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The Local _ Family _ Child in school, the only non-swedish, not include

Posted by: ToSheila 30.Oct.2017, 11:00 PM

Hej,

Our child started with Swedish elementary school in September.

Unfortunately, language barrier (hopefully it is only that!), is giving us (the parents) and him lots of headache. He is not included in the games,in the class, teachers do not know what to do, he sits in the classroom by himself.

Completely opposite of what it should be. He is the only non-Swed in the classroom.

Does anyone know what are our rights, if any, to resolve this situation, and not de-list him from this school and go to international only.

We went for Swedish only school thinking that it will be best and fastest possible way to integrate him into the system -- what is happening now is complete segregation, on several levels.

Thanks!

Posted by: Bsmith 30.Oct.2017, 11:12 PM

My wife and her brother moved to Sweden when she was 8 and he was 10. They knew no Swedish. All they could do was grunt and make gestures to the other kids. They learned Swedish very quickly.

We moved to Sweden when our daughters were roughly the same age. They also learned Swedish very quickly because they wanted to fit in. Great motivation.

It may be difficult for him initially, but I would recommend that you stay the course. Things can turn around rapidly once he gets it into his mind that he wants to learn Swedish.

Posted by: Svedallas 30.Oct.2017, 11:19 PM

QUOTE (ToSheila @ 30.Oct.2017, 11:00 PM) *
Hej,

Our child started with Swedish elementary school in September.

Unfortunately, language barrier (hopefully it is only that!), is giving us (the parents) and him lots of headache. He is not included in the games,in the class, teachers do not know what to do, he sits in the classroom by himself.

Completely opposite of what it should be. He is the only non-Swed in the classroom.

Does anyone know what are our rights, if any, to resolve this situation, and not de-list him from this school and go to international only.

We went for Swedish only school thinking that it will be best and fastest possible way to integrate him into the system -- what is happening now is complete segregation, on several levels.

Thanks!


If you want your child to integrate into Swedish society, they must be in a Swedish school, and Swedish language school.

Posted by: ToSheila 30.Oct.2017, 11:21 PM

Thank you, Bsmith, for these words. Deep down we know that this period will pass, and that they would be accepted, fully, in the classroom.

My thinking was what can be done, from School side, to additionally help him, he is 10 years old. If there are mechanism we want to know about it and ask the School.

TIA!

Posted by: Gamla Hälsingebock 30.Oct.2017, 11:27 PM

Motivate your child to learn Swedish...You seem to be looking for ways to make exceptions and want to change how things are to suit you...

That can only be detrimental to your child and his/your life in Sweden...

Sweden won't change for you!!!

Posted by: ToSheila 30.Oct.2017, 11:36 PM

Gamla Hälsingebock, thank you -- maybe you are right; maybe we, as parents, are too subjective in this matter and overprotective to our child.

But this "subjectivness" does not exclude us from possible mechanism within Swedish School System which can help him in this, fragile years for his social skills.

Posted by: Gamla Hälsingebock 30.Oct.2017, 11:45 PM

He is young and will adapt, encourage him, children can turn around and be totally different...Just don't give him the idea that everyone will change to suit him...

And by the way if he is the only non Swedish child in a Swedish country and a Swedish school...What did you expect???

Posted by: ToSheila 30.Oct.2017, 11:59 PM

Of course that we will not give him idea that we can re-configure as per his need environment where he goes to school, but if we can fine tune it, with some mechanism from School System, please do share that knowledge.

"What we expected???"

We expected, as probably all people in similar situation, that teachers and parents would do that little effort to help new-kid-in-class in his new environment, in *same* way we did when newcomer arrived in our old school.

Not calling only him on birthday parties is little bit more detrimental to the child than trying to help him in beginning. Don't you think???

Simple as that.

Posted by: Cheeseroller 31.Oct.2017, 01:02 AM

Our son moved to Sweden when he was 7 years old. He was put into a pre-school class so he could learn Swedish - other SE kids were 6 yo. 8 years later he is obviously fluent and in gymnasium studying for a technical career.

3 years ago, we moved to Germany. It was a disaster for him. He simply could not handle learning another new language, and the school was totally unsympathetic to his needs. He moved back to Sweden just 16 yo and lived by himself. He refinished SE school and is now in a gymnasium scoring top of the class marks.

What I learned from this experience, is not to move kids older than 7 or 8 to a new country. It's too difficult to learn not only a new language but a new culture. I also learned that the brainwashing in Swedish schools is so powerful that even if you are immigrant parents, you are unable to influence the way your kids think.

Posted by: Bsmith 31.Oct.2017, 11:43 AM

I am not sure that age 7 is a hard and fast number. As I posted before, both my wife and youngest daughter were age 8 and they caught on fast. My brother-in-law and my oldest daughter were age 10 and it was a bit more difficult but they did manage. My oldest daughter actually became quite popular for helping her classmates with English. All concerned learned to love living in Sweden.

As parents, we hate to see our kids struggle, but these struggles often strengthen our children's character in ways we cannot imagine. Be as supportive and encouraging as you can and, hopefully, in a few months time this will be a non issue.

Posted by: Svedallas 31.Oct.2017, 11:48 AM

QUOTE (ToSheila @ 30.Oct.2017, 11:59 PM) *
Of course that we will not give him idea that we can re-configure as per his need environment where he goes to school, but if we can fine tune it, with some mechanism from School System, please do share that knowledge.

"What we expected???"

We expected, as probably all people in similar situation, that teachers and parents would do that little effort to help new-kid-in-class in his new environment, in *same* way we did when newcomer arrived in our old school.

Not calling only him on birthday parties is little bit more detrimental to the child than trying to help him in beginning. Don't you think???

Simple as that.


Keeping your child in an English school, will hinder how to understand Swedish, especially when you need it. It will isolate them.

Children learn language much faster than adults. It is tough love for them, but it is for the better. What you should do is enroll you child in a class where the teacher is patient.

Posted by: artisan_se 31.Oct.2017, 03:04 PM

my son is here for almost 2 y. and still doesn't have one friend. He sits alone with mobile at brakes and calls internet his friend. The school is all swedish. he tried to make friends but told me that kids are spoiled have no manners and are vulgar

Posted by: Tenacious185 31.Oct.2017, 04:13 PM

Pardon my ignorance on this topic - but do Swedish schools really just accept kids who speak NO Swedish into their classrooms and let them struggle with no support? How can they be expected to learn or understand any of the lessons? Obviously all children need to be in school, and if they come from a foreign country and move to Sweden then of course, that dilemma will be there - but are there not tutors provided by the school to teach Swedish to the newcomers? Or do they receieve any extra instruction outside regular classroom hours? Again, I'm sorry that I have to ask all this...but I've never heard of a school just accepting a kid that can't understand a word, and having no plan in place to help them adjust.

Posted by: flaneur 31.Oct.2017, 04:33 PM

QUOTE (Tenacious185 @ 31.Oct.2017, 04:13 PM) *
Pardon my ignorance on this topic - but do Swedish schools really just accept kids who speak NO Swedish into their classrooms and let them struggle with no support? How can they be expected to learn or understand any of the lessons? Obviously all children need to be in school, and if they come from a foreign country and move to Sweden then of course, that dilemma will be there - but are there not tutors provided by the school to teach Swedish to the newcomers? Or do they receieve any extra instruction outside regular classroom hours? Again, I'm sorry that I have to ask all this...but I've never heard of a school just accepting a kid that can't understand a word, and having no plan in place to help them adjust.


I love Sweden!

Damn, now when you put it like that, trying to pull off the rational point of view, I can't help but think how cool this country is.
I love the "nobody cares" way of dealing with life here. No sarcasm, I'm serious.

This country is so damn cool!
You either find your way or go back where you came from. Literally - nobody cares. wub.gif

Back on topic - good luck with your kid!

Posted by: Tenacious185 31.Oct.2017, 04:44 PM

QUOTE (flaneur @ 31.Oct.2017, 04:33 PM) *
I love Sweden!

Damn, now when you put it like that, trying to pull off the rational point of view, I can't help but think how cool this country is.
I love the "nobody cares" way of dealing with life here. No sarcasm, I'm serious.

This country is so damn cool!
You either find your way or go back where you came from. Literally - nobody cares. wub.gif

Back on topic - good luck with your kid!


That’s certainly true enough. I’ve definitely grown a thicker skin since moving here. I haven’t progressed as far as I had hoped with the language, or the fitting in, but then it occurred to me...it’s not that important to me. I enjoy solitude and limited interaction with others. I guess to a kid, that might be tougher, though.

Posted by: Svedallas 31.Oct.2017, 04:52 PM

QUOTE (Tenacious185 @ 31.Oct.2017, 04:13 PM) *
Pardon my ignorance on this topic - but do Swedish schools really just accept kids who speak NO Swedish into their classrooms and let them struggle with no support? How can they be expected to learn or understand any of the lessons? Obviously all children need to be in school, and if they come from a foreign country and move to Sweden then of course, that dilemma will be there - but are there not tutors provided by the school to teach Swedish to the newcomers? Or do they receieve any extra instruction outside regular classroom hours? Again, I'm sorry that I have to ask all this...but I've never heard of a school just accepting a kid that can't understand a word, and having no plan in place to help them adjust.


Yes, the do. And it is very common. It is tough love.
Kids complain and struggle, but that is how it is.

Think about all the refugee kids who don't even speak a word of English. They learn, adapt, and they learn. But they do learn incredibly fast!

Posted by: Tenacious185 31.Oct.2017, 05:03 PM

QUOTE (Svedallas @ 31.Oct.2017, 04:52 PM) *
Yes, the do. And it is very common. It is tough love.
Kids complain and struggle, but that is how it is.

Think about all the refugee kids who don't even speak a word of English. They learn, adapt, and they learn. But they do learn incredibly fast!


Ah, ok. Thanks for the explanation. I’ve never had to place a child in a foreign school system, so I really had no idea. I guess kids are pretty resilient. It’s us bitchy set-in-our-ways adults who are less inclined to adapt. wink.gif

Posted by: IndianInStockholm 31.Oct.2017, 05:41 PM

QUOTE (ToSheila @ 30.Oct.2017, 10:00 PM) *
Hej,

Our child started with Swedish elementary school in September.

Unfortunately, language barrier (hopefully it is only that!), is giving us (the parents) and him lots of headache. He is not included in the games,in the class, teachers do not know what to do, he sits in the classroom by himself.

Completely opposite of what it should be. He is the only non-Swed in the classroom.

Does anyone know what are our rights, if any, to resolve this situation, and not de-list him from this school and go to international only.

We went for Swedish only school thinking that it will be best and fastest possible way to integrate him into the system -- what is happening now is complete segregation, on several levels.

Thanks!


You can get him to have extra Swedish classes, either through school or privately. Speak with the principal. Try inviting some of the other kids and their parents home, maybe initiative from you might break some ice and give you more ideas.

Another option is going to a bilingual school, part english-part swedish but i dare say that he will probably move to his comfort zone there and stick with English. So like the others have said, perhaps you need to stick it out a little longer.

Posted by: Gamla Hälsingebock 31.Oct.2017, 07:19 PM

It adds up to the fact that when you leave home, life is a lot harder for you...anywhere...and some feel/believe that Sweden is different and is the utopia they seek, but it isn't...

Like "the grass is greener", kind of thing...

P/S: Stockholm is sounding more like New York, than I would like to admit...

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