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The Local _ Stockholm _ How to handle bully at pre-school

Posted by: Wright 10.Feb.2021, 04:49 PM


Posted by: Martin565 10.Feb.2021, 05:12 PM


Posted by: Wright 10.Feb.2021, 05:18 PM

Martin565, thanks for your reply.
No I cannot change school, but this is the last session there and am glad.
I am still very angry...no punishment for nasty one?

Posted by: Martin565 10.Feb.2021, 05:29 PM


Posted by: Alinlulea 10.Feb.2021, 05:43 PM


Posted by: Wright 10.Feb.2021, 05:53 PM

Thanks for your advices Alinlulea and again Martin565.

Posted by: Grommet 10.Feb.2021, 07:24 PM

The school can very likely (and quite unfortunately) not do anything about that kid. They probably don't even want to, being Swedish, and therefore obsessed with "equality" and terrified of confrontation. But even if they did, there is likely not much they can do about such a problem child.

Sad as it is, when my daughter was in the last years of pre-school in Sweden, I told her that if any kid was ever hitting/abusing her and would not stop, and no one was helping her, she had my permission to protect herself as she deemed necessary, to stop it. I told her to punch the nose as hard as she can, twice. I also made that point clear to her "carers" or "child technicians" or whatever robotic term they have for it nowadays there.

In what you describe though, it seems like the "technician" is an idiot. I don't think those in my daughters pre-school would have stood by and done nothing while one kid was beating on another.

I would definitely consult a lawyer to come to understand what your rights are in such a situation. It wouldn't surprise me that you would find out the school is being negligent and not properly carrying out their "duties". Yes, duties. Swedes seem only to fully understand their rights, but almost never their actual responsibilities. You find out what their responsibilities are, and very very clearly explain to some higher up in the school, that you know they are not fulfilling their obligations.

You can also stay with your kid in the environment. Video tape that kid attacking other kids. And make sure to capture the non-action from the teacher in any such video. Unfortunate, but Swedes are real assholes when it comes to fulfilling their actual obligations. If you want to stop this abuse, you are going to have to do something yourself.

If you think there are problems in pre-school in Sweden, just wait for the discipline problems you're going to encounter in actual school.

Posted by: john.boy 10.Feb.2021, 08:24 PM

If it is private, contact the senior management.
If it is public then contact your local Kommun that runs it.

Posted by: Wright 10.Feb.2021, 08:45 PM

Thanks Grommet and john.boy. I appreciate your replies. I also taught my kid like Grommet in situation as such, just punch him back. I am normally not this kind of an eye for an eye person, but some morons just gone too far.

I just spoke to a friend and he said I will on the other hand being treated as an abuser if I really take into action with the police or even the principal and the school will, on the other hand stands up to against me. He doubts also if the police will take the matter seriously and probably think I am a joke because I report a 5 years old boy and fighting between kids to them is normal (But that boy is, he suddenly attack people with sticks at their back on the heads, I saw many times. Why still let him play with sticks? ) And he said even address to the school principle it will not work because these idiots teachers and pre-school management just want things to be solved at the pre-school. It is a public school, so one principle takes care of several pre-school. He said he knows how they work. If I talk to the principle directly, the idiot teachers will not feel happy and will not be helpful.
I feel very helpless and lost now...

Posted by: Alinlulea 10.Feb.2021, 09:18 PM

QUOTE (Wright @ 10.Feb.2021, 08:45 PM) *
Thanks Grommet and john.boy. I appreciate your replies. I also taught my kid like Grommet in situation as such, just punch him back. I am normally not this kind of an eye for an eye person, but some morons just gone too far.

I just spoke to a friend and he said I will on the other hand being treated as an abuser if I really take into action with the police or even the principal and the school will, on the other hand stands up to against me. He doubts also if the police will take the matter seriously and probably think I am a joke because I report a 5 years old boy and fighting between kids to them is normal (But that boy is, he suddenly attack people with sticks at their back on the heads, I saw many times. Why still let him play with sticks? ) And he said even address to the school principle it will not work because these idiots teachers and pre-school management just want things to be solved at the pre-school. It is a public school, so one principle takes care of several pre-school. He said he knows how they work. If I talk to the principle directly, the idiot teachers will not feel happy and will not be helpful.
I feel very helpless and lost now...

Lots of speculating there, speak to Rektor then you won't be speculating on how you think they'll deal with it.

Posted by: TheExpatEagle 10.Feb.2021, 09:52 PM

Why can't you change schools?

Posted by: Wright 10.Feb.2021, 10:01 PM

Too long queue to swap to another one...TheExpatEagle...

Oops! silly me, many typos in previous posts using tablet to type...I mean report to school principal in the posts before, not principles.

Posted by: Wright 10.Feb.2021, 10:04 PM

Not allow to take photos and tape videos at pre-schools, because of the what stupid law of children protection...so no evidence can be recorded...


QUOTE (Grommet @ 10.Feb.2021, 07:24 PM) *
The school can very likely (and quite unfortunately) not do anything about that kid. They probably don't even want to, being Swedish, and therefore obsessed with "equality" and terrified of confrontation. But even if they did, there is likely not much they can do about such a problem child.

Sad as it is, when my daughter was in the last years of pre-school in Sweden, I told her that if any kid was ever hitting/abusing her and would not stop, and no one was helping her, she had my permission to protect herself as she deemed necessary, to stop it. I told her to punch the nose as hard as she can, twice. I also made that point clear to her "carers" or "child technicians" or whatever robotic term they have for it nowadays there.

In what you describe though, it seems like the "technician" is an idiot. I don't think those in my daughters pre-school would have stood by and done nothing while one kid was beating on another.

I would definitely consult a lawyer to come to understand what your rights are in such a situation. It wouldn't surprise me that you would find out the school is being negligent and not properly carrying out their "duties". Yes, duties. Swedes seem only to fully understand their rights, but almost never their actual responsibilities. You find out what their responsibilities are, and very very clearly explain to some higher up in the school, that you know they are not fulfilling their obligations.

You can also stay with your kid in the environment. Video tape that kid attacking other kids. And make sure to capture the non-action from the teacher in any such video. Unfortunate, but Swedes are real assholes when it comes to fulfilling their actual obligations. If you want to stop this abuse, you are going to have to do something yourself.

If you think there are problems in pre-school in Sweden, just wait for the discipline problems you're going to encounter in actual school.


Posted by: Martin565 10.Feb.2021, 10:12 PM


Posted by: TheExpatEagle 10.Feb.2021, 11:30 PM

QUOTE (Wright @ 10.Feb.2021, 10:01 PM) *
Too long queue to swap to another one...TheExpatEagle...


Ok.

Posted by: TheExpatEagle 10.Feb.2021, 11:31 PM


Posted by: Martin565 10.Feb.2021, 11:45 PM

QUOTE (TheExpatEagle @ 11.Feb.2021, 12:31 AM) *
Who was talking to you fuckwit? You know fuck all because you can change pre-school. Getting a place, that is a different thing.

So, back in your box you lying racist moron.


Any evidence for me being racist please show it,
Or are you just going to scream racist nazi like all the other woke lefty incel snowflake socialist wankers that you really are, yeah I remember you union boy.

Posted by: Gamla Hälsingebock 10.Feb.2021, 11:45 PM

The thing is, we all know the way to stop a bully is giving a dose of what your getting from the bully, only adding a bit more...

Taking abuse, only allows for more to be given!!!

Posted by: Grommet 11.Feb.2021, 05:08 AM

QUOTE (Wright @ 10.Feb.2021, 11:04 PM) *
Not allow to take photos and tape videos at pre-schools, because of the what stupid law of children protection...so no evidence can be recorded...

Yes, but as I remember, at these open meets, where little ones can be taken to the "community centre" and play with others, looking around the room, all Swedes were glued to their phones.

You can, and as I understand it, have the right, to sit in at your child's daycare. You sit there, pretend to play on your phone, and you video record without anyone even batting an eye.

As far a looking like a trouble maker, yes, in super equality Sweden, trying to get things done properly will cause friction with the locals, because they are not used to be held to account. But it doesn't make you a bad person to try to have things done right for your child. Sure, kids fight, but what you seem to describe is not simple playground "can't get along sometimes". Seems more serious than that.

And if it is, you should really show you're not going to back down. I wouldn't. It isn't acceptable (at least what you describe) and the situation should be corrected.

Don't give two shits what a Swede will think of you. They seriously have no grounds to judge anything. They are likely screwing you over already in ways you aren't even yet aware of, so I wouldn't worry about being judged. That ship sailed long ago if they knew/know you are a foreigner.

Posted by: Wright 11.Feb.2021, 10:41 AM


Posted by: TheExpatEagle 11.Feb.2021, 11:43 AM

QUOTE (Grommet @ 11.Feb.2021, 05:08 AM) *
Yes, but as I remember, at these open meets, where little ones can be taken to the "community centre" and play with others, looking around the room, all Swedes were glued to their phones.

You can, and as I understand it, have the right, to sit in at your child's daycare. You sit there, pretend to play on your phone, and you video record without anyone even batting an eye.

As far a looking like a trouble maker, yes, in super equality Sweden, trying to get things done properly will cause friction with the locals, because they are not used to be held to account. But it doesn't make you a bad person to try to have things done right for your child. Sure, kids fight, but what you seem to describe is not simple playground "can't get along sometimes". Seems more serious than that.

And if it is, you should really show you're not going to back down. I wouldn't. It isn't acceptable (at least what you describe) and the situation should be corrected.

Don't give two shits what a Swede will think of you. They seriously have no grounds to judge anything. They are likely screwing you over already in ways you aren't even yet aware of, so I wouldn't worry about being judged. That ship sailed long ago if they knew/know you are a foreigner.


Grommet has plenty of experience of playing with children and pretending to play with his phone but in reality is filming them.

Anyone taking that advice is asking for trouble and as people actually want to make a good life for themselves over here getting into trouble for filming kids when they shouldn't isn't the way to do that!

Posted by: Grommet 11.Feb.2021, 06:10 PM


Posted by: Martin565 12.Feb.2021, 11:22 AM

QUOTE (TheExpatEagle @ 11.Feb.2021, 11:43 AM) *
Grommet has plenty of experience of playing with children and pretending to play with his phone but in reality is filming them.

Anyone taking that advice is asking for trouble and as people actually want to make a good life for themselves over here getting into trouble for filming kids when they shouldn't isn't the way to do that!


You can talk, you go around calling little children bastards
You vile man

Posted by: TheExpatEagle 12.Feb.2021, 11:40 AM

QUOTE (Martin565 @ 12.Feb.2021, 11:22 AM) *
You can talk, you go around calling little children bastards
You vile man


I don't do that you vile racist.

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