(edit title) What's it like for kids? Will my child be able to play with other children Options

[Kaipa]

Having finally sold our flat in the UK we are now faced with the choice of whether we should move to sweden or stay put( nothing to do with PUT !!!).
My wife is Swedish and we both lived in Sweden about 8 years ago.

We have enough money to buy a small house in Sweden but not enough to get something big enough here in Edinburgh.

The thing is at the moment my 6 year old boy is out playing with the neighbours kids on the communal back green. It's a lovely sunny morning and it is nice to see him having such fun.

However my wife has just remarked that she doesn't think this type of thing would happen in Sweden. She feels that people don't like/allow their kids out so much and they don't want people just popping in and out of their houses.

In short she says we would be isolated and lonely and my child would find it hard to meet other kids outside of "Swedish institutions".

What do you think?

[byke]

who is contemplating the move, you or the wife ? and if so what appeals to the change?

[byke]

Also, from my understanding Edinburgh is not the cheapest city to buy property in.
So obviously other areas will offer cheaper sized accommodation.

The same way that a flat in Stockholm city could buy you a mansion in the sticks ....

So where in Sweden would you plan to look at moving to?

[David S]

We have a 6yr old and an 18 month old boy and recently bought a house in a village not far from Gävle. The local kids are always in and out of our house and playing together in the (big) yard, forest, and out in the (low traffic) streets. It's great!

A completely different experience to Stockholm!

[Kaipa]

Truth is we both want it sometimes and sometimes not. Funnily enough this month my wife is quite anti -Sweden. However this will probably change if "Euphoria" wins tonight!

Seriously it is very hard to decide. There are a lot of good things about life here (my kid playing with other kids, friends, freindly people, etc) However some days I'm faced with ignorant parents who see no problem in feeding their kids crisps, Irn-bru (If you not Scottish google it..)chocolate and watching TV all day and an education system that dictates the chances of my kid getting to university are slim unless we move to a good catchment area or pay.

I know that Sweden isn't without its own social problems. The thing is what I want to know is do people in smaller towns where there are neighbourhoods have all the children out playing with each other or is it the case that children only are with other children at school or after "lenghty" planning operations have been put in place ?

[Kaipa]

Byke- We would be thinking of moving to Hoganas ( can't find the Swedish letters!)
as we have cousins there.

David. Nice to know your kids are doing that. My wife says she understands your comments about Stockholm, she grew up there in a flat and didn't see her next door neighbour until she was 18!!! ( he came to the door with a commitee of people to ask her to turn her CD player down !!!) Anyway it is encouraging to hear how family lives.
Do you live in a flat or house?

[Kaipa]

David Yes, sorry, you live in a house

[Kaipa]

Byke It's true Edinburgh is pretty expensive and it is cheaper further outside but it really isn' t comparable in price, location and type of house you get in Sweden. £200 grand gets me a pebble-dashed semi in Dunfermiline with a rusty trampoline and enough sattelite dishes to pick signals from out of space ( hope I'm not making you home-sick !! )

[Cool Carib]

my husband is swedish and my son is 5 now, we moved here 2 years ago. this is monthly life for a family

1. the swedish kids don't play or speak to each other naturally,so less or no contact for a half swede
2. the teachers- 8 of them to 15 kids- spend their 8:30 til 11:20 worktime on mobile phones, drinking coffee- called`*ficka*
3. my boy got his teeth bashed in ( where teachers?= ficka) took some time out of ficka break to call my husband to expect seeing it when he picked our son up as i was in a coma in hospital that day with killer bacteria
4. my boy comes home with scratches all over his back and eyes
5. ficka teachers shouting, and yelling at children which i see and hear
6. all kids naked, completely naked in a plastic tub , while little Mikheal pissing in it and all swedish kids swimming
7. i did not send him there for 4 days and signed up for a private school in august
8. wednesday. the ficka teachers sent the social services to our home to question my little boy to ask if i am a good mummy<??

think of when you grew up and do you really want to subject your child to this everyday hell

[Kaipa]

Cool Carb Oh No. My wife is going crazy having read your reply. She wants to write to Radio Four (BBC), who just had a program last week about how great Swedish schools are, and get them to stop broadcasting this "Sweden is so great/UK is crap" stuff.

Seriously what you have decribed is our worst nightmare because we have heard stories similar to yours over the years and don't know what to believe. YOu must be so sad and hope things get better. Where do you live ? Do you feel there is an element of discrimination happening even with children?

My wife has now told me because of your experience she won't vote for Sweden tonight!

[byke]

I am very critical of many places, and am often referred to as "Swedish Bashing" on this forum.
As its usually a good way for those who feel threatened by my comments to try and find a way to discredit. So I will offer 1 import aspect of both positive and 1 negative and let you judge from there.

But my opinion is this.
If you are happy where you are then stay.

If I had to choose 1 pro and con regarding living in Sweden, I would say :

Pro : It is a safe and simple society without the social issues of lower classes and crimes that I have experienced in other nations, and this can make a day to day difference (although in Stockholm I can't say that many Swedes are very open in regards to socializing - and because of this reluctance to connect it could also be a reason why there isn't as much confrontation either).

Cons : Education and public services sector.
If you have a child, be very aware of the education system here along with other pubic sector services. I would say they are generally very poor and do not reflect the high taxes paid for them. But if you plan to live the rest of your life here and that of your child/children ... Then its a self contained bubble in many respects, as long as you are willing to assimilate and relinquish your past identity.

[Migga]

Kaipa if you think Cool Carbs description is the average swedish experience then perhaps it`s for the better that you stay put. It`s not the life of "a family", it`s the life of Cool Carbs family. Your wife seem to overreact for wanting to call out Sweden based on Cool Carbs story. I`ve never heard stories like that before and I`ve lived in Sweden for several years.

Kids play with eachother, no matter what country they are in. I`d say it`s extremly rare that you`d risk to get a killer bactaria and fall into a coma. The average family don`t get visits from social services. It`s also not the average experience that 8 teachers sit in the lunch room having fika and playing with their phones all day long while the kids swim in tubs of piss.

[Kaipa]

I take on board you opinions Byke. I know that this is a case of the grass being greener hence our constant failure to be able to make a decision. At the moment UK is looking better despite its failings. Things can be grim here at times but nothing like what Coolcarb described in Sweden.

I'm now banned from Hemnet

Give me some good news

[Darwinder]

Its different of course depending on where in Sweden you live. I am a foreign white guy from Canada, but my wife is Swedish and thus our daughter is "Swedish". She plays with other kids just fine. I cant comment on the education system myself as our daughter isnt there yet but I can say that Dagis is good so far, good amount of teachers to kids, they genuinely seem to care about the kids and they do a good job. Not to be racist or anything like that but my wife and I live in probably one of the most expensive areas of Gothenburg and thus the Dagis in our area is full of wealthier white kids with all white Dagis teachers, I am sure the area of town that you live in will very much so dictate the experience you have at Dagis. Sad but true of course, all kids deserve the same chance, to bad it doesnt work out like that. Saying that, our daughter is also going on the wait list for a top Montessori school, why should a parent do any less?

[Kaipa]

Migga Thanks. I know its just one experience it is just that I have read previous posts on here that seem to suggest similar things have happened in other places. You obviously remain sceptical about CC claims.