(edit title) Life crisis help needed Legal and living in Sweden assistance needed Options

[humourme]

Hi i found some info on the forums here but need more help.

I was hoping you may be able to help me... Withought going into a million details i am currently going through a custody battle with a swedish lady who wont agree to 50% custody however I am Australian and it is not practicle for me to live so far away from my kids as the cost of travel is far greater than a return to England .. I will be forced to live in Sweden and make do as best as I can in order to have any life with my children as she wont even let them leave the country to see me here. I know little of Swedens law or even what certain firms do so I am almost at her mercy and I wish not to be. First and formost I guess I need to know the family law... If I could get a pdf download in english of it somewhere that would be fantastic as I will have no internet as of the 3rd of September and dont know when ill be able to get back online. Having it downloaded meaning I can read up on it anytime... I am guessing the best person to possibly point me to that area would be a free solicitor or someone who can give free advice... I have tried a few numbers to some places however I am currently in Australia and I keep getting answering machines saying to leave your name and number and we will get back to you. They will not call me back in Australia. I do understand you may not have all the information I need however any information I can get to prepare myself even if it be a few phone numbers would be greaatly appreciated. I have spent days and countless hours and sleepless nights trying to get things sorted. I have permanent residency in Sweden and will be moving back on the 4th of September 2012. I sold everything when I left Australia to be with her over 4 yrs ago and we never married so I already know I will walk away with nothing more than my laptop and my clothes. I have worked in Sweden previously and will again asap. so i guess i need to ...

1. Find an appartment in Lilla edet I dont know anything about the realestate in sweden but can ask the kommun when I get there and find out how many bedrooms I need for my 2 children 1 boy 1 girl.
2. Find out if I can get any kind of unemployment benifit if I dont get a job soon enough and I dont know where to get unemployment benifits from or if I am entitled to them at all.
3. Find some free legal advice to find out what rights I have to get my children 50% of the time and I am clueless where I can get free advice from even after hours of googling for phone numbers and making some calls...

Thankfully I have got a friend who will put me up for a few weeks till I get a place to live however they both work and wont have time to run around helping me to sort these things out. I do know where to go to look for work thank god and fingers crossed ill get something fast. I do not know what else to do or organise yet I am trying to do it 1 step at a time. I will also need to look at getting my Swedish licence and a car as being an Aussie I cant just transfer it over like you can if you are from Japan or the EU. I have looked into this a bit already.

I do appreciate any time and/or assistance you may give me in this matter and could never thank you enough for whatever help you may decide to offer... Please remember I will have no internet after the 3rd of september however I will do my best to get to a library or somewhere to check my mails.

If all else fails I will attempt to apply for residency in the UK and try to live and work there as I know its only about 60pound return on ryan air if you book in advance.

Thanks again for your time and consideration.

[Yorkshireman]

Well, the 1st thing You should try to understand is that custody in Sweden is not about where the child lives etc... it is about WHO has the right to make decisions on behalf of the child. Those decisions can include for example, where the lives.

If 1 parent has 100% custody, then that parent makes all decisions for the child. The rest between that parent and the other is not a court decision, it is a mediation process, and can be difficult, especially if You parted on bad terms .

Custody, if already 100% to the mother, can be challenged in the court. They are very open, and do not make decisions based upon the parents wishes, but on behalf of what the court believes is in interest of the child.

With that in mind, You certainly will not get any custody whilst living outside of Sweden, the parent living in Sweden needs the power of 100% to sign official documents, school papers etc...

If You move to Sweden to live, then You have a much better chance of challenging the custody of 100%, and in all likelyhood, unless the court deems there to be anything detrimental for the child, will get the decision changed to 50-50.

50-50, still doesnt mean the child can live with You!... It means you share equal right to make decisions, the rest is a negotiation, best if written and mediated by the familycourt/social.

[Puffin]

I am a little confused - did you and the OH/kids live in Sweden or Australia when you were together? One parent cannot unilaterally decide to move abroad with kids without the other's consent

I am not sure how a 50% custody deal between Sweden and Australian would work - it sounds very unfair on the kids to keep having to upproot from their friends and stability - I do know of people who have long distance custody arrangement - but is is more like 25-30% based on school holidays

There is some basic situation on Försäkringskassans homepage
http://www.forsakringskassan.se/sprak/eng/...lGTjFCTExJODk3/

[Puffin]

The other issue is whether you were married - as far as I can remember if you were not married then you don't have an automatic right to custody unless this was agreed in the course of a parternity investigation - although you can get visitation

[mångk]

Here is a link to help you find a lawyer specialising in Family Law.

http://www.advokatsamfundet.se/Advokatsamf.../Find-a-lawyer/

You will find that most will have email contact.

Make sure you give them a short concise explanation of the situation and probably may need to mention how long you have been living apart from your children.

I think that given the likely age of your children (implied from the content of your original post) it would be not be feasible for such children to spend over 20 hours flying unattended where there is at least one stop over. So have a think about that one as you may not have thought about it!

Good luck!

[humourme]

ok we were not married my name is on the childrens birth certificate they were born in sweden both have dual citizenship papers we were in australia for 5 months due to work and family from jan to june however i decided to stay an extra 3 months to work longer to pay bills... she went back with the kids then soon after wrote me saying she doesnt want me back she wants to live on her own and have the kids too... i am still returning to sweden on the date i was originally going to as aggreed b4 she left with the kids.. she however remains persistant that she has more right to see the children grow up than i do ... i however feel as their father and being i am willing to sacrifice my life away from my country and family to be with them deserve a 50% right to enjoy my childrens first steps in life i dont want to miss everything because she thinks she is more worthy i dont believe that is fair and i believe i am capable and loving enough as a parent to have that right.

[mångk]

No real need to explain, best to contact a number of the lawyers using the link I provided.

being i am willing to sacrifice my life away from my country and family to be with them deserve a 50% right to enjoy my childrens first steps in life

Probably the best thing is to avoid comments like that. I understand what you mean but still best to avoid it!

Good luck!

[Garry Jones]

As an Aussie you will be able to work in any bar in Stockholm. Drop me a PM when you get here and I'll give you a few contacts.

[Hisingen]

Living in Sweden, I was lucky that when I divorced, I was given custody of my daughter, which was assisted by the fact that it was with me she wanted to live. My ex was then bound to pay her share of maintenance. There was however no form of hindrance for access for my ex with her daughter, although in practice it amounted to very little due to other circumstances. Later in life, when my ex developed cancer she and my daughter found one another, and they had a good relationship then up until death took a hand.
However, we both were able to see our daughter grow up, and that was the important thing - for all three. I very much sympathise with you in your situation, whereby on the face of it there seems not to be the will to allow you to see your youngsters grow up, and that is both cruel and unkind to you and the children.
You have been advised to seek legal aid in the matter, and I can only add my recommendation to that. The matter is one that you cannot resolve on your own, and legal guidance is an absolute must, especially as I understand you were not married. That makes it all the more difficult. Mothers can become very possessive, even to excluding the fathers from even having contact with their children, something that I, personally, feel is tantamount to a crime.
I add my condolences on the split, and wish you good fortune in your endeavours. You have considerably more deeper problems due to being from down-under, and the distances involved thereby.
Good luck, sport.

[Hisingen]

Regarding your thoughts on accommodation you can try hemnet.se. Where it says Sök bostad put in Lilla Edet (you mentioned that in your post) Up will come a suggestion Lilla Edet kommun, Västra Götalands län. Bostadstyp - type of accommodation you want - Alla typer the box is usually already ticked, then click on Hitta bostäder - Find property - and then you will see a variety of properties available in and around Lilla Edet at widely varying prices depending on proximity to Lilla Edet itself. There is a map on the site, too, so that you can see where things are. Hemnet refers mainly to housing, and not to apartments I ought to add.
Just another something for your info, albeit on another tack, but based on the comments made in your earlier post.