The Local is not responsible for content posted by users.
30 Pages V  « < 7 8 9 10 11 > »    Reply to this topic

help me to like Sweden

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

007
post 28.Apr.2016, 10:37 PM
Post #121
Location: Stockholm
Joined: 2.Apr.2006

QUOTE (Mzungu @ 28.Apr.2016, 06:17 PM) *
Same old crap... *different posters*

same ole wise mzungu. all good your way?
Go to the top of the page
+
007
post 28.Apr.2016, 10:46 PM
Post #122
Location: Stockholm
Joined: 2.Apr.2006

QUOTE (Lazarzero @ 28.Apr.2016, 04:13 PM) *
if I walk into a restaurant and I don't like the food, I leave and go to a different restaurant. That's common sense. I don't sit down and eat food I don't lik ... (show full quote)


if you walk into a country and you don't like the people, their customs or what they have on offer, you go to a different country. you don't bitch about it ad nauseum on a discussion forum. that is not common sense.

QUOTE (Lazarzero @ 28.Apr.2016, 04:13 PM) *
And take yer little 007 butt buddy with you fuckers.
my my. not very nice. you could just ignore me like you offer as advice.

QUOTE (Lazarzero @ 28.Apr.2016, 04:13 PM) *
I am entitled to exercise my freedom of speech and trash this place to high hell on the internet. You don't like me exercising my freedom of speech? You don't like me trashing Sweden?

as the above are entitled to their input you just tried to shut down. you're full of contradictions. one might call you a hypocrite wink.gif
Go to the top of the page
+
Lazarzero
post 28.Apr.2016, 10:59 PM
Post #123
Joined: 22.Jun.2015

QUOTE (7 @ 28.Apr.2016, 10:46 PM) *
if you walk into a country and you don't like the people, their customs or what they have on offer, you go to a different country. you don't bitch about it ad nauseum ... (show full quote)

So it's wrong for people to discuss life in Sweden on a discussion board entitled "Discuss>Life in Sweden"?
Go to the top of the page
+
Gamla Hälsingebock
post 28.Apr.2016, 11:11 PM
Post #124
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

No!!!

It's wrong if you differ from the "Swede Bashers"!!!
Go to the top of the page
+
007
post 28.Apr.2016, 11:17 PM
Post #125
Location: Stockholm
Joined: 2.Apr.2006

QUOTE (Lazarzero @ 28.Apr.2016, 10:59 PM) *
So it's wrong for people to discuss life in Sweden on a discussion board entitled "Discuss>Life in Sweden"?

did i say that? you are the only one trying to control what people say.

i just tried to move lamy's thread along. the OP was a request to help like sweden. lamy drew a conclusion that it wasn't possible and would eventually leave (when it was right for them). i offered advice to help lamy make the best of enjoying life while here now that a decision had been made. seemed the thread had run its course.
Go to the top of the page
+
Cheeseroller
post 28.Apr.2016, 11:27 PM
Post #126
Location: Germany
Joined: 10.Apr.2007

QUOTE (Lamy @ 28.Apr.2016, 10:33 PM) *
Thanks for your comment @Cheeseroll.It does feel weird to imagine retiring here (or anywhere else that isn't homeland). I am an arts person and I can not wait for my cultu ... (show full quote)


Well for the first 8 years I was in a relationship with a Swede and had made the effort to immigrate. I was very busy building my business and that was a substitute for an active social life (she only had one friend, who used to bore me to tears). I think everyone goes through the rose tinted spectacles phase when everything is new (just like any other relationship), and then they go through the negative phase when the compare the new country to their home country. After a year or two, you realise that to be happy, you have to focus on the positive - so that's what I did for some years and again kept myself busy.

After the relationship ended, I took a weekend trip to Germany to see an old friend. Flying back to Sweden after a weekend of fun, laughs, meeting new people and just the easiness of it all, that I realised what I had been missing for year.

A year later I was married to a woman I met in another country, and she moved to Sweden - really because my business was there. She went through the same phases that I did, and I ended up trying to encourage her to like the country and learn the language - which she did. But the country she came from has a culture not unlike the UK. The social aspect is really a central part of their life, and although she found other ex-pat friends, she never felt like Sweden was home.

Both of us hated the long dark winters, and after a serious car accident I was very nervous driving on ice. So often the summers were a big disappointment after suffering months of cold and dark, we felt cheated. Fortunately we were able to visit her home country for months on end in the summers, but we would have weekly conversations discussing which country we would move to.

One of the other issues for me was that outside of Stockholm, where can you visit? There is only so many times that you want to visit Goteborg, Helsinki, Tallin or Riga. Most of the other Swedish towns have the same 1960's high street, the same shops. Living in Stockholm is like living on a island in the cold north sea - very isolating. Flying is your only other option - if you can afford it.

A year after she received her passport we moved. We both now feel at home and will probably retire here - although in our dreams we'd also like a small apartment somewhere warm where we could get away from the winter.

There are lots of positive things that I could say about Sweden - especially as a business owner, it is much easier to manage the administration than in Germany! But it just wasn't the right fit for us. For many others who are looking for a quieter life, love nature etc it can be perfect, if they can find work.

I do think that Sweden is very seductive. When you visit as a tourist you see how modern the buildings are, how clean it is, no chavs and when you visit a pub and order a beer, invariably people talk to you in English. The reality is a lot different, and that is why there are so many posts from frustrated people - something that you don't see on other Local country sites.

Here there are also the old-timers. Some are genuinely happy with their lot, others I suspect were trapped by children or circumstance and simply try to justify their position. The fact that they are here, day in day out for years, usually offering no useful advice to newbies but hatcheting anyone who is frustrated and trying to integrate, tells you how satisfying and fulfilled their lives are. I am grateful that because of my work, we had the freedom to leave.
Go to the top of the page
+
Gamla Hälsingebock
post 28.Apr.2016, 11:54 PM
Post #127
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

And then there are those that have the ability to explain their situation and feelings about Sweden in ways that do not blame Swedish citizens for being what they are.

No place is perfect when you leave your natural home, you have to realize that a country is made by natives and is for natives...And they do not create countries to make life miserable for those that are newcomers...

Happiness is elusive...otherwise why would you leave home and go elsewhere, in the first place???
Go to the top of the page
+
Cheeseroller
post 29.Apr.2016, 12:15 AM
Post #128
Location: Germany
Joined: 10.Apr.2007

People move for a myriad of reasons. Love, career, environment, house prices, reduced stress, safety and environment for children. If you read the UK press, many of the articles about Sweden are glowing. Although the Daily Smell does seem to have a lot of negative articles the past year.

Even the Finns, Danish and Norwegians consider Sweden to be "special". Compared to other countries in Europe, it is much more difficult to integrate and it seems to me, fewer and reduced opportunities for work. How many foreigners have created successful medium size businesses?

But as you say, they are who they are and either you accept the personality and lifestyle of the country or you move. I do understand the frustration of newbies - I suspect that they thought it would be easier. Immigrants who move to Germany or France, where English is much less widely spoken, have different expectations and understand what is required to get work.
Go to the top of the page
+
Gamla Hälsingebock
post 29.Apr.2016, 01:07 AM
Post #129
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

I have a large family in Sweden, at one time I had 7 uncles and 16 living cousins!!!

We can trace our family to the late 1700's and possibly further, my credentials for being Swedish are probably among the best on this forum...

There was a time when I wanted to buy the house my Grandfather built in Norrland, by hauling home lumber from the sawmill where he worked...and live there...

A bit of reality set in when I was thinking of those warm, sunny, late February afternoons that Norrland is famous for and imagined my Grandparents ghosts saying...he's a nice boy, but he really isn't one of us...Too bad he wasn't born here...

And that is my reality...it is not easy to fit in and I accept it...I have a hard time understanding those that cannot do the same.

I don't blame the Swedes...Why do other people???

But I venture to say this happens everywhere, not only in Sweden...

Finding a new place to call home is indeed challenging!!!
Go to the top of the page
+
Meridia
post 29.Apr.2016, 04:56 AM
Post #130
Joined: 22.Mar.2014

QUOTE (HiSweden @ 27.Apr.2016, 12:33 PM) *
I am living here for 3 years and my neighbors never said hello, although I said hi to them many times. I never had parties or anything which might annoyed them. Now I almost n ... (show full quote)



I find this funny.

In my last trip to Kramfors, partner's neighbors were always saying hello while we were out.

Of course, I understood very little of it, not speaking Swedish, but they spoke. Everyone from the old grandma to young mother with a pram.

That said, I'm 35, have very few real friends, and it suits me just fine.
Go to the top of the page
+
Lazarzero
post 29.Apr.2016, 08:30 AM
Post #131
Joined: 22.Jun.2015

QUOTE (7 @ 28.Apr.2016, 11:17 PM) *
did i say that? you are the only one trying to control what people say. i just tried to move lamy's thread along. the OP was a request to help like sweden. lamy drew a co ... (show full quote)

And other people didn't think the thread had run its course. So we kept replying. Since you think the thread has run its course, there's no reason for you to be here. Bye bye.
Go to the top of the page
+
kiwiboynz
post 29.Apr.2016, 08:50 AM
Post #132
Location: Gothenburg
Joined: 8.Oct.2014

I don´t come on here often as it´s a pretty shit site, just more for the LOL´s, but Lazarzero, you are my favourite poster.
Go to the top of the page
+
Lazarzero
post 29.Apr.2016, 08:56 AM
Post #133
Joined: 22.Jun.2015

QUOTE (Cheeseroller @ 28.Apr.2016, 11:27 PM) *
Well for the first 8 years I was in a relationship with a Swede and had made the effort to immigrate. I was very busy building my business and that was a substitute for an act ... (show full quote)

Man, this fella hit so many nails on the head when he talks about life in Sweden. When he talks about using work as a replacement for an active social life, he's telling the truth. Sooner or later, you get tired of making the effort to be friends with Swedes and focus on work. Even when you live in Stockholm, the city is so underwhelming you think "meh" and don't wanna spend time another boring night walking around such a dead city.

Then there's the part about him talking about his wife having only one friend. It's like Apache said, "They tell you they have enough friends and don't need anymore. But then you find out they have 1 friend that they see infrequently." It's normal for a Swede to have only 2 friends in his entire lifetime and both of those are friends she knew since grade school.

And yes, everyone goes from the rose-tinted phase to the negative phase to the "I can't focus on the negative. I should focus on the positive and try to integrate" phase in every country. The problem with Sweden is you eventually realize integrating isn't going to be any better for your social skills or self-esteem. So you're in a lose/lose situation: you integrate and feel isolated or you don't integrate and feel isolated.

There is also the part where you take a long trip to another country and think, "God, the people here are totally different. I can feel it. They act normal. I feel part of the active world. I don't feel so isolated. Dammit, I missed this shit. I missed feeling this way." A trip to Germany or any other place will do that to you. Then you come back to Sweden and realize you're missing out on life. That's when you realize you're wasting your life here.

For me, the long winters could be relieved if I could be around sociable and active people. I could probably deal with St. Petersburg or one of those arctic towns in Russia if I could be around friendly and sociable people. The winters seem worse because the people here are so distant and unfriendly.

I'm sure Cheeseroller speaks from the perspective of a dude who has left and now is enjoying some place else and doesn't need the bitterness. I'm sure I'll be much more even-tempered and understanding like him when I'm gone too (can't wait!). But for now I'm just pissed because I want to move and work circumstances and apartment circumstances don't make that feasible until summer is here.
Go to the top of the page
+
Lazarzero
post 29.Apr.2016, 08:58 AM
Post #134
Joined: 22.Jun.2015

QUOTE (kiwiboynz @ 29.Apr.2016, 08:50 AM) *
I don´t come on here often as it´s a pretty shit site, just more for the LOL´s, but Lazarzero, you are my favourite poster.

We need more posters like you too, man. We definitely do. cool.gif
Go to the top of the page
+
Stpauli
post 29.Apr.2016, 10:12 AM
Post #135
Joined: 20.Nov.2015

You need to go out more and get some friends and maybe a hobby. What have you tried? Maybe I can help.
Go to the top of the page
+

30 Pages V  « < 7 8 9 10 11 > » 
Reply to this topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members: