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Are Swedish girls "off limits" for foreigners?

Why is this thread still here??

Opalnera
post 23.Apr.2012, 04:24 PM
Post #31
Joined: 16.Aug.2010

Some friends had some success here:

http://www.happypancake.com/StartPage.aspx

How is your Swedish? Many young Swedish girls are super uncomfortable speaking English and would not consider having an emotional relationship with someone they couldn't communicate with in their own language so...maybe that's your in, find a nice girl, share a bottle of wine, träna på svenska laugh.gif
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 23.Apr.2012, 10:35 PM
Post #32
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

QUOTE (chazza @ 23.Apr.2012, 03:42 AM) *
Maybe because unlike you they don't think their role in life is to mother guys and be their counsellors. could that be it ?sheesh !

Who best to Mother a man than a woman?

Surely not me!

Yours is the first negative post on this thread!

What guy dumped you, that you are so nasty to another woman trying to be where you once were?

Jealous???????

Or so lonely that????...you figure it out! cool.gif
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chazza
post 24.Apr.2012, 01:05 AM
Post #33
Location: Scandanavia
Joined: 15.May.2010

I have no idea what you are talking about old goat. especially this bit " that you are so nasty to another woman trying to be where you once were?" WTF ??
Most women want a partner who has cut the umbilical cord and has a healthy self confidence. Mothering is for children not for equal partenrs in a relationship... is all I'm saying. This guy need professional help not mothering. Maybe you don't get how most women don't feel the need to rush to assist guys who are are wallowing in self pity nor appreciate men who think it's what they should do.
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 24.Apr.2012, 02:30 AM
Post #34
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

What a bitter and unfeeling creature you are...do you mean women are so cold and indifferent to another's plight
that they would withhold human kindness and understanding to those who need it!

Believe me when I say this...please don't ever appreciate somebody like me...you could not imagine what it is to reach out to another in need...male or female...we all need a bit of help sometime...God forbid that we find you are a Nurse...we all die!
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chazza
post 24.Apr.2012, 03:45 AM
Post #35
Location: Scandanavia
Joined: 15.May.2010

Hah! what a drama queen you are laugh.gif
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adiman83
post 24.Apr.2012, 08:29 AM
Post #36
Joined: 22.Apr.2012

QUOTE (Opalnera @ 23.Apr.2012, 03:24 PM) *
Some friends had some success here:http://www.happypancake.com/StartPage.aspxHow is your Swedish? Many young Swedish girls are super uncomfortable speaking English and would n ... (show full quote)

My Swedish is practically non-existent. I'm taking some classes but it seems I'm not able to make any progress. This language just doesn't make any sense to me. And if most girls in this country would never consider having a relationship with someone they cannot communicate in their own language it means that the women in this country really are "off limits" to me and I will have to make peace with the idea of being single for the rest of my life. I have to get used to a life without any such opportunities.

And I really mean without opportunities: I work only with guys in an university and they're not interested in hanging out outside work - they literally said that; I cannot take any kind of evening course or club because they're in Swedish - I did ask if I can get along with english and they said "No, the only language is Swedish"; and I don't have an attraction to any kind of sport of outdoors activity - I never had such an attraction.

Apparently I really do need to concentrate solely on my work and scrap the total wreck of a personal life I had because that's obviously beyond repair. Work is all I have left at this point. I hope I'll get used to the idea eventually ... or my mind will just snap some day and then I really will not care any more I won't be capable of any kind of coherent thought any more.

After all, we all have to make some comprimises in life.
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Yorkshireman
post 24.Apr.2012, 10:54 AM
Post #37
Joined: 22.Nov.2011

QUOTE (adiman83 @ 24.Apr.2012, 07:29 AM) *
... it means that the women in this country really are "off limits" to me .... ... and scrap the total wreck of a personal life I had ...

1. No!... Remember that also approx 13+% of the Swedish population are non-Swedes by origin. Assuming a 50/50 split, that still means loads of girls You seem to be ruling out just because?... blink.gif

2. As for total wreck sad.gif ... Consider it in a different way, You have moved country, in a new environment, new culture, new people, You can also build a new YOU. So Yes! Dump the wreck of a social life, and concentrate on building a new YOU smile.gif
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skogsbo
post 24.Apr.2012, 10:55 AM
Post #38
Joined: 20.Sep.2011

QUOTE (adiman83 @ 24.Apr.2012, 07:29 AM) *
And if most girls in this country would never consider having a relationship with someone they cannot communicate in their own language -

Wrong, I bet a quarter of the posters on here met a Swedish partner before they spoke Swedish.

QUOTE (adiman83 @ 24.Apr.2012, 07:29 AM) *
I cannot take any kind of evening course or club because they're in Swedish -

It doesn't have to be formal class, it can be anything you are interested in. A photography club, history, drama anything.

Perhaps rather than decide what you can't do, you need to decide what you are going to do, perhaps doing something that doesn't thrill you, but expands your social circle is a better sacrifice to make, than giving up?

Look online, there are even many single holiday website and holiday companies, plan a holiday somewhere that you are interested in, you are guaranteed to meet like minded folk. Forget Uni people, expand beyond, mix and your Swedish will improve too.
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Mib
post 24.Apr.2012, 11:46 AM
Post #39
Joined: 7.Jul.2006

You seem to picking up on the comments that suit your thinking at the moment...and that is understandable if you're feeling low and frustrated about the situation. It is more difficult to communicate with someone where English is their 2nd language and seems a bigger hurdle when you're feeling low about your situation. However, you can overcome that if you are confident. You may talk to 20 women and maybe 18 will not be interested, but 2 will if you are confident in yourself. It's how you deal with the 18 women who says NO...that will determine if you get to the 2 who say YES.

The only real difference between you and someone who attracts women is their ability to hide their anxieties, negativities etc to the point that they come across to other people confident. They have managed to learn how to hide those feelings/thoughts when going out. Every person including top models have anxieties, negative views of certain parts of their personalities and body. You look at some of the top stars in the world and lots of them have addiction problems, seek counselling, have plastic surgery etc, yet they are supposed to be at the pinnacle end of something called "success".

I urge you to in fact ignore all the hurdles that you believe exist and get yourself out of your routine that's making you unhappy. If that means counselling or calling the samaritans and talking to someone over the phone (not too sure if that exists in Sweden. It should do) or just trying to join a group...do it. I mentioned meetup.com. They are worldwide and have lots of meetups in Stockholm and I'm sure they will be in your area. They are for expats, but lots of Swedish participate too and host lots of differnet groups ie. Swedish for beginners...ie go to a bar etc and talk Swedish...or organise a group to watch football or go trekking etc. The language is almost always English, so in my mind you have no excuse to NOT joing meetup.com, which is free to join and has many interests that you will find interesting. You need to stop listening to other negative comments from people and start getting out there. STOP the excuses...you will come through this dark cloud.

Have you heard the line "every dark cloud has a silver lining"? So if I have a bad day/experience etc I tell myself that something good is going to happen and it tends to end up that way. If you go out expecting to be miserable, then there's a 90% chance you will be. If you go out expecting to have a good time backed up by some effort from yourself, you will normally have a good time. If you react negatively to everytime you're knocked down, you will NOT get what you deserve. Trust me...go for it and in a years time you will look back and think...jesus was that me 12 months ago!!?
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klubbnika
post 24.Apr.2012, 02:52 PM
Post #40
Joined: 1.Feb.2012

QUOTE (Yorkshireman @ 22.Apr.2012, 03:52 PM) *
Actually once You get out and about You will find it is the opposite We non-Swedes most often come across as more charming and gentlemen, much more so than Swedish Men (Sorry ... (show full quote)

Yes, "come across" is a good word to describe the impression.
Until you show your sexist nature.
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Svensksmith
post 24.Apr.2012, 02:52 PM
Post #41
Joined: 28.Jul.2011

I hate to sound harsh, Adiman, but you need a verbal kick in the ass.

If what you seek is important to you, then you must be prepared to work for it. Sitting around whining and making up lame excuses isn't going to get you anywhere.

You CAN learn the language. You CAN improve your attitude. You CAN find a girlfriend. And a host of other things, too. If you are willing to work for it.

Plan A hasn't worked well for you. Time for Plan B. So get off your duff and go for it. Several posters here have left good advice. Take it to heart and give it a try. What have you got to lose?
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klubbnika
post 24.Apr.2012, 03:01 PM
Post #42
Joined: 1.Feb.2012

QUOTE (Gamla Hälsingebock @ 22.Apr.2012, 11:12 PM) *
Why aren't any women replying to this poor guys problem?Don't well intended gals have an idea how to help?... there must be women that have the same problem...meeting ... (show full quote)

Well, here is one.

If you are not attractive and not make an effort to be attractive, why would anyone be attracted to you?

I mean, the OP himself surely wants an attractive girl.

Doesn't have anything with desperation to do, but maybe with the attitude.
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adiman83
post 24.Apr.2012, 03:33 PM
Post #43
Joined: 22.Apr.2012

So you're basically saying I'm just not good looking enough? I can't really change my level of attractiveness, you know! It's in my genes and the last time I looked it was not really possible to change that.

So you mean that today's world is reserved only for the attractive ones, and the rest of us can just go screw ourselves and die alone?
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Svensksmith
post 24.Apr.2012, 03:39 PM
Post #44
Joined: 28.Jul.2011

Making excuses are just giving yourself permission to fail. Even Marty Feldman found a wife.
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skogsbo
post 24.Apr.2012, 03:57 PM
Post #45
Joined: 20.Sep.2011

QUOTE (klubbnika @ 24.Apr.2012, 02:01 PM) *
If you are not attractive and not make an effort to be attractive, why would anyone be attracted to you?

QUOTE (adiman83 @ 24.Apr.2012, 02:33 PM) *
So you mean that today's world is reserved only for the attractive ones, and the rest of us can just go screw ourselves and die alone?

OP, just ignore klubb or 'baconcabbage' one of her other troll alter egos. You can be grateful you won't bump into her in Gbg as she is a Londoner not a Swede now. wink.gif

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, most 'normal' girls would prefer an average looker who have other attributes, more than a male model who is a complete ar$e and spends more time in the bathroom getting ready than her. Which is one reason why many Swedish lassie don't go for Swedish men.
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