Or at least you think you do. Maybe you swear by Värnhems Falafel. Maybe Falafel by Yousef in Jägersro is your go-to. Maybe Köpenhamns Falafel gets your vote. You have strong opinions of how bad the falafel is in cities you’ve never been to. But one thing is for certain – alla grönsaker, blandad sås (“all vegetables, mixed sauce”).
You proudly stand up for your new hometown
Although it’s safer than many cities, Malmö has received a bit of a reputation as a dangerous place where you can barely go outside without something bad happening to you. Your mum has probably called you on at least one occasion to make sure you’re OK after reading a newspaper article about something happening here. You know you’ve been here long enough when you hear yourself responding to her by saying “it’s not that bad, I feel safer here than I did at home!” Although having said that…
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You have had your bicycle stolen at least once
This only needs to happen to you once before you learn to invest in a good bike lock. Maybe two. Actually, get three for good measure. And don’t even think about leaving your bike parked in the city centre overnight. In Malmö, “used” and “stolen” are synonyms when buying a bike on Blocket.
You have stopped complaining about how badly the cyclists behave
When you first arrived, you were terrified to cycle. Nobody indicates! People cycle in both directions on the bike paths! Why doesn’t anybody use bike lights? And why did the bike lane just disappear and leave me alone with the cars on a busy road?
That was in the past. Now you just shrug your shoulders and keep pedalling. You know the quickest way to get anywhere is by bike, especially when Skånetrafiken’s public transport network is down for maintenance so you can’t buy a bus ticket. You’re one of us now.
You start doubting how good your Swedish actually is
You thought you were OK at speaking Swedish. You can talk to your colleagues with no problems and were pretty sure you knew what they were saying. You’ve even got a hang of the southern Swedish accent in Malmö, which leaves Stockholmers wondering if they accidentally got off the train in Denmark.
Then you meet your partner’s uncle from other parts of Skåne and don’t understand a thing. “It’s OK”, your partner explains, “he’s from Trelleborg, I barely understand him myself”. It turns out the Malmö accent isn’t the most incomprehensible in all of Sweden, after all.
You’ve gone vegan
Malmö is known as Sweden’s “vegan capital”, with the best vegan food scene in Sweden (if you ask people from Malmö, that is). If you find yourself wondering whether you should cut back on the meat and dairy, you’re a proper Malmöit. It’s not hard in a city with such good vegan places like bakery Leve, restaurant Rau, and Ica Söder’s extremely well-stocked vegan and vegetarian department.
You can go on safari without even leaving the city
Chances are your courtyard is home to an adorable family of wild rabbits. Why are there so many wild rabbits in Malmö? Are there more seagulls than people? You have accepted being attacked by nesting seagulls on your commute as part of your daily life. And are the rumours really true that there are goats living on the island in Slottsparken?
And finally… you talk about going “to Sweden” if you’re travelling north of Skåne
When this happens, there is no turning back. You’re off to visit friends in Gothenburg or Stockholm and you find yourself telling people you’re visiting “Sweden” for the weekend. You’ve forgotten that Skåne is not an independent country, no matter how many red and yellow flags we fly. All hope is lost. You’re a Malmöit now.
Are there any quintessential Malmö experiences you think we’ve missed? Let us know in the comments!