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Are Swedish girls "off limits" for foreigners?

Why is this thread still here??

Svensksmith
post 22.Jan.2013, 06:09 PM
Post #451
Joined: 28.Jul.2011

Timothy Leary back from the grave...the ultimate flashback.
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foreign_legion
post 27.Jan.2013, 09:53 PM
Post #452
Joined: 27.Jan.2013

I'm a Swedish guy in my 30s, I realize that this thread is about foreigners having difficulty to meet girls, but I still want to share my own experiences.

I never had much luck in finding girls in Sweden but I have noticed how much easier foreigners have to find girls here. I think there are several causes to why it is so difficult for a normal Swedish guy. First of all, the culture here is not very sociable, Swedes don't small talk or flirt, and we prefer not to make eye-contact with strangers. For example, in the house I live, and even in my workplace, it is common that upon meeting someone in the common areas, we usually look down in the floor and stay quiet. I don't know how common this is in other countries, but at least my experiences from traveling have been on the contrary.

Even in bars or clubs in my city, Stockholm, it is very rare that you actually get to know new people. Most Swedes hang around in their established social groups, and if you are not apart of this exclusive unit, then you are not going to get in that easy. This is why going to bars alone doesn't work here, except for getting a drink or listening to music. Swedes are generally shy. You can't start a conversation with someone at random, except if sufficient amounts of alcohol have been consumed. I have been turned down many times when initiating conversations with girls in bars or clubs, often in very rude ways. If you start talking with someone you don't know, even in a bar, then you are immediately tagged as suspicious - because this is not the common behaviour.

If you are an average Swedish guy like me, then it's going to be difficult, because as was mentioned earlier, everyone is basically at the same level here. If you are a foreigner then you are at least a little exotic, and some girls will find that interesting.

So if you are single guy in your 30s there are basically two options, either you sign-up for online dating, which I think is intrinsically broken. When I tried online dating, it involved sending many more letters than responses, therefore I have a hard time to believe that online dating can be useful for anyone (except for the companies cashing in the money). The second option is to leave Sweden, which is the option I have chosen. There is no reason to stay here if you are not happy - the world is out there, go and get it.
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Migga
post 27.Jan.2013, 10:38 PM
Post #453
Joined: 26.Jul.2011

QUOTE (foreign_legion @ 27.Jan.2013, 09:53 PM) *
Swedes don't small talk or flirt.

You are a grown man in your 30s, do you actually belive this? Or are you just saying this to exaggerate and make a point?

QUOTE (foreign_legion @ 27.Jan.2013, 09:53 PM) *
For example, in the house I live, and even in my workplace, it is common that upon meeting someone in the common areas, we usually look down in the floor and stay quiet.

How do you know what the person you walk past is doing if you are staring at the floor?

QUOTE (foreign_legion @ 27.Jan.2013, 09:53 PM) *
So if you are single guy in your 30s there are basically two options, either you sign-up for online dating, which I think is intrinsically broken. When I tried online dating, ... (show full quote)

I`d say that there are a million other options to do. The first option I`d suggest is that you stop thinking about Swedish girls in general terms and stop thinking they are all the same. Put on a big smile, walk up to one, ask how she is doing and tell her that you think she is beautiful. If she`s interested then fine, otherwise you move on in life.
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 27.Jan.2013, 10:57 PM
Post #454
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

I love the last two sentences...

now will you whiners take his advice...

or "keep on bitchen"? cool.gif
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Skugglegend
post 28.Jan.2013, 12:50 AM
Post #455
Location: United Kingdom
Joined: 8.Jan.2013

QUOTE (foreign_legion @ 27.Jan.2013, 09:53 PM) *
I'm a Swedish guy in my 30s, I realize that this thread is about foreigners having difficulty to meet girls, but I still want to share my own experiences.I never had much ... (show full quote)

I can agree in some points about what you´re writing. I don´t think all Swedish guys are like that but for me personal I prefer guys from other countries...maybe exotic yes...but also because I find that many Swedish guys are too insecure when It comes to flirting. Too drunk or insecure when they start a conversation. And I also like how guys I meet from other countries not obvious talk to you because they want something...they just start talk...about anything
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Yorkshireman
post 28.Jan.2013, 01:00 AM
Post #456
Joined: 22.Nov.2011

QUOTE (Skugglegend @ 28.Jan.2013, 12:50 AM) *
And I also like how guys I meet from other countries not obvious talk to you because they want something...they just start talk...about anything

How little you know about Men! rolleyes.gif
biggrin.gif
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 28.Jan.2013, 01:41 AM
Post #457
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

Amen!

She sounds easy...Oh no! I meant friendly! laugh.gif
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Skugglegend
post 28.Jan.2013, 02:18 PM
Post #458
Location: United Kingdom
Joined: 8.Jan.2013

QUOTE (Yorkshireman @ 28.Jan.2013, 01:00 AM) *
How little you know about Men! rolleyes.gif. biggrin.gif

Haha I just meant...they just not do It THAT obvious wink.gif
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oddsock
post 28.Jan.2013, 04:15 PM
Post #459
Joined: 19.Dec.2008

QUOTE (Skugglegend @ 28.Jan.2013, 12:50 AM) *
And I also like how guys I meet from other countries not obvious talk to you because they want something...they just start talk...about anything

Yes, I often talk to random people in many various situations just because I want to. It doesn't mean I want to sleep with them haha... I will talk to women, men, old ladies, whatever.

I get the feeling in Swedish nightlife people only talk to each other when they have erm, one thing on their mind. So I do find if I talk to a random girl she won't even acknowledge me if she is not interested in me (and she assumes that I am interested in her just because I am talking to her, which is not necessarily the case). And also when I talk to guys they get very uncomfortable, thinking I am gay and hitting on them or something.

It's a bit of a meat market out there, to be honest.

Case in point is Migga suggesting that you go up to a girl and tell her she is beautiful. I have never done this, I would consider it a shallow thing to go. I go up to a girl/guy/person and start a conversation about stuff. If it's a girl and there's a click, then great. If there is no click, then great, I met a new person.
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skogsbo
post 28.Jan.2013, 04:56 PM
Post #460
Joined: 20.Sep.2011

QUOTE (Skugglegend @ 28.Jan.2013, 12:50 AM) *
. And I also like how guys I meet from other countries not obvious talk to you because they want something...they just start talk...about anything

ah the innocence, guys don't have female best friends, unless the guy is gay. A straight guy will be just investing his time for the long haul, hoping to get his goal one day.

QUOTE (Yorkshireman @ 28.Jan.2013, 01:00 AM) *
How little you know about Men! rolleyes.gif. biggrin.gif

So true.

QUOTE (oddsock @ 28.Jan.2013, 04:15 PM) *
Case in point is Migga suggesting that you go up to a girl and tell her she is beautiful. I have never done this, I would consider it a shallow thing to go. I go up to a girl/ ... (show full quote)

Going in cold, is just a waste of time and resources. Better to work some eye contact to see if the interest is mutual, perhaps a well timed crossing of paths to or from the toilets, or just a 'chance' meeting stood at the bar waiting for drinks. You'll soon sense if she's worth going up to chatting some more. Better to get a good spot to stand and people watch, never alone though, you'll look desperate, you need at least 1 or 2 mates.

Spread these resources over 5 or 10 lassies though the night, then you can chat to the likely ones later, not the no hopers. You don't want the other lassies watching you get rejected time and again, before you finally give her a go at 3am! She'll know you are weird or desperate, which you probably are, but don't give it away!!
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oddsock
post 28.Jan.2013, 05:11 PM
Post #461
Joined: 19.Dec.2008

Following girls to the toilet? Sounds like stalking to me. tongue.gif

Just hit the dancefloor and have fun while all the other guys spend the whole night against the wall with their "wingmen" coming up "tactics".
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skogsbo
post 28.Jan.2013, 05:19 PM
Post #462
Joined: 20.Sep.2011

QUOTE (oddsock @ 28.Jan.2013, 05:11 PM) *
Just hit the dancefloor and have fun while

nothing wrong with making some shapes, just don't act like John Travolta, unless you can really dance like him!!
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Migga
post 28.Jan.2013, 07:16 PM
Post #463
Joined: 26.Jul.2011

QUOTE (oddsock @ 28.Jan.2013, 04:15 PM) *
Case in point is Migga suggesting that you go up to a girl and tell her she is beautiful. I have never done this, I would consider it a shallow thing to go. I go up to a girl/ ... (show full quote)

Well my main point was hardly to call a girl beautiful, my point was that if you want to meet a Swedish girl then your best bet is to go up and talk to one. Busting out dancemoves on the dancefloor or waiting by the toilets will never have the same success rate.
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oddsock
post 28.Jan.2013, 07:31 PM
Post #464
Joined: 19.Dec.2008

But I don't dance to seduce women, I dance if I like the music and I feel like dancing. Sometimes I'll talk to people on the dancefloor.

I talk to people all of the time and everywhere. And some people have a problem with this...
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your_father
post 25.Feb.2013, 09:52 PM
Post #465
Joined: 3.Feb.2013

I think I'm joining in the club here. I have been studying in Sweden for some time already and yes as many people have said that many Swedish girls are physically attractive, I do agree on that. For me, although physical appearance does play a role, other things are more important too. However, I have never actually thought about asking a Swedish girl out before. I am also by default, a shy person (only when it comes to dating and asking a girl out, but in other aspects I am not a shy person). Then unexpected things happened. There was a girl in my class who when I first saw I thought that she was pretty, but I'd never imagined that we would even speak (for those of you who are here will probably know how difficult it is to interact with other people here. I'm not just talking about going up to chat with girls, but even guys as friends too in general. Exchanging some few sentences sure, but many times it does not go beyond that). I have met some nice Swedish people here so it would be extremely unfair to them to say this, but for the most part this is the case. So one day I had the chance to know her due to class-related stuff and I realized how interesting she is as a person. I really liked her personality and was interested in knowing more about her. After that day, we would sometimes speak in the classroom, but briefly. I wouldn't say that I got to know her better after that day and being the shy guy that I am, I didn't dared to even ask her out. Then the class came to an end and I missed her. I decided to ask her out (which was a big step for me because I have to admit I'd never asked a girl out before in my whole life) and was very happy that she did went out with me. I really felt that our first "date" went really well and believed that we both had a great time. Well that was quite a while ago. Things have now taken a completely twisted turn. I honestly don't know what happened, but now I feel very confused. One day it's hot, the other day she can be so cold to me (via text messaging/phone communication). I feel as if that it's going to be more likely that I am going to be rejected now and for some reason that I am not even aware of. I mean if she's going to reject me, I would prefer that she be straight forward about it right away. It would be a lot more merciful and nicer than torturing someone (me) like this.
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