(edit title) Pregnant and Studying? I was due to come to Sweden with Swedish boyfriend Options

[bellabea11]

Hi Everyone,

Firstly, thank you for taking the time to read this! I am in need of some advice and honesty as well. Well without going into much detail, I have got pregnant even though I was on a long-term contraception method (the coil) that is equivalent to sterilization (Or so I was told!). The reason I was on this was because I knew that abortion would never be an option for me so never ever risked getting pregnant. Sorry just want to explain as I know that there are people who are judgemental towards people who take risks, end up pregnant and then complain about their situation!

Anyway, I am in my final year of my degree in the UK and I am British and 23 years old. I have been with my boyfriend (who is Swedish, 25 years old) for 3 years and we are at the same university doing different degrees. We have just applied to come and complete a Master at Lund university as he wants to be near his family in Malmo now as he misses Sweden. So the plan was, if we were accepted, we would begin there in Autumn 2012.

But, obviously there as been a bump in the road. I have yet to tell my boyfriend as he is going to panic so I want to get the practicalities sorted out before I tell him, so I can calm him down. The reason he is going to panic as we both have planned out our careers and our future and currently have no money. So understandably he is going to be worried and so am I. But as I said abortion really is not an option for me.

So I have several questions:

What support if any would we get? Hosuing, finances etc.
Could I still complete my Master? (I am a strong person so feel I would be driven enough to do this)
Could my boyfriend still complete his Master (or would he be forced to work if we have no money, or could CSN help us or something?)
How would it work for me with my delivery and hospitals etc? (Due end Sept)

I know there is lots of you who will be screaming at the computer thinking there are another 2 peopl who are draining the Swedish system. But this really was an accident and I wish I was not in this situation but I want the best for my baby now and will do anything to do that. So please just help me, not judge me!

Thanks again!

Bella

[Puffin]

A very tricky time for you so it will be important to discus what the best thing to do is as it's not the easiest start

However students with kids is a pretty common situation in Sweden so no-one will be phased

What support if any would we get? Hosuing, finances etc.

lf you BF is Swedish I assume that he will apply for student grants and loans (around 80000kr/£8,000 per year) from CSN plus he may be able to use his family comtacts to work part time

As a registered resident you will get 180kr per day to stay home with your baby around 5000kr/£500 per month if you claims for 7 days/week)

You may be entitled to housing benefits - this will depend on your total family income

Could I still complete my Master? (I am a strong person so feel I would be driven enough to do this)

In the long term yes - but you may have to take a 1 year break until your baby is a year old

You may perhaps be able to take a distance course at home that can be counted later to your Matsers

How would it work for me with my delivery and hospitals etc? (Due end Sept)

As an EU citizen registered in Sweden you are entitled to free Maternity care - there is a hospital fee usually that everyone pays - usually abou £8-10 per day

[Puffin]

Almost forgot - you will get child allowance of just over 1000kr/month or just over £100

+ once your baby is a year old you will be able to get subsidised daycare/dagis so you can get your master - the max you pay is 1260kr/month (£125 per month for full time/£30 per week) however if you are students on a low income you will pay much less

+ after 2 years registered in Sweden you can get grants/loans for your Masters from CSN

[bellabea11]

Thank you for your reply!

I know it is a very scary time so trying to stay calm and sort out the practical implications. But I am terrified. Just not sure how we are going to afford everything but when there is a will there is a way! I am a loving person and determined to give my baby the best. Just not the situation I imagined myself in.

Well I think that I may delay starting my Master until 2013 if you think it would be better to take a year out.

On the note of my boyfriend, he has obviously be borrowing money from CSN for these three years, can he still borrow more or is it limited to three years (it is in the UK)?

On the housing note, what are the income boundaries etc?

Thank you so much....

Bella

[johnjohn]

I believe Puffin refereed to the year as I believe this is the soonest you could put your child in daycare. The housing allowance varies between communities but max is about 4500kr per month. All this depends on your sambo's and your combined income and assets as everything will be considered jointly. Best of luck in your new life.

[Puffin]

Well I think that I may delay starting my Master until 2013 if you think it would be better to take a year out.

The main problem is that subsidised daycare does not exist for children under 12 months - so unless you have relatives to care for the bay fulltime the baby would not e able to start daycare before august 2013

But I would wait and see until nearer the time - who

On the note of my boyfriend, he has obviously be borrowing money from CSN for these three years, can he still borrow more or is it limited to three years (it is in the UK)?

The amount that you can claim is linked to the number of points - however if you take different courses you can get CSN for up to 6 years - if you only study part time they pay you less
ie
- bachelor + masters
- high school teacher 4-5 years
- doctor - 5 years
- law 4½ years

On the housing note, what are the income boundaries etc?

http://www.forsakringskassan.se/sprak/eng/...lGTjFCTExJOE01/

May also be able to get some form on income support during the holidays - but it is not like the UK - he may be required to "earn" it by picking up litter/weeding etc

[johnjohn]

I believe Puffin referred to the year as I believe this is the soonest you could put your child in daycare. The housing allowance varies between communities but max is about 4500kr per month. All this depends on your sambo's and your combined income and assets as everything will be considered jointly. Best of luck in your new life.

[bellabea11]

Thank you very much for all your advice! I do not think I would want to leave my baby in daycare until 12 months anyway, even that might be too soon for me! So I think it would be best to delay for a year.

The link for the housing information was amazing. I have been struggling to find that kind of information.

The only other thing I am unclear on is do I automatically qualify for this or would we need to get a legal documentation of our relationship e.g. marriage? Or is it just if we live together? Or I saw somewhere about having to get a paternity test once the baby is born to prove the father is Swedish?

Sorry to keep troubling you. It is just amazing to get some advice that I can find!

[johnjohn]

No paternity test and you must apply together and live together as you alone would not qualify.

[bellabea11]

Thank you! Is there help for buying things, like in the UK you get a starter grant to buy clothing, push-chair etc? Or is that from the other help? Is there any good websites that you can get second hand baby stuff in Sweden?

[johnjohn]

Second hand www.tradera.se or better yet www.blocket.se

[byke]

My only advice would be give birth in the UK, not because the hospitals are better ... but in regards to legalities if the relationship was to sour after moving to sweden.

[bellabea11]

Thanks for the advice but I am just unclear on how it would make a difference? Could you just explain why if the baby was born in Sweden it would make it difficult if it did go sour? Sorry I have been living in the student world where planning does not take place so on a crash course now! Thanks!

[johnjohn]

Byke might be referring to the fact that if the child is born here, is a Swedish citizen you may find it impossible to leave the country with your child if the relationship ends and the father objects..

[007]

where a child is born plays a very little roll in that decision. if a child lives here (regardless of birthplace) and has a swedish parent, that swedish parent can potentially prevent the child from relocating to another place (and that can mean another place in sweden too)