(edit title) Genetics question - is it possible? Could there be a father other than me? Options

[dave.smith]

Hi all,

So here's the situation, my sambo had a baby 4 months ago. At first I didn't question it since we were actively trying. But he has blonde hair and blue eyes. My sambo has blonde hair and blue eyes. I have brown hair and brown eyes. What are the chances there is a father other than me?

DS

[johnjohn]

Hair color is not relevant especially in children. Eye color is a factor of genes. The blue gene is what is called recessive, brown dominant. In short, yes you can have a blue eyed child with a mother with blue eyes, father with brown eyes if the father has blue recessive gene. Relax.

[Rick Methven]

It may be that blond hair and blue eyes are dominant genes.

Couple of questions

1. does the baby have any of your features?

2. Any chance that your sambo was playing away 11 months ago?

If answer to 1 is No and to 2 is Yes, you could be in trouble

[dave.smith]

Thanks for the replies guys.

He does have similar features to me, but according to google there are only a small number of face type and feature types in the world, so it could be coincidental.

According to some sources, it is possible for brown hair/ brown eyed europeans to have more than one genotype based on their parents. My father's side of the family (him, his brother and 2 sisters) have blue eyes, but not blonde hair...sandy (light brown?) Something like that, not sure how to describe it. My mom has brown hair and brown eyes.

I didn't think there was any messing around going on, but who knows

[John.Smith]

Hi Dave,
Caucasian babies are normally born with blue eyes, however they can change right up until they are 18 months old. Example: my son was born with blond hair and blue eyes. He is now 5 and have brown hair and green eyes. My daughter was born with blond hair and blue eyes, she still has the blond hair but now has brown/hazel eyes. Both me and my wife have green eyes and brown hair and as babies both had blue eyes and blond hair.
If you have never had any suspicions that your partner has been fooling around, and considering that child has some of your features AND considering that genetics are somewhat a game of probability (meaning that some recessive genes do surface from time to time), I would suggest that you have nothing to worry about.

Is this your first?

//J:S:

[Puffin]

I don't think that you can read anything at all into this - there will be different genetic combinations - also babies hair colour can change and they don't necessarily end up with the colour they were born with

Mr Puffin and I have 2 100% biological children who look very different from each other and us
DD1 is blonde with blue eyes and a pale skin tone(although she was born with brown hair)
DD2 has very dark brown hair (almost black) and hazel eyes with olive skin(she looks almost Spanish/Italian)

If you are truly uncertain and don't trust your OH then a DNA test is the only way to go - but she will probably be very insulted

[jostein]

Well, have a fathershiptest done? You should have anyway before you signed that paper. Havent you seen the Strindberg play "The Father"? I guess it might be a bit akward if you have not been crystal about this from the start of your relationship.

But the other side of this coin is that if you have been actively trying for a long time mebbe your woman just took some responsibility? You really want to know that then?

Or just stay silent and continue churning out kids, some of them should be yours and then you can hardly begrudge your woman for not putting ALL her eggs in the same basket?

[John.Smith]

Without trying to sound like a prat, but if this is your first child it is not unusual for it to take some time for 'fatherhood' to sink in. Think about it, this little child has upset your social life, your emotional life, turned your relationship with your partner upside down and is demanding of your time, energy and sleep!
I will probably get hammered for posting this, but it is quite normal for there to be a slight but present feeling of what has this kid done to my life! I will admit that when my eldest was born it took me 6 months or so before I felt that I had bonded with him. The first 6 months I found emotionally hard, don't get me wrong at the same time I loved him with every fiber of my being!!
Now, I cannot wait to get home from the office or back home from travel to sit with my kids, play with them, cuddle them and generally spend time with them. They are the center of my life and even though we always said we would have two, have not been able to resist to have one more (due in a few months)...

The point I am making in a very long winded way is that I think you are experiencing a little difficulty adapting to the new situation in which you find yourself, but don't let it drag you down the dark road of questioning your partners loyalty to you. Remember she is going through a tough time as it is and also needs time to adjust. Your relationship needs to find a new balance and one that includes your child. Put any suspicions you have to bed and enjoy the adventure.

//J:S:

[dave.smith]

Thanks for all of the input guys. I know that babies eye and hair colour changes up to a year, I was just hoping it would have started to change by now... No positive change at all so far. (Still very blue and very blonde)

[Mzungu]

Either have a little trust in your relationship,or move on!

*nothing unusual in hair and eye colours*

[dave.smith]

IHi John,

Yes he is our first. You have some good points. I do feel uneasy about the whole parenthood thing.

[John.Smith]

Thanks for all of the input guys. I know that babies eye and hair colour changes up to a year, I was just hoping it would have started to change by now... No positive change a ... (show full quote)

Thanks for all of the input guys. I know that babies eye and hair colour changes up to a year, I was just hoping it would have started to change by now... No positive change at all so far. (Still very blue and very blonde) ... (hide full quote)

Both my kids eyes were blur up until they were 12 months. Their eyes did not start to change until after this and it took almost another year before they were properly green and brown.

I have a good friend from Norway who is blond, blue eyed and as Scando as they come. Her daughter was born with olive skin, brown eyes and dark (almost black) hair. Her partner is also blue eyed and blond. Turns out she has some North African ancestry way back along the line. You can only imagine the shock her partner got during the birth at the hospital. She said the delivery room went quiet for a few moments and the mid-wife didn't know where to look. One of her female cousins has very similar features and the genes seem to pop-up every once in a while. Something to do with whether the parents are homozygous or heterozygous for specific genetic traits and if the parents genes for eye colors and skin colour are dominant or recessive???? Can't remember my high school biology

It did take a little explaining to her partner and his family however

[johnjohn]

Thanks for all of the input guys. I know that babies eye and hair colour changes up to a year, I was just hoping it would have started to change by now... No positive change a ... (show full quote)

Thanks for all of the input guys. I know that babies eye and hair colour changes up to a year, I was just hoping it would have started to change by now... No positive change at all so far. (Still very blue and very blonde) ... (hide full quote)

Don't be ridiculous. Google eye color, genetics etc. Your child might have the bluest eyes forever. There is nothing abnormal about that. It is very scientific and proven a million times over that your child can have blue eyes. Stop torturing yourself every time you look into you baby's eyes. Good luck.

[John.Smith]

IHi John,. Yes he is our first. You have some good points. I do feel uneasy about the whole parenthood thing.

It is quite normal
It is a shock to the system alright. I found it tough as me and the missus had nigh on 10 years together before kids and had loads of dosh, a great social life, great sex life and generally living it up. It was a big change and to be honest my wife kept it together, without her i would have been a nervous wreck. The second one was so much easier. By that stage I was a dab-hand at changing nappies, cleaning up vomit, burping etc... Give it some time, if possible hang out with some other more experienced Dad's. They can and generally very willingly do give some good advice.

Rest assured that the overwhelming feelings you have now are normal. There is no manual for kids so you will have to learn as you go.

The best advice I can give you is to put yourself in your partner's shoes for a day. Consider what she is going through right now, i.e. her body has been through the wars, she probably does not feel very 'romantic' and is concious about how she looks, she is coping with hormonal changes, if she is breastfeeding then she has to cope with the physical demands of that, she is no doubt emotionally strained as she is likely getting limited or no down time for herself. Your situation as the father doesn't seem do bad now does it?

Also, make time for yourself to blow off steam, make sure to keep up social contacts and hobbies etc.

Best of luck and congrats on being a father, Trust me when i say that you will wonder what you ever did with your life before this point. Hard to believe but I swear it is true!

// J:S:

[Puffin]

Thanks for all of the input guys. I know that babies eye and hair colour changes up to a year, I was just hoping it would have started to change by now... No positive change a ... (show full quote)

Thanks for all of the input guys. I know that babies eye and hair colour changes up to a year, I was just hoping it would have started to change by now... No positive change at all so far. (Still very blue and very blonde) ... (hide full quote)

Why would you assume that your child would inherit YOUR eye/hair colour and NOT your sambos???

I really don't know what you are expecting but perhaps your own child is always destined to take after his mother when it comes to hair/eye colour - perhaps he will always be blonde

Perhaps you should get yourself some counselling as you sound a bit obsessive about this and that fact that you describe your child's hair and eye clour in negative terms sounds a bit strange and rather worrying