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No job offer due to relationship?

Who you are with

dohla087
post 21.Oct.2017, 06:26 PM
Post #1
Joined: 21.Oct.2017

Hejjj!

I am 30, completely new in Stockholm (from EU country) and have looked for jobs. Even went to job interviews and people were nice.

I ticked all boxes because I am really qualified in what I do, got a Bachelor in Marketing and all, but when they asked in the end 'How are you enjoying Sweden so far? Have you settle in, are you here alone or with partner, who supports you?' I am very confused because wjere I am from they don't ask question like that and I answer truthfully that I am in a gay relationship with a Swedish tjej, they say 'oh that is nice', and then I do not hear back from them...just 'we decided to move on with another candidate'.

Have you got experience of this? Should I say I am single instead? How is it that that could cost my job? I though Sweden was really open...

//dd
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intrepidfox
post 21.Oct.2017, 06:46 PM
Post #2
Location: Gothenburg
Joined: 18.Jul.2012

QUOTE (dohla087 @ 21.Oct.2017, 05:26 PM) *
Hejjj!I am 30, completely new in Stockholm (from EU country) and have looked for jobs. Even went to job interviews and people were nice.I ticked all boxes because I am rea ... (show full quote)



Not all people are tolerant. Next time when they ask you about your relationship, just say it´s great. My stepdaughter is gay and she never mentions it as it is private. Just stop advertising your sexuality
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flaneur
post 21.Oct.2017, 09:08 PM
Post #3
Location: Stockholm
Joined: 19.Aug.2017

You naughty gal! biggrin.gif

I also said I was gay when I had my job interview and it was awkward but I got the job. Now every midsummer they ask me if I’m gonna dance around that cock and I’m like, I’m doing that every day, chill. biggrin.gif
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john.boy
post 21.Oct.2017, 09:36 PM
Post #4
Location: Stockholm county
Joined: 27.Sep.2017

QUOTE (dohla087 @ 21.Oct.2017, 06:26 PM) *
Have you got experience of this? Should I say I am single instead? How is it that that could cost my job? I though Sweden was really open...

They were not checking if you were gay or not, and I seriously doubt that here of all countries they would give a toss. What they were checking for is whether or not you had ties and had reason to stay around, or just passing through Sweden. If you had answered that your relationship was, 1 or more of the following, loving, stable, long-term and so on.

And even then, it might just be possible they found a candidate that met their needs. Often in Sweden employers do not know exactly what they want or need when they put out job ads, and during the process they find that they change their mind and profile of the person they require. This is why even when you tick all the boxes, they might not actually have wanted that at the end!
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Bsmith
post 21.Oct.2017, 10:16 PM
Post #5
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

I don't know what to advise you to do, but I am hesitant to bring my personal life into my professional one. I always try to keep the two separate. Not sure why, just seems instinctual to me.
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dohla087
post 22.Oct.2017, 10:34 AM
Post #6
Joined: 21.Oct.2017

Thank you for all answers.
Oh God flaneur, I am definitely not one of those. What behavior is that?!
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flaneur
post 22.Oct.2017, 10:40 AM
Post #7
Location: Stockholm
Joined: 19.Aug.2017

Honey, if some small piece of shit has a problem with you being gay, then you don’t want to work there anyway.

Now you’ve been royally fooled if you thought that Sweden is an open-minded society. wink.gif

These diarrheas who advise you to hide your sexual orientation are to be ignored, since you should definitely not hide who you are. smile.gif
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Bsmith
post 22.Oct.2017, 12:27 PM
Post #8
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

If you are referring to me, flanny, I am not advising him to hide his identity. However, a little class and decorum goes a long way. I get the feeling from his post that he is more interested in getting a job than being the poster child for flamboyant homosexuality.

Whether or not his sexual orientation is hurting his chances at getting a job was his question. I know society is changing and becoming more accepting all the time but until the day comes when the only criteria for getting a job is your own personal abilities and qualifications... Well, I guess that is his decision how he wants to play it.
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rex
post 22.Oct.2017, 08:33 PM
Post #9
Joined: 3.Jul.2017

It's kinda hard to hide your sexuality at work, since there are so many events where it's suggested to bring a partner or someone like that. In addition to that, you'd have to avoid talking about it every time someone mentions or asks you about your own personal life.

So, if you want to mention that make sure you tell them that you're in a "long-term and very fulfilling relationship". Otherwise, it might sound that you just got dragged here because of the gf and you might leave as soon as you two split up. Also find a decent list of reasons why you really like the country without specifying the gf.

As a rule of thumb, if they're younger than ~30 it should be fine, otherwise watch out. The oldies can be especially nasty to sexual minorities, and most of them are very chauvinistic bastards in general.
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 22.Oct.2017, 10:32 PM
Post #10
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

A fine example of politically correct age discrimination...

Who is the discriminator here???
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