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Slow Sunday Joke Off!

Spread a smile or two!

Bsmith
post 4.Mar.2017, 12:41 PM
Post #181
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

What does a Swede do at a disco?
He puts his left foot out and says, "I tink disco here," then puts the other foot out and says, "I tink disco there."
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andersbeydemir
post 4.Mar.2017, 06:42 PM
Post #182
Location: Europe
Joined: 4.Mar.2017

QUOTE (Bsmith @ 4.Mar.2017, 01:41 PM) *
What does a Swede do at a disco? . He puts his left foot out and says, "I tink disco here," then puts the other foot out and says, "I tink disco there."


LOOOOOOL
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 5.Mar.2017, 01:28 AM
Post #183
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

An old one...previously posted, but I think it is funny:

It was the Finns that invented the wheelbarrow...

They needed a tool to teach the Swedes how to walk upright...
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Bsmith
post 17.Mar.2017, 03:59 PM
Post #184
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

Archaeologists just dug up a book

called Irish Dancing Part Two: What To Do With Your Arms
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Bsmith
post 17.Mar.2017, 04:00 PM
Post #185
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

An Irishman walks out of a bar...well, it could happen !

Did you hear about the Irish orphanage that held a parents' night?

Did you hear about the Irish car pool? They all meet at work.

How can you spot the Irish Jew at the Wailing Wall? He's the one with the harpoon.

Have you heard about the Irish tug-of war team? They were disqualified for pushing.

What was the name of the bullet-proof Irishman? Rick O'Shea.

Have you seen the Irish jigsaw puzzle? It's one piece.

Did you hear about the Irish hitchhiker? He leaves early to avoid the traffic.


Happy St. Paddy's Day!
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 17.Mar.2017, 04:40 PM
Post #186
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

What's the difference between The Swedes and the Irish after a very heavy night of drinking???

The Swedes go to work the next day!!!

Erin go bragh!!!
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 17.Mar.2017, 05:35 PM
Post #187
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

"How can you spot the Irish Jew at the Wailing Wall? He's the one with the harpoon."

Help, sorry, over my head???
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Bsmith
post 17.Mar.2017, 05:57 PM
Post #188
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

Whaling Wall, you know, Moby Dick.
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 17.Mar.2017, 06:46 PM
Post #189
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

Thank you for that...it's on a par with my duck hunters laugh.gif
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Bsmith
post 24.Mar.2017, 03:32 PM
Post #190
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

A Dung Beetle walks into a bar and asks, "Is this stool taken?"
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 24.Mar.2017, 04:29 PM
Post #191
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

A termite walks into a saloon and asks where is the bar tender1!!

Hiding now laugh.gif
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Bsmith
post 24.Mar.2017, 08:02 PM
Post #192
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

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Bsmith
post 12.Apr.2017, 09:14 PM
Post #193
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

First-grade class in Brooklyn comes in from recess. Teacher asks Sarah: "What did you do at recess?"

Sarah says, "I played in the sand box."

Teacher says, "That's good. Go to the blackboard, and if you can write 'sand' correctly, I'll give you a fresh-baked cookie."

She does and gets a cookie. Teacher asks Morris what he did at recess.

Morris says, "I played with Sarah in the sand box."

Teacher says, "Good. If you write 'box' correctly on the blackboard, I'll give you a fresh baked cookie."

Morris does, and gets a cookie. Teacher then asks Mustaffa Abdul Machmoud what he did at recess.

He says, "I tried to play with Sarah and Morris, but they threw rocks at me."

Teacher says, "Threw rocks at you? That sounds like blatant racial discrimination. If you can go the blackboard and write 'blatant racial discrimination' I'll give you a cookie."
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Bsmith
post 19.Apr.2017, 12:15 PM
Post #194
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees a big bad Wolf crouched down behind a log.
"My, what big eyes you have, Mr Wolf. " The wolf jumps up and runs away.
Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched behind a bush. "My, what big ears you have, Mr Wolf." Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.
About two miles down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock. "My, what big teeth you have, Mr Wolf."
With that the wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you leave me alone?! I'm trying to take a shit!
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Bsmith
post 25.May.2017, 12:45 PM
Post #195
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

The fourth-grade teacher asked the children what their fathers did for a living. All the typical answers came up - fireman, mechanic, businessman, salesman... and so forth..

However, little Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet, so when the teacher prodded him about his father, he replied. "My father's an exotic dancer in a gay cabaret and takes off all his clothes to music in front of other men and they put money in his underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, he will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."

The teacher, obviously shaken by this statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and took little Johnny aside to ask him, "Is that really true about your father?"

"No," the boy said, "He works for the Democratic National Committee and helped to get Obama elected, but it's too embarrassing to say that in front of the other kids."
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