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How much to pay ex?

When parents earn considerably differently

Beef
post 8.Apr.2013, 12:13 PM
Post #1
Location: Stockholm
Joined: 7.Feb.2006

Hi,

Just wondering, when I broke up with my ex 5 or so years ago I made a crazy agreement where she recevied most of our wealth plus I agreed to pay her 5000 each month for 5 years. This dumb agreement (made when I was at an all time low) is coming to an end in July thank God.

I don't want to cause distress but just trying to attain the facts based on a formula if possible which I'm struggling to find by googling round, searching Försäkringskassan etc..

Current facts.

We have joint custody. The 2 kids are under 10 and spend about 45% of their time with me on a regular rota.

I'm currently unemployed too but should be getting work again soon, I hope..

She currently earns as a guess 29000 per month max and gets the barnbidrag. We split the cost of dagis/fritids plus activities.

I'll probably earn around 40-45000 once gaining employment..

Anyone know of a formula or something similar which states if I need to, and if so, how much pay her every month? I've read that this is when one salary is much higher than the other? What is much? Is just my salary taken into account of the income of my wife too?

I've booked a lawyer but would rather save the cost if anyone knows how to work this out.

Many thanks in advance locallers!
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intrepidfox
post 8.Apr.2013, 12:20 PM
Post #2
Location: Gothenburg
Joined: 18.Jul.2012

Really you should not pay anything.
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mångk
post 8.Apr.2013, 12:30 PM
Post #3
Joined: 27.Jul.2008

http://www.forsakringskassan.se/privatpers...nderhallsbidrag

There is a calculator there as well to use as a guide.
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John.Smith
post 8.Apr.2013, 12:31 PM
Post #4
Location: Sweden
Joined: 12.Sep.2011

As far as I know you are under no obligation to pay anything. The costs are taken 50-50 for everything.
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intrepidfox
post 8.Apr.2013, 12:34 PM
Post #5
Location: Gothenburg
Joined: 18.Jul.2012

QUOTE (mångk @ 8.Apr.2013, 11:30 AM) *

I agree with the link. He should have not paid his ex anything apart from underhållsbidrag (apart from sharing their assets which they had when together) but as he has the children 45% of the time he is also entitled to a reduction and he would definatally not have to pay his ex any extras in the past, present or future. I would advise the OP to go to the lawyer just for clarification.
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mångk
post 8.Apr.2013, 12:40 PM
Post #6
Joined: 27.Jul.2008

Also the OP should have a look at this:

http://www.forsakringskassan.se/privatpers.../underhallstod/

When the OP has a job then he can work out what he wants to pay, but given he has the children @50% it would be his choice.
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Beef
post 8.Apr.2013, 12:56 PM
Post #7
Location: Stockholm
Joined: 7.Feb.2006

Thanks but underhållsbidrag should not apply in my case!? I had read somewhere that I would have to contribute so that their lifestyle would be in balance in both homes, that being if I get a job with a much larger salary? Just not sure how much larger it would have to be?
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intrepidfox
post 8.Apr.2013, 01:02 PM
Post #8
Location: Gothenburg
Joined: 18.Jul.2012

Sweden is not like other countries where you have to pay alimony to your ex.. Go to the solicitor and have a chat anyway. It would be worth it. I am 100% certain that you do not have to pay anymore money. I have gone through this as well many years ago
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mångk
post 8.Apr.2013, 01:14 PM
Post #9
Joined: 27.Jul.2008

QUOTE (Beef @ 8.Apr.2013, 01:56 PM) *
Thanks but underhållsbidrag should not apply in my case!? I had read somewhere that I would have to contribute so that their lifestyle would be in balance in both homes, ... (show full quote)

That is where you would use the calculator to get an guide of what to pay.

Because you have the children about half of the time this applies:

"Men om det är stora skillnader mellan föräldrarnas ekonomi kan det upplevas som orättvist. I sådana fall kan det vara klokt att ni skriver ner vad var och en av er betalar för barnet och sedan fördelar den summan på ett sätt som verkar rättvist."

Loose translation: "But when there is a large difference between the parents economy it can seem unjust. In such cases it can be wise that you (the parents) write down what each of you pay for the children and then split the costs in a manner that works out just."

At the moment the balance may be in your wifes favour so realistically until you get a job she should be assisting you.

From memory your situation is not an easy one, so it may not be worth the hassle of going there!

When you have a job and you know your income then you could apply the amounts suggested by the calculator.
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mångk
post 8.Apr.2013, 01:27 PM
Post #10
Joined: 27.Jul.2008

There is nothing stopping you from contacting your ex and asking her what her income is, what are the childrens expenses so that you can work out an appropriate amount to pay!

The question would be if it would create any problems.

Once you have that information then you can work out something that is in the best interests of your children! But it certainly isn't money for your ex!
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Beef
post 8.Apr.2013, 01:36 PM
Post #11
Location: Stockholm
Joined: 7.Feb.2006

Thanks, and of course the money is for the kids. I expressed that strangely.
I will contact her. I think I'll meet the lawyer first though to I'm knowledgable if discussions go sour. My ex has always threatened to move away with the kids whenever things don't go her way. My lawyer said that should could do that legally too. All has been calm recently but the same time, it's been 5 years. I gave away practically everything due to my depression and guilt feelings at the time. I am subsidizing her lifestyle which I hate to admit. She doesn't need to drive the care she does, have a warm garage etc... Time to stop.
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mångk
post 8.Apr.2013, 01:49 PM
Post #12
Joined: 27.Jul.2008

QUOTE (Beef @ 8.Apr.2013, 02:36 PM) *
Thanks, and of course the money is for the kids. I expressed that strangely.

I understood that otherwise I wouldn't have bothered! wink.gif

QUOTE (Beef @ 8.Apr.2013, 02:36 PM) *
I will contact her. I think I'll meet the lawyer first though to I'm knowledgable if discussions go sour. My ex has always threatened to move away with the kids whenev ... (show full quote)

Thats the biggest problem isnt it!

Is it worth the problems for you and your children?

If you can afford it and if after calculating everything it means paying 1000 or 2000 kr per month less, is it worth it? huh.gif
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intrepidfox
post 8.Apr.2013, 05:28 PM
Post #13
Location: Gothenburg
Joined: 18.Jul.2012

I hope it all works out for you but i think the ex is blackmailing you, "money or the kids" that is terrible. She should not get money from you for herself. The money that you give should be for the children nothing else. As i said before go to the solicitor and mention your exes threats. I do not know if you legally have joint custody but it´s worth a thought. Anyway i wish you the best of luck and i hope it all works out as the children are the most important people in this dispute.
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PDX
post 8.Apr.2013, 05:48 PM
Post #14
Location: Stockholm
Joined: 2.Aug.2011

As far as I understand the story, no specific threats have been made regarding the amounts of money gifted.

So, don't alienate her and the kids over 1000 SEK or so, as has been mentioned already.

~~~PDX~~~
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Beef
post 8.Apr.2013, 07:23 PM
Post #15
Location: Stockholm
Joined: 7.Feb.2006

Thanks again.. It's a difficult one and I don't want any trouble but same time don't want to be a mug either.. I think i'll keep my appointment with the solicitor and take it from there. Many thanks for your replies smile.gif
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