a better place to live but we do have an inbuilt understanding of good manners and waiting your turn. ... (hide full quote)

I can happily report that on more than one occasion similar to that, simply asking the Swede before me in the queue if I could go first with only one or two items has done the trick.

[gplusa]

Yes, I've had people ask me if I would mind if they went ahead of me because they only had one item. They've always been very polite about it, so I've never had a problem in letting them in. I don't think I have a sign on my back, so it can't be that uncommon. Most Swedes shy away from direct confrontation, so asking to pop in front is unlikely to be challenged.

[burlison]

Whenever we travel in Sweden, my Swedish wife observes the rudeness and points it out to me, so I don't feel like I'm "piling on" by affirming what a lot of others have said. Personally, I love doing the following: when a Swede just shoves you aside in a shop or train station or wherever, follow them and start talking to them. I say pleasantly and politely, "hey, you shoved a three-year old/stepped on my foot/whatever..you can just say 'excuse me' next time" and the mortified look on their faces is absolutely priceless. Their eyes shoot to the ground and they look like they're about to burst.

I wonder if the rudeness comes from the fact that since the state is so pervasive in people's lives, manners - which used to hold society together - are secondary? If I step on your foot and you hurt your toe, or your kid falls down and needs stitches, the state (and the taxes of the person(s) in question) paying for whatever mayhem I cause - trips to the doctor, excuse to leave work to take care of foot/hurt child/whatever so why would I care about something old-fashioned like manners?

[byke]

I would be really interested to see if this behavior is specific to certain areas of Sweden?
In the past Stockholm has always been such a place where manners are in short supply, but I am finding that as the city changes over time we are seeing an insurgence of past values being brought back into vogue.

Many people will be the first to comment when I mention anything negative, but I am finding more and more that the way I am treated by swedes and other nationals is much different if I speak english confidently as I would as a native than any attempt of Swedish.

I think there is an almost an automatic acceptance of manners and behavior that stockholmers associate with manners and that of being non swedish, and its something they actually like. As its not a perception that is greeted with scepticism.

However - To achieve such values, regardless of race or language we need to lead by example. I had a door held open for me today and I graciously thanked the person in English and it was like a light had been turned on. His expression and demeanor automatically changed when I replied "Thankyou very much, much appreciated". And you could here it took him by surprise but in a positive way by his response and character change and even his posture changed as he stumbled over his surprise to reply "you are very welcome".

Again, lead by example.
The only way that such manners will be interpreted is negative is if people only criticize when manners are not extended. But if the emphasis is on that of doing the right thing instead with maybe even a little cheeky banter just to show you acknowledge the other person without being a threat (example : "There you go") it can lead to a much more pleasant enviroment around you.

[Garry Jones]

It starts at a young age. Visit any day care, nursery or infant school. Observe the children playing. When they are called in (buzzer/bell/teacher's voice) they all aim for the door at the same time. Somone gets a foot in, another an arm and slowly buy surely the squeeze in. Same when the kids get older and wait for a bus outside the school. The bus comes and the kids who have been milling around now all converge on the door at the same time.

Unsure of the state of things in the UK now as I emigrated here (and feel I am all the better for it) in 1988.

However back in my day we lined up in an orderly fashion and were allowed into school when the teacher was satisfied we were in line. Bus drivers would have gone by the stop if there was not a proper queue there.

We stood up when another teacher came into the classroom, I gather this is not done in Sweden. We learned respect from an early age. I do wonder if the UK has lost some of this (anyone know?) but you have to question when Sweden lost it as their school kids are shown to be orderly in the old b+w films of the 50's.

[skogsbo]

I can happily report that on more than one occasion similar to that, simply asking the Swede before me in the queue if I could go first with only one or two items has done the trick.

I been let ahead a few times, once with just a few things, another time, I leapt 2 places because I had an ice lolly (dark chocolate coated ) without asking or prompting.

I would be really interested to see if this behavior is specific to certain areas of Sweden?

Well in Smäland, they are quite civilised. But we are quite rural, but in the local town. People tend to queue and chat, let each other in front in the supermarket etc. But then, everyone knows someone who knows you, so you could soon become isolated if you started pi$$ing folk off.

It starts at a young age. Visit any day care,

Dagis here is quite polite, they line up, they walk in pairs when out etc. School, dont know yet.