(edit title) Giving birth in the UK - custody Can I stay there if dad is Swedish? Options

[taurus2]

Hi

Also seeking legal advice in the UK but wonder if anyone might have some experience here of a similar situation.

I have dual nationality Swedish/British. I have lived in Sweden for 3 years and am pregnant by a Swedish man. So far he has had nothing to do with the pregnancy and has said that he does not want to be at the birth or have his 10 'pappa dagar' (paternity leave). So this pretty much leaves me on my own. My family are back in the UK so I have decided to go back there to give birth with the support of my mum and sister and spend as much of my maternity leave as I can there. I also plan to return permantently after mat leave as in the UK I will have family support as a single mum which I don't have here. However....the sperm donor recenetly said that he might want shared custody (after saying that he wanted nothing to do with the child I cant think why).

So if I give birth in the UK and register my child as British can he force me to move back to Sweden? As a Swedish citizen I believe my child might also automatically become Swedish. I spoke to a UK lawyer briefly who said that any custody trial will be held in England with UK laws.

Basically I have my whole network in the UK, my support and much better benefits in terms of childcare if I stay there so I believe it will be for my childs best, at least for the first few years. I am happy to grant him any access he wants e.g coming over to england or me flying over to sweden for the child and father to meet but I do not want to live in sweden again.

Does anyone know how the law works if I give birth in the UK and spend at least the first 6 months of the childs life over there as well as the fact that I can prove that our quality of life will be much better in england and the fact that I will grant him the access that he wants e.g travel, chat by skype, send letters etc.

Do I have a chance of being left with single custody and be allowed to stay in the UK?

[cbgbg]

HiAlso seeking legal advice in the UK but wonder if anyone might have some experience here of a similar situation.I have dual nationality Swedish/British. I have lived in Swed ... (show full quote)

Hi

Also seeking legal advice in the UK but wonder if anyone might have some experience here of a similar situation.

I have dual nationality Swedish/British. I have lived in Sweden for 3 years and am pregnant by a Swedish man. So far he has had nothing to do with the pregnancy and has said that he does not want to be at the birth or have his 10 'pappa dagar' (paternity leave). So this pretty much leaves me on my own. My family are back in the UK so I have decided to go back there to give birth with the support of my mum and sister and spend as much of my maternity leave as I can there. I also plan to return permantently after mat leave as in the UK I will have family support as a single mum which I don't have here. However...the sperm donor recenetly said that he might want shared custody (after saying that he wanted nothing to do with the child I cant think why).

So if I give birth in the UK and register my child as British can he force me to move back to Sweden? As a Swedish citizen I believe my child might also automatically become Swedish. I spoke to a UK lawyer briefly who said that any custody trial will be held in England with UK laws.
PS dont forget English law is not Swedish law so you have more rights

Basically I have my whole network in the UK, my support and much better benefits in terms of childcare if I stay there so I believe it will be for my childs best, at least for the first few years. I am happy to grant him any access he wants e.g coming over to england or me flying over to sweden for the child and father to meet but I do not want to live in sweden again.

Does anyone know how the law works if I give birth in the UK and spend at least the first 6 months of the childs life over there as well as the fact that I can prove that our quality of life will be much better in england and the fact that I will grant him the access that he wants e.g travel, chat by skype, send letters etc.

Do I have a chance of being left with single custody and be allowed to stay in the UK? ... (hide full quote)

Im not sure how the law works but i have had the same situation with my ex. Firstly i am glad that you have no problems with the childs father having access.
I know in Sweden that the mother usually gets custody direct but i still had unlimited access. If your child is born in the UK and you live there it will get a British birth certificate so i presume the child will be British which happened in my daughters case. I used a company in London called Vinge that gave me great advice but basically lawyers cost a fortune and cause lots of problems so my advice is sort out your problems with your childs father

[taurus2]

Thanks, if you could give any more information about your case that would be great.

To be frank, the relation between us right now feels pretty rotten due to him wanting nothing to do with us BUT I am still willing to ensure that he has contact with his child. I have already offered to go to mediation etc but he answers none of my communication. I was up to a point willing to stay in Sweden to ensure he could see the child more often but due to the lack of support from him as well as him forbidding me to have contact with his family I feel I have no other option but to return to the UK to get the support I need.

Believe me I have bent over backwards for us to have a working relation despite my own feelings about the way he has acted. Having gone through all this crap now the last thing I want is for him to waltz in when the child is 6 months old and force me to move away from my family. Like I say, I am willing to follow the law to a T when it comes to overseas access but really, thats where I draw my line right now!

[byke]

If you have any doubts over your relationship, and you consider the UK home ... Then make sure you give birth there. As otherwise you could find yourself giving birth in Sweden and finding you fall under Swedish law, thus resulting in being landlocked here and unable to return to the UK with your child without risk of kidnapping.

Basically where you reside and the nationality or birth place of the child often dictates how any legal custody will be decided.

[Yorkshireman]

Your lawyer is correct. EU wide agreements on custody state that the court that can make the decision is the one nearest to the child ...if You are in the UK, then it is the UK court. Further more, the agreement indicates that no member state can over-rule an earlier custody decision made in another EU country. ie. The sperm-donor???, would not be able to get any custody rights via Swedish courts if UK court decided You have 100% custody.

If You are a British citizen, then if your child is born in UK it will automatically be a British citizen by Birth

However, it does need to be added that UK custody decisions can always be challenged in the UK.

Make sure You have Your EHIC card up to date, even though You are a British citizen, that alone no longer entitle You to NHS health care for free, since You have been resident outside the UK for a while.

Good Luck

[taurus2]

thanks, that is what I thought and had been told but you never know, the more I read about Swedish law the more I realise how maverick it can be!

Thanks for the responses.

[William Sachsen-Coburg-Go...]

It might be worth noting that in the UK the mother has automatic parental responsibility, whereas the father only has parental responsiblity if he is on the birth certificate, or it's ordered by the courts or if he is married to the mother.

[cbgbg]

All the above replies are great and i would certainly take their advice.
In my situation my daughter was born in London and my ex took her back to Sweden. We both agreed on that decision and a year later i moved to Sweden. That was 22 years ago. I was lucky as i had a good ex.
If i was in your situation i would move back to the UK to your family and support net work. You must think of your self and your baby to be first and nobody else.
I wish you lots of luck for the future

[Puffin]

You may want to check that you still have the rights to maternity care in the UK after living in Sweden for 3 years - many UK health authorities are now introducing checks that you have been resident for at least 6 months to prevent UK residents living abroad without paying UK taxes and returning to the UK for medical treatment

Maternity is usually regarded as planned medical care rather than emergency care (unless of course is is obvious that you have given birth several months early). Therefore routine maternity care is not usually covered by the European health card.

[taurus2]

yes I will need to check that I am still eligable for free healthcare in the UK although I thought with it being EU it might be OK. However, it is worth taking a loan and paying for the birth in this situation