Snuggling With the Enemy

My Fake Magazine of LIfe in Sweden – by Scott Ritcher, American publisher of a real magazine called K Composite

Archive for June, 2011

Tex-Mex food, Swedish style

Tuesday, June 14th, 2011

On behalf of the Internet, I would like to apologize to any Mexicans or Texans (or Texicans) who have the misfortune to view this reprehensible photograph.

Here we have an example of what someone in Sweden apparently thinks Tex-Mex food is like: cold beans, dry black olives, diced cucumbers, some type of flavored chips, and geez, I don’t know what that is near the bowl of cheese on the left… pineapples or pears?

I can’t explain why there are four empty shot glasses on the shelf with the chips. (Did some hombres already come by and drink all the tequila?) Nor can I give any reasonable justification for the price of 99 kronor (about $16 US). Sure, it includes health care and college, but…

About the only things that make sense here are the jalapeño peppers and the warm ground beef. Some good that does this vegetarian. The flour tortillas under the red cover on the right were also kept slightly warmer than room temperature.

Swedish people are just too clean, organized and opposed to flavor to do Mexican food right. This society is just a li’l too lagom for the excitement, mess and spiciness that really sloppy, hearty Mexican food would wreak.

I’ve been in Sweden almost two years and I can’t recall ever hearing a pick-up truck driving by blasting mariachi music or seeing a single dude wearing a poncho and sleeping under his sombrero. Not a single one.

Again. My apologies if this photograph has caused you any hardship.

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I’m Still Here

Friday, June 3rd, 2011


I recently saw the Joachin Phoenix film “I’m Still Here” which documents his two-year hoax of leaving acting to become a hip-hop performer.

A few people have asked me if I could recommend seeing the film. My answer is an uneasy no. Uneasy because I think parts of the film are pure genius and other parts are simply hilarious (in a good way – they’re supposed to be funny and they really are).

The film is just too long and a few scenes drag on past the point of relevance to the film. However, I can certainly see that this film has the potential to be a huge cult favorite. Perhaps it will become one of the ultimate “party films.”

In America, the popularity of the party film has been growing steadily, but it hasn’t quite made its way to Sweden. At Swedish parties, there is talking and music and booze, but outside of New Year’s Eve, I have never seen a television turned on.

It’s not uncommon in the United States for a movie to be playing at a party, even if there’s also music on in another room. “Old School” and “Snatch” are fantastic party films, as well as any movie filled with classic, quotable lines.

I’m not a filmmaker, but I have had an urge since seeing “I’m Not Here.” My urge is to edit the picture down to a version less than an hour in length. That’s a film that would have a quick tempo and would be one I could recommend.

This will probably never happen because I’m busy enough with my own projects. I may also feel differently if I watch “I’m Not Here” again, now that I know why to expect. The pace might be better when I know what I’m looking at.

I’m leaving for two weeks in America on Tuesday, so I’ll report back if, in fact, “I’m Not Here” has taken its rightful place at US parties, alongside keg stands and plastic Solo cups.

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