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Online sperm donor sows seeds of debate

Paul O'Mahony · 9 Nov 2009, 18:01

Published: 09 Nov 2009 18:01 GMT+01:00

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Alexander Kandiloros placed his ad on auction site Tradera after the Court of Appeal ruled last week that a lesbian couple had not been discriminated against when the younger of the two women, now aged 39, was refused the right to artificial insemination.

"It was intended to stir debate, to see if there was interest in this kind of service in view of the ruling," Kandiloros told The Local.

In the court case, the 39-year-old's partner was treated three times but failed to become pregnant before turning 40, after which point she was no longer entitled to try for a child. Her younger partner reasoned that, since each couple is allowed six attempts, she could use up the remainder of the allocation. Kandiloros concurred.

"Everybody has a right to the joy of parenthood, even if you are in a lesbian relationship or you do not have a partner!" he wrote in the body of his ad.

But the court of appeal agreed with the lower court's assessment that homosexual couples were to be treated in the same way as heterosexual pairs, in which the six insemination treatments must be used up by one and the same partner.

In his ad, which he describes as "satirical, and not to be taken too seriously," Kandiloros included a veiled reference to what he views as the court's overly strict interpretation of the law.

"I will come to the home of the highest bidder after this person has figured out when she is at her most fertile for intercourse, but I will do so at most three times."

Once Tradera discovered what was afoot, the site quickly removed the 26-year-old's ad, which it said breached its terms and conditions, as these do not permit the sale of services on the site.

But before the ad was pulled, the 26-year-old "published author and law student" laid out some impeccable credentials for prospective buyers.

"Non-smoking 26-year-old in good physical shape, no hereditary diseases or allergies, good eyesight, brown hair, brown eyes, respectable beard growth, 1.76 metres/75 kg."

Kandiloros was however also alert to the fact that sex with a 26-year-old male might not be to everybody's taste.

Story continues below…

"An intercourse-free alternative is of course also available," he wrote.

By the time the ad was removed, less than a day after it appeared on Tradera, Kandiloros had received a highest bid of a paltry 100 kronor ($15).

But he assured The Local that even had the stakes been higher there was never any risk of the auction leading to a bout of infidelity.

"I'm in a happy relationship with my girlfriend. We discussed this in advance and agreed that, whatever happened, she would lay the highest bid," he said.

Paul O'Mahony (paul.omahony@thelocal.com)

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Your comments about this article

20:13 November 9, 2009 by GLO
What's an ugly Girl to do ???
20:47 November 9, 2009 by eZee.se
Find another ugly girl and brag about being feminists :P
21:00 November 9, 2009 by Social Hypocrisy
This seems much more sensible than they chicken baster method.
03:38 November 10, 2009 by crunchy2k
He better watch-out or the lesbian community is going to suck him dry.
03:39 November 10, 2009 by Davey-jo
Does Sweden not support enterprise and initiative?
03:58 November 10, 2009 by delusion1982
attention sucker
07:29 November 10, 2009 by Makaveli
I cant understand why somebody chooses to spend their life with the same sex and yet somehow wants to get kids. Is this not a double standard? If you want to be gay or Lesbian, that's fine with me, but don't pretend to be one only to turn around and find shortcuts to make up for what you are missing. What a crazy crazy world.
09:35 November 10, 2009 by Newyork-Växjö
Imagine if your Lebsian parents (Both females) tell you: "my son/girl We bought from Auction site" another one say it was Tradera it is ebay partner

What do you call that child who is born from donated sperms?

Can they live the normal life as other childs?

We have enought of suicide attemps and rate in Sweden, I am affaird one day these kids would kill their parents.... too much freedom really sucks!
11:07 November 10, 2009 by byke
I wonder if he would be held accountable for child support payments?
12:41 November 10, 2009 by Beynch
If the picture is any indication - clearly staged, trying to look cool, probably on the dole, lack of initiative, unjustifiably cocky, roundish face(signaling lack of endowment), probably vain beyond normal - I'm not sure this would be a suitable donor for anyone.
13:02 November 10, 2009 by karex
"What do you call that child who is born from donated sperms?


DESIRED. Which is more that we can say for a lot of poor children who are "accidents" and may be the victim of being unwanted by their own parents.

So, its' not OK then for parents who have fertility problems to seek help because they may be the product of donated sperm?
14:27 November 10, 2009 by Rebel
The law is stupid. I mean really, in the case of lesbians both are capable of getting pregnant. So why does the law say only one can do so in a state-controled fertility clinic?

I encourage these women to go to Denmark or to the USA where the state does not dictate to its people how they can reproduce.
18:57 November 10, 2009 by Newyork-Växjö
Nobody has the rights to brings kids from donated sperms!!!

I am sure if you ask a child who is born from donated sperms he/she would say I wish I had a real father and mother Not these user lesbians who like the men sperms not themselves . these sort abnormal people choose to be to gay or lesbian it , If they choose to be gay/lesbian then they should not play with life of children,

Many children would call them names in schools.. that would hurt them and it is not nice to allow such a time happen for kids. these lesbian and gays can go to hell!
21:21 November 10, 2009 by Osokin
Maybe the lesbian couple should consult with the Archbishop of Stockholm how to adopt a child
21:58 November 10, 2009 by Vox
Sperm is it's own plural, like sheep. Just so you know...
22:19 November 10, 2009 by Newyork-Växjö
Why these sick people play with innocent life?

This Sick guy has a girlfriend and he is doing this for money on the Auction site omg it is so sick.. how can his girlfriend let him to have sex with another woman (lesbian) I am sure they are players otherwise nobody like that their partner have sex with another and gives a birth a child which was called in the old time (bastard) and now we names is changed to "Donated boys"

Bidding on his sperm and his girlfriend is watching the lesbians keeps bidding, what is happening?

It is disrespectful for human and for innocent child, if you look at his face then you would think of donar's sperm and auction sites. this sucks this law suck this people suck. those who support such a dirty law is sick.
00:11 November 11, 2009 by Authentica
I wonder who put the bid for this ugly guy's sperm. Probably his own girlfriend hahahaha.
01:05 November 11, 2009 by secondthought
When gays' "right" to get " married" in the last church that rejected them

is made to be SACRED, here we see violation of children's rights .

Laws in Sweden do not protect kids to be concieved as normal human beings;

they are bought and sold.

Those kids will be born with a hole in their hearts, and if they survive the

gay couples' upbringing,which i doubt, the school is ever ready for them,

to teach them even more about homosexuality.

Indeed, Sweden is a progressive nation, and cares for children's right.
04:05 November 11, 2009 by Gwrhyr
Wow, NewYork-Växjö, you really think a living and breathing human being would say "Gee, I wish I never existed. I wish I wasn't born into a family that wanted me so much they had to go through a lot to give me a life."


And you need to re-read the article because it says clearly that the guy was never planning on having sex with anyone. This was a publicity stunt to raise the media profile of this issue.

And if all you really see when you look at living, breathing human beings is how they were born and you judge them based on that, you are one sick person. When you find out someone was adopted or grew up in an orphanage, is all you see when you look into their eyes abandonment, despair, and orphanages? You don't see them for who they are as human beings? You don't think their adoptive family counts as their family? Do you really think blood makes a family more than love?

What you forget about these parents is that they themselves are "innocent life" and all they want to do is create more "innocent life". Life is precious. You are the one who seems to mess with innocent life by attacking it.
05:23 November 11, 2009 by Rebel
You know, the Bible says that we are to "multiply and replenish the earth." With all the materialistic women in Sweden who don't plan on having children I think we should applaud any woman, including a lesbian, who is willing to have kids. To be honest, a heterosexual couple who chooses not to reproduce is less productive for the culture than a lesbian couple who wants to have a family.
10:22 November 12, 2009 by karex
The man is a law student. He was trying to raise awareness about an issue he seems not to agree with, which is more than most of us gave the guts to do, or even bother about.

Any human being who wants to care, nurture, love and raise a child is to be applauded, regardless of who it is. Think too of those poor infertile couples who want desperately to have children and can't. Sperm donation sometimes is their only hope.

We are just too quick to judge.
17:35 November 13, 2009 by Roaringwater
As a happily married hetrosexual mother of two children I can only applaud when homosexuals - of either sex - get to experience the joy of parenthood. Our social circle includes several gay couples all of whom are actually more thoughtful and dutiful parents than ourselves. And their kids are a credit to them.

Thanks to the law student for highlighting discrimination.
07:55 November 14, 2009 by SweetBlue

Thank you for being a sane voice in this discussion.

The comments made by many, including the ignorant and scarily homophobic, intolerant ones by NewYork just prove how people comment as a gut reaction to their own fear and ignorance. Karex also made some wonderful points; This man was making a humorous effort to make fun of a court ruling he disagrees with. I thought his ad was funny and unique.


Please humor me in answering these questions:

1) How would you feel about yourself if you suddenly learned your father wasn't who you thought - that YOU were a result of a sperm donation? I doubt you would start loathing yourself and commit suicide because you were not "normal" and a burden to society.

2) How do you identify a child who is a result of a sperm donation? Are they born with a stamp on their forehead to alert you, the ignorant? You would NEVER know unless someone shared that information with you.

I am sitting on the fence of indecision here. Do I get angry at you for your hurtful ignorance? Or do I feel sorry for you for living so blindly?

Guess neither. I am just a lowly human who doesn't deserve to judge others.
18:56 November 17, 2009 by Learn Basic Hindi Or Nepali Befo
I think everybody should have right to do what they feel like doing. People have started to do almost anything. If it's positive, if it's not harming and hurting to others why not do what you want to. But, couldn't you have adopted a child from Africa or somewhere else there are thousands of kids dying by hunger. In that way a child would have gotten name from you and that's possible. Interesting part is to see when your child grow up how does he or she relates to you and to the world.
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