(edit title) It is cold in Sweden I am not talking about the weather Options

[Dodgerman]

I live in Västerås and am an Aussie. I have friends from Stockholm, Goteborg, Malmö, Jonköping and Lund. All are in the age bracket of 20 to 35. Majority are Swedish and some are Aussie and British. All the foreigners have the same view as you do, including myself. All the swedes see it, acknowledge it and want it to change but do nothing about it.

Swedes don't stand up and protest, they prefer to moan about it over 'fika'.

I have learned to accept it and move on but can't help and do my part... I say 'hej' to the majority of people on the street, especially if they look at me as they walk by and I am as friendly as possible to anyone I can have a conversation with.

My girlfriend (Swedish) says that people will just think I have a screw loose or am drunk but all my swedish friends that have witnessed me do this, have jumped on the band wagon and are now doing it themselves.

Swedes would rather get rained on while waiting for a bus then sit within 30cm of another human being.

All of you that whinge and moan about the unfriendliness of swedes, look at yourself in the mirror and do something about it.

I can see where you are coming from, I lived in South East Asia for 3 years and 99% of the swedes I met were lovely, outgoing people. It was a shock to the system when I made the big move here. It gets better, you just have to try harder than usual.

[Emerentia]

Why is it so wrong to mind your own business on the train or on the bus? I'm usually tired after work, usually talking to people all day, so I enjoy some silence or listen to some music or a audio book or someting. I'm perfectly happy sitting there listening to my book, even if I don't have some crazy smile all over my face, laughing loudly. What's happiness to you might not be the same to other people. That doesn't make me an unfriendly person. I find it rather rude to intrude and distrurb and start to talk to someone, to ignore the signals that that person wants to be left alone. More rude than not doing so.

And when foreign men do make contact and likes to chat, 9/10 don't just want to be friendly and just talk for a while waiting for the bus, within a minute or less they try to pick you up. Happens all the time. I don't mind talking to a strangers, I talk to little old ladies all the time. Because I know that those men probably want something else than just to talk about the weather for a while. If I ask them, do most girls and women in your country usually talk to strange men on the street or the bus they usually say that they dont. Why then expect me to do so? These men are usually not interested to talk to Swedes in general, not the little old lady, not that man, not those guys, they ignore all of them, it's just the Swedish girls they want to talk to, and when the girls don't want them, then the Swedish people are so rude and unfriendly in general.

[cogito]

... if I don't have some crazy smile all over my face,...

Smile=Crazy. Only in Sweden.

[Migga]

While I have heard that Stockholm is the most unfriendly city in Sweden.The larger majority of residents in Stockholm are Swedes from other towns.So if you think Stockholm is ... (show full quote)

While I have heard that Stockholm is the most unfriendly city in Sweden.
The larger majority of residents in Stockholm are Swedes from other towns.

So if you think Stockholm is unfriendly, its simply a greater reflection of Sweden and Swedes in general (rather than Stockholmers).

Personally I like that Stockholm has so many non Swedes in it.
It adds diversity and there is almost a secret handshake or understanding between the black sheep of friendliness in an attempt to not be dragged to far down. ... (hide full quote)

Ah yes, Sweden and Stockholm is nice because of all the none Swedes in it. The Swedes themselves are cold, unhappy, insecure and jealous robots.

I live in Västerås and am an Aussie. I have friends from Stockholm, Goteborg, Malmö, Jonköping and Lund. All are in the age bracket of 20 to 35. Majority are Swedish and some ... (show full quote)

I live in Västerås and am an Aussie. I have friends from Stockholm, Goteborg, Malmö, Jonköping and Lund. All are in the age bracket of 20 to 35. Majority are Swedish and some are Aussie and British. All the foreigners have the same view as you do, including myself. All the swedes see it, acknowledge it and want it to change but do nothing about it.

Swedes don't stand up and protest, they prefer to moan about it over 'fika'.

I have learned to accept it and move on but can't help and do my part... I say 'hej' to the majority of people on the street, especially if they look at me as they walk by and I am as friendly as possible to anyone I can have a conversation with.

My girlfriend (Swedish) says that people will just think I have a screw loose or am drunk but all my swedish friends that have witnessed me do this, have jumped on the band wagon and are now doing it themselves.

Swedes would rather get rained on while waiting for a bus then sit within 30cm of another human being.

All of you that whinge and moan about the unfriendliness of swedes, look at yourself in the mirror and do something about it.

I can see where you are coming from, I lived in South East Asia for 3 years and 99% of the swedes I met were lovely, outgoing people. It was a shock to the system when I made the big move here. It gets better, you just have to try harder than usual. ... (hide full quote)

Why should they change because of what others think? Why should Swedes change because someone from Australia or Britain thinks they are unfriendly? I sure wouldn`t wanna live in a world where everyone acted and behaved the same. What if Swedes show warmth, respect, friendliness and care in their own way? Perhaps there isn`t a universal law of how to be friendly? Why is it considerd to be worse in Sweden just because one is used to something else? That seems narrowminded. You yourself claim that things get better if you try harder, then it must have been worse before. Who is to blame for things to be considerd "worse"?

[Hisingen]

Why should they change because of what others think? Why should Swedes change because someone from Australia or Britain thinks they are unfriendly? I sure wouldn't want to ... (show full quote)

Why should they change because of what others think? Why should Swedes change because someone from Australia or Britain thinks they are unfriendly? I sure wouldn't want to live in a world where everyone acted and behaved the same. What if Swedes show warmth, respect, friendliness and care in their own way? Perhaps there isn't a universal law of how to be friendly? Why is it considered to be worse in Sweden just because one is used to something else? That seems narrow-minded. You yourself claim that things get better if you try harder, then it must have been worse before. Who is to blame for things to be considered "worse"? ... (hide full quote)

My sentiments exactly, and something I have endeavoured to express previously. Sweden is what it is, the Swedes are who they are. If any change is needed, then it is for them to decide if and what, and how. It is not for dissatisfied immigrants who come from other cultures and wonder why they don't fit in. The same goes for any country, where immigrants do not find things to their liking. I have seen it in the UK and in Finland, and it makes me wonder about the mentality of those people. If Swedes complain about other Swedes then that is their prerogative, as it is for Brits in the UK about other Brits. But for immigrants to want changes to suit them - that is a no-go. Either put up or shut up. The immigrant is the guest and should accept the host for what he/she is.
Usually I get shouted down by others who think that they have a say in the way this country should be - according to them. It makes me wonder about their mentality in such circumstances. My feelings are the same, whether it is the UK or Sweden, or even any other country for that matter. But try telling that to other obstinate immigrants.

[Bender B Rodriquez]

Smile=Crazy. Only in Sweden.

It is quite common in Denmark and Germany too, but then it is interpreted as someone with dishonest intentions rather than a lunatic, at least that's what my German friends tell me.

http://german.about.com/library/weekly/aa080299.htm

[Migga]

My sentiments exactly, and something I have endeavoured to express previously. Sweden is what it is, the Swedes are who they are. If any change is needed, then it is for them ... (show full quote)

My sentiments exactly, and something I have endeavoured to express previously. Sweden is what it is, the Swedes are who they are. If any change is needed, then it is for them to decide if and what, and how. It is not for dissatisfied immigrants who come from other cultures and wonder why they don't fit in. The same goes for any country, where immigrants do not find things to their liking. I have seen it in the UK and in Finland, and it makes me wonder about the mentality of those people. If Swedes complain about other Swedes then that is their prerogative, as it is for Brits in the UK about other Brits. But for immigrants to want changes to suit them - that is a no-go. Either put up or shut up. The immigrant is the guest and should accept the host for what he/she is.
Usually I get shouted down by others who think that they have a say in the way this country should be - according to them. It makes me wonder about their mentality in such circumstances. My feelings are the same, whether it is the UK or Sweden, or even any other country for that matter. But try telling that to other obstinate immigrants.

... (hide full quote)

I agree with most of what you write but I don`t think people from other cultures should shut up. They have the right to voice their opinion. What I wish for is that they and other people would think abit more. Who decides or defines what`s "better","worse", "friendly", unfriendly", "cold", "varm", "outgoing", "respectful", "disrespectful", "good manners", "bad manners" and so on? Is it the all-knowing Britts? The almighty Americans? The ozzie? My point is that one should discuss it and perhaps one will come to an understanding that we are all humans but everyone isn`t identical. But that doesn`t make us any better or worse from eachother. Or cold and unfriendly as in this case.

[Hisingen]

Yes, I said put up or shut up. that said, you are right also up to a point. They should not expect to be the overriding factor. Shut up - to the point of not decrying the Swedes -or resident nationality depending upon country. Discussion is always a good thing, but the immigrant is STILL the guest and should not forget it.
For example I have been in this country longer than most on here, and there are still things I find that go against 'my' grain. But since I am still a guest, and the things that are against my grain are not so for the Swedes, therefore it is up to me to either to shut up or put up. I am not here to make them change. If perhaps there are circumstances where any change is something the hosts find that they also want to change then it is a different matter. Otherwise I must bite the bullet. The same goes for all those who gripe about the 'coldness' of the Swedes. It is little different to that which occurs in the UK.
I was evacuated during the war to a village that had never experienced Londoners before. We were little different to foreigners there in the village, but for me, despite my uncle having married a girl from the village several years previously thereby building a link, and my parents often visiting, I was still one of those 'foreigners'. You can have connections but still be 'not one of them'. That existed for ages, until I had lived there for some twenty years.
Now many coming here have no connection with Sweden, and are not often considering remaining here for any length of time. So not unnaturally they are regarded as foreigners, and likely to remain so. Where I live now, it is a relatively new residential area (some 30 years old) so consequently we are all newcomers (me since 2003) and although I am a Brit, I am regarded as a resident just like my neighbours, and we all greet one another whenever we meet. There is no coldness or reserve. It was a little different when I lived in the city. There I was definitely a newcomer, as were one or two of my neighbours, but coldness - no. Reserve - yes, but is that so unnatural? I think not.
Oh dear, the tendency to get on my hobby-horse. Sorry ! !

[Kn33grow]

Its funny how you cant have an opinion in Sweden and say what you dont like it here. Yes its true nobody is holding me in Sweden against my wish but its just idiotic to tell someone to put up or pack your bags.

And yes i acknowledge that anybody who tries to change the Swedes is disillusioned and is just wasting his time but even an immigrant has a right to say what he doesnt like in Sweden. I just wouldnt tell it to the Swedes.

Nobody likes to hear the truth but the Swedes are totally on a different level. While they are supposedly to be civilized,cultured,democratic (and so on and so forth) contrary to us lesser mortals,the moment you criticize them you will see their true colors.

[mångk]

I agree with most of what you write but I don`t think people from other cultures should shut up. They have the right to voice their opinion. What I wish for is that they a ... (show full quote)

I agree with most of what you write but I don`t think people from other cultures should shut up. They have the right to voice their opinion. What I wish for is that they and other people would think abit more. Who decides or defines what`s "better","worse", "friendly", unfriendly", "cold", "varm", "outgoing", "respectful", "disrespectful", "good manners", "bad manners" and so on? Is it the all-knowing Britts? The almighty Americans? The ozzie? My point is that one should discuss it and perhaps one will come to an understanding that we are all humans but everyone isn`t identical. But that doesn`t make us any better or worse from eachother. Or cold and unfriendly as in this case. ... (hide full quote)

Its funny how you cant have an opinion in Sweden and say what you dont like it here. Yes its true nobody is holding me in Sweden against my wish but its just idiotic to tell s ... (show full quote)

Its funny how you cant have an opinion in Sweden and say what you dont like it here. Yes its true nobody is holding me in Sweden against my wish but its just idiotic to tell someone to put up or pack your bags.

And yes i acknowledge that anybody who tries to change the Swedes is disillusioned and is just wasting his time but even an immigrant has a right to say what he doesnt like in Sweden. I just wouldnt tell it to the Swedes.

Nobody likes to hear the truth but the Swedes are totally on a different level. While they are supposedly to be civilized,cultured,democratic (and so on and so forth) contrary to us lesser mortals,the moment you criticize them you will see their true colors. ... (hide full quote)

Alternatively one could learn the culture and have an opinion based upon that rather than an opinion based upon ignorance!

You don't need to say hello, ask about ones entire life, family history and discuss mundane things like the weather to be 'warm'.

Learn a little about body language in Sweden as this is the main form of communication on the street in a place like Stockholm. You will learn when people are saying don't bother or 'hej!' in a non-verbal manner.

You can then learn to speak the same language!

[Gamla Hälsingebock]

If you criticize anyone for being what they are, you're in for it...Swedes are no different from anyone else.

Put yourself in that position...being criticised...and see what your reaction is.

"judge not lest ye be judged"

[Kn33grow]

judge not lest ye be judged

Tell that to all the idiots saying immigrant this immigrant that.

Look,i have transformed to being critical of Sweden and to just shrugging off my shoulders and moving on. What i hate is the double standards,they have a monopoly and they are the only ones who can tell others what is right or wrong.

[Hisingen]

. ...Nobody likes to hear the truth but the Swedes are totally on a different level. While they are supposedly to be civilized,cultured,democratic (and so on and so forth) con ... (show full quote)

. ...Nobody likes to hear the truth but the Swedes are totally on a different level. While they are supposedly to be civilized,cultured,democratic (and so on and so forth) contrary to us lesser mortals,the moment you criticize them you will see their true colours. ... (hide full quote)

Sure you can have an opinion in Sweden and say what you don’t like, but is it honestly idiotic to tell someone to put up or pack your bags? As a guest, it matters not one iota whether it is Sweden, the UK or wherever, you cannot in all honesty expect the host to be the one who has to change, and as a guest you are being exceedingly impolite to criticize the host to his/her face. The Swedes are not on such a different level as you infer. Or do you think that it is you who are on a different level (a lesser mortal as you put it)? An inferiority complex, perhaps?
If you, as a foreigner, criticize Britain, to a Brit, in the UK, and you will be met with the same reaction “Who the hell are you to criticize my country?” Yet you will hear that same Brit agreeing more often than not, if the conversation is Brit to Brit. It is a natural reaction. We can all run down our own and point out our shortcomings, but heaven help us if it is a guest who tries the same thing. It is pretty well human nature to react thus, to ‘defend our property’ - in this case our country. Your tone “While they are supposed to be civilized, cultured, democratic” seems to indicate your state of mind, and your attitude towards your hosts, and in consequence it ought not to be easy to understand the way you perhaps experience Swedes’ reaction. Of course much depends upon your tone of voice, and your relationship with the person to whom you are voicing your criticism. Among good friends there should be little disagreement. You could even find agreement. Otherwise you will meet that coldness, just as a Swede would in the UK. We are all only human, after all. And your true colours ? ? ?

[djmarko]

what about the swedes that were born to foreign parents, are they considered guests?? sometimes when people here refer to others as immigrants, i get a bit confused as to who they consider immigrants, just saying!

[Hamsterdam]

I also wonder whether foreign born Swedish citizens are also guests? Or foreign born with Swedish husband/wife and kids? Want some more examples?

Being called a guest is ignorance of the highest order. But it is I suppose expected on this forum