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Ex-wife wants to move back to Sweden with the kids

Should I move with them?

Martin565
post 23.Nov.2020, 10:17 PM
Post #61
Joined: 4.Oct.2017

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TheExpatEagle
post 24.Nov.2020, 08:17 PM
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Cheeseroller
post 26.Nov.2020, 08:53 PM
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Location: Germany
Joined: 10.Apr.2007

What if you do move to Sweden and in a year or so, she moves to the other end of Sweden? Or wants to move to another country for her career?

Unfortunately, she holds all of the cards. She has a high income and can defend herself in court, whereas you may not be able to. Also you want to avoid bitterness such that she makes access difficult and poisons the kids minds.

I left my marriage when the kids were young and after a few years moved to Sweden. The ex had moved a 4 hour drive away so weekends with the kids at my home meant a crazy long round trip. I called them every weekend and they visited every school holiday. I was able to do things with them that they didn't do with Mum and that created super memories for us all.

You won't lose your kids because of distance, only indifference. I know it is rough, but that is the cost of a failed marriage and adults putting their needs and wishes above kids.
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TheExpatEagle
post 27.Nov.2020, 07:59 PM
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Joined: 23.Aug.2016

QUOTE (Cheeseroller @ 26.Nov.2020, 08:53 PM) *
What if you do move to Sweden and in a year or so, she moves to the other end of Sweden? Or wants to move to another country for her career?Unfortunately, she holds all of the ... (show full quote)


I wonder if this kind of thing is more prevelant these days because it's more common for people from different countries to get together?

Even before the internet, UK marriages were failing at a faster rate for various reasons so if you throw in different cultures I wonder if after the initial honeymoon period there is more stress in a marriage between people from different countries than people from the same one?

When I moved to Sweden it had the reputation of being the divorce capital of Europe not to mention suicide.

Are the odds evened out if the couple live in a 3rd country or if it just magnifies the problem?
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Maya707
post 29.Nov.2020, 02:49 PM
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Martin565
post 29.Nov.2020, 03:15 PM
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Grommet
post 29.Nov.2020, 05:29 PM
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Martin565
post 29.Nov.2020, 05:57 PM
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PSR730
post 29.Nov.2020, 06:36 PM
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Joined: 29.Nov.2020

Hi,

I lived in Switzerland for 12 years and moved to Sweden in 2018. Sweden is not an easy country as it is the case of Switzerland when it comes to social life. There are two major things that I would say that are better in Sweden, 1) kindergarden is very cheap (you pay it with taxes) and 2) more progressive (from an institutional perspective i.e., the government agencies) but dont expect to find progressive people all around and think that is a vibrant place because it is NOT, people are as shy as Swiss and even more individualistic.

Otherwise Switzerland beats Sweden for K.O, as simple as that. I would recommend you either to try to stay in Switzerland as much as you can, in general it is difficult to get better anywhere else in the world...or at least wait until you find a job in Sweden, remember that if you move to Sweden you lose your unemplyment insurance (Arbeitslosigkeit) rights. I think that can be a good argument you could use with your ex, so you can keep providing for your kids.

Dont move to Sweden without a job, use all your means to stay if possible, take a look to the documentary called Swedish theory of love.

I just opened this account to tell you this...Good luck!



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SteffromBristol
post 30.Nov.2020, 09:44 AM
Post #70
Joined: 18.Nov.2020

Hi all,

Thank you a lot for your messages and advice, I took all of them very seriously and read them carefully.

The general consensus seems to be that my best option is to stay in Switzerland for as long as possible and to try and keep my children here as well.

I had a 30 mins conversation with a lawyer last week, who essentially confirmed that my ex-wife needs to have my consent to move the children to another country, and if we took the case to court I would have good chances of a positive outcome (for me). As far as I understood, it boils down to:

- Switzerland is the only "home" the kids have ever known, all their friends are here, they have been studying in the Swiss system (in German) since kindergarten.
- My ex has a good job here, so she can't say she needs to go back to Sweden to provide for the kids.
- I have better chances of finding a job here than in Sweden (because I don't speak Swedish).
- My ex-wife and I share custody 50/50, so nobody gets to make unilateral decisions about the kids.

I plan on talking to my ex-wife this week about the situation and I will let her know my thoughts about her idea to move to Sweden. I really hope we can keep this amicable, but I am ready to fight for my kids if it comes down to that.

Thank you again for your kind comments. Wish me luck!
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Martin565
post 30.Nov.2020, 12:26 PM
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ChocOwl
post 30.Nov.2020, 12:29 PM
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Joined: 17.Jan.2011

QUOTE (SteffromBristol @ 30.Nov.2020, 09:44 AM) *
- My ex-wife and I share custody 50/50, so nobody gets to make unilateral decisions about the kids.

Someone posted a reply saying that your ex might move elsewhere in Sweden (far away, at your inconvenience) if she moves to Sweden however the above quoted text would also apply in Sweden. The consent of both parents is needed to change the registered residential address, school/preschool enrolment and stuff like that.
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Grommet
post 30.Nov.2020, 03:36 PM
Post #73
Joined: 10.May.2020

QUOTE (ChocOwl @ 30.Nov.2020, 01:29 PM) *
Someone posted a reply saying that your ex might move elsewhere in Sweden (far away, at your inconvenience) if she moves to Sweden however the above quoted text would also app ... (show full quote)

Ya, sure. At least up to the point before you are completely screwed over by the Swedish system that considers men as "toxic" and all that other woke shit. And that will favour the "mother" almost every time.

C'mon Choccy, you've been, quite feebly, trying to cover over the "well-known" fact.

OP, great to hear. Glad Switzerland actually has some real equality, unlike in Sweden where "equality" is just a PR campaign and nothing more.
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Martin565
post 30.Nov.2020, 03:58 PM
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 30.Nov.2020, 04:09 PM
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Joined: 21.Dec.2006

Waiting for the feminist solution to Sharia law...should be interesting...
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