(edit title) Job Offer - Moving from UK to Sweden with Fiance And little one, advice sought Options

[sam_justice]

Hey guys,

So I've been offered a once in a lifetime job in Stockholm, a huge thing that I'm desperate to take.
My fiance and her little one (father isn't interested in the child so I've taken the role of the father figure) are looking at moving.

It's taken quite some convincing to get her to the stage where she's ready to move. It's not for another 3 months but now I'm worried that she might really dislike it and then the family life would be spoilt. We've met with relocation people who state they'd be able to find her a job quite easily - I don't know if they're just trying to sell us on Sweden though.

I want to ask for families who have moved -
How likely (honestly) is she going to find work? She's never been a careeraholic and has had small jobs she has enjoyed to see her through financially. We were looking at either her becoming a daycare mum, or something similar to what she has done over here (looking after stables). Is something like this hard to find in Sweden?
How have spouses adapted to the country? (I know this differs on a person to person basis, but it's still interesting to read)
What can we honestly expect about the lifestyle? We love the life/work balance that has been presented, as back in the UK it's pretty bad.
(I know this is based on the area but) Are there a lot of activities and things to do in Winter? The one thing I'm worried about is her being unable to find work, being trapped inside in a dark winter without anything to do and no family around. Just small activity centres/swimming pools, stuff to fill the time, is there a lot of that over there?

We're going to fly out again soon to get a better idea, as we only spent 2 days there and most of them were filled with meetings and relocation tours.

Thanks in advance for any responses

[JLondon]

Very difficult for your fiance to get a job in Sweden.

1) You need to speak Swedish fluent (3 years on average it take to learn fluently)
2) Jobs are hard to come by
3) Do not think of Sweden as better then Canada, UK, Germany etc etc because they like to "sell" the idea that it is.

I wish you the best of luck

[byke]

What Jlondon said ...

I have seen more people come and go, than come and stay.
It's tough, and given the situation I don't think you have much chance of it working out.

[skogsbo]

be prepared for a bit of work settling, but if you have kid/s then overall Sweden will or is much better than the UK.

[California Girl]

This is really tough to predict. It simply depends too much on the individual personality.

First, about the job: Getting a job will be very tough; I am a career oriented person with advance degrees, and it took me 3 years to land a job in my field. Learning the language is crucial and takes time. Having said that, I made good use of those three years by taking the time to learn the language and the system (figuring out how things worked for the kids, such as medical stuff, school, parental leave, sick leave, etc.). It turned out to be very useful for us that one of us had the time to really focus on understanding all of the ins and outs of the system. The Swedish system is not especially complicated, but it just does take time to figure out these sorts of things in a new country. All-in-all, those first few years without me having a job turned out to be very valuable for us as a family and quite enjoyable for me. If you can afford it on the proposed salary, it's something to consider.

Activities: If you end up in one of the larger cities (Stockholm, Göteborg, Malmö, etc.), there are quite a lot of activities available for parents at home with small children, as well as fairly active ex-pat communities that often organize playgroups, outings, get-togethers, etc. Depending on the age of the child, the öppna förkola ("open preschool", basically also like a playgroup) may be an option as well. These are usually run by the local community and have set hours for the get-togethers. Most towns and cities also have swimming pools with a lot of options, including swimming lessons for children. Depending on the age of the child, he/she may be eligible for a spot in a local daycare/preschool for 15 hours per week (usually from age 4, but sometimes earlier, depending on the local community rules). Fwiw, I grew up in California and found plenty to do in winter; one just has to be a bit creative and willing to brave the blast of cold sometimes (mostly, one has to be properly dressed :-)).

Lifestyle: for couples with kids, work-life balance really does tend to be very good here. There are a lot of things built into the system that allows families to cope more effectively with the daily juggle, including things like leave for care of sick children, a very well structured parental leave, quite easy access to affordable, decent (to sometimes amazing, depending) daycare, after school care that is automatically built into the school system, etc. We've lived in a variety of countries with kids, and quite honestly Sweden has been far and away the easiest for us when it comes to finding work-life balance, especially with two fairly demanding jobs. We also like the fact that the pace of life is slower here, though admittedly that may drive other people nuts. For us, the general lifestyles suits our personalities and preferences, but that may not be true for everyone.

Adaption: this is the most unpredictable bit. Everything can look absolutely brilliant on paper, and turn out to be a disaster in real life. I think this depends nearly entirely on personality and the level of interest in adapting to a new environment. We've lived in a variety of countries (with extremely different cultures) over the years, and adapted reasonably well to each and every one of them by the end. However, adaption required at least 2 years (for us), and a solid effort to come to terms with and accept the local mind-set. Not everyone has the time, patience, or desire to do this.

[chazza]

excellent post California Girl !

[skogsbo]

yes, well balanced indeed. I should add that if you are both working, the state HAS to provide a dagis/nursery place for your child/ren. If one of you isn't employed then the state isn't obliged to create a place by employing extra staff etc.. for your 15hrs a week. You would have to wait until a slot becomes available.
It is possible to get round this whilst job hunting, if they can get FSkatt (self employed status), it really depends on their field and if they can put together a reasonable convincing case for the tax people. Self employed stable help in the summer or caring for peoples horses/pets when they go on holiday, is quite plausible and might actually provide a 'real' time business opportunity. Paying for hired help through an agency in Sweden to look after stables or farm animals whilst on holiday is extremely expensive. Most farmers try and find someone they trust to take turns, or simply don't holiday!

[California Girl]

I should add that if you are both working, the state HAS to provide a dagis/nursery place for your child/ren. If one of you isn't employed then the state isn't obliged ... (show full quote)

I should add that if you are both working, the state HAS to provide a dagis/nursery place for your child/ren. If one of you isn't employed then the state isn't obliged to create a place by employing extra staff etc.. for your 15hrs a week. You would have to wait until a slot becomes available. ... (hide full quote)

I forgot to mention that, thanks! When both have jobs (or study), a space has to be provided, but it may take a bit of time to find one, depending on what is locally available and what one prefers.

However, some kommuns will also go to a fair bit of effort to get foreign kids into the dagis/preschool system earlier rather than later. One friend of mine got a space (and quite quickly) for her 2.5 year old for 25 hours per week even though she wasn't working. The rational was that it was psychologically important for the child to ensure as early of exposure to Swedish as possible in order to have a smoother transition to school. Not every kommun does this, though.

[JulieLou40]

Hey guys,So I've been offered a once in a lifetime job in Stockholm, a huge thing that I'm desperate to take.My fiance and her little one (father isn't interested ... (show full quote)

Hey guys,

So I've been offered a once in a lifetime job in Stockholm, a huge thing that I'm desperate to take.
My fiance and her little one (father isn't interested in the child so I've taken the role of the father figure) are looking at moving.

It's taken quite some convincing to get her to the stage where she's ready to move. It's not for another 3 months but now I'm worried that she might really dislike it and then the family life would be spoilt. We've met with relocation people who state they'd be able to find her a job quite easily - I don't know if they're just trying to sell us on Sweden though.

I want to ask for families who have moved -
How likely (honestly) is she going to find work? She's never been a careeraholic and has had small jobs she has enjoyed to see her through financially. We were looking at either her becoming a daycare mum, or something similar to what she has done over here (looking after stables). Is something like this hard to find in Sweden?
How have spouses adapted to the country? (I know this differs on a person to person basis, but it's still interesting to read)
What can we honestly expect about the lifestyle? We love the life/work balance that has been presented, as back in the UK it's pretty bad.
(I know this is based on the area but) Are there a lot of activities and things to do in Winter? The one thing I'm worried about is her being unable to find work, being trapped inside in a dark winter without anything to do and no family around. Just small activity centres/swimming pools, stuff to fill the time, is there a lot of that over there?

We're going to fly out again soon to get a better idea, as we only spent 2 days there and most of them were filled with meetings and relocation tours.

Thanks in advance for any responses ... (hide full quote)

Work will be extremely hard for your fiance to find, especially as a child minder (I presume that's what you meant by daycare mum). After all, who would want their kids with a person who couldn't effectively communicate with the child? They just wouldn't. So, your girlfriend needs to start looking for things where language isn't such an issue, e.g cleaning, hotel chambermaid, that sort of thing. Not ideal, but it'll bring the cash in.

I've been here 2 years in a few months' time, and I don't have a job yet, but I've not really looked, because we had some family problems which emerged shortly after we moved here, and that took all my time and energy. Currently, my Swedish sambo supports us on his wage, and I admit it is very tight. So the more money you can get coming in, the better.

If you don't mind me asking, what is the wage for your new job? Because cost of living is a lot higher here in Sweden. Yes, daycare is very cheap, and in my experience, electricity bills can be a lot cheaper than the UK (maybe because we have a free tvättstuga for our flats), but the flip side is that we pay a lot more for food and other household essentials.

I am sure that in a city like Stockholm, finding activities won't be a problem. I believe that meet-ups are often mentioned on this board by other expats, which will be some light relief for you and your partner if the stress of the move is getting to you. Up here in Luleå, we have managed to get together an English Speakers Club of over 100 people, so if it can be done up here, I'm sure it's also thriving down in Stockholm!

Good luck

Edited to add: Maybe your partner could advertise herself as an English-speaking childminder, and that would get English-speaking families interested? Just a thought. However, I am sure there will be all sorts of registration procedures involved with the kommun first, which I don't really have any knowledge of.

[sam_justice]

Hey guys,

Thanks for all the advice, I'd be looking at around 34000sek a month before tax, although there is some wiggle room as the final numbers haven't been set.

We were told by our relocation agent that she'd be able to become a daycare mum quite easily or get a job in the stables. If we wanted to go about at least trying to get her to be a daycare mum, how do we go about doing it?

Thanks again

[roch]

http://www.arbetsformedlingen.se/yrkena-o;...d502730c1800072

http://www.utbildningssidan.se/info/barnsk...arnskotare.aspx
Read towards the bottom (use Google translate)
Utbildning till Barnskötare
Vilken utbildning krävs för att bli Barnskötare?

Barn- och fritidsprogrammet på gymnasieskolan (3 år) kan vara en lämplig utbildning om man vill inrikta dig mot arbete inom barnsomsorgen. Utbildning finns även inom Komvux på vissa orter.
Inom Komvux finns också eftergymnasial utbildning för barnskötare som har yrkeserfarenhet.

Also the section on what the future is looking like for this type of job.

It's not just someone deciding they are going to look after children who can do this job. Being a day mum has lots of rules and regulations and there is no way she is going to get work as one with Swedish children not being able to communicate with them.
Whoever told you this needs to give you more information about what they mean because I think they are giving you wrong information.

Or do they mean working as an assistant in a pre school/dagis/förskola?

[JulieLou40]

We were told by our relocation agent that she'd be able to become a daycare mum quite easily

That's a lie, frankly. Surely common sense dictates that you cannot easily become a childminder/dagmamma for children who speak a different language to yourself.

I would take what the relocation agent is telling you with a pinch of salt, frankly, because they have a vested interest in getting you to move.

[California Girl]

We were told by our relocation agent that she'd be able to become a daycare mum quite easily or get a job in the stables. If we wanted to go about at least trying to get h ... (show full quote)

We were told by our relocation agent that she'd be able to become a daycare mum quite easily or get a job in the stables. If we wanted to go about at least trying to get her to be a daycare mum, how do we go about doing it? ... (hide full quote)

I've got to agree with the others. I don't know what the relocation agent is thinking, but there is no way a non-Swedish speaker is going to walk into any daycare that I know of and get a job. The language issue alone is enough to knock her out the running (seriously, can't speak Swedish and should work with kids who only speak Swedish??). Also, the reality is that the regulations for working as a regular daycare person are fairly strict. They require a certain type and level of education, and they only recognize studies done in Sweden. They really don't just take anyone off the street.

Stable work may be rather different, but it's likely the lack of Swedish will hold her back a bit there as well. Less likely, but still possible...

[Yorkshireman]

We were told by our relocation agent that she'd be able to become a daycare mum quite easily or get a job in the stables. If we wanted to go about at least trying to get h ... (show full quote)

We were told by our relocation agent that she'd be able to become a daycare mum quite easily or get a job in the stables. If we wanted to go about at least trying to get her to be a daycare mum, how do we go about doing it? ... (hide full quote)

Challenge the relocation agent!

You have heard from just about everyone posting that it won't be easy to find a job. So, ask them to prove it, since You are hearing otherwise. Maybe they can set up interviews ready for Your next visit, since they say it is so easy!, it should be easy for them to do then.

(btw... don't forget to factor in Child Benefit into your economic calculations, that will still be paid )

[John.Smith]

Many who decide to relocate to Sweden do so because one of the partners is Swedish! In your instance you are asking your partner to move with you because of your career (I am assuming). This my friend is a recipe for disaster.. sorry not trying to be negative.

I have nothing to add to the good advice of the above posters except that you need to consider what is best for your partner, her child and you as a family unit. Moving here you will not have a network of friends or family and this places a major emotional strain on both of you. Sweden is a great place to live and I LOVE it here, but it took some time for things to fall into place and for me to feel like it was home... and we had moved to my wife's hometown and had friends and family here...

Stockholm is probably the best place to move to in terms of expat socializing. Make contact with the various facebook groups to introduce yourself and try to chat with couple who made a similar move and I am sure they will give you the low down of life for them.

if your fiancee is already feeling a bit nervous about the move then consider what her reaction will be when she is homesick, lonely and unemployed...

Sorry to be a downer but these are things you need to consider especially when there is a child involved.