• Sweden's news in English

When sausages cause a female stampede

The Local · 2 Nov 2007, 19:07

Published: 02 Nov 2007 19:07 GMT+01:00

Facebook Twitter Google+ reddit

Tipping Point

‘Are you excited?’, I asked David ‘Mr Sausage’ Taylor about the very imminent opening of his first shop in Stockholm.

‘Well, to be honest I’m a bit nervous’, he said and I can see why, as a mental image of hoards of clamouring, flushed, wild eyed women, their fists crammed with five hundred kronor notes, battering down his door, flashed before my eyes.

Mr Taylor, a butcher originally from Northern Ireland, has built up a very loyal and enthusiastic clientele both here in Stockholm and down in Gothenburg, based to date on his home delivery service.

I hear from my sources that the good women from one of Stockholm’s posher suburbs (which shall remain nameless as their secret is safe with me) positively stampede in a most unladylike fashion in their haste to be first in line for Mr Sausage on his refrigerated van delivery days. But I can understand why - sometimes the thought of Swedish falukorv, a sort of grotesquely florid, mechanically recovered sausage, is just assimilation gone silly and when you are desperate for the real thing, the arrival of Mr Taylor and his wares might well cause an outbreak of over enthusiastic behaviour.

Yours truly was treated to a sneaky peek behind the scenes at his new premises, no doubt much to the seething jealousy of many an expatriate woman, and I am delighted to report that it is certainly a fair size and spotlessly clean. The shop actually opens Monday 5 Nov at 10 am and will stock all his popular sausages, including a new variety called Regency Pork - heavens, it‘s going to be handbags at dawn to be first in the queue with those, I can tell you. Irish and English cheeses, together with Welsh free range beef will all be available too, together with his pies and pasties and all sorts of pates and pickles.

The nice thing about Mr Taylor, apart from his excellent products, is that he is the type of person who knows all his customers by name and both he and his new business partner Gareth Jones are extremely helpful when it comes to giving advice to those of us who may be somewhat intimidated by a large chunk of raw meat. So, ladies, be gentle with them.

Speaking of large chunks of raw meat, I found myself at the Fair Erotica’s Ladies Night, entirely for research purposes, I hasten to add. And let me get something straight right from the outset - there wasn’t anything remotely erotic or even a bit naughty about it.

In fairness, I only caught a couple of the male strippers’ acts but they just looked like nice, clean cut boys who took their clothes off and wiggled about a bit to pay off their student loans. I imagine that they were probably trying to memorize their periodic tables or Einstein’s theory of relativity while they were doing things with whipped cream and posing pouches so it just wasn’t very sexy really, unless you’re a science undergraduate with limited experience of the outside world.

But the ladies did seem to be having a nice time, if not an outrageous time, with everyone browsing happily around the booths that were selling all manner of battery operated paraphernalia. I particularly enjoyed the way in which the matronly, latex clad, sales assistants were holding up various items and giving little demonstrations in much the same way that sales assistants demonstrate unnecessary kitchen gadgets at those Ideal Home shows. Strangely enough, my favourite item in the whole show was in fact an unnecessary kitchen gadget - a little metal thing that shaped fried eggs into men’s rude parts which you could probably use as a cookie cutter too, so maybe a very handy item after all.

But a word if I may about the clothing on sale, which I have to say was both extremely expensive (over 1,000 kronor for a nurse’s dressing up costume) while being atrociously cheap at the same time. Now I realise that the aim may well be to look cheap but does everything have to be nylon? The problem with a nylon body suit is that there’s a distinct possibility it could cause a very nasty infection in parts that are vital for any form of conjugals. Even nastier still, I would worry that the slightest amount of friction would cause the whole thing to spontaneously combust. Which would give new meaning to being a red hot lover, I suppose.

So, as for the Fair Erotica - well, there’s a makeshift bar and a kiosk selling hot dogs, and live entertainment in the form of wholesome strippers so it might be a different, and certainly harmless, way to spend an evening with a few friends.

Story continues below…

But, for my part, I don’t think I’ll be rushing back. If I want to spend my time jostling with rampaging women on a mission, I’ll be elbowing my way to the front of the queue for the opening of David Taylor’s shop.

Taylors and Jones, Hantverkargatan 12, 112 23 Stockholm, Tel 08 651 2910, www.taylors.se (Cash only on the first days of business until credit card facility in place)

Fair Erotica, Gamla Tryckeriet, Gustavslundsvagen 149B, Alvik, Stockholm, Tel 08 658 6028, www.fairerotica.nu, 3 Oct - 4 Nov 2007.

The Local (news@thelocal.se)

Facebook Twitter Google+ reddit

Today's headlines
Nobel Prizes
'I'd say he's arrogant but I'd be lying': Swedes on Bob Dylan
Bob Dylan performing in France. Photo: David Vincent/AP

Almost two weeks have passed since Bob Dylan was awarded the Nobel Prize in Literature and he has yet to acknowledge the win. The Local asked Swedes what they think of the singer's silence.

Sweden cuts 2016 refugee forecast by thousands
A Swedish migration authority office in Stockholm. Photo: Maja Suslin/TT

The country has also slashed its prediction for 2017.

Swedish researchers plan new trucks for women drivers
File photo of trucks in Sweden. Photo: Thomas Johansson/TT

Could vehicles adapted for women attract more female truckers to the profession?

These stats show Swedish driving isn't so gender equal
File photo of a Swedish woman driving a car. Photo: Pontus Lundahl/TT

A new survey shows that few Swedish women get behind the wheel when driving with their male partner.

Revealed: Game of Thrones could be coming to Sweden
Game of Thrones cast members at the Emmy Awards in September. Photo: Jordan Strauss/AP

The producers of the hit show have asked for three rounds of location pictures of Swedish island Gotland.

Prime Minister to meet Swedish troops in Iraq
Swedish Prime Minister Stefan Löfven and his Kurdish counterpart Nechervan Barzani. Photo: Henrik Montgomery/TT

Sweden's Prime Minister Löfven is set to meet Swedish troops in Iraq on Tuesday.

Swedish politicians wage war on winter time
Soon it will look like this on your way home from work in Sweden. Photo: Anders Wiklund/TT

Should Sweden stick with summer time all year round?

'Don't turn the Pope into a global teddy bear'
Sweden's Queen Silvia and Princess Leonore visiting Pope Francis in the Vatican last year. Photo: Henrik Montgomery/TT

It's time to hold the Pope to account and make sure he turns his words about reform into action, argues a minister of the Swedish Church ahead of Pope Francis' visit to Sweden.

Löfven: 'Sweden will double its number of troops in Iraq'
Stefan Löfven and Haider al-Abadi during the visit on Monday. Photo: Henrik Montgomery/TT

Swedish Prime Minister Stefan Löfven has promised to double his country's number of troops in Iraq following a meeting with Iraqi counterpart Haider al-Abadi on Monday.

Will Swedes soon be looking for fairtrade porn?
Should Swedes think fairtrade with porn? Photo: Karin Malmhav/SvD/TT

A fairtrade attitude to pornography would be beneficial, Sweden's health minister told The Local.

Sponsored Article
Last chance to vote absentee in the US elections
Property of the week: Kungsholmen, Stockholm
Sponsored Article
This is Malmö: Football capital of Sweden
The Local Voices
'I simply don’t believe in nationality'
Why we're convinced Game of Thrones is based on Sweden
Blog updates

6 October

10 useful hjälpverb (The Swedish Teacher) »

"Hej! I think the so-called “hjalpverb” (auxiliary verbs in English) are a good way to get…" READ »


8 July

Editor’s blog, July 8th (The Local Sweden) »

"Hej readers, It has, as always, been a bizarre, serious and hilarious week in Sweden. You…" READ »

Sponsored Article
Where is the Swedish music industry heading?
People-watching: October 21st-23rd
Sponsored Article
Why you should 'grab a chair' on Stockholm's tech scene
Fury at plans that 'threaten the IB's survival' in Sweden
Analysis & Opinion
Are we just going to let half the country die?
Angry elk chases Swede up a lamp post
Sponsored Article
Stockholm: creating solutions to global challenges
The Local Voices
'Alienation in Sweden feels better: I find myself a stranger among scores of aliens'
Sponsored Article
Swedish for programmers: 'It changed my life'
People-watching: October 20th
The Local Voices
A layover at Qatar airport brought this Swedish-Kenyan couple together - now they're heading for marriage
Sponsored Article
Top 7 tips to help you learn Swedish
Swede punches clown that scared his grandmother
Sponsored Article
‘Extremism can't be defeated on the battlefield alone’
Fans throw flares and enter pitch in Swedish football riot
Could Swedish blood test solve 'Making a Murderer'?
Sponsored Article
Stockholm: creating solutions to global challenges
Property of the week: Linnéstaden, Gothenburg
Sponsored Article
Why you should 'grab a chair' on Stockholm's tech scene
Swedish school to build gender neutral changing room
Sponsored Article
Where is the Swedish music industry heading?
People-watching: October 14th-16th
Sponsored Article
One expat's strategy for making friends in Stockholm
Man in Sweden assaulted by clowns with broken bottle
Sponsored Article
Nordic fashion in focus at Stockholm University
Nobel Prize 2016: Literature
Watch the man who discovered Bob Dylan react to his Nobel Prize win
Record numbers emigrating from Sweden
People-watching: October 12th
The Local Voices
'Swedish startups should embrace newcomers' talents - there's nothing to fear'
How far right are the Sweden Democrats?
Property of the week: Triangeln, Malmö
Sweden unveils Europe's first elk hut
People-watching: October 7th-9th
The Local Voices
Syria's White Helmets: The Nobel Peace Prize would have meant a lot, but pulling a child from rubble is the greatest reward
jobs available