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School to bullied lesbian teen: don't be so gay

5 Jul 2012, 16:49

Published: 05 Jul 2012 16:49 GMT+02:00

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The victim's report, which has filed with the Swedish Equality Ombudsman (Diskrimineringsombudsmannen, DO), explains how the teen had to quit her studies at the Munkgård high school after severely mistreatment from other students.

Teachers at the school were unhelpful when she raised the matter with them, telling the girl to "tone down" her sexuality as other students were "confused and scared" by it.

According to the girl's report, the incidents began when she was assaulted in 2010 by a fellow student who had hit her in the head, causing a minor head fracture.

“She threatened to shove pliers into my eyes and then she took hold of the pliers and delivered three hefty hits against my temples and the area close to my eyes,” the girl wrote in the report.

When she later consulted the school about the incident, teachers told her it was all her own fault.

According to the report, the school told her:

“You’re the one to blame. It was your own fault. You provoked her,” adding that she should have “just hit back.”

After online research, the girl discovered that the school must report any mistreatment that occurs during school hours, and confronted the school, only to be told that it was up to her to make a report.

Story continues below…

The case is now being handled by the DO, but before any compensation decisions are made, the school will be given the chance to comment, according to DO case officer Sara Stenberg.

“We have made a request for the principal of the school to comment on the case. This is standard procedure. They have until July 6th to make a comment,” she told The Local.

Salomon Rogberg

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Your comments about this article

18:15 July 5, 2012 by Atlas
And people still think Sweden is the haven of human rights and liberties, where individuals sexual orientations are a personal issue not warranting threats and bullying...
19:06 July 5, 2012 by anonymous4
One school kid's word against another. Do I sense a lawsuit?
19:07 July 5, 2012 by bcterry
This is just the kind of response you would expect from Iran, just before they dragged her off to face this,


"Hanging of five alleged homosexuals in Iran"
19:27 July 5, 2012 by entry
Being gay is an automatic get out of jail card for any and all obscene and rude behavior. Why is it that this particular school will not excuse this girl's behavior and persecute everyone else in the school?
19:45 July 5, 2012 by Uncle
Personally, I hate bullies and the fact that in Sweden, it is the victims who are punished by a school transfer, rather than the bullies.

However, I know that I may be out of line here, but expecting the kids to accept whatever outlook and behaviour (or rather what people DO and not ARE) as one pleases is quite naive.

As shocking and unbelievable as it may sound, 16 y/o are not exactly the most tolerant society in the world. If one decides to display ones love to cats by wearing solely cat related apparel in the school, one would take a calculated risk.

The same goes for obvious gays (emos, goths, satanists, punks etc) who are coming to school in obvious unusual apparel or "butch" for girls or dragqueen for guys outlook. As I understood, nobody tells her whom to love. The bullying is coming from the outlook and behaviour that is known to many.

Also and I this is my PERSONAL experience, "butch" girls are often on "defense" and often their handling of ridicule is aggressive and boyish. This in turn gives them the honour of "if you look like a duck and walk like a duck - you are a duck". Like this fractures happen, since BOYS like to award each other with fractures.

I am not saying that this was the case here, since there is no info whatsoever, but the events that I described are not exactly imaginary.
21:13 July 5, 2012 by respect4ALL
Comment removed by The Local for breach of our terms.
21:49 July 5, 2012 by CDRoth
The Japanese have a saying... The nail that sticks up is pounded down.
22:07 July 5, 2012 by Swedishmyth
The Swedish government has a fetish for guilty people...so long as they're not guilty of crimes against God, i.e. government.
22:18 July 5, 2012 by Dr. Dillner

Excellent point.

The student needs to stop flaunting her sexuality and focus on studying.
22:20 July 5, 2012 by 007
Skolverket has strict guidelines requiring a school to take action and responsibility against bullies and to protect the bullied. The motive to bully is never exculpatory.

What that means is that any individual can be as "odd" as he or she likes and not be the victim of bullying. So what or how she behaves is irrelevant. Bullies normally act out based on their own insecurities, so the only true wrong-doers are the school for failing to fulfill their duties according to the rules they must adhere to.
23:16 July 5, 2012 by bcterry
@ 007,

You have it exactly right.
00:22 July 6, 2012 by Uncle

Good point in regards to the fact that the criticism here is towards the school and not the bullies. Juridically you are absolutely correct. Unfortunately the law is not exactly the reflection of reality.

I am sure that the LAW in Iraq is specifying that your freedom of expression is sacred. However when you are a guy walking down the main street of Baghdad, wrapped in an american flag, while hugging another guy and dragging the Koran behind you on a thread, there is a tiny chance that your IQ is not sufficient enough to understand that while protected by the law, your life insurance agent may not be inclined to renew your contract at that very moment.

Now apply that extreme example to the realities of a high school. You have NO idea whether this girl was in fact aggressive. You have no idea under which circumstances she was attacked.

You do not know whether her male-like behaviour made her taste from the male life for a while, which caused her to run to the authorities like a chicken, where a guy would just swallow the defeat. Me neither.

The only fact is that she was in a fight with another GIRL and lost. However the fact that someone in the school mentioned that she should "tone down her sexuality" and that "she provoked" the attacker brings one to some (perhaps erroneous) conclusions.
00:33 July 6, 2012 by esvahnt
gays man or woman tend to be exibicionist

thats why they get negative and even agressive reactions .i know some gays who are discreet and everybody goes well with them

even i have heard from one of them that these exibicionist are not good for them just because of what has just happened .they even say thay are quiet because they have their own meeting places restaurants and clubs

of course if you have little kids you dont want this people inyecting their ideas on our childrens minds

kids absorb like sponges is different if they have 18 or 20 years old then they are allready done
00:36 July 6, 2012 by 007
Uncle, good that you understand that this is about how things are spelled out legally and not about speculative supposition and conjecture. And great that you also acknowledge that the school acted in an unacceptable way and that's what was reported to DO.

I hope DO throws the book at the school and specifically whomever is responsible for such an absurd and hateful response attempting to allay blame on the victim.
02:11 July 6, 2012 by GLO
What a waste of time, grow up, life is real. FIT IN or be a looser your whole life......Money wont make you right or normal.
05:01 July 6, 2012 by entry
"tone down" her sexuality as other students were "confused and scared"

The school has a responsibility to protect the students from sexual predictors. In this case it seems the school was lacking and the other students took action against the offender themselves.

You are gay, bravo for you. You are a teen and were once in school. The other students are in school to learn and to get good grades so that they can advance. They could care less about your sexual preferences & activities. Save it all up and march in the parade in Stockholm once a year where others like you feel compelled to disclose their sexual activities on the public streets. Keep your crap out of the classroom.
06:51 July 6, 2012 by VicTaulic
Comment removed by The Local for breach of our terms.
07:13 July 6, 2012 by robban70226
Im my experience lesbians are usually 3 ball butches that always try to control and manipulate others, Their behavious can be terrible, Just look at them in any gay club, always trouble makers,

Being gay is not an excuse to do whatever you want and that evey´body must puyup with their antisocial behaviour,

Maybe she got what she deserve
08:35 July 6, 2012 by senlac
Ok - let's get this right.

A homosexual woman is a woman who prefers the intimate company of men, if she prefers women she is heterosexual

A homosexual man is a man who prefers the the intimate company of men, if he prefers women he is heterosexual.

Got that, Local?
09:13 July 6, 2012 by Trenatos
There seems to be lots of missing information in this article, HOWEVER there are laws designed to protect students from bullying and threats to their health and life.

The school did not follow any protocol and their action needs to be reviewed.

It's true, in many cases in Swedish schools the victim ends up further victimized rather than the offenders being dealt with (Such as transferring to other schools).

There are further issues with this, IT'S ILLEGAL in Sweden to threaten others, and cases such as this should be taken to the police and the offender should be expelled from the school.
09:42 July 6, 2012 by Snood

What?, I genuinely can't tell if you're being obtuse or just really dumb.
10:04 July 6, 2012 by Da Goat
Senlac what planet do you come from?

Homo means the same so it is male-male or female-female is homosexual So therefore You got it Wrong!

really! one should not flaunt your sexuality at all no matter what your preference is ! Heterosexual people don't make a big song and dance so homosexuals should do like them and shut the fork up.

this is what makes me sick of them, if they just quietly did their thing and kept to themselves without a fuss then they would not get smacked up nearly so much.

the school got it right ! the girl is there to learn and it seems she was taught a lesson so maybe one could hope she learns ! Something.
11:21 July 6, 2012 by Shibumi
Sexual orientation, manner of dress and/or non-conformity of any kind does not justify a skull fracture. Period.

This is not only bullying, but also assault (threat of bodily harm) AND battery (actual bodily harm). Those of you who think that she somehow "deserved" it for whatever reason are part of the problem... Grow up!
11:54 July 6, 2012 by Uncle

"I hope DO throws the book at the school and specifically whomever is responsible for such an absurd and hateful response attempting to allay blame on the victim."

I am sorry, such juridically developed person as you surely does not suggest that expressing a personal opinion in regards to the persons behaviour may or should be defined as "absurd and hateful"?

A kid who comes with viking horns stuck to his head into the classroom may expect a LEGALLY and MORALLY correct rebuff from the school administration as a butch and aggressive lesbian, who behaves like an irritated polish truck driver??? Do you observe any LEGAL difference?

The fact that she displays her sexuality shall not be different from declaring one following the Papua tribes religion and traditions and coming to the school looking like this:


Expecting that the law would forbid the school administration to express an opinion (subjectively "hateful" or not) in regards to this, is a juridical absurd. Hope that you understand this simple reality.
12:11 July 6, 2012 by olga118
To all of you who say she shouldn't "flaunt her sexuality"....I am guessing that you would not have a problem with a man and a woman walking down the street with their arms around each other, or a man kissing his wife goodbye in front of work in the morning. What a bunch of HYPOCRITES you are! All those statements you have made just display your fear and ignorance. I feel sorry for you.
12:28 July 6, 2012 by Kalyissa
Agree 100% with olga118 and Shibumi .

I'm actually pretty disgusted by the people who have commented here. Everyone has the right to love another human being exclusing children of course without being bullied or worse as you can see in several countries.

This is a 16 year old girl who was hit in the head and got skull damage from it

Actually as the saying goes. "One doth protest to much" makes you wonder about the people who are vehemently against homosexuals showing thier love through kissing or such like in public. Are you afraid that your true feelings will show?

also Da Goat

"really! one should not flaunt your sexuality at all no matter what your preference is ! Heterosexual people don't make a big song and dance so homosexuals should do like them and shut the fork up."

Oh so the straight couples on the street who are cuddling and sticking thier tongues down each others throughts aren't flaunting thier straightness?
12:29 July 6, 2012 by Mxzf
I don't get it. If the victim was assaulted physically, why were there no police charges for assault? "Minor head fracture" would normally be enough for jail time.
12:36 July 6, 2012 by robban70226
wait wait, her sexual orientation was not the proble,

Her unruling macho bully behaviour was the problem for what i understand
13:30 July 6, 2012 by Tennin
@Mxzf This is Sweden you're talking about. Jail sentences are far and few between especially for teenagers.
13:34 July 6, 2012 by NyDag
If you go around flaunting sexual behaviour that is not normal, you will get bullied. Nothing new here. Time to move on.
14:45 July 6, 2012 by Uncle
Aaand here we go. The females started to moan.

Olga and Kalyissa. If the case was that she was standing on a side kissing a girl and all of a sudden got surrounded by KKK and beaten to half death, I would agree. But listen to robban. You have NO IDEA what circumstances the injury happened.

Your blame is as valid as a statement that a guy who is talking to a girl in a bar and got beaten - is beaten BECAUSE of his heterosexuality.

You do not know why this girl got in a fight with another GIRL. You have no idea whether the fight was initiated by the lesbian. You have no idea about anything here, but you start burning bras JUST because the victim was lesbian.

You would not jump to a defense of a guy, who is displaying his heterosexuality in this sleezy and aggressive way that you surely experienced in the past. But apparently getting a fracture WHILE being lesbian clears one from any responsibility without any regard to circumstances...
15:59 July 6, 2012 by Liquidmonkey
bullying is bad BUT there is some missing info here, as usual from theLOCAL.

was this person acting in a extremely weird manner at school and intimidating others or maybe getting in 'everyones face' about being gay?

the fact that teachers told the student to 'tone down the gayness' sounds like the student was crossing the line.
17:41 July 6, 2012 by tadchem
Schools can be socially brutal. They have been since they first admitted teens. These creates an environment for learning social coping skills. One important skill learned in school is the ability to remain inconspicuous.

When that fails explosive over-reaction can become an attractive option. That is what happened at Columbine High School in Colorado, US in 1999.

Some students never learn not to play with vipers, and the teachers don't give that lecture.
17:56 July 6, 2012 by 007
People seem to continue to confuse the duty of the school to intervene in acts of bullying, especially when compounded with assault and battery and any speculative "motive" the victim could have supplied. It's irrelevant.

Every student has a right to be as expressive and individualistic as he or she would like to be without harassment and threats. It's a fundamental right supported by the guidelines the school is required to uphold. Their failure is the issue.
17:57 July 6, 2012 by k2kats
Beautifully stated, 007!

If (and that's a big IF) this teen was genuinely "flaunting" her sexuality in an otherwise socially oppressive atmosphere (i.e. high school), a dedicated nonbiased educator would recognize this as a huge red flag and would find out why, help (not repress) her if needed, and use this as a teachable moment to educate the students, faculty and administration about inclusion
20:05 July 6, 2012 by ann2
Oddly enough, the response from the school is what I would expect from a Swedish school in general, about anything really. I might make fun of it, but it would be the reality. Hit back. Conform. Be part of the pecking order and where you are in it depends on your own willingness to give up principle. There's a lot of say one thing and do another in this country, I don't know where it comes from but it's really obvious to a foreigner.
20:24 July 6, 2012 by Uncle
"Every student has a right to be as expressive and individualistic as he or she would like to be without harassment and threats."

That is where you are not answering. IS it in fact the case?

Can a kid come painted as a masai instead of clothing and expect full support from the school? Can a kid wear a Nazi uniform as an expression of his opinions and get a full support from his school? Can one come dressed as Jesus having only a garment and a cross for clothing?

In regards to bullying. What facts do you know? Practically nothing.

Just an example. An acquaintance of mine who is a school teacher has a kid in a school, who is not only physically bullying the kids, he was even caught sexually assaulting a 7 y/o girl.

The social services with his parents turned everything against the teachers, since apparently HE is the victim. HE had no friends and HE is the one isolated (in fact the corridor was emptying, when he came out, since he was attacking every kid standing in his way). Apparently the isolated little boy had no choice, but to resort to physical and sexual violence and the teachers did not see this as a cry for help from a desperate tortured soul.

When an administrator was informing the teachers of their "insensitive behavior towards a victim", the "victim" was standing behind him, smiling and showing the finger to the teachers.

This is how things are done in Sweden and this is why one should be skeptical towards stories such as this.
20:38 July 6, 2012 by olga118
@Uncle. Apparently you have some problem with reading comprehension. My issue is with the people who posted saying that she shouldn't flaunt her sexuality. There is no evidence presented in the article that suggests that she "flaunted" anything.

You don't actually know whether I am male or female. Again, you made an inference because of my username.

I have always, and will always defend people who are assaulted because of what they look like, who they love, what religion they practice or where they come from because I am a human being.

Stop trying to make this a sexist issue, the only sexist here is you.
21:17 July 6, 2012 by Uncle

"There is no evidence presented in the article that suggests that she "flaunted" anything."

Mmm. No evidence? How about a hint?

"Teachers at the school were unhelpful when she raised the matter with them, telling the girl to "tone down" her sexuality as other students were "confused and scared" by it"

If SWEDISH teachers (who are arguably the most politically correct people in the world) mention that to her, does it not provide a HINT in regards to her behaviour?

As for the gender - what does it even matter what I think about you? Why the defense? Call me Elisabeth if you would like. Lizzy is even better. If one calls oneself "Olga" one SHOULD EXPECT that people would assume that one is a female and if you are not - WHAT does it matter?

Finally, you have no idea whether she was assaulted. As you have correctly pointed out, you have no idea about anything here. Neither do I. Perhaps SHE assaulted the other girl and got her behind whipped. Also, who said that the fight happened BECAUSE of who she loves? Do you know if she did not verbally assault the "aggressor"? Do you know if she was assaulted because she was aggressive? You have no idea whatsoever.

So stop whining. It is clear without the username what gender you belong to. I can hear your high-pitch hysterical voice, lacking any reason through the internet.
21:26 July 6, 2012 by olga118
Uncle, My, my this does have you hysterical, doesn't it? I wonder why you dislike women so much....there's always a reason, usually goes back to childhood.
22:25 July 6, 2012 by entry
Seems to me that the sexual predictor was successfully fought off by a student at the school. The school recognized this and others are sympathizing with the attacker because the attacker in this case happens to be queer.
22:29 July 6, 2012 by olga118
@entry. Well, I don't know what a sexual "predictor" but there is nothing in that article that supports your every so intelligent hypothesis.
23:29 July 6, 2012 by entry
@olga touch typist that often neglects to put on his reading glasses so he can see what he has actually typed. Oops :)
00:35 July 7, 2012 by Uncle

"Uncle, My, my this does have you hysterical, doesn't it? "

Olga, my good buddy, my pal... So I wrote that I hear hysterical voice of yours and your sharp rebuff is that I am hysterical? Man, you got me there. You crushed me with your sharp as a razor sarcasm. I am shot and laying dead at your feet.

FYI, this is not hate. This is ridicule. My man, Olya, this how it feels when someone makes fun of your logical or rather illogical attempt to argue.

But no, you are right. It must be my mothers fault.
02:10 July 7, 2012 by olga118
03:04 July 7, 2012 by entry
@22:29 July 6, 2012 by olga118

It has been my experience that the copywriters and activists at thelocal.se are unreliable in their English translations of the TT news service and local Swedish Newspapers. I tried to search for established Swedish News sources briefly and was unable to find any other source than thelocal.se regarding the "Teenage Lesbian bully who had her butt kicked in by fellow students who were fed up with her sexual campaign of terror in the classroom".

Do you have any reliable sources that can shed light on this? -Paul
21:37 July 7, 2012 by dizzymoe33
Gay, Straight, Pink, Purple, Blue or Black the bottom line is Bulling should not be tolerated!! Period!! If the school can not step up to intervene for the girls safety then the police need to be brought in to help her. Bottom line everyone is so focused on sexuality or color of skin you have forgotten the true issue-which is bulling!! It can not be tolerated someone needs to stand up and say enough is enough!!
23:44 July 7, 2012 by entry
@21:37 July 7, 2012 by dizzymoe33

You are so right. I Swedish high school is no place for sexual predictors and the school was so right to condemn her unwanted sexual campaign of tyranny against her fellow students. Schools must be maintained as a place of learning. Yes, the police should be brought in and the various activist organizations consisting of adults who prey on these young children should be called into question and prosecuted to the full extent of the law. It is reprehensible that children even in daycare are used as pawns by manipulative sexually motivated adults for the sole purpose of exploiting the young bodies of children and advancing their political goal.
07:06 July 8, 2012 by Horganka
We put all animals in a zoo so why don't we put all the bullies in a particular school. Then they can all be eachother's victims.
07:20 July 8, 2012 by entry
@07:06 July 8, 2012 by Horganka

Don't we call that Stockholm?
16:53 July 8, 2012 by bcterry
"You are so right. I Swedish high school is no place for sexual predictors and the school was so right to condemn her unwanted sexual campaign of tyranny against her fellow students."

LOL, "sexual campaign of tyranny"?

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