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Wife's pregnancy blamed for prostitute visit

David Landes · 26 Nov 2009, 11:29

Published: 26 Nov 2009 11:29 GMT+01:00

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“I’m very, very regretful,” the 39-year-old manager told the Aftonbladet newspaper.

The incident took place in March 2008 at a Stockholm hotel which was under police surveillance at the time due to suspicions that Russian women were selling sex from rooms at the hotel.

Police surveillance revealed the 39-year-old anda Russian woman engaging in various sexual activities, including full-blown intercourse.

The man was arrested as he left the room and confessed to police on the spot.

He told police he had paid 2,500 kronor ($360) to meet the woman after making contact with her via the internet, adding that she had consented to the entire transaction.

“I would never buy sex if I got the impression that she was doing it against her will or was being used,” said the 39-year-old.

Due to his confession, the man avoided a court trial and was instead slapped with a 25,000 kronor fine.

But the man grew increasingly concerned that news of his infidelity would get back to his family and thus wrote a heartfelt letter to prosecutors begging them to send all correspondence regarding the matter to his office, rather than his home address.

“I deeply regret my behaviour and am distraught at having put myself and my family in this situation,” the 39-year-old wrote, adding that he was otherwise a “law-abiding and exemplary citizen with great integrity and morals”.

According to the Metro newspaper, the man went on to explain in the letter that he hadn’t had sex for five months at the time he booked his meeting with the Russian prostitute because his wife was heavily pregnant and about to give birth to the couple’s second child.

“My positive family situation would of course be erased if my irresponsible and reprehensible actions become known to my family and in the worst case would likely lead to both divorce and difficult relations with my children in the future,” the letter continued.

Story continues below…

The prosecutor in the case was sympathetic to the 39-year-old’s request and agreed to send the fine to his office at one of Sweden’s state-owned companies.

The man tells Aftonbladet that he has so far succeeded in hiding his transgression from his wife, who he said he “loves very much”.

David Landes (david.landes@thelocal.se)

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Your comments about this article

12:13 November 26, 2009 by unt9
So prostitute is Russian, whats poor mans nationality?
12:34 November 26, 2009 by Deema
Good point, unt9.. :)
12:39 November 26, 2009 by peropaco
You dont have to pay that much for a quicky? Just have to visit any bar around Stockholm between 23:00 and 1:00AM and there are ample amount of inebriated; desperate women looking to give up the goods before going home to their husband's.

@unt9. FYOI. The poor man's nationality is Swedish. Foreign born or naturalized people don't qualify for those jobs. :-D
13:57 November 26, 2009 by Tennin
I hope the wife will oneday find out about what her husband did. It should be up to the wife to decide if she will stay with him or not.
14:19 November 26, 2009 by swamp_guy68
@ Tennin....I agree with that, this mans wife would most likely give a better punishment....to bad Swedish Media do not print names of offenders.

I wonder if the courts would had been so easy on a non-swefish offender? (assuming this person is swedish)

I have to admit that his excuse gave me one hell of a laugh.
14:20 November 26, 2009 by Gwrhyr
He shouldn't have gotten into any trouble with the authorities, only his wife.

The only true criminal here would be the Russian's pimp. Go after him instead, for taking an unrightful cut of the sex worker's money.
15:01 November 26, 2009 by determined
Lesson learnt.

1. Do not use hotels

2. Place shoud not be decided by pros, the best is to use carvan or big vehicle as she may use mobile to report the loc.

3. Do not get drunk and avoid mobile photo session.

4. Use condoms.

5. Best is to use hands but if can't live then stay deteremined and do not be caught and if caught, do not confess.
16:51 November 26, 2009 by Mib
What a load of b*ll*cks! When he married, it was for better or worse. I would like to hear her side of the story. Maybe he became lazy or too tired himself to make the effort to get his Wife interested in sex. But, whatever the excuses. he conciously arranged to meet a prostitute and piad her 2500sk. Now...he is sorry.... what a pri*k!

Hoepfully, he has learnt his lesson and I think the judge made the right decision as the consequences would be far more damaging to the family. But, if he does it again....then let nature takes its course.
17:32 November 26, 2009 by eZee.se
While the man indeed is a pr!ck.. lier... and cheat... possibly even a lowlife.

I still say this is none of the governments business, and this hurts women much more than a silly fine hurts men - or stops men from going to exploited women.

Not that I pro 'workeing women' either, i am pretty much neutral on the subject having never availed thier services, as peropaco said above, there are plenty of bars in Stockholm... but its just NOT the governments business or the idiot 'feminists' in parliament who made these laws.
19:39 November 26, 2009 by Greg in Canada
It sounds like he's blaming the wife, as if It must be all her fault because she's pregnant, so he has to pay for a hooker. BTW peropaco and others. Picking up some tipsy hoser in a bar isn't any more noble. Either way you're still cheating on your wife.

The wife should dump him. He's obviously a loser.
22:11 November 26, 2009 by determined
Sex is a basic instinct and normally earn good values under relationship and but mostly rediculed if it contradicts the former. Apart from condemnation, is someone has some solution for a male who has to exercise restraint against basic instinct due to any reason( pregnant in this case) ?
22:58 November 26, 2009 by Nemesis
He is a waste of genetic material.

His wife should be informed and she should dump him as the irrelevance he is.
23:56 November 26, 2009 by Jasmines
Men, men , men!!!

they are the same...Eastern or Western..they are all the same

00:22 November 27, 2009 by Authentica
What a real jerk! Man can have sex with a pregnant woman even if she's in the 9th month, given it is no-risk pregnancy. Maybe the a..hole wanted to try some russian .
00:28 November 27, 2009 by Authentica
oups! haven't read the whole article and commented. His wife is about to give birth, not in her 5th months. However, not a legitimate excuse for his actions.
01:08 November 27, 2009 by Da Goat
Sweden is not such a large place .

I would guess that someone can put the pieces together ie someone with very pregnant wife who works for said company and lives not too far from the scene of the crime then just tell her!

maybe not necessary the media has reported (on ya the local) she will find out for sure and punish him for his wandering philandering.

If he had another excuse I would be more lenient on him but if you are about to be a father again this is rather low.

Nemesis you are an angry women for sure.
01:23 November 27, 2009 by Volodya
I never used a prostitute even in Las Vegas where it's legal.

It's just against my moral values. From the moral point of view clearly the guy is to blame because he's married (what singles do-its their private business).

however, the libertarians are dead right-it's not a government business to push its snout everywhere in a private life: government as an inherent totalitarian enemy of the people has been assigned by the people a duty to handle only 3 areas that the self-regulated free market cannot manage: national defense; law&order and infrastructure. You need a free and armed people to curtail your enemy government, to keep it in bay. You can judge who is a friend and who is an enemy of the people very easy: if a party/government/person is not afraid of the armed people, then it's a people's friend. Those who are afraid of their own people and want to disarm them are, apparently, the enemies. The gov. should go after the pimps because it is a crime while using prostitutes is only a moral issue. If you let your enemy government manage everything in your life like it's the case in the EuroZoo then automatically demographics plammet, fiscal crisis spiralling down, self-preservation instincts disappear and the society dies out. Soft tyranny of the Nanny State is a dead end of civilization, it's doomed.Good bye, Europe, welcome to Eurabia -all thanks to the Big Government
12:06 November 27, 2009 by ququ
I think, that it is very stupid article - it is natural for men to have a sex more often, then women need.... They need it as a food and if we pay for the food, why men can not pay for the sex, which they need as a food?.... I don't think that democracy is to allow lesbian and homosexual to marry and not allow people with normal sexual orientation to do sex with whom they want , for money or without it....
12:20 November 27, 2009 by Argentina84
Nemesis said "He is a waste of genetic material. His wife should be informed and she should dump him as the irrelevance he is. "

Totally agree!!! I hope she finds out some way! I think that the Swedish police should tell her. It's her right to know!!!

Ququ, you could not be more wrong!!! you said" It is natural for men to have a sex more often, then women need." That is a falacy!!! If you google the topic you will find out. Or ask my hubby.

But you just wrote that to stir debate, right?

The guy in this article is a bastard!
12:29 November 27, 2009 by lel
Oh, Nemesis. Life is not so black and white. It it were it would be a very boring place. I agree with gwyhyr.
13:11 November 27, 2009 by jonathanjames61
This guy should just get it straight,if it was the other way round,what will he do,So he should call his wife and beg for forgiveness,this should be done immidiately or as soon as his wife delivers depending onher situation,that will make him a good husband an at the same time have a clear concience,or else guilt of the heart may leed to heart attack,If the wife is smart enough she know what to do,but my advise is she should keep her husband,oko won lode,as said by my people.
13:48 November 27, 2009 by CarlBlack
I always find it ridiculous that in some country something is illegal and even punishable by jail, while a few kilometers across the border in other EU country one can do this freely. He could have just taken a ferry to Talinn (or to Helsinki?) and the whole thing would be legal and much cheaper for him, even without counting the fine...

Anyway, I understand why The local is becoming more and more tabloid journal, if such rather unimportant and personal matter related article is ranked as top read article.
14:31 November 27, 2009 by peropaco
I see the confederation of moralist and judges are coming out from the woodworks. How easy it is to run judgment on someone without even attempting to see the greater problem. It is nothing new that women, particularly after giving birth become cold as a frozen turkey. It is as if something dries up in them and they chastise and reject their husbands on a constant basis. I do understand they experience hormonal changes which could attribute to their sexual numbness. Nevertheless, if they wish to keep their marriage and family together, I suggest they should do the utmost and throw their husband a little action from time to time, even when they don't feel like it. http://www.womensinfidelity.com/
16:41 November 27, 2009 by Argentina84
If you think that cheating on your wife is ok because she is pregnant (and remember it's your baby too!!!!! It takes two to tango, right? ), and doesnt feel like having sex then you are not thinking with your mind nor your heart but with something else down there....;)

16:47 November 27, 2009 by DeafJeff
I will most definitely agree that this guy is an unfaithful putz. But, and especially to Jasmine up there, it is NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT NOT only men! I have NEVER, nor do I wish to, cheated on my wife. I adore my wife and when she doesn't want to have sex, I masturbate when it gets to be overwhelming. I have, however, been cheated on. Perhaps the only thing that is egalitarian is cheating. Again, it is asinine that this moron cheated on his wife for being pregnant.
20:08 November 27, 2009 by peropaco
Ah, los petiseros de las manos chicas estan dando sus opiniones. I congratulate the guy for looking for pleasure elsewhere. ThoughI think it was highly unnecessary he had to solicit the service from a prostitute. ;-))))
20:31 November 27, 2009 by rosencrentz
I don't understand what was done that is illegal?

Is it illegal in your country for 2 consenting adults to have sex for money? What an incredible situation, if that is true! And in Sweden? What an archaic law if that is the case!

The government has no business to be in consenting adults bedrooms! Why don't the police go do something worthwhile?
20:35 November 27, 2009 by ingvar
the family, in which the wife is not smart enough to give his husband a good blow job (not dangerous for baby, right?) does not deserve to exist.
23:26 November 27, 2009 by Osokin
5 months w/o sex omfg what is that relationship for ? She must be from the "ice age" movie.
03:35 November 28, 2009 by soultraveler3
Someone should tell the wife.

She has a right to know and make the choice to stay with him and try to work it out or to leave. On top of that she may now be exposed to STIs next time they do have sex.

His excuse is bs as well.

You can have sex while pregnant up to 9 months if everything is normal.

Not having sex for 5 months sucks but it might have been his choice. We don't know that. Many here assume it's the wife not wanting to have sex but it might be the other way around.

My friend has been complaining for 4 months that he hasn't had sex with his preggo wife. She wants to have sex but HE won't have sex with her when she's pregnant, he says it's gross, but he still complains. I told him he was stupid to think that when he's the one that did it to her.

Even if the couple couldn't have sex they could've talked about it with each other and came up with alternatives.

Lips, mouths, hands (yours and others) and toys are great ways to enjoy each other if you can't have full on sex.

Bottom line, the guy is a cheating jerk and the wife deserves to know.
05:49 November 28, 2009 by Greg in Canada
"Bottom line, the guy is a cheating jerk and the wife deserves to know."

10:03 November 28, 2009 by Osokin
If the wife "deserves" to know something so trivial as this, more importantly the guy should get a free dna test of the child at birth, done mandatorily by law, as aprox. 20% of the children being born are appointed to non biological fathers w/o them knowing it (google stats about this). If anyone tells they expect fidelity from their partner after not having sex for 5 months, well ... 99.9% it must be an abusive, selfish, self entitled, self serving and "deserving" person.
12:12 November 28, 2009 by muda
People make mistakes so did this man. the most important thing is he has regretted on his mistake. If the wife happens to know the story, she should forgive the man as he has regretted on his wrong doing.
22:36 November 28, 2009 by Rebel
Couldn't he just get drunk and use porn as most Swedish men do when the wife is too occupied with themselves to have sex?
03:53 November 29, 2009 by MasonPaul
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

Helen Rowland
11:27 November 30, 2009 by DAVID T
if she's not giving him any what does she expect? Typical selfish woman :-) She should get the 25,000 sek fine not him.
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