(edit title) Israeli married to a Swedish guy in NY What f he stop paying Options

[Ofiraj]

Hi all,
I am an Israeli girl Married to a Swedish guy that lives in NY
Few month ago we decided to get divorced and he gave me to take our 1year daughter to Israel under an agreement that we made
Lately we've been having some fights and he said some hard thing such as deleting - erasing us from his life and stop seeing his daughter the twice a year that he signed for and stop supporting us
We did close this fight but I was wondering
From one of his sentences he said one day he might move back to Sweden
What happens if he does that and stop paying and seeing his daughter?
Where do I sue him? Still in the court in NY or in Sweden??
Thanks
Great week
o

[darcom14]

If he is a resident of NY you may be able to file there. They will order child support. If he does not pay they can attach his paycheck, pull his driver's license and, if he has a US passport they will also revoke that. And if he leaves the US he will still be under that order to pay, It is irrevocable.
As far as him not having contact with you or the child, I don't think there is anything you can do about that, unfortunately. Best of luck to you.

[Ofiraj]

So what does the law sais? If he want to sue me he will have to sue me in Israel ? I don't live in NY anymore
We both got green card so he is not a citizen in NY
I still don't really understand the part of if he leaves NY to his origins -Sweden and doesn't want to pay me if I sue him in Sweden or NY and does they have in NY the power of controlling his salary and stuff from NY ?
This situation sucks !
Why "mans " can't just take their responsability and be good fathers???

[Yorkshireman]

You need to check if Your agreement in NY can legally be enforced in Sweden.

Swedish social law has as it's basic principle "Everyone must pay their own way", though children are protected.

The key here was Your phrase "..support Us.." ...if Your current agreement is not legal in Sweden and You claim via swedish court, the only maintenance he will pay is towards the child, and they have standard rules how this is calculated. But it is only for the child, not You. You are expected to pay Your own way, and Your part of raising the child.

I cannot remember of-top-of-head what the standard calculation is, You will most probably find that it is significantly less than what You may expect from a US court ruling. If I remember correctly they sometimes take into account the Father's standard of living, and base the calculation for his part (half) of the maintenance as if the child would live part of the time with Him. Your standard/cost of living has nothing to do with with calculating His maintenance for the child.

You would be best checking with a lawyer if You sue in US now!, that whatever the result can be enforced in Sweden, and take action now before He moves.

[byke]

Does the child have Swedish citizenship ?

[Puffin]

I'm not totally sure what you are asking? It seems to be a lot of *what ifs* as at the moment he is
- living in New York
- paying child support as agreed

Until he stops doing either of these there is not a lot you can do - although you may need a lawyer who specialises in international custody and child support arrangements

However Yorkshireman is right - you will only get child support in Sweden - it is not the norm for Swedes to pay to support their ex spouse as both are expected to work

[byke]

If I remember correctly, a few months ago we had an American lady on the site asking similar information.

Mother was from the US, father was a Swede ...
They had gone to court in the US and agreed a divorce and case for child payments etc.

However the father had moved back to Sweden by himself and refused to pay child care as agreed in the US courts. And the mother was left paying for everything as the Swedish courts wouldn't acknowledge a court order from the USA.

This is why I wonder if the child is registered as being Swedish, as when it comes to fathers and different countries etc ... there is usually issues or should I say responsibility clauses in many countries that doesn't put the father on the same footing as the mother.

I would guess that if the child has Swedish citizenship, and you wanted child payments.
Then you would need to go through the Swedish courts to ensure they are paid, which could be very pricey in itself.

[Gamla Hälsingebock]

I have questions.

You are an Israeli living in Israel...your ex husband is Swedish and living in New York.

How did you find The Local's web site?

I'm just curious.

[Ofiraj]

Hi
first of all i guess it sounds like i meant that he will pay me but because i have a little baby i guess i got you all confused.
even though i could get alimony if i wanted i ignored it and didnt ask for it because i wanted to finish it nicely and not get into small fights so the only thing we closed on is child support and visitation rights
the thing is that we had a fight because of our visitation agreement
we agreed that he will see her twice a year 2 weeks in december and 2 month in july- august
3 weeks ago we started talking about this visit and we decided long time ago that this year he will get her only for 3 weeks cause she is only 1 year and 4 month
ive been talking to a baby mind specialist and psycologist who explained to me that we have to do it slawly and before i leave her with him cause she doesnt know him! than we will better stay in the same apt for few days so that she wont get the "abandon fear" nor nightmares of her mother who left her
he wasnt next to her from the moment she was born so much cause he works 15 hours a day and went out party after that so she doesnt know him at all!
anyways long story short - he kind of told me he wants me to bring her to the airport and go away
crazy
i am a loving mother i give my life to my daughter- i live her- breath her- wake p and sleep with her and he thinks thats normal?
so thats where the fight started
in one of our fights he even emailed me that if he doesnt get her alone than he will delete- erase us from his past and stop supporting her moneywise
thats what made me check out my rights
oh and he mentioned going back to sweden
thats why i needed to know if something like this happenes - hopefuly not- but if yes than i need to be prepared

yes my daughter has swedish and american passport

how did i find this site? GOOGLE!
i googled few questions and got in!
i like it! so many nice people answer and try to help
you dont meet people like this walking on the street nor when u go to government offices

thank you all for all the help
o

[sarah02]

I absolutely have no advice to you Ofiraj but good luck really.

[Ofiraj]

Thanks Sarah I know it's complicated! I hope he will stop acting like a 20 year old and stand up for his responsability and give his daughter what she needs! A loving father with unlimited love and care!

[jostein]

Im sure you will find plenty help here. People on these boards make a particular point of taking sides against sweden and swedes at any opportunity.

[Ofiraj]

Hahaha
Maybe if I would see this site before I got married...

Hahahah
I woul do it again just for my daughter !

[Westport]

Although I know nothing about the case of the USA, I can tell you that a legally filed and enforceable child care agreement in Canada will not be enforced by the Swedish courts. I know of a similar case to yours where a father returned to Sweden from Canada and the mother was unable force any of the agreed upon maintenance payments through the Swedish courts. I'm not sure if the child had ever been registered for Swedish citizenship but I doubt that would make any difference.
There are some countries that have international agreements to enforce legal child care payments from other countries but to my knowledge Sweden has never signed on to this. Your matter is further complicated by the fact that you no longer live in the jurisdiction so even a New york court may not look at your case. And while he continues to pay, you can not do anything at all, as you can't take pre-emptive action just in case he might stop paying.
Divorce is never easy but if you both try to concentrate on the long term benefit of the child you may have a chance of resolving the issues - otherwise you are looking at a very long, expensive legal battle.

[Stebro]

To be honest I don't think that many of those desicions sounds like good ones for your daughter. Like moving to Israel and having an agreement to see the daughter twice per year. Without knowing more about the situation the reasonable and responsible desicion imo, by both parents even with a divorce would have been to stay in the same country at least.