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Wife & Kid with Social Services

Wife is control freak & short tempered

sagh0901
post 28.Jan.2019, 08:27 PM
Post #1
Joined: 9.Jan.2011

I am an Indian Guy married to Indian woman. I came here for masters and then found IT job. After settling family situations in India(getting siblings marriages done) I married a girl who I found in matrimonial site. I didn't consider her background as I was in a compulsive situation to get married. I had a planned marriage during vacation I had and I prepared intially for another girl but which didn't workout by time. Both time and money was invested so I rushed to matrimonial sites and found a girl. Later I understood that she is a control freak & short tempered woman. She can take decisions which can shatter the lives in second. I had to pay visit to police station couple of times due to her false complaints. When her mother visited us, both mentally harassed me to many extremes. I was just normal guy who got decent life from work I do. So I was very uncomfortable with her actions during the three years of our married life. I tried to explain her in all possible ways not to exploit the situations. During our early loving days we have a baby. I used to control my emotions and frustrations on her only because of baby. Recently she had wrong relationship with other person without my knowledge to take revenge on me. When I heard that I was shocked and heart broken. I tried to explain myself because of the baby. I became drunkard in a period of time, quit my job and became paranoid about life. I couldn't even think of what she did to me. When I shouted at her over a mobile conversation she broke the house furniture and complained to police that she has threat from me. On their suggestions, she went to social services with baby. I don't know where abouts of her. She took my credit card and spent 44K SEK overnight. When I realized I was missing my credit card, I found that I was cheated there too. She is not a working woman. I am the only bread earner to family. I had my moments with my wife but my most concern is my baby. I have no idea how the laws work here. I heard that they will be most supportive to woman. I am swinging between moods of divorce or not. I don't want to leave a bad memory in my baby life. She has been with them almost 2 weeks. I was not informed anything about her. Right from her clothes to mobile phone, whatever she posses is from my own hard-earned money. I don't know how I will deal with credit card credit she made. But my most concern is baby. I contacted social services out of my emotions and told them that I will take divorce. This I did because I wanted to know about status of her and baby. I am alone at my house and very much missing my baby. How does divorce work here? Who gets the baby custody? I am a swedish citizen along with my baby now but my wife is holding her permanent resident. Will I be forceful to support the mother too if I we get divorced? Will I have scheduled custody? Where should I contact the lawyer? I am bit afraid that she may convince me somehow using emotional drama which she is good at. I don't know whether to accept her back or not. What is the best way to resolve the issue which has led to social services? So far, she has blocked me and even her parents in India are not responding. Some advice helps me.
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skogsbo
post 29.Jan.2019, 06:46 AM
Post #2
Joined: 20.Sep.2011

You've been had through your own haste.
Speak to the bank to sever all financial ties. Get new bank cards etc..
Yes, the baby is yours(probably) so you have to pay. Might be worth a DNA test though.
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SmokerT69
post 29.Jan.2019, 09:43 AM
Post #3
Location: Gävle
Joined: 28.Feb.2016

Make sure you let the divorce lawyers know that she was unfaithful and that's why you're applying for a divorce. If you ask for a divorce and don't have a reason, it's gonna come back on you. Call the bank and get the cards cancelled. Do you have a joint account? If both your names are on the account, you can't actually do anything. As you will need her permission to make any changes. Woman normally get the kids... not sure about Sweden though. And if she doesn't work, you will probably have to pay support. Not sure if finances get split in Sweden, I know in a lot of countries, you split everything down the middle, even if she didn't earn anything. My mate learned that the hard way as well.
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skogsbo
post 29.Jan.2019, 10:23 AM
Post #4
Joined: 20.Sep.2011

If it's a joint account.
Open your own and have your pay go there immediately.
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Bsmith
post 29.Jan.2019, 11:45 AM
Post #5
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

Expensive lesson but one well learned. Get through this and emerge stronger and smarter.
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sagh0901
post 29.Jan.2019, 04:31 PM
Post #6
Joined: 9.Jan.2011

Thanks for your replies. How do I get my baby back to home? What process should I go through? Cc is only on my name. I have joint account with her but it's different bank and I sometimes transfer money to her based on house hold needs.
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john.boy
post 29.Jan.2019, 07:54 PM
Post #7
Location: Stockholm county
Joined: 27.Sep.2017

As long as you are married your assets are shared. Your wife can spend like crazy. The debt is shared. You cannot by law cut-off funds!

Download the form for divorce, fill it in, send it to the court, pay the fee. The moment the court acknowledges the application you make then that is the moment that asset division baseline is set, which means that if your wife continues to spend like crazy, once the divorce related division of assets is being done that part of the debt will be belong to her. That is the only way to protect yourself and your assets.

Custody starting point is shared 50-50, make appointment at social services for mediation and agreement. Remember that custody in Sweden is about power to make decisions, not about who "has" the child. The courts primary goal is the interest of the child not the parents, it is the child that has rights not the parents.
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Saywhatwhat
post 29.Jan.2019, 09:15 PM
Post #8
Joined: 15.Feb.2018

I’m sorry but give your own ass a kick. This is a great story of why you shouldn’t have arranged marriages or marry someone super quickly after having just met online.

That’s the whole point of a building a relationship, to feel out compatibility, weed out psychos.



You are also suspicious... in one post from 2011 you say you know basic Swedish, more than that, and attended SFI then in a post from 2017 you say you aren’t good with Swedish, basic at best, and that you are waiting for a seat in SFI...

You only have a few posts so it was easy to see.

Something ain’t right
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