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Alone in Sweden after breaking up with a girl

All my friends were hers, now I've nobody

Claimer
post 7.May.2009, 09:35 PM
Post #1
Joined: 7.May.2009

Hi guys..well ive been here now for about 5 years now and ive split with my girlfriend..thing is when i moved over i basically came into her world with her family and friends and now I've split I suddenly realise i have nothing as all the friends and family i had were hers..

Grass is greener...dont think so:(

Now im suddenly in a very lonely situation with hardly any friends and no family around in a foreign country..I was so in their circle i didnt have to worry about anything..now im wondering if i made the right choice !!!

I do like it here but man it can be lonely as hell here..dont wanna move back to england though as its pretty shitty right now..

I admit as well that i was lazy with the swedish and dont really speak it!!!.

Anyone else going through this..

Difficult times indeed...

btw I just joined this site so hello all and i hope i get a warm welcome:)
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glamshek
post 7.May.2009, 10:37 PM
Post #2
Joined: 3.Apr.2009

HI dear,
If she does not care about you, then what makes you care abt her. I can give you a tip. Be honest in anything you do, you shall be happy. Moreover, if you lose one, you can make another 100 so life is open!!
I am here without any freind just living the life of a foriegner in a strange situation but its Ok. I have hope and thats what one should not lose.
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Claimer
post 8.May.2009, 06:44 AM
Post #3
Joined: 7.May.2009

Sure, thx

Its a long story..i was with my ex for 5 years and it ended badly..i didnt mean for it to go that bad but anyway i met a girl on the rebound and started liking her but then she dumped me after 3 months...

so lonely now but just gotta get over everything and stand up for myself..

Anyway..ill be fine:)

i miss my ex but she wont have me back even though i know she loves me..
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Bee
post 8.May.2009, 06:56 AM
Post #4
Joined: 26.Mar.2007

Time to learn Swedish?? Do you have a job?
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70sdreamer
post 8.May.2009, 07:46 AM
Post #5
Location: Stockholm county
Joined: 3.Oct.2006

Sorry to hear you're feeling lonely, but I know it will get better! Through the years there have been other threads like yours (not to make light of your current problems), so you're definitely not the only one who's gone through this!

Where are you located? Some of the regional Local groups meet up reasonably frequently, so perhaps joining some of 'us' for a drink or a coffee would be the start of some great new friendships?

I have one more comment to make for your future... I'm far from a relationship expert, but it might be worth a thought to try to establish your own life - outside the relationship - and not just become involved in the life of your partner. A wise person once told me that it's not a matter of drinking wine from the same cup at the same time... It's more about drinking wine from separate cups, at the same time, and sharing the experience! Although you can't change the past, it might be something to think about for the future...

You mention it yourself; trying to learn the language might be something you should prioritise in the current situation? If nothing else, you could make friends while learning!

Good luck!
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Dick Swinger
post 8.May.2009, 08:03 AM
Post #6
Joined: 7.Sep.2006

How about pulling your socks up and tacking an evening/day class in swedish and getting a day/evening job. That way you learn the language, and have an oppertunity to practice it in the real world. Also you dont have time to sit around feeling sorry for yourself while creating the opertunity to meet people in a similar situation, people that you have a higher probablity to bond with. Most of my freinds made here i the first 4 years are not swedish, they come from nearly everywhere else. if you dont want to go back to police state Blighty then stop moaping around do something about it. who know you may even meet another lady, and who knows she could be that legendary swedish nymphomaniac we all hear about.
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Lienka
post 8.May.2009, 08:54 AM
Post #7
Joined: 28.Sep.2008

Are you in Stockholm?
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Markbase with an Invisibl...
post 8.May.2009, 08:55 AM
Post #8
Location: Malmö
Joined: 8.Jan.2006

Since this was posted under "Öresund", I'm guessing Skåne (Helsingborg? Malmö? Lund?).
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Bee
post 8.May.2009, 12:37 PM
Post #9
Joined: 26.Mar.2007

lived here for five years and not made the effort to learn Swedish..well it was gonna happen the "dumping". I say "send the bugger back!"
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Maxis
post 8.May.2009, 01:06 PM
Post #10
Location: Norrköping
Joined: 1.May.2006

Don’t expect to get back together with her and don’t expect your old friends to give a toss about you. Swedes like to cut people out of their lives like cancer when they no longer want to be associated with you.

Signup for SFI the wait can be long depending on your location. SFI is a great way to make new friends, it is full of people from all around the world, yes there are a lot of people who come from counties you may not be accustom to and many people will look down at, but they are all trying to do the same thing you are and that is learn Swedish. I have many friends in SFI, even if we don’t socialise outside of school much I know I am always in for a good conversation and good company around the people I go to school with at lunch and cafe breaks.

Don’t become a lonely alcoholic, but go out drinking, clubbing as much as possible (yes even alone, take a book and sit in a cafe or something). Also try and move, change apartment or even city if you can, unless a job is keeping you grounded in one location a new environment is a great way to make a change and put the past behind you removing the chance of refreshing memories and all that other crap getting in the way.

Don’t give up and go back to the UK. Just keep reminding yourself that you are in Sweden and is there really any other country you would want to be single in? I am from London and I would never leave Sweden, I love it here I have been here five years also, after my breakup and feeling sorry, she loves me, I want her back, I am all alone, I need her bullshit period (that you are only feeling because you are all alone sitting in your apartment at night thinking about it) you move on and there are millions of other women in Sweden as good as or better than that ex and loads of new friends to be made.

Six months after my breakup I had a whole new group of friends, I met a new girl who I am still together with even engaged so as long as you put all that lonely git shit behind you and move on you will be fine.

lycka till!
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amiga
post 8.May.2009, 01:15 PM
Post #11
Joined: 23.Nov.2007

Hej!

Sorry to hear your bad news! But everything is NOT going to the end! I have been here 1.5 years and have made some friends. You can try to be active and do not give your life up.

I live in Malmö. Welcome to drop me a line if you want! chingblue@msn.com

Cheer up and Good luck!

Brenda
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Markbase with an Invisibl...
post 8.May.2009, 01:18 PM
Post #12
Location: Malmö
Joined: 8.Jan.2006

I'm in Malmö too, but I also go up to Helsingborg a couple of times a week. Let us know on this thread if you want to hook up for a beer.
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Emmi
post 8.May.2009, 01:54 PM
Post #13
Joined: 17.Sep.2008

sorry to hear that, it's a tought situation that you are going through right now...but if you do like sweden and want to stay here, then maybe you should start speaking the language.

Do you go to the gym or something like that? I acutally made some of my friends in the gym and badhus.Sometimes, you can meet people that share the same interests as you in places like this. :-)
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VikingHumpingWitch
post 8.May.2009, 02:06 PM
Post #14
Location: Gothenburg
Joined: 21.Dec.2005

If all the mates you made so far have sloped off then they weren't real friends and not worth wasting your time on anyway.

Totally agree on the language thing, you know it's a bit of a poor show after 5 years and this is a great opportunity to get on with it. If you can't get into SFI any time soon, get a book and/or CD and try yourself. It'll give you something to do when you're climbing the walls and of course, if you can speak Swedish you give yourself the chance to meet people who are uncomfortable speaking English, or who aren't good enough at it to be themselves in the language.

Be careful if you go drinking with Mark Base though, I still have bruises two weeks later. (Dancing accident.)
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Markbase with an Invisibl...
post 8.May.2009, 02:09 PM
Post #15
Location: Malmö
Joined: 8.Jan.2006

QUOTE (VikingHumpingWitch @ 8.May.2009, 03:06 PM) *
Be careful if you go drinking with Mark Base though, I still have bruises two weeks later. (Dancing accident.)


Don't listen to this bit of advice. She's a terrible influence on my normally mild-mannered demeanour and conservative lifestyle.
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