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A Story of A Refugee!

Just want to share this!

mas17
post 20.Nov.2015, 06:23 PM
Post #1
Location: Sweden
Joined: 14.Jan.2013

I just want to share my story!

I never grew up in my country of origion, because we had problems there (as usual in Africa of course). I was born and raised as a foreigner in a country that I never became a citizen in it. Their system only grant citizenship for their own people only!! I left that country a long time ago. My family helped me with money to get an education in another country. Then I moved between several lands and finally I settled in one, started a very promising career. I fall in love with a girl and everything seems to be going so smooth.

Then the war broke up! Everything collapsed. The company lost millions and they shut down all operations there. Even though I was a foreigner myself I had to help some people whom were under persecution because of racism there. That put me also in the hot spot! Some journalists I met there suggested that I had to leave! But where to? It is not easy to go back to the country I was born in, and the homeland of my parents is still not welcoming either! What should I do then? One of them contacted a UNHCR representative and they said the only possible solution is to go to a refugee camp in the middle of the desert and just stay there till I - or they - can figure this out.

Of course it wasn't possible for the girl to leave with me! We're not married yet and her family didn't allow her to leave with a hopeless guy to a refugee camp and wait for unkown future! So, we broke up and I went to the refugee camp! I stayed there for about 2 years. The conditions of living there were terrible like any other refugee camp of course. Depression and hopelessness got into me and just spend my days there getting high and having sleeping pills and watch youtube! Of course it wasn't cheap to have all this luxury(!!!) in the desert!! So I wasted all my savings (which was not much to begin with) and end up bankrupt and even asking my family to help. They even tried to get me a visa but it was almost impossible due to the policies of that country. Or maybe I was just unlucky as it is become very obvious by that point. After a while, I was about to collapse and lose mind I became a ghost!

Then I got the good news from UNHCR, Sweden is willing to help (for some reason)... I wasn't jumping or happy, I was simply relieved just to leave that s**t hole. I arrived to Sweden about 3 years ago. And even though I know the Sweden reputation, I was really shocked with all the kindness that I've witnessed and decided I should appreciate the second chance and stand back on my feet again.

I looked and felt like s**t, I was born a Muslim so I went to the local mosque, maybe Allah can help. After just one week I knew that I don't believe in the imaginary friend anymore. So I left and never went back. Of course the Muslim community weren't happy with me not coming to the house of Allah, not even for the Friday prayers! They tried the nice methods but after few tries it turned ugly! We live in some kind of a ghetto, so they exiled me, no small talks anymore, not even greetings, which is fine with me.

I tried to get help from a professional, but I end up sleeping with the Psychiatrist!! I'm not complaining about the sex (even though I think I've been used to meet her needs and completely ignoring the fact that I'm a messed up person who needs treatment!). That wasn't what I needed at the time. I had to recover on my own, which is not very easy when you are alone in a new place without any support or even friends. Obviously I was traumatised to an ugly level, so being with normal people will make everyone uncomfortable, believe me I tried but after few attemps it was clear that I'm just adding insult to injury.

I wanted to be independet as fast as possible but learning a new language fast enough to get a job in my feild is not possible, specially that I don't have any contacts. Of course they send me to SFI but I couldn't bear it there for several of reasons!

The system here allows me to study anything so I decided to switch careers and find something doesn't require a sophisticated communication skills and can get me to work fast. I took a handicraft course (machine operating) which was in Swedish of course but it didn't matter to me, I translated every bit of the books, did the projects, passed the exams, I applied for a (praktik) before the end of the course, I did just one interview and I got it. After 6 weeks I got a job directly.

All of this happened in my first 18 months. I'm not going to lie, after all the stuff that I've heard from people and read online, I was a little bit suprised! Everyone is talking about how hard it is to get a job and racist treatment in work places!!
YES, I smell racism from some folks in the company but this s**t is everywhere (except if you're coming from Mars) and a man should be able to handle it, by standing your ground and focusing on what matters to you. Nobody can step on your foot or ride your back except if you allow them to.

Assimilation with the society it's not easy, I just go to work, do my job, buy some food and go home, chat with some old friends and that's about it. I bought a car, so sometimes I go for a drive and see the sites. Recovery is a long process specially in my age (36) and without support but I'm willing to. Improvement is happening slowly. Some guys at work are nice, they are trying to reach to me, but I admit that I'm blocking them, I don't like being pitied by anybody. Maybe they are not pitying, maybe there are just trying to make friends!! I don't know, my head is messed up totally. A workmate in his fifties invited me to meet his family, twice! The first time I apologized, but the second time I had to go and stop acting like an a***ole. I went and met his wife and kids whom are in their twenties, very nice and generous people. I dare to call them friends. Still, I try to make as few contacts as possible!

Few weeks back I went with him to see an American stand-up comedy! I haven't laughed like that night in years! And as you can imagine everybody was drunk except me and him!! I quit drinking of course because of my history, I didn't tell him why, I just said I don't want any drinks, so he refused to have any drinks alone!

My Swedish is still not good by any means! Any conversation goes over minutes will switch into English unfortunately! Nowadays, I went back to evening courses, and I try to watch more Swedish TV. I'm optimistic about it and maybe soon I'll be able to write another story in decent Svenska.

And now this awful crisis broke up. It's too complicated for me to discuss this. I want all the refugees in the world to get all the help they need. It's a very nasty situation to be in for any human being. I want them to get the chance that I got, I'm sure there are people who deserve this more than me. But the way that the Lefties doing it is totally insane! I follow the news and I can see the same system that offered me a second chance is in fact gone mad. Opening borders to hundreds of thousands in a very short period of time and without any proper checks or preparations!! This is going to be a huge problem to everyone, the natives, the immigrants and the refugees. The only winners (sort of!) are the suiciders and their agendas, and the racists who just need an excuse to hate more!!

I encourage everyone to do whatever they can to help whom ever in need of help. Just be sure that your efforts are going toward the right people in the most proper way possible. Don't let your feelings get into your head and in the process of helping others, don't open the gates of hell on everybody!

Thanks for reading!
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Bsmith
post 20.Nov.2015, 07:09 PM
Post #2
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

Heck of a story. I think you should write a book.
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mas17
post 20.Nov.2015, 07:24 PM
Post #3
Location: Sweden
Joined: 14.Jan.2013

Thanks. I'm glad you think it's interesting story..
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mjennin2
post 20.Nov.2015, 07:27 PM
Post #4
Location: Västra Götaland
Joined: 8.Mar.2010

This was beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing your experience and your story.

I would be friends with you in a heart beat smile.gif
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mas17
post 20.Nov.2015, 07:36 PM
Post #5
Location: Sweden
Joined: 14.Jan.2013

mjennin2, Thanks for the worm reply...
I'll be honored of course...
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Stpauli
post 20.Nov.2015, 08:16 PM
Post #6
Joined: 20.Nov.2015

Long story and I'm happy you made it.

What I don't understand is why you think the "lefties" are doing a lousy job? It's not like they are inviting people into the country but refugees are climbing every string of hope to get here. How would you like them to solve it in respect to the chances you got? They are fleeing from war, terror and poverty and they are doing their best to accommodate them with a place to stay and food for the day. What more can one ask for?
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Bsmith
post 20.Nov.2015, 08:29 PM
Post #7
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

QUOTE (Stpauli @ 20.Nov.2015, 07:16 PM) *
They are fleeing from war, terror and poverty.


Some are. And some are here to take advantage of the freebies and some are here to terrorize. Screening to make sure the right ones get in would be a good idea.
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Stpauli
post 20.Nov.2015, 08:38 PM
Post #8
Joined: 20.Nov.2015

Screening is just a way to check who is coming in which is a good thing. But it doesn't stop asylum seekers to enter, they are just forced to stay here or go back.
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 20.Nov.2015, 09:00 PM
Post #9
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

Can we hear more about the Psychiatrist??? laugh.gif
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mas17
post 20.Nov.2015, 09:31 PM
Post #10
Location: Sweden
Joined: 14.Jan.2013

Stpauli, thank you. The way I look at it is like this:

If you want to adopt a kid and someone told you in that orphanage there are 3 boys, very beautiful and smart. They all 14 years old and all of them needs a new start with a good family. The problem is one of them has been diagnosed with a very dangerous type of psychopathic!! He killed his own parents and some kids in the neighborhood! Doctors are very certain that he probably going to do it again if had a chance.. Also, another problem, the orphanage has a policy of confidentiality and they will never tell you which one is he!

I think you got the idea and where I'm going with this analogy... Now..

Would it be rude of you to investigate about which one of them is the psychopath?

Wouldn't it be so naive and stupid to adopt them all in hope that the doctors are wrong and maybe even if he commit the crime that you could with love and kindness change him?

I'm not saying don't help who needs help! I'm saying you should check and ask questions and be very careful, because it's people's lives you're putting on the line here.

What if you are willing to take the risk and you think you should give it a try! Of course you are free, but what about other people? What about your own family? What about the other kids who are just looking for a new life and you took them from one fear not to safety! But to a situation which they are not only threatened, but also looked at as the threat itself by your own family the whole time!

It's complicated!
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Bsmith
post 20.Nov.2015, 09:47 PM
Post #11
Joined: 25.Jun.2009

My wife went out to lunch with her wealthy, liberal girlfriend the other day. They discussed plans for a low (to no) income housing project that is being proposed for a working class neighborhood. She, the liberal, did not see a problem with that plan...as long as they weren't putting it in her neighborhood.

Isn't that the way it always is.
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mjennin2
post 20.Nov.2015, 10:07 PM
Post #12
Location: Västra Götaland
Joined: 8.Mar.2010

QUOTE (Gamla H?lsingebock @ 20.Nov.2015, 08:00 PM) *
Can we hear more about the Psychiatrist??? laugh.gif

Gamla, is today more of a >3 day instead of a <3 day? biggrin.gif

QUOTE (Bsmith @ 20.Nov.2015, 08:47 PM) *
My wife went out to lunch with her wealthy, liberal girlfriend the other day. They discussed plans for a low (to no) income housing project that is being proposed for a worki ... (show full quote)

This whole situation just reeks (in a good way) of the Million Programme. I sense another one those coming up. And fortunately, laborers can be sourced from newly-arrived refugees, giving them reliable employment plus a vested interest in the buildings they help erect.

It could be a net-win (economically) for Sweden in this time of crisis, in fact. The number of blue collar Swedes alone who will find increased work to help the effort will keep the taxes flowing into the Government.
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 20.Nov.2015, 10:33 PM
Post #13
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

Liberals like to foist life styles on others, providing it is not applied to them...you see "they" are above that sort of thing...and yes it is always the way...
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Gamla Hälsingebock
post 20.Nov.2015, 10:37 PM
Post #14
Joined: 21.Dec.2006

"Gamla, is today more of a >3 day instead of a <3 day? biggrin.gif"

Just curious about the needs of the Psychiatrist and how they were met!!!

What, then ended their sessions...Her fulfillment??? biggrin.gif
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mas17
post 20.Nov.2015, 10:58 PM
Post #15
Location: Sweden
Joined: 14.Jan.2013

Gamla, biggrin.gif
I laughed so hard at your comments!!

Normal needs, no fantasies!

We spent hours talking, she kept saying nice things! I thought its therapy, but it was more than that! I asked her out and she accepted! Of course we cut the sessions after that, and kept seeing each other... After a while, I had to put a stop to it, because we both needed therapy! blink.gif
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