(edit title) Swedish children vv Swedish adults Is Sweden really so good for children? Options

[ingeling]

Hi!

I'm a Swedish woman married to an English guy and living in Edinburgh since about 8 years with our son who's now 6. We are pretty happy here but after having a child it feels almost inevitable to question whether my son would have a better life/ upbringing in Sweden. When you read people's comments on this site for ex, it's clear that no matter how awful the adult experiences are of Sweden , everybody seem to agree that Sweden is "good for children", that it's worth it because of the positive aspects of child care and schools etc. So naturally I keep thinking: I have to take my son to Sweden! Staying in Britain may damage him!

On second thought however, I worry becuase there's something that doesn't add up here. How can a country that is so hard on a lot of people moving there/ living there be such a good place for children?

Kids grow up don't they? Swedish children become SWedish adults ?

Doesn't anybody think, and I'm mainly aiming this to the people out there who are not part of the Swedish "everything is perfect here" mentality, that there must be something in the British way of bringing up children and teaching in schools for ex that produce in my opinion very polite, sociable, tolerant and independant adults?

How can Britain be so bad for children when the very same children grow into (in my opinion ) much happier, well-balanced and socialble grown-ups?

For ex, in Sweden they go on about how great the nurseries are as " the children need to play with other children" and be socialiZed, ( why the same argument is used for 1-year olds I don't know), but why is it that nobody seems to question the fact that Swedish people are so asocial, in fact they don't really like other people much as they grow up or having to share, despite having spent so much time with other children "socializing".

Also, has anyone ever wondered why Swedish people are so competitive and envious of eachother when any trace of competitive activities/behaviour has been removed from the classrooms according to the Swedish " same for all" curriculum.

Another thing is the "reality check". British schools are seen as rough in a Swedish perspective as they start earlier and are expected to perform reading and writing earlier as well be polite and call their teachers Miss/mrs etc. Sweidish schools are softer and more child friendly according to the Swedes, they protect the children better, physically, nutrionally, psychologically. Question is>: do children need to be protected or do they need to learn to face the real world a little bit even when they're young.

Personally, I'm starting to think that for my son to become a British person isn't such a bad thing...

[johnjohn]

A lot of generalizations mostly untrue.

[olga118]

There are many ways to provide socialization for children other than putting them in daycare as soon as they can walk.
It is also important that children learn to bond with their parents so that when they become adults they wish to have a relationship with them. Politeness and respect are admirable qualities and they help to make the world a better place to live in.

[Gamla Hälsingebock]

I don't recall anybody saying that Britain was bad for children...only you.

Golly, gee...you wouldn't be trolling...would you?

[ingeling]

Everybody I know in Sweden think it's better for children to grow up in Sweden than Britain.

[Gamla Hälsingebock]

Why such a harsh anti-British statement...do you want to start a "flame out"?

[ingeling]

I think you have to read my initial post again. I'm all for the British way. It was the way people keep saying that Sweden is so good for kids that I questioned as it implies that the system churns out really happy well-socialized Swedish adults, which I don't think it does. I'm not saying that ALL British people are happy individuals but overall as I perceive it from my Swedish outlook British people, or Scottish I should say, seem happier than Swedish.

[Migga]

If it`s your opinion that Britts are much happier, well-balanced and socialble grown-ups then Swedes then you have already answared your own question. Stay where you are.

My opinion is that in Sweden you get to be a kid much longer and much more then in other countries. Some see that as a bad thing, I think it`s great. If one grows up to be half as good as the view you have of adult Britts I think it`s worth growing up in Sweden.

[ingeling]

Migga: before I enter into anything I'd just like to know, do you have any experience of living with children in Britain, if not, what do you base this opinion on, that only Swedish children get to be children?I've heard it a thousand times from Swedish friends.

Is the idea that Swedish children are children longer because they're at nursery til they're six playing instead of going to school?

In my opinion a child's childhood is very much compromized when he/she spends 40 h/week or more at nursery at early ages and later as well.

" To be a child" must include spending enough time with you parents.

[skogsbo]

you make lots of generalisations for both countries. If you are poor parent then your kids will get a poor upbringing no matter where they live. The opposite is also true. Swedes aren't anti social they just not in your face gobbing off all the time like half of Scotland.
Would it be better? That depends on what you and fella do for employment, better to be in the UK with work, than both over here and jobless - not great for kids?!
Sports and pastimes, winter and summer, north or south, it really depends what you enjoy, your attitude to more severe seasonal changes, it's an endless list.

I just fail to quite see what specific question you ask, having made massive general statements?

You also need to think long term for yourselves, career, housing, pension.. otherwise you could just start building resentment if you did or didn't move. You need to sit down and plan your lives, for say 5,10,25 years benchmarks, what stages would you like to be in terms of career, housing, pension, kids schooling etc. then try and plot what would happen to each of these in each respective country and so on.

[Bender B Rodriquez]

" To be a child" must include spending enough time with you parents.

Not at all. To be a child simply means that you are allowed to play and have fun, protected from the pressure and responsibilities of adulthood.

[skogsbo]

Migga: before I enter into anything I'd just like to know, do you have any experience of living with children in Britain, if not, what do you base this opinion on, that on ... (show full quote)

Migga: before I enter into anything I'd just like to know, do you have any experience of living with children in Britain, if not, what do you base this opinion on, that only Swedish children get to be children?I've heard it a thousand times from Swedish friends.

Is the idea that Swedish children are children longer because they're at nursery til they're six playing instead of going to school?

In my opinion a child's childhood is very much compromized when he/she spends 40 h/week or more at nursery at early ages and later as well.

" To be a child" must include spending enough time with you parents. ... (hide full quote)

I would argue, the 9mths each, paternity and maternity, long summer holidays, shorter working hrs. All of this probably means kids spend more time with families, not less.

[ingeling]

Skogsbon: I don't really believe in plans...
When it comes to the friendliness of the Scottish people I much prefer it to the Swedish emotional constipation and general awkwardness around other human beings. Call it generalizations if you like but I've grown up in Sweden and the conclusion I've come to is that it would be nice if SWedish people loved other people as much as they love nature and the outdoors. Yes we're all different and maybe some of us don't mind living without human contact and interaction and SWeden is the perfect country in that case, however in my opinion life loses its lustre if you don't share experiences with other people.

But my post was really about the country as a place for growing up and how it compares to Britain.

[Migga]

Migga: before I enter into anything I'd just like to know, do you have any experience of living with children in Britain, if not, what do you base this opinion on, that on ... (show full quote)

Migga: before I enter into anything I'd just like to know, do you have any experience of living with children in Britain, if not, what do you base this opinion on, that only Swedish children get to be children?I've heard it a thousand times from Swedish friends.

Is the idea that Swedish children are children longer because they're at nursery til they're six playing instead of going to school?

In my opinion a child's childhood is very much compromized when he/she spends 40 h/week or more at nursery at early ages and later as well.

" To be a child" must include spending enough time with you parents. ... (hide full quote)

Well if that`s the case then lets not enter into anything. I have no experience of childcare in Britain but it doesn`t stop me from having an opinion. Nor should it. Take my opinion for what it`s worth, with that in mind.

To be a child must include enough time with other children, away from adults and parents. To play and experience things without overprotecting mothers. To spend 40 hours a week with other kids and for more years, which Sweden allows, is the best for a child to be a kid. But that`s my opinion.

[Migga]

Skogsbon: I don't really believe in plans...When it comes to the friendliness of the Scottish people I much prefer it to the Swedish emotional constipation and general awk ... (show full quote)

Skogsbon: I don't really believe in plans...
When it comes to the friendliness of the Scottish people I much prefer it to the Swedish emotional constipation and general awkwardness around other human beings. Call it generalizations if you like but I've grown up in Sweden and the conclusion I've come to is that it would be nice if SWedish people loved other people as much as they love nature and the outdoors. Yes we're all different and maybe some of us don't mind living without human contact and interaction and SWeden is the perfect country in that case, however in my opinion life loses its lustre if you don't share experiences with other people.

But my post was really about the country as a place for growing up and how it compares to Britain. ... (hide full quote)

Swedish people love other people just as much as any other. They might not show it or if they do they do it in some other way. If Swedes didn`t love people then it would be impossible to have a wellfare state and give one of the most aid per capita to suffering people around the world like they do. Or why not the liberal and human laws for men, women, children or people with different sexual prefrences. To say that Swedes should love other people more just sounds like it`s coming from some bitter person trying to justify their insecure life in some other country.