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Anyone have a recipe for squirrel?

How to cook and garnish squirrel meat

Jamtjim
post 14.Sep.2009, 12:05 PM
Post #16
Joined: 11.Sep.2006

Squrrel Dinner Report:

Eventually my squirrel did stop having spasms, but only after I got it home and skinned it. It was then that I discovered that there is not much meat on a swedish squirrel and realised that just one squirrel would not be enough for my romantic dinner plans. It was apparent that I needed to source another and quick!

I remembered that squirrels usually come in pair and that as I knew where this squirrel came from, the chanses were that its mate would also be found in the vicinity. In this case, the squirrel that I had on my kitchen table was male (I could tell this by the presence of danglies as illustrated in the picture from Mzungu which incidently made a very nice addition to my Squirrel heart and liver kebabs) so I set off to look for Mrs Squirrel.

It wasn't long before I saw her, hopping forlornly over the grass and up tree trunks as if searching for her lost love. Ideally i would have shot her there and then but my rifle has been confiscated ever since a few months ago when I got hungry and shot the neighbours cat. She got really upset with but I pointed out that she was just lucky that it was the cat which first passed in front of my sights and not her toddler. The ungrateful cow wasn't thankfull at all and a few minutes later the police came and took my gun away.

Anyway how was I going to catch this little bilghter? Luckily, I still had the skin from the first squirrel in my pocket and devised a cunning plan. Taking a lead from Basil Brush, I placed my hand inside the skin and my fingers into where its arms used to be. I then hid under a bush with my puppet and made squirrel noises. Sure enough after an hour or so, curiosity got the better of our lady squirrel and she came over to investigate. Sensing my opportunity, I prepared to make my move. As soon as she got within range, I jumped up and caught the little critter in a plastic bucket.

Oh you should have heard the noise! There was screaching and banging as she did everything she could to escape but to no avail. After a while she grew tired and gave up. As I wanted to present my meal in as intact way as possible, I decided that the most humane way to dispatch my furry friend was by drowning, after all that worked just fine when my sons hamster had the flu. I therefore got my fishing rod and tied the squirrel to the line and cast her out into the lake for a bit. The persistant little bugger did her best, and even managed to swin to shore a couple of times only to be cast right back out again, but in the end she surcumbed to the inevitable.

Half an hour later and I had two skinned squirrels on my table and was ready to start my meal. I decided to spatchcock my catch which means removing all the entrails followed by opening up the chest cavity and flattening out. The wole thing was held in place with wooden squewers ready for grilling. I wanted to present the meat a-la hog roast but instead of having an apple in their mouths, I used a blackcurrent. Remembering that squirrel ate nuts, I covered the meat in a peanutty satay sauce and fried on a griddle pan for a few minutes on each side before serving with stir fried oriental vegatables.

My date arrived as planned and we ate our meal while her guide dog played merrily in the garden. Like any good chef, I decided to call my meal something classy and so described it euphamistically as "Flightless Partridge". She loved it, and I can tell you boys, Squirrel makes a great aphrodisiac!! ;-)
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Eric Cantona
post 14.Sep.2009, 12:22 PM
Post #17
Joined: 7.Oct.2007

Nice narrative Jamtjim.

Wondering though if you'd manage to land a nice beaver with such ease... they can also wriggle..
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Jamtjim
post 14.Sep.2009, 12:28 PM
Post #18
Joined: 11.Sep.2006

Eric, I tend to stear clear of beaver as, to be honest, they can be quite scary as well as being a bit dry unless you can get your hands on a young one.
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dahlin
post 14.Sep.2009, 01:17 PM
Post #19
Joined: 18.Jul.2009

Jamtjin - you should be published !
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Jamtjim
post 14.Sep.2009, 07:37 PM
Post #20
Joined: 11.Sep.2006

Thank you Dahlin. The Local is my publisher, the locallers are my long suffering readers... and the squirrel was my dinner... ;-)
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smokin joe
post 14.Sep.2009, 08:43 PM
Post #21
Joined: 11.Aug.2009

i'm almost vegan
so?

this thread sucks big time peeps
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Jamtjim
post 14.Sep.2009, 09:53 PM
Post #22
Joined: 11.Sep.2006

Thanks for your input Smokin Joe. As you are almost vegan, can you please answer a question for me? I have heard that a vegan diet negatively effects ones sense of humour. Do you know if this is indeed true?
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jose_s
post 14.Sep.2009, 10:13 PM
Post #23
Joined: 3.Jun.2007

this has to be one of the best threads i have read in quite some time. thanks for the laughs...
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smokin joe
post 15.Sep.2009, 08:39 AM
Post #24
Joined: 11.Aug.2009

QUOTE (Jamtjim @ 14.Sep.2009, 09:53 PM) *
Thanks for your input Smokin Joe. As you are almost vegan, can you please answer a question for me? I have heard that a vegan diet negatively effects ones sense of humour. ... (show full quote)

 
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Jamtjim
post 15.Sep.2009, 07:24 PM
Post #25
Joined: 11.Sep.2006

A funny thing happened to me tonight! I was driving home from work when I rounded a corner and saw a car that had left the road and crashed into a tree. As any responsible road user would do, I pulled over and went over to the crashed vehicle to see if I could be of any help.

When I approached the drivers seat I discovered that unfortunately, despite still breathing as well as pleading for me to get him out, the driver has obviously died in the accident.

Taking a leaf from my grandmothers book, I decided "waste not want not" and
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A Notice from The Local:

The remainder of this post has been removed by the moderators due to the authors extremely bad taste as well as the graphic nature of his description of scandinavia-based cannibalism. The operators of this website wish to make it clear that they have never participated in acts of human consumption and do not condone those who do. Cannibalism is a very naughty thing to do and should only be contemplated in the most dire of survival situations like when your aeroplane flies into a mountain or you are adrift at sea or something. It is not an activity you should participate in simply as a way to save a few kronor at Willys or if you get a bit bored of more conventional meats such as Beef, Pork or Panda. Jimtjim has been reported to the relevant authorities and can expect the men in white coats to knock at the door within the hour. A police sniper unit are already in position to prevent his escape and a forensics team are at this minute sorting through a large pile of animal bones found at the end of his garden.

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