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Masturbating man reported for 'moaning louder than an animal'

The Local · 11 Aug 2011, 08:39

Published: 11 Aug 2011 08:39 GMT+02:00

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Neighbours of the man, who is resident in the Rosengård area of Malmö, had long suffered due to his tendency to watch television at high volumes.

But it was his screaming orgasms as he pleasured himself that really rubbed his neighbours up the wrong way, according to the local Sydsvenskan daily.

Five tenants living in the same building as the man have now filed a report with the Malmö environmental administration (Miljöförvaltningen) asking for action to be taken against their noisy neighbourly onanist.

In their report to the administration the neighbours are reported to have described how the man "masturbates and screams".

One of the neighbours reported furthermore how the man is prone to indulging his urges at any hour of the day and night, with the ensuing racket breaching the peace of the residential area with little forewarning.

Story continues below…

"He moans louder than an animal... I can feel how it affects my state of mind," the neighbour wrote in the report.

The neighbours decided to take the matter into their own hands and file a report as they felt their landlord had displayed a reluctance to intervene in the messy domestic dispute.

The Local (news@thelocal.se)

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Your comments about this article

09:25 August 11, 2011 by occassional
Not good for your eyesight Mr. Rosengård resident. Not good.
09:32 August 11, 2011 by StuartM
Must have been trying to copy the really noisy guy in Fäbodjäntan.
09:51 August 11, 2011 by echo lily
Poor guy has such mean neighbours,HAHA!
10:12 August 11, 2011 by Snoopy!
What a Wannnnnnker ! ; )
10:15 August 11, 2011 by darky
Are you sure it is only masturbation?? Maybe there is something more to this. lol
10:24 August 11, 2011 by andyron2
lol...mean neighbours....Put him in zoo.
10:43 August 11, 2011 by Smokebox
Oh please can't a guy have some fun??? Maybe he can get the government to sound proof his apartment. I would just give the complainers some ear plugs.
10:46 August 11, 2011 by J Jack
If he can prove addiction he will also be allowed to do it at work
10:48 August 11, 2011 by conboy
It only goes to show that one's work can never be complete - onwards and upwards!
10:58 August 11, 2011 by zooeden
Get a whore!!!
11:00 August 11, 2011 by Snoopy!
'moaning louder than an animal' and what animal are they comparing his wankkking moans to ? a mouse ,an elephant , a lion! ? please clarify this ambiguity
11:15 August 11, 2011 by andyron2
lol....The pic is funnier...of neighbour i suppose..some alien faced creature which looks like its is screaming and closing it ears at the same time.who does this cartoons?

someone explain that to me please?
11:19 August 11, 2011 by Gm_Tuzik
Please, forgive us, Munch, for abusing your masterpiece ! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scream
11:22 August 11, 2011 by Lemon1987
Splendid! maby he is working on some new atomo - masturbating project in his kitchen
11:22 August 11, 2011 by charubun pananon
Suggest him to moan in the tune of the sweetest song or let him buy the sound proof tool attached to his mouth.
11:23 August 11, 2011 by BillyB
The picture chosen to go with the story is brilliant, love the sense of humour of whoever selected that.

maybe the neighbours will "take matters into their own hands..."

there is a risk his actions will "rub off" on others...

Its nice to have a fun story..it gives "light relief" from all the bad news going on...

sorry...i will stop now...
12:09 August 11, 2011 by DaveN
Nah, don't stop now, release your frustrations, let it all out.
12:14 August 11, 2011 by Rap43
The picture is "The Scream" by Edvard Munch... it can't be our guy... both hands on his head... um not THAT head...
12:26 August 11, 2011 by jacquelinee


This is the best morning coffee entertainment I have had in ages. All your comments put me in a pleat from laughing. Poor guy, maybe his neighbours aren't getting any, Now that's entertainment. Give him a hand!!! (Hmmmm maybe not!)
12:29 August 11, 2011 by andyron2
Good creative and funny responses....may it will get unwanted atraction to kids on the fun story...good sense of humor for the pic selection and providing some relief.
12:31 August 11, 2011 by Borilla
Management is clearly taking a hands off approach.
12:51 August 11, 2011 by izbz
mayb TV producer can help to get him a spouse instead, they seems to be getting partners for farmers and single mothers on TV
13:11 August 11, 2011 by andyron2
@ Gm_Tuzik

no disrepect to Munch mate...i thought they were using own creativity and didnt think they would copy smth directly from his work...how refreshing it would be,if atleast few stories have a drawn picture instead of same routine ones.
14:15 August 11, 2011 by Svensksmith
Give Handy Andy some lotion...maybe his calluses are too rough.
14:15 August 11, 2011 by J. L. Belmar
What the neighbours should do is to stop using their binoculars while climbing on top of a table to get details.

10:58 August 11, 2011 by zooeden

Get a whore!!!

Maybe he has one and does not function. Hand is better in some cases.

12:26 August 11, 2011 by jacquelinee



Waiting for the coffee.

I would never give him a hand. What will I do without it later?

I can bet this will be the never ending comments story. Heja Kafkaland.
14:21 August 11, 2011 by FireBoy
this sentence is super funny "The neighbours decided to take the matter into their own hands" ! :))
14:28 August 11, 2011 by J. L. Belmar
The man is paying the price for not having taught his neighbours how to use both hands as as playmate when taking the matter into their own hands. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

Envy is the name of the game.
14:57 August 11, 2011 by andyron2
The Bible tells us to love our neighbours, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people.This guy can find some uncomplaining neighbours in Christiana.The neighbours have invaded his privacy,or else how would they be so sure he is mastrubating everytime??? Jealousyyyyy
15:54 August 11, 2011 by muscle
HAHAHAHAHAH :P of all the news :P this one got the highest number of comments yet. hahahahaha
16:08 August 11, 2011 by andyron2
May be he has a little hedgehog at home.and taking care of him in everyway:)
16:11 August 11, 2011 by farnoxo
"The neighbours decided to take the matter into their own hands"...LOL!


"The Bible tells us to love our neighbours, and also to love our enemies; probably because generally they are the same people." However I am sure that the authors of the bible did not have a manic masturbator in mind when they wrote this.

"generally they are the same people".uhhhm...no...I don't know too many people who moan like an animal when they choke the chicken.
16:20 August 11, 2011 by andyron2

it was a fun quote :).Yeah author who wrote that had no remote chance of anything like this in his mind.this time i wanted to support the guy since he is not my neighbour:P.

im sure he will be let off with a warning unless the neighbours recorded the sounds or imitate the screamings to the police.this news is fun for most except neighbours.
16:21 August 11, 2011 by tombby11
when are we going to find a sound isolating walls between the neighbors ? or was he using loud speakers :P
16:36 August 11, 2011 by J. L. Belmar
The guy at The Scream" by Edvard Munch is actually shouting: "Hell, where did a leave my binoculars!" I want to enjoy the film too.
19:09 August 11, 2011 by motti
were the neighbours questionned as to whether he is left or right handed? Mind you, he might be fortunate enough to require both hands.
20:27 August 11, 2011 by scrawler
=^^= Well my neighbors are very good :) , I guess his neighbors is lesbian !
21:03 August 11, 2011 by alloallo
louder than what animal?
21:05 August 11, 2011 by scrawler
louder thAN me
21:31 August 11, 2011 by Icarusty
It's not healthy to keep it all backed up there...
21:41 August 11, 2011 by bla_bla
Poor guys might be pissed off...
22:39 August 11, 2011 by bells on the knight
how the heck did they know he was masturbating? I mean some sick minded people must have been peeping tom......

the guy could of been doing push ups with a certain animal sounding growl hehe
23:22 August 11, 2011 by J. L. Belmar
Maybe he was playing tennis. Remember the moanings Monica Seles used to do and the ones are made by Maria Sharapova?

I do not think they are masturbating on court and moaning because of that. Well, who knows. TL knows but hides and TV4 edits.
00:29 August 12, 2011 by Smallnose
One must have reference material as a neighbour to give it a classification as louder than an animal. It makes me wonder what kind of odd hobbies those neighbours are having.
02:55 August 12, 2011 by sgt_doom
OK, which one was it?

Was it Claes Borgstrom?

Or Thomas Bodstrom???

Or Carl Bildt, reliving the good times as a director at Lundin Petroleum during the massacres in Sudan?
05:46 August 12, 2011 by Da Goat
yeah poor old chap the neighbours should indeed take it into their own hands and give him a hand, or at least check his hearing aids so he can hear himself coming and going, must be no fun whacking off in silence! he probably needs some excitement in life ...... not even the authorities will let him get a helper, come on neighbours help him out! ROFL.

send him off to the old folks home to brighten their day also!
06:02 August 12, 2011 by bells on the knight
i can just imagine half a dozen neighbors with their ears glued to the poor chap's door in absence of any visual contact, but still how did they know he was getting off?
11:48 August 12, 2011 by dilkush
The gentleman is playing tennis on Wi game...how can he disturb so many neighbors is a big question...it should either be 2 or 4 neighbours on either side...looks like neighbours are all creepy.
13:37 August 12, 2011 by J. L. Belmar
11:48 August 12, 2011 by dilkush

The neighbours are just envious. They requested advice from the man, who did not want to discover his secret. So, the neighbours, instead of using their hand to satisfy themselves, went to the police asking for some helping hands, ,but not for the neighour, you know.

But wait. What about if he has a daily female companion giving him some ten blowjobs a day? No wonder the neighbours are green of envy.
14:45 August 12, 2011 by conboy
The neighbours must feel like they are in the eye of a storm.
15:18 August 12, 2011 by IWP
Good to see the neighbours 'took it into their own hands'.
16:11 August 12, 2011 by J. L. Belmar
Neighbours should have given him a helping mouth, just in case the one provoking the moaning stopped functioning. You never know.
16:52 August 12, 2011 by conboy
You know wagging tongues and all that kind of thing neighbours can be way too oral.
21:36 August 12, 2011 by J. L. Belmar
Someone informed me that the neighbours are of French origin. So there you have it.
20:34 August 13, 2011 by newcommer
If the neighbors witnessed, they are part of it.
23:23 August 13, 2011 by Tanskalainen
War can wait, masturbate.
20:32 August 17, 2011 by Thoddyt
Complaining neighbour to police: "He just goes onan onan onan on..."
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