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What happened if two women started a family?

EU and non-EU citizens having a child in Sweden

the_austrian
post 5.Jun.2017, 06:05 PM
Post #1
Joined: 3.Jan.2016

Hello everyone,

I have been active in visa-related topics here on The Local, but I hope you do allow me to look a couple of years into the future in the Family topic.

I am an EU citizen from Austria who works and lives in Stockholm together with my non-EU, South African, common law spouse who was granted residence for the first five years (residence card) based on our relationship and that we have lived together in South Africa for 2+ years under the same address.

As we are in our fifth year of being together, we continuously talk about having a baby together in the next 2 years. I would really like to visit an excellent South African clinic for a South African donor to "unite" both of our cultures, if you wish.

Once I do have the baby back in Sweden, do you know how it would work regarding my partner adopting the baby and registering as a parent if we are not married and my partner is in Sweden based on family ties?

I know I sound very uninformed in this regard and I hope you forgive me, but I am looking for someone to tell me they know about a similar case and how it works.

Thank you very much in advance and I appreciate your response.

Best wishes
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yet another brit
post 5.Jun.2017, 08:25 PM
Post #2
Joined: 5.Jan.2013

QUOTE (the_austrian @ 5.Jun.2017, 06:05 PM) *
Hello everyone,I have been active in visa-related topics here on The Local, but I hope you do allow me to look a couple of years into the future in the Family topic.I am an EU ... (show full quote)



You should talk to RFSL - who will be best placed to tell you.

My (limited) understanding is that if a - married or not - female couple have a child, then the non-biological mother [if I may put it so] has to apply to be acknowledged formally as the adoptive parent, rather in the same way that a man who is not married to the mother of his child has to. Discriminatory, I'm sure, but there you go and nevertheless a step up from many other places that could spring to mind.

Good luck! I'd have quite enjoyed having two mothers!
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Bsmith
post 5.Jun.2017, 09:54 PM
Post #3
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

Another consideration...adoption. There are so many kids out there who would benefit from a loving mother, or two.
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the_austrian
post 6.Jun.2017, 06:53 AM
Post #4
Joined: 3.Jan.2016

Thank you very much for your responses! I understand the "recognition as adoptive parent" part, but I am not sure where this needs to be done.

Regarding adoption, that is indeed a wonderful idea and we are considering it, however, as any woman (whether in a same-sex relationship or not), I would like to experience pregnancy. As we are only age-wise and family-wise planning a family, I know that adoption will play a role in my life at some stage if I am lucky enough to get through all the tests with regards to adopting a child. I would not want any child, whether it being my biological child or an adopted child, to have a less than perfect home.
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Bsmith
post 6.Jun.2017, 10:52 AM
Post #5
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

I would like to experience incredible wealth but it most likely won't happen so I try to make the best of the situation at hand.
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the_austrian
post 6.Jun.2017, 11:16 AM
Post #6
Joined: 3.Jan.2016

Bsmith,

I asked for help and if anyone has gone through this and would be so kind as to share their experiences.

Please do leave "smart" comments aside.

Best wishes
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ChocOwl
post 6.Jun.2017, 04:44 PM
Post #7
Joined: 17.Jan.2011

QUOTE (Bsmith @ 5.Jun.2017, 10:54 PM) *
Another consideration...adoption. There are so many kids out there who would benefit from a loving mother, or two.

AFAIK it is much more difficult for same-sex couples to adopt, as many countries with "adoptable" children do not permit same-sex couples to adopt. So this is not a particularly viable option.
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ChocOwl
post 6.Jun.2017, 04:49 PM
Post #8
Joined: 17.Jan.2011

OP, you may not get many (any) replies from people with personal experience here, unfortunately. Have you looked for facebook groups? I'm pretty sure there would be some (though these would probably be in Swedish if they are for Swedish-based people). There are also organisations such as this: http://www.hbtqfamiljer.se/ (which is run by RFSL), and this blog/information site http://regnbågsfamilj.se/
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the_austrian
post 6.Jun.2017, 05:40 PM
Post #9
Joined: 3.Jan.2016

Hi ChocOwl,

Thank you very much for your response and the great links. I really appreciate it.

Best wishes
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Bsmith
post 6.Jun.2017, 06:04 PM
Post #10
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

QUOTE (the_austrian @ 6.Jun.2017, 10:16 AM) *
Bsmith,. I asked for help and if anyone has gone through this and would be so kind as to share their experiences.. Please do leave "smart" comments aside.. Best wishes


Not being "smart". What is more important, the experience of pregnancy or the actual act of raising, nurturing and guiding a child to adulthood? Especially some child who could be rescued from an otherwise terrible life. That is why I suggested adoption. Think of the kid and not yourself.
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the_austrian
post 6.Jun.2017, 06:44 PM
Post #11
Joined: 3.Jan.2016

I hope, Bsmith, that you have adopted, as well as you suggest this to every single person out there.

Just because I am in a same-sex relationship it does not mean that I do not have motherly feelings and wish to carry a child - and thank God of great fertility clinics who do provide this option, not only for same-sex couples, but also for heterosexual couples.

If I wish to adopt right now, I would have opened a thread about adoption, however, my question was with regards to what if I carried a child myself.

Bsmith, I praise you if you have adopted, however, please do not pose your views onto me; this thread is not asking for it.
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Newbie2017
post 13.Jun.2017, 08:25 PM
Post #12
Joined: 13.Jun.2017

https://www.forsakringskassan.se/privatpers...n_barnet_fotts/

This website explains how the other parent can register, and all of the benefits are arranged through this site. It looks like it is easier if you are married, since you both are automatically recognized as the parents, but otherwise once your partner recognizes the child, she will also be eligible for parental benefits.

Good luck!
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the_austrian
post 14.Jun.2017, 02:04 PM
Post #13
Joined: 3.Jan.2016

Dear Newbie,

Thank you very much for your kind words and the link! smile.gif
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