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Need help regarding Shoplifting

Please save me from suicide

Guilty
post 1.Mar.2015, 12:39 PM
Post #1
Joined: 1.Mar.2015

Hi. I am 25 years old student in malmo. I was caught shoplifting 2 days back. It was my friend's birthday. And I was trying to get a earing for her. Which was 149kr. Then I turned and I saw really pretty ring. So I took them and get into the changing room then took the tag off from the earing and put it in my bag. As for the ring which was 350kr. I put it on my finger. And I passed the door and went downstairs. Bought the small gift box then try to exist the store. Then the security stoped me and asked me to follow him. I did, and he told me "you have not paid for somethings. I gave up the ring and earrings and plead guilty. They called the cops. They asked me whether I want attorney. I said no. And I admit everything since I was so afraid and was feeling really guilty. They took my name and address and all. Said they will send me the fine. This is my 1st time I am stealing. Felt soooooo guilty. Can't even sleep for 2 days. I am in shock. I swear I was not in mind and was insanely stupid. I am ready to pay for my crime but only thing I am afraid is whether this incident cause the termination of my student visa. I am an international student and my visa is until June 30th. And also another question is I am going to China in the end of this month and coming back to Europe on 15th of April. I am afraid will I be able to enter Europe fine record attached to my visa number. Even I have visa until June. I really regret what I did. And will regret rest of my life. Please people don't judge me I am already aware I am the worst person in the world and I deserve punishment. But is there an anything I do to fix it? Do you think they will terminate my visa? Do you think I would have trouble entering Europe via Switzerland? If you have any recommended lawyer please help me. I am afraid I might do something stupid like suicide if I don't solve this. I am so messed up person.
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Emerentia
post 1.Mar.2015, 01:30 PM
Post #2
Joined: 23.Dec.2011

Hey, calm down. You are over-reacting a bit. You are not the worst person in the world, there are a lot of people who have done worse, and you know that.

Yes, it was a bad and stupid thing you did, but now you need to get over it. Remember it forever, and let the felings you are having be a lesson for not doing anything like that again, but not let this guilt destroy you. Don't even thing about suicide, and if you do, you really need to contact a emergency psychiatric unit.

Malm
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Svensksmith
post 1.Mar.2015, 01:55 PM
Post #3
Joined: 28.Jul.2011

Yes, you did a stupid thing. Feeling guilty about it shows that deep down, you are a good person. I would be more worried about myself if I didn't feel bad. We all make mistakes. The best you can do is learn from them and strive to be better. However, suicide is one mistake that can never be corrected. Do not punish your friends and family and eliminate your life's potential for your one small mistake.
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Guilty
post 1.Mar.2015, 02:04 PM
Post #4
Joined: 1.Mar.2015

[quote name='Emerentia' post='852594' date='1.Mar.2015, 01:30 PM']Hey, calm down. You are over-reacting a bit. You are not the worst person in the world, there are a lot of people who have done worse, and you know that.

Yes, it was a bad and stupid thing you did, but now you need to get over it. Remember it forever, and let the felings you are having be a lesson for not doing anything like that again, but not let this guilt destroy you. Don't even thing about suicide, and if you do, you really need to contact a emergency psychiatric unit.

Malm
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Guilty
post 1.Mar.2015, 02:14 PM
Post #5
Joined: 1.Mar.2015

QUOTE (Svensksmith @ 1.Mar.2015, 01:55 PM) *
Yes, you did a stupid thing. Feeling guilty about it shows that deep down, you are a good person. I would be more worried about myself if I didn't feel bad. We all make ... (show full quote)

I really feel so so guilty. It is like I failed everyone. I can't even look at people in street now. Every time I talk to person. Something inside me says you don't deserve even talking. You are criminal. But you guys really gave me at least small release and after reading ur comments and get able to cry makes it little better. I was about to explode by keeping it to myself. Only after crying I feel like I could take breath finally. Thank you so so much
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Applecore
post 1.Mar.2015, 03:29 PM
Post #6
Joined: 3.Feb.2015

I'm glad you are feeling better, but honestly if it still gives you such anxiety you should try to talk to someone professional. And Emerentia is right, best look up those 15 min consultations, if anything it will help you put things together, rather than choking on what can happen.

In the end...it's not the end wink.gif. Especially if you learned the lesson (and it looks like you did)
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Svensksmith
post 1.Mar.2015, 03:49 PM
Post #7
Joined: 28.Jul.2011

Life offers up many twists and turns. Some as a result of your own actions, some which are due to fate alone. All you can do is react and adapt. I do not know if your visa will be in jeopardy due to your one, small infraction. Somehow I doubt it. But if so, you will just have to take a new path. It is not the end of the world.

You have been served up a dose of humility and have learned a tough lesson. That is a good thing. You will be a better person for it. Do not keep beating yourself up over it. That serves no purpose. Remember, there has only been one perfect person in the world. The rest of us fall way short of the mark.

Go out, get some fresh air, and clear your head.
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Guilty
post 1.Mar.2015, 04:14 PM
Post #8
Joined: 1.Mar.2015

QUOTE (Applecore @ 1.Mar.2015, 03:29 PM) *
I'm glad you are feeling better, but honestly if it still gives you such anxiety you should try to talk to someone professional. And Emerentia is right, best look up those ... (show full quote)


Yes i am feeling much better now. I just hope i wont get more depressed in evening. Since i live alone and dont have any relative here is sweden, i tend to get depressed when it gets dark. And this whole shoplifting thing just pushed me to the edge. :-( I just tried to contact the lawyer which Emerentia suggested. Send them all an e-mail since i dont want to trouble calling people on sunday. I really learned the lesson. Thank you so so much for support.
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Guilty
post 1.Mar.2015, 04:18 PM
Post #9
Joined: 1.Mar.2015

QUOTE (Svensksmith @ 1.Mar.2015, 03:49 PM) *
Life offers up many twists and turns. Some as a result of your own actions, some which are due to fate alone. All you can do is react and adapt. I do not know if your visa ... (show full quote)


Thing most worries me is how much i will hurt and make my family and friends disappointed with me. No one would want to be freind or parent to a criminal. I just cant face anyone if it makes bigger issue. :-( Yes you are right. I am going to church now. At least i can sit there and relax and admit my faulth to god. It may make me feel better. And thank you so so much!
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Applecore
post 1.Mar.2015, 04:40 PM
Post #10
Joined: 3.Feb.2015

You would be surprised at how much parents and true friends can forgive. They may be disappointed for a while, but they will never stop loving you. They are your parents. I think each of us has done at least one thing in their life, which does not make them proud, your parents included. Im sure that as long as they can see that YOU understand it was wrong, they will eventually get past it.

And cripes it's not like you murdered anyone, for a one time stupid act...i'd hardly call you a criminal. Maybe a temporary idiot wink.gif. It's a fine, which you will pay, you admitted guilt, you didn't try to run, or weasel yourself out...debt is paid. No sense pouring ash on your head for weeks on end.
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Emerentia
post 1.Mar.2015, 05:00 PM
Post #11
Joined: 23.Dec.2011

Glad you are feeling a bit better. A good cry could really be a bit of a relief. And try to get something to eat too, even if it's hard at first, but you need it to think clearly. A starving mind can start playing tricks with you and make things feel worse than they are. You deserve eating, and looking at people and talking. And you also deserve feeling bad about what you did, I'm not sugercoating it, you deserve that too, but not to the extent that you should destroy your life over it.

I don't want to disrespect you father, but he was wrong. Life is to precious. Or maybe wasn't wrong, but he meant something more serious by living bad, than doing one stupid thing. You're sort if taking this out of proportion. You are not living bad, you did a stupid thing, it's about what you do with this from now on and what you learn from it. I'm sure he wouldn't want you to lose your life over this. I hope he would be angry, sad and disappointed of you, but after that he would say that you are his precious child and he loves you and trust you to never do this again. Parents and friends disappointment in you isn't the end of the world. It doesn't feel good, for you or for them, but you get through it. It's a life lesson. Those costs and hurts, but you do get through them even if it doesn't feel like it in the moment.

You did bad, but you own it. It would have been a lot worse if you hadn't been caught and given those stolen objects to your friend and felt pleased about it.

Sometimes when you tell people about something you are ashamed of, you will be surprised, that the hardest judge is usually oneself. I think it would be good for you to talk with some friend at least. Or some professional at first, that might be easier. They have confidentiality, and there is a lot of people who talk to them, there is no shame in that. Just to get some of this off your chest.

Since you are a student, you could try Studenth?lsan:
http://www.mah.se/Ar-student/Studenthalsan/Kontakt/

It might sound simple but as many has said, fresh air often helps, and also exercise could help you, because there are so much negative energy in blame, guilt, anxiety that's eating you alive right now. To get all that disappointment and anger of yourself out is good, to make it hurt a bit, without really hurting yourself.

I'm not religious myself, but church can also be a good thing for those who are. Perhaps there is a priest or a chaplain there who you could talk to?

There is also something called "Jourhavande pr?st", it's priests you could call, mail or chat with:
http://www.svenskakyrkan.se/jourhavandeprast
You can call between 9pm to 6 a.m every night. I'm not sure if they speak English, but almost every Swede do so you could give it a try. It's 112, which is the emergency number but you say "Jourhavande pr?st" (Perhaps its hard to pronounce but maybe you kan say something like "Shorhavande prest") to the operator and then there is probabably some wait, but its free and wont show up on your phone bill. I think that could be good when the nights and the bad thoughts come. You can also chat with them Monday to Thursday from 8pm to 12pm. Or write them a mail.

But get something to eat first!
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Guilty
post 3.Mar.2015, 11:22 AM
Post #12
Joined: 1.Mar.2015

QUOTE (Emerentia @ 1.Mar.2015, 05:00 PM) *
Glad you are feeling a bit better. A good cry could really be a bit of a relief. And try to get something to eat too, even if it's hard at first, but you need it to think ... (show full quote)


Dear Emerentia,
I have been in a really bad shape and so scared last few days. Sent many lawyers an e-mail but some are too busy or some are not specialized in the area of my crime. And I tried to call LawLine for today. Called them 3 times waited each for approx 20mins. And when they finally answer they told me something in swedish and cut. I am guessing they are telling me that they don't speak swedish. Is it possible can you call them and explain my situation. I know it is so much to ask but I dunt have any swedish friends and I can't speak Swedish. Please help me. I just wanna know whether this stupid thing I did will affect my visa.
Thank you for help
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 3.Mar.2015, 11:26 AM
Post #13
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

Suicide is the permanent solution for a temporary problem...think about it!!!
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Guilty
post 3.Mar.2015, 11:34 AM
Post #14
Joined: 1.Mar.2015

QUOTE (Gamla H?lsingebock @ 3.Mar.2015, 11:26 AM) *
Suicide is the permanent solution for a temporary problem...think about it!!!

Dear Gamla
I feel like this is going to be permanent problem for me. I have been reading a lot about how people with criminal record refused an entry to countries, and is unable to find any job etc. I felt like my life is ruined because of this. And I don't wanna see it further. I just can't see the consequences.
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LLHope
post 3.Mar.2015, 12:53 PM
Post #15
Location: Stockholm
Joined: 1.Jan.2014

QUOTE (Guilty @ 3.Mar.2015, 11:34 AM) *
I have been reading a lot about how people with criminal record refused an entry to countries, and is unable to find any job etc.
You say that the you admitted the charge, and the response was that they would send a fine to you. The fine is what is called penningb
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