(edit title) A question of language and protocol ...tips appreciated Options

[CosmoKramar]

Hi Folks

Quick Swedish language/protocol question that I hope someone can help me with. Here at home in the UK, if I'm in a shop and I'm taking my items to the cashier to pay, I find it sort of awkward and impolite to simply plonk my items down on the counter and stare silently into the cashier's face. So just to apply a little social lubrication to smooth the moment over, I tend to say something to the effect of "I'll just take this/these, thanks." It has the dual effect of making it seem like a request for service rather than a demand, and it also lets the cashier know that I won't be wanting anything else.

Now, when I asked my partner what equivalent phrase I could use in Swedish shops, she said "We don't have one, we just plonk." I suppose it wouldn't surprise me if she's right, because I wouldn't put it past the average Swede to possess the kind of steely nerve required to just plonk-and-stare. But it also wouldn't surprise me if she's just...well, a plonker, as it were, and that there is actually a commonly used Swedish expression for such a scenario. Could I say something like, for example, "Jag ska bara ta det här?" as I plonk my item down? Or would that just be absolutely revolutionary on a social and linguistic level and have bystanders ringing Polisen to report me for outraging public decency?

If anyone could enlighten me, that'd be great...

[AW1]

Just smile, say Hej, and plonk them down. What else do you think needs saying?

[wendist]

She´s right, usually we just "plonk". If you feel you absolutely have to say something keep it simple and just say Hej when it´s your turn and Tack when the transaction is completed.

[wendist]

Damn, beaten to it again.

[byke]

You Plonkers

[entry]

My Swedish wife has lived in the community we reside in Sweden all her life. I am however fairly certain that the local business people are more familiar with myself than she. I do engage the cashiers in conversations. They tell me their vacation plans and what is going on with their families and the things that are new and exciting in our community.

On the occasions that my wife goes to the same stores in my absence, she is almost always asked where is your husband.

People are people in the 1st world. There are people who are happy to be miserable and there are people who are stoic until the ice is melted.

Initially, I tend to be non-verbal but communicative physically, generally with facial expressions. This has worked well for me and thus far has not caused me exorbitant stays in Swedish jails.

[CosmoKramar]

Well, I just think it invites some kind of commentary when you plonk some items down in front of someone. If I were to script the scene:

Cashier: Hejsan
Me: Hej
*plonks down items*
A beat
*cashier begins scanning*

In that beat I feel there is a sort of unbearable tension, a social vacuum that sucks words out of my mouth to fill it, and those words are usually "I'll just take these, thanks."

Does it need saying? No, but then, if someone bumps into you in the street and says "Sorry", you don't need to say "No worries", but if you don't then...to my mind you must be a Terminator.

[Rick Methven]

I do engage the cashiers in conversations. They tell me their vacation plans and what is going on with their families and the things that are new and exciting in our community.

So you are the guy who is holding up the long line of shoppers in a hurry by chatting with the cashier instead of letting her get on with the job she is paid to do

[skogsbo]

they normally get so distracted with the chat, they take a short life time to lift out items from the trolley, one by one, even the smallest, because they are too engrossed in the chat. Then once paid it takes another minute to round off the conversation. However, even once they are at the bottom packing, they still manage to throw the odd comment at the cashier to kept the distraction going. They probably life alone and this is their one chance of communication a day, so I'll happily let them have it. I just expect this now, I know that even if I only want a carton of milk, a trip into ICA could take 10-15mins, but that's just life.

I'm a plonker too, but will always do the basic chat too. Imagine working on the till all day and never seeing a happy face from a bunch silent clones, it would be mind numbing.

[Rap43]

I use this exact situation when teaching advanced business English to Swedish business types - Small talk as we English speakers know it, only exists in very small pockets in Swedish culture. It does NOT exist at the grocery store.

The main place it DOES exist is inside of families and there, it is surprisingly similar to what we do day in and day out, whenever we meet and greet each other. Here though, small talk is very restricted and its inappropriate use borders on breaking a taboo. Your local clerks and cashiers probably know you better because you are that crazy Englishman who talks all the time. They chat back because you have triggered a reflex from deep inside the family; do this with caution.

Those who break societal norms and taboos are running risks. We chatting English speakers survive in the same way that a mentally challenged person survives in society - through the indulgence of society at large. If you chat on the wrong day or to the wrong person, you will quickly find yourself being shunned and actively avoided.

Listen the next time you are in a family setting in Sweden - small talk abounds. Next, listen out in the world - it is non-existent. I have personal theories (untested, unproven) about why this is, but on a daily basis, that matters little. If you want to blend into and fit into your community, adopt local camouflage and (in this case) plonk.

[entry]

So you are the guy who is holding up the long line of shoppers in a hurry by chatting with the cashier instead of letting her get on with the job she is paid to do

I can see how that could happen if the person were not like me. I have these frame-less Jansport backpacks and once I have the heavy, frozen, solid items on the belt I leave the wife to layout the rest as I pack. I am often done prior to the customer that was queued before me.

[entry]

I use this exact situation when teaching advanced business English to Swedish business types - Small talk as we English speakers know it, only exists in very small pockets in ... (show full quote)

I use this exact situation when teaching advanced business English to Swedish business types - Small talk as we English speakers know it, only exists in very small pockets in Swedish culture.[...] adopt local camouflage and (in this case) plonk. ... (hide full quote)

I can almost hear the mooing and the sound of the pneumatic bolt...

[PDX]

Just say "Hello, sweetheart" in your most British / US / whatever accent. I have seen it happen, that time it was met with laughter .

~~~PDX~~~

[skogsbo]

They chat back because you have triggered a reflex from deep inside the family; do this with caution. Those who break societal norms and taboos are running risks. If you want ... (show full quote)

They chat back because you have triggered a reflex from deep inside the family; do this with caution. Those who break societal norms and taboos are running risks. If you want to blend into and fit into your community, adopt local camouflage and (in this case) plonk. ... (hide full quote)

What utter B0llocks, do as you want, how you want. No one is going to dislike anybody who is polite and happy, regardless of who they talk to and how they talk. You think a Swede is going to dislike you as person or get shunned by the community just because you talk about the weather or the price of something at the till? I think you are making mountains out of molehills just to keep yourself in a job or extend your courses.

I find that many Swedes beyond family and immediate friends make small talk with me, asking curious questions about how things relate to the UK, what work I'm doing at the moment, the weather, anything ! Forget the stereotype, people are people no matter where you come from. If you appear happy and open, you get a similar response. Put your defenses up and be wary, as you are teaching your students, then the Swede will put their barrier up too.

If you want to blend and fit in, get out there, meet people and communicate.

[entry]

What utter B0llocks

You got that right skogsbo. obviously RAP43 teaches the pasty fat boys who hide in the corners and scurry in the basements spending all their time creating business policy manuals instead of closing deals and bringing in clients.
(those are the ones that complain and say: "I have been here 20-30 years but all the others make so much more money than me!")