(edit title) How to steal a girlfriend from my colleague. She likes me but I'm a bit confused how to act? Options

[Boar]

This is a bit complicated one. We are a couple of friends who hangout and chat and eat ecological food. Discuss many things. We are like a group of 10 people who meet randomly.
It's a mix of couples and singles.
I and 3 other colleagues work in same place. Recently, I left my job and trying to educate myself to find another job. But, my colleagues are still working in same place.
I know a girl in our friends circle since an year. She is a kind person. She works, and she lives as inneboende in middle of Stockholm. She has a boyfriend (one of my colleague, but he and me are not closely related) and he lives outside Stockholm. Recently she vacated and moved into one of my friend's (one of my colleague, who already lives with his girlfriend) Radhus. In fact I know this girl through my colleague. So, 3 people share the Radhus. They know each other since 3 years.
The thing is this girl doesn't live with her boyfriend. In fact now she lives as inneboende with my friend and his girlfriend. I visit my friend often and chat with him and his girlfriend and also with this girl. Sometimes her boyfriend visits too. We all hangout together.
The girl also tries to flirt with me very rarely. I do not know what is in her mind. She gives me a warm hug each time I visit my friend, without any hesitation. I never flirt with her but sometimes I slightly criticize her. She makes tea and sometimes food each time I visit. I know her since an year and yet did not ask her mobile number. I know everybody's number except hers.
I do not know what kind of relationship the girl has with her boyfriend. I feel something strange each time I meet her. But, I feel their relationship is not very strong. She asks me how I am and once she asked what I will do the next day which was Sunday. Now, the question is what to do? Should I ask her number or not?

[bobthedog]

How close are you to your former colleague ? Are you prepared to fight him for the girl ? You will of course lose a friend and gain a lover if you succeed so you should consider the relative benefit of both.

I suggest you make a move on the girl directly, next time you find yourselves eating ecological food together pay her complements, such as "you are as sweet as these lentils", or engage her mind with intellectual and challenging repartee. You could suggest for instance exploring biodiversity between yourselves, in private.

On the other hand your colleage has a job and will be able to tempt the girl in question with gifts and the prospect of financial security. So you will have to demonstrate your superiority in other ways, perhaps you could play the tormented intellectual or struggling artist.. love poems and serenades will do the trick.

Good luck and please keep us all update with the progress of the chase.

Matchmaker

[Shibumi]

Do you have other signs that she likes you apart from the greeting hugs and her asking you once what your Sunday plans were? Because if that's it... it ain't much. If you come on to her and she is not interested, you will take the risk of making things very awkward within the group of friends... potentially making yourself no longer welcome within that circle. Try flirting a little more obviously to see how she responds before you take that risk.

[sometimesinsweden]

Carpe diem.

go for it. alls fair in love and war and your not-so-close friend should understand this as a man. you'll always find more friends, but not necessarily the love of your life.

[Garry Jones]

What's the point?

If you did get together with her you would always be looking over your shoulder thinking if she did it to him she could do it to you,

Find someone else, there are plenty more fish in the sea even if Sweden is mainly full of lakes.

[Boar]

The colleague of me is not a friend of me like the other colleagues. We just talk but not very much. It doesn't matter if he will argue with me or not.
I think I need to flirt more as I flirted very less before and will see what happens. Now, she traveled and will come back after a week and I will visit after a week or 10 days. As, I will give her some time to adjust here.

[Boar]

Do you have other signs that she likes you apart from the greeting hugs and her asking you once what your Sunday plans were? Because if that's it... it ain't much. If ... (show full quote)

Do you have other signs that she likes you apart from the greeting hugs and her asking you once what your Sunday plans were? Because if that's it... it ain't much. If you come on to her and she is not interested, you will take the risk of making things very awkward within the group of friends... potentially making yourself no longer welcome within that circle. Try flirting a little more obviously to see how she responds before you take that risk. ... (hide full quote)

Thanks. I will try to flirt more. Yeah there were other signs also like pushing me a bit with her shoulder and making a bit fun about my appearance.

[Snoopy!]

Boar the other repercussions of this is that you will live up to your pseudonym .

[larryfishkin]

Your story seems to be very-very-very complicated but I think you should talk about this with your friends. But before it you need some solid proof to make take them in your confidence.

[Boar]

Yes. It's true, I need to discuss with my friends. But, only with the main friend. But, this main friend is also close to me as well as to the girl's boyfriend too. In fact those 2 guys know each other longer than I know them. One of my other colleague and his girlfriend think that the girl's boyfriend is just selfish or too much privacy kind of person. And, he doesn't have much friends. I know more people in the circle than he does.

My friend and his girlfriend are the main persons in the friends circle. I want to discuss this matter with my friend and his girlfriend. But, I am embarrassed on how to discuss it. We just go around in the city somewhere in my car sometimes. The thing is the girl only came with me when there is my friend or his girlfriend. We never went out together. As, I never asked before and she never asked before. Now. both girls are in UK. they will come after a week one after the other.

It's a little unfaithful about me to think about her. But, I was suspecting that they just have a fake relationship. I feel that she is hiding something. They meet very randomly and once I and two other friends(couple) were leaving the place and all friends were sending us off near the door, and her boyfriend was trying to hold her from the back. After some seconds, she did not know how to react or something, Funnily she knew that and I was looking down and later when I looked slowly up she told that she wanted to throw the garbage out in the mean time. The garbage bag was just beside the door. She got rid of him and she came out along with the other two main friends. As soon as she got rid of him her boyfriend felt a bit inconvenience or something and he just sat beside the computer. He was looking on computer. And all came out but he was alone. I told good bye to him and came out too. It was raining. I was having a towel on my shoulder which I forgot and was taking along with me. I just stood there for a while and she threw the garbage fast and stood beside me quietly and took my towel from my shoulders and kept in on her head and later put it back and gave me a hug before running inside without talking much.

[Svensksmith]

Ask her if she has any cute girlfriends to hook you up with.

[Mzungu]

If feelings are reciprocal,what are you waiting for?

*go for it mate*

[Boar]

Her Boyfriend is a handsome guy and he could be 28. The girl is 26 and I am 34. I am not sure if the girl knows my age. I look a bit younger according to my age. I am just afraid about my age.

[David S]

My GF was 26 and I was 36 when we met. We've now been together 8 years and have 2 kids. So I wouldn't worry about the age

When you get the chance just say to her something like "I know you've got a boyfriend, but if that doesn't work out, let me know, I'd like to take you to dinner" and see how she responds.

[Shibumi]

When you get the chance just say to her something like "I know you've got a boyfriend, but if that doesn't work out, let me know, I'd like to take you to dinn ... (show full quote)

When you get the chance just say to her something like "I know you've got a boyfriend, but if that doesn't work out, let me know, I'd like to take you to dinner" and see how she responds. ... (hide full quote)

Great suggestion David S... shows respect (for her and her BF), ethics and interest-- all in one short sentence that does not put her on the spot nor demand a response. Make sure you deliver it without making her feel like she should respond and just let it ripen in her mind. If she's interested, she'll let you know.