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Seduction on the streets of Stockholm

TT/The Local · 8 Oct 2009, 13:15

Published: 08 Oct 2009 13:15 GMT+02:00

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”Excuse me. I just saw you across the road and had to come over and tell you how beautiful you are.” (Pause for response) ”What’s your name?”

Could this seemingly shifty chat-up line melt the hearts of Swedish ice maidens on a chilly afternoon in the capital?

I had my doubts. Jeremy Soul was eager to contest them, confident that his school of thought allows him to meet women any time and any place.

”I can help guys to get laid, to get girlfriends,” he says. “But what I’m teaching is control over their love life.”

For which he usually charges a day rate of $1,500 to $3,000. Soul is a respected PUA (pick up artist) in the seduction community – a male kinship which began in 80s America - exposed and explored by US journalist Neil Strauss in his 2005 book The Game.

On the outside he is a dating coach, who moved from England to Stockholm this year, and I catch up with him lending his expertise to a group of protégés. I, along with these men handpicked from across the world, am getting his services for free.

The students, chosen from 300 applicants, are taking part in Project Rock Star, an initiative set up by US company Love Systems to guide men on the road to success in the areas of health, wealth and relationships and lead the ultimate lifestyle.

Since paying clients prefer to shy away in anonymity, it’s also an opportunity to publicise their services.

“We train them for eight weeks in absolutely everything we know,” Soul adds. “Part of it is about picking up women but part of it is also about networking, physical wellbeing and entrepreneurship.”

AUDIO: The voice of seduction - Jeremy Soul speaks to Christine Demsteader about the mythology of love and the joys of life in Sweden

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Aaron Panasbodi, 24, from Australia was considering joining a Thai monastery before radically changing direction. “It was the right time and place for me,” he says. “I have immediate access to a bunch of mentors for different areas of my life.”

A strict upbringing in a southern Baptist household “where Sarah Palin was preached,” led Joshua Votto, 24, to look for pastures new. “There was always something inside of me where I felt I could achieve greater things,” he says. “It’s been a long-time for me coming out of that; finding out who I was and making peace with that.”

Unsatisfied with his lot in life, Swedish participant Michel Genetay, 27, wanted more women and adventure. “I quit everything I had,” he says. “I moved away from the comfort and safety to challenge myself - that’s why I’m doing it.”

The day begins with a three-hour seminar, concentrating on techniques in approaching women wherever you are.

After all, Soul is said to be one of the best day-gamers in the business. A self-confessed love-shy geek during his teens, he sought out a system to woo women and won. Today, he is superbly confident for his 26 years and travels the world with his job. It first brought him to Stockholm two years ago.

“I realised it’s my favourite city in the world,” he says. “Part of it has to do with the women; they are more beautiful than anywhere else I’ve been.”

Defying the stereotype, brunettes are his weakness but to fall under the influence of Soul’s charm he prefers them sober. “I tell my friends that when Swedish girls drink they turn into English men – they can be quite predatory and it’s almost like a role reversal.”

That’s why Soul sticks to the day game. “I love women. I love emotional connection. I love good sex,” he says.

“But I don’t really enjoy going to nightclubs. I prefer good conversation, figuring out what we connect on and you can do that in the daytime a lot more effectively.”

Soul briefs his students on how to ‘open’ a woman – the initial approach. You spot her across the street, you chase from behind, a light touch to the arm before an ice-breaking complement begins proceedings.

“Excuse me. I saw you doing X and I had to tell you why,” demonstrating the move in its entirety. “You might think they’re too good-looking, bored, busy, mean, with friends or even their mother – but anything is possible.”

Soul throws away the tried and tested canned one-liners and opts for more spontaneity – “Comment on their hair, the way they dress, the way they walk, their style – anything about them you like that they have control of,” he says.

He continues with talk of ‘rewarding’, ‘screening’, ‘qualification’ ‘progression’ and hand- out documents with explanatory diagrams.

“Everything we do is based on psychology and social dynamics,” Soul says. “A billionaire might be a great public speaker when it comes to talking business – he understands social rules and etiquette in front of his peers. But he can’t apply that on a street in front of five women.”

In the afternoon, the rock stars are taken from the safety of the seduction classroom to put theory into practise.

Soul sets the tone, stopping one attractive young woman in her tracks and telling her he likes her smooth skin. It works. She is visibly charmed as she coyly plays with her hair, flicks her head to one side and sends out all the right signals.

Not his greatest success, but by no means a failure, he returns to the ranks with her name and a likely follow-up on Facebook.

The rock stars follow suit and Soul analyses their moves from a distance, complementing their body language or criticising their posture where necessary.

It’s their first chance to wander around the city and Aaron is impressed. “Beautiful architecture, clean air and beautiful women - I can see why Soul moved here," he says.

Story continues below…

Out and about in Stureplan, the guys spy their targets and so begins the seduction banter. They ‘veto’ each other – code speak for daring a guy to approach a certain girl. They ‘wing’ where necessary – joining forces when a wanted women is accompanied by friends.

The rock stars are obviously enjoying their free ride but for most clients the lure of learning the chase comes at a price – according to Soul it’s a small cost for the experience gained.

“Everything we do comes with a money-back guarantee and our refund rate is less than one percent,” he says.

“There’s nothing better for me than when a 50-year-old guy who’s divorced and miserable tells me I changed the course of his life.”

Soul personifies what he preaches; honest, articulate, open and ready to tackle cynics with charm.

“In terms of whether we are tricking women, it comes down to how you represent yourself,” he says. “Someone feels manipulated when they feel like they’ve been mis-sold something. If you’re upfront and say who you are and what you’re offering, it gives a women the choice to say yes or no.”

I overhear words of encouragement from Soul to his students; his experience tells him foreigners have a head start with Swedish women. ”They like speaking English and so the accent helps,” he says them.

“And Swedish guys don’t have the balls to do this,” a distinct advantage of seducing women on the streets here that I’d been thinking about all day.

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Your comments about this article

15:26 October 8, 2009 by sandeep
Its so artificial...better be natural
17:36 October 8, 2009 by DreEstwd
The fact that this guy gets chicks.....just proves how dumb they really are.
07:54 October 9, 2009 by J.Miller
Agree with the above.

My thoughts were something like : Self serving p***k .

As in, get a real life.
10:59 October 9, 2009 by Thebinary1
Are we getting a bit jealous here?

I mean don't the "dumb chicks" deserve a good-time in a completely different way, albeit a short-lived one?
11:34 October 9, 2009 by canuk
This is old news, a swede has been doing this in stockholm for ages.

Charismatic Revolutions is the name of the company (http://www.c-r.se/).

The funny part in the interview is he talks about how his father though he was a gigalo...hmm if you read into that a bit, hes saying that he lives with his parents, always exciting to be woo'd by a guy that doesn't even have the means to move away from home.
12:24 October 9, 2009 by zircon
And if the beautiful Swedish woman is married? (Perhaps you won't find her in the streets either. Unless she is busy trying to get home early for supper, and waiting for the bus.)
12:49 October 9, 2009 by KamiZ
has anybody here seen the english film "the hitch"?
17:02 October 9, 2009 by Alannah
Interesting article! But doesn't personality come into the equation here? Unfortunately, in Stockholm, most of the time beautiful = boring. And that goes for the men as much as for the women! I also can't imagine that this kind of charm and openness works in broad daylight with sober Swedes - but can imagine it is a different ballgame at night after a bottle of vodka!
17:04 October 9, 2009 by Bushido
This is such nonsense. Being given a sudden barrage of compliments from a complete stranger, and on the street, will make the recipient feel uncomfortable after the first approach. Any further attempts to charm will quickly start to feel creepy.

As to the 26 Year old 'Teacher', and the statement that "he usually charges a day rate of $1,500 to $3,000," I can probably guarantee he has never even been paid for his 'services.' Paradoxically, the only age group he is targeting are the under 25's, as they are the only one's gullible enough to think this works (from monastery to street pick ups? Come on!) Whereas, it would be mainly the over 25's who would have the disposable income to spend, yet they know this sort of thing does not work, long term.

Despite his talk about "authenticity, truth and social calibration," you only have to look at his picture at the top to see the insincerity. He has a lot to learn about real charm, the sort that lasts beyond a nanosecond and a facebook connection.
18:48 October 9, 2009 by Arniet
If women acted normal. And less repressed in public. By relying solely on their passive (mentality) - (visual) aggression, everyone loses.

We'd have ourselves some authentic interactions. And fewer bogus, woman as canned, sexual commodity interactions.

As long as women accentuate the exterior, and eliminate their interiors, we all lose.

I'm coming across to Stockholm from Washington, soon. I want to find a hot, smart blonde or brunette Swede, and have us make the next American President -- like Obama.

Soak yourself in Jergens Lotion -- Here comes the one man population explosion !
19:57 October 9, 2009 by Marietta
This behaviour is predatory, and nothing else. I've had losers like that approach me, and, when ignoring them doesn't work, a good hard slap does.
23:17 October 9, 2009 by DavidtheNorseman
Ah! I see the light! If you find a woman interesting you talk to her nicely! (How do I get paid $1500-$3000 a day for this?!!!).

Marietta, a couple of women who went to University with me responded to my question about this with, "Yes, but you haven't been hit on by every creep who ever crawled out from under a rock."

If these guys can afford those rates, they are wealthy. That goes 95% of the way to what shallow women want, but be careful what you wish for :-) (Insert theme from "Jaws")
23:52 October 9, 2009 by Rebel
Funny, schools here try their best to eradicate the maleness out of boys -- the goal of course is to feminize men. Yet despite what Swedish women say they want they prefer real men, not shy, gutless, binge-drinkers unwilling to take a stand for anything. I hope fathers will do their best to counter the effects of the feminist movement and teach their sons to be assertive and daring. Better than your son winding up single, 40 and spending his time watching Discovery on TV while nursing a beer and wondering if he wants to "read" Playboy or Penthouse this evening.
07:15 October 10, 2009 by soultraveler3
@ josephsantana, you're a racist idiot.

Do not try to say that you represent the average american in your thinking because I find that offensive. It's people like you that have helped ruin the reputation of americans around the world.

Wth do you mean that in america everyone marrys within their own race? What bs, we have a wider range of mixes and colors than just about anywhere, that's one of the thing that makes america the place it is. We're all a bunch of mixed up mutts, and imo that's a good thing.

I don't have a single friend that isn't of mixed ancestery. I'm a mix of native american, irish and italian, my best friend is a mix of black, white and chinese, another friend is a mix of indian and swede. Everyone in america is like that.

As far as this article goes, this may work as an icebreaker but it could be weird.

I've actually had a guy come up to me on a bike when I was getting out of my car and heading into work. All he said was that he saw me from across the street and had to come and tell me how beautiful I was. Lol, maybe he studied with this guy in the article.

It was flattering, but to be honest, it could've turned creepy quick.
16:37 October 10, 2009 by Canada_Girl

everyone in the US in mixed race? I don't think so - your sweeping generalizations don't apply to the general populace anymore than the OP.
19:03 October 10, 2009 by shiraz
This is too aggressive. If all men began doing this the streets would turn into the equivalent of the streets of Italy where macho men harass all women. It is likely to drive women to conservative behavior (and indoors).

A liberal society is more likely to encourage women engaging in such behavior: women are gentler, more subtle and rarely as intrusive as men.
21:42 October 10, 2009 by gamb
if this guy and his friends have balls, why dont they try in moskau or sankt pietersburg ?
21:48 October 10, 2009 by seymourir
For those who are really want to get into the world of dating gurus, I do recommend David DeAngelo's material. He says attraction is not a choice. If you see these lines of education a little bit manipulative, I think David and a bunch of others tell you that it is not!! But anyway, being a single man at 36, for mainly educational reasons!, I have found their suggestions working when I use them. But I do not agree completely with Jeremey that the Swedish girls like to have talks in ENGLISH. How does he help us to overcome the Swedish girls' shyness and reservations to get approach by foreigners? Limiting beliefs, David would say, if he sees this...but anyway, I do appreciate those guys who teach us how to approach women.this is not just about sex and getting laid, it opens up a whole new world where you can lead! That is precious.
22:29 October 10, 2009 by swordfish1174
I find this to be very interesting about the Swedish doing a town for all women, I guarantee they will have less crime, more work, and a better financial stability then most men they need to test this theory by allowing and making a all men town and all women town and test this for about 5- 10 years and see the results at the end i bet women will come out on top . I created a poll on this Online Dating site where I asked men and women who they thought was economically more proficient and men said they were and women said they were a 50 - 50 split so this would be a good test to back that claim. http://www.rainbowofluv.com
05:31 October 11, 2009 by The International
Ghandi the Love Guru is on the Prowl! poor guy, seems so desperate, I bet it has been ages since he got himself some! I can only see dumb women falling for this poor fool, I guess he thinks Swede women go gaga for dark skins ! je je.. he should get himself a real job and maybe he will be more attractive to women.
00:35 October 12, 2009 by Germandude
If you want to attract women with brains and class, chasing them on the street is not a smart approach. However, I can see how this guy might help one or two guys to overcome their shyness. For this, though, I wouldn't fork over 1500 $ per day.
15:30 October 12, 2009 by glamelixir
hahahaha, I just can't help laughing.

I read the book The game, after a friend of my husband (who has a sad and lonely love life even though he is good looking, socal and succcesful)made a big thing out of it. It is just decadent. I have to admit, those men ... oh my god... I felt really sorry for them and for these girls.

Besides Swedish girls turn into ANYONE after 3 o'clock when they are drunk. C'mon! He is ripping of his clients if they are paying to pick up girls in Sweden! Nobody goes home alone a saturday night in this promiscuos culture, are you kidding me?

To end, I strongly believe non of the tricks work in a woman that is slightly smart. I never got interested in a man that I wasn't attracted to from moment zero I saw him, and in this last case got totally unmotivated if he was a player so...

GUYS! this is just bullshit, be yourselves
16:34 October 12, 2009 by scrutatore

have u ever been in italy since 5 years?

don't talk like that or ppl can assume all italians behave in such way, that is no more the common behaviour of us

when i've asked to my ex-(swede)girlfriend if it was possible to give me her number the first time that we met, she replied to me : but ur italian! (that i've read as : "u r such a horny male here only for use my body")

i've not to tell that it was not only a night-bed-story so far

this beahave has to stop, sick of hearing such stupid "common-sense"

"A liberal society" is when also u have no stereotype, that is properly the opposite that u've reported..
17:00 October 12, 2009 by craicen
This is how they rip off nerds into believe they can become studs if they fork over big dough. Ok you can change your clothes, and your approach but if you got it you got it and if you don't you don't. Unless your standards are really low then you've got to be born attractive to women, I mean if you wanna mess around. For a wife on the other hand, all types of men can usually find someone they are compatible with. If for example, you are ugly, then there are lots of ugly leg out there. Even deaf people often hook up with deaf partners.
18:49 October 12, 2009 by glamelixir
oh, and BTW, only a miracle could make me pay attention to the guy in the picture.

100% not my type. I find it hard to believe that he can play magic on women just by having a stupid speech.

And once again... swedish girls go home with anyone while drunk! haha, it is not your foreign "sex appeal"
19:45 October 12, 2009 by HejHej
@glamelixir... Don't you think you r so mean when you dislike this guy just because of his DARK color...
21:51 October 12, 2009 by The International
@glamelixir is not mean, the guy is ugly period! He looks short has a big forehead and is dark, nothing more to it, you're gonna play stud, look like a stud, but again, there are women who go home with anyone regardless of what they look like, when a women want a flick it doesn't matter what the guy looks like, they take him home for the night, they don't want him for a husband, it happens here in America all the time, young women end up in the dumpster the next day because they take home some guy they don't even know his name and get in trouble, an intelligent woman doesn't fall for these kind of fools, this guy has sex written all over his big forehead! That is what he wants, and of course he comes to Sweden, in India girls have more respect for themselves they don't fall for these guys , so they take advantage of the liberalism of euro women, a guy who has an education, a brain and a good heart is more attractive and he keeps the girl, that's my 2 cents.
22:10 October 12, 2009 by zigzagmann
Yes, yes, and yes. A lot of pick-up artists will make your skin crawl, but the truth is that if a guy has the courage to walk up to a woman and start talking, good things will usually happen. C'mon guys, BE MEN!
06:57 October 13, 2009 by HejHej
@The International.......... you know what if the same guy turn some famous celebrity and offers you a date, you will walk upside down and your slivia wont stop dripping down from your mouth all the time.
07:31 October 13, 2009 by The International
HejHej, you must be gay or have very bad luck with women that you admire this guy so much or need his services! good luck!
11:06 October 13, 2009 by FireBoy
You should just get in the game to realize how things ACTUALLY work. Real world is not like what is in hollywood movies and fairy tales.

the interesting part is that women will like it too no matter what!!! It is easy for a woman to come here and comment that no she is totally different. It is in their nature and they enjoy it.

But as some of the people mentioned here, Swedish men have become somewhat feminine by all this too much feminist bullshits in Sweden. It seems men are losing their attractive masculine features here.

Result: Swedish girls sleeping with guys from other countries and getting more 'fame' ;) and swedish men bringing thai girls (which are of course warmer and better housewives). Just go to the immigration office to see what is going on in this country.

The funny part is the looks on single middle-aged swedish women when they see men of their age coming with thai girls. Maybe that's why swedish women are not that good with foreigner women here, as these foreigner women haven't become masculine and better attract their men

(of course these are just my opinion and speculation on the current situation in Sweden)
23:06 October 13, 2009 by HejHej
@ The international... Apart from your alias, you need to INTERNATIONALIZE your thougts as well as you seem living still in DARK thoughts.... btw I wish I could have been a gay... its blessing :)
01:17 October 14, 2009 by delusion1982
Man did you see the girl in the video, it is clear as bight day light, she was just trying to run the hell away from him, and like not listening to him at all. I actually liked the article when I read it (since actually there is nothing new in it) , but when I saw the guy's actions , I can't help it to laugh! If this guy is charming, so please put a bullet in my head!
12:06 October 15, 2009 by tigger007
let's see!

i have done this before myself,but not in this manner. he did go a lil bit over board and swedes are somewhat lame without having a few drinks. those who say that he's lame and needs to be himself(the guy in the video),it has to be far better than most swedish dating tech. where people get too drunk and try meet each other and then have the balls to go home with each other(bedtime sex must be very exciting when u are ass drunk).now is see that alot of swedish men see this a lame and stupid,but from my experience most swedish men have a hard time dating american women. dating for them can be difficult because most of them don't have the skills to court a lady. i also have noticed that courtship in sweden is almost nonexistent,it almost like now or never concept. i really don't think sweden is ready for this type of dating and should be best left in america(only 8.5 million in sweden now i know why). FIREBOY good comment!
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