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help me to like Sweden

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Emerentia
post 27.Apr.2016, 06:31 AM
Post #46
Joined: 23.Dec.2011

QUOTE (Apache001 @ 26.Apr.2016, 07:50 PM) *
Emerentia I noticed you refused to comment on other subjects I raised, let's just say your silence means some truism in them. Explain why your country men and women are lo ... (show full quote)


Why, do I have some obligation to answer everything you say? My "silence" means that I found most of this uninteresting, I see it as just another re-hash of all the "buhuu, the Swedes are so mean"-threads that show up from time to time. It's not a refusal. Everyone answers whatever they find interesting.

You claimed that Swedes over 65 live in nursing homes, I showed you that they are not, most of them live in their own homes.

But I'll give you this on your question about people looking for love across the border. When Swedes turn a foreigner down, then the foreigners get upset and think that's because we're racists, and when Swedes date foreigners, then that is questioned too, because then that also means is something wrong with us? It's always like whatever we do, it's not right for you.

When somebody asks for help, then I try to really help, as I did in post 13, I offered a lot of help to activities where you perhaps could find some friends, as I see it very few others have actually tried to do that.
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skogsbo
post 27.Apr.2016, 07:43 AM
Post #47
Joined: 20.Sep.2011

QUOTE (Savage @ 27.Apr.2016, 06:48 AM) *
What I find interesting, is the bond between individuals and the state. Such wide sweeping loyalty is quite rare today.. And so its easy to mistake national pride with indoctrination.


I think any person will defend their own country to a foreigner, but what they might say to each other isn't the same.

I think most Swedes are well travelled enough to know that Sweden has it's problems, but also that compared to even some other EU countries the problems aren't so bad in the big scheme of things. Swedes would much prefer a little control over booze or personal numbers, than have the open corruption in the governments/elite of countries like France, Spain, Italy, Greece... or have someone like Trump as an election candidate, or have Blair & Bush the war mongers... Sometimes the grass isn't greener.
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kiwiboynz
post 27.Apr.2016, 08:22 AM
Post #48
Location: Gothenburg
Joined: 8.Oct.2014

QUOTE (Savage @ 26.Apr.2016, 10:17 AM) *
Weather is nice in london right now, why not book a flight for the weekend and recharge your batteries ?



QUOTE (Lazarzero @ 27.Apr.2016, 12:19 AM) *
Surprised this Hisingen dude took so long to reply. When I saw, "last reply Hisingen" on the forum listing before clicking in this thread I knew he was gonna write a ... (show full quote)

A great summary of the old, bored, coot.
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littleviking
post 27.Apr.2016, 09:53 AM
Post #49
Joined: 26.Feb.2014

QUOTE (Apache001 @ 26.Apr.2016, 07:50 PM) *
http://www.familjeliv.se/forum/thread/5023...mla-foraldrar/1http://www.familjeliv.se/forum/thread/7354...jat-bli-gamla/1Emerentia I noticed you refused to comment on other sub ... (show full quote)



As Emerentia said and you ignored, its very hard to get a place in an old people home, only very very sick or in the last months before they die. The waiting list for sick elderly people in our kommun has 1320 severely sick over 70 people that most likely will never see a place. There a waiting years and years and until then they stay at home with personal assistants if they were sick until 65 or with some medical staff coming 2 3 times a day.
There are very limited spaces and very little created. A kommun like mine that has 30,000 people including all rural areas around with about 30% elderly, the space in a elderly home is exactly 200 places. So we have about 9000 people trying to get in them, since you say that is where they live after 65. The reality is that most live alone if they are healthy and will probably die sleeping in their own beds, the sicker ones will live close or with their family if they can get home service and the ones that had personal assistant before 65 will have a couple of personal assistant taking care of them because there is very little space and unless you are dying in a couple of months and need palliative care
it doesnt matter that your kids dont want to take care of you, no amount of money can buy you a place.
We have around 3000 that get home care and have been waiting for a place but less then half are put on a waiting list.

So dont worry unless you are terminal your kids wont be able to put you in a home no matter how much they will try.
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Laurelia
post 27.Apr.2016, 10:20 AM
Post #50
Joined: 21.Apr.2013

QUOTE (Lazarzero @ 27.Apr.2016, 12:19 AM) *
Surprised this Hisingen dude took so long to reply. When I saw, "last reply Hisingen" on the forum listing before clicking in this thread I knew he was gonna write a ... (show full quote)



So rude. And then people like you wonder why you have no friends.

FWIW, I'm a 35 yr old female only recently moved to Sweden from the UK, no job waiting for me with an international company, nor a job as an English teacher and yet I totally agree with his points. Sadly it feels more of the 'younger' crowd here only signed up to whine about Sweden being Sweden.
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skogsbo
post 27.Apr.2016, 10:38 AM
Post #51
Joined: 20.Sep.2011

QUOTE (Savage @ 27.Apr.2016, 08:29 AM) *
don't think I have ever come across a person who has told me in an enthusiastic manner that Halfords was started in the UK, the same way that brands like H&M, Ikea and ... (show full quote)

that's because Halfords are poo. Rolls Royce, Land Rover, Jaguar, M&S... UK brands that are pushed around the world, just like Ikea. The high end car sectors are especially strong in this department and some fashion designer labels.

Is there something wrong with promoting your own country? If more Brits, had british brand pride in the UK and bought it, perhaps UK manufacturing would be in a better state?

QUOTE (Savage @ 27.Apr.2016, 08:29 AM) *
Another interesting thing to think about is the rates of Migration from Sweden.And it will be interesting to see if this trend continues, after things have settled down in ter ... (show full quote)

If you look at Swedish migration, it's always gone up and down. I doubt that will change in the future, but it will never be as high as it was a 100years ago.
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skogsbo
post 27.Apr.2016, 10:43 AM
Post #52
Joined: 20.Sep.2011

QUOTE (kiwiboynz @ 27.Apr.2016, 08:22 AM) *
A great summary of the old, bored, coot.


I suspect they don't care what you think, they live here and are happy with their lot. Unlike many of the people here, who clearly aren't. So I suspect there is a hint of jealousy. They have found a country that suits them, or made it work for them.
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Apache001
post 27.Apr.2016, 11:59 AM
Post #53
Joined: 7.Mar.2016

Whether you are placed in ?ldreboende or you get personal assistant at home, my point is Swedes have themselves questioned on many occasions why they alienate from their aged parents, and I raised this point because Skogsbo wrote Swedes are busy with their parents.
I don't think many posts here are bashing Swedes, far from it. I have said it many times many of the things immigrants complain about here have also been complained about by Swedes.
Nothing wrong in dating a foreigner, but my point is the trend is becoming the 'in thing', and like someone said when Swedes are left to themselves to discuss some of these issues, you will be amazed that Swedes themselves are highly critical of these things way ahead of what any migrant may have written here. Using the line of 'if we don't date foreigners we are called racists, if we date them it's still a problem' doesn't answer my question anyway, it was a simple question that required a simple answer. If you want I can pull out many threads by Swedes on this love migration thingy.
Selling Sweden to foreign lovers who have a totally different cultural background with the hope of them moving in with you whilst deep down your heart you have not been able to hold down a long term relationship with your own Andersson is catastrophic I think. It wouldn't be a problem if it's just one of the genders doing this, but the males and females in Sweden with same ethnic background are gradually moving in different direction, only time will tell, and trust Swedes it takes one to lead the others in same direction, doing same thing and applying same rules. This is not my personal observation, this is what I hear and read Swedes talk about.
I have said it before Hisingen suggestions and ideas may completely apply in the old day Sweden, things have changed drastically in the last 50yrs, I know this because old Swedish men and women have confirmed this.
A friend of mine was telling me how the mail man mistakenly delivered the wrong letter to his mail box, and how he took it up stairs to knock on the door of his Swedish neighbor and gave him, I just told him theoretically a Swede may extend same gesture to you, but in reality chances of a Swede coming to deliver the letter to your door is 0%. It is 0% because the guy who hasn't said Hej to you living in the same building for 5 years will find it so hard and difficult to come and knock on your door. This is the Sweden I live in unfortunately.
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Laurelia
post 27.Apr.2016, 12:13 PM
Post #54
Joined: 21.Apr.2013

QUOTE (Apache001 @ 27.Apr.2016, 11:59 AM) *
in reality chances of a Swede coming to deliver the letter to your door is 0%. It is 0% because the guy who hasn't said Hej to you living in the same building for 5 years ... (show full quote)


Nonsense! We came home to our apartment block and found the guy across the hall had left his keys in the door. We'd never spoken to him because we'd never been in the same room as him. We knocked to let him know but there was no answer although we'd heard him come home earlier from the bar across the street. We posted them through his door. It's common sense!

When I first came here I never spoke to anyone I came across because I'd heard 'Swedes don't do that' and my Swedish neighbours would say 'hej' every time I came across them, and still do. And that's my experience both as living in an apartment block in the city and a house in a small town (in the town I live in (population 1500) everyone says hej just like in villages in the UK).

The picture some of you people paint of Swedes is like they're aliens with four heads. If you say 'hej' to someone and smile, chances are they'll respond in kind! but if you're walking around not interacting with them because you think that's how things are done then you'll just be looking rude and unfriendly!
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Apache001
post 27.Apr.2016, 01:17 PM
Post #55
Joined: 7.Mar.2016

Sweetheart no need to say nonsense, just express your own views. Most immigrants I know are not stuck up in the head, in fact I have heard many testimonies from immigrants pulling out from making any social contact with Swedes after trying many times when they just arrived.
I respect your personal view and experience here, but if I have to give examples here this may become a Swede bashing thread.

Also one last thing and I have written this before, Swedes are highly judgemental and this judgement is always passed base on where you come from, and even if the society looks like a socialist one, capitalism is deeply rooted in many ways. One of the reasons why Swedes will do anything to know what their neighbor earns in salary, maybe you gonna argue this also and I will show you several links to prove this.
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HiSweden
post 27.Apr.2016, 01:33 PM
Post #56
Joined: 26.Jan.2015

I am living here for 3 years and my neighbors never said hello, although I said hi to them many times. I never had parties or anything which might annoyed them. Now I almost never say hi or make eye contact with them at all, because I know this might make them feel uncomfortable or they just dont want it.

The weird thing is even with other students, international and Erasmus students always stick together, and work together when it comes to group work and forming groups. Weird!
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Apache001
post 27.Apr.2016, 01:39 PM
Post #57
Joined: 7.Mar.2016

HiSweden, nothing new in your experience with Swedes, even though many people here try to say otherwise. Yes Swedes don't have two heads and sure they act like other normal people around the world once they need a favor from you, flip the script of needing a little favor from them and that's when you experience this aloofness of no contact, no response to SMS even if it's job related.

I am glad your reply is in line with my previous submission that many immigrants have done their best and failed to connect many times.
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Lamy
post 27.Apr.2016, 01:45 PM
Post #58
Joined: 13.Nov.2015

My neighbours don't recognise me. One year and half after. Had to introduce myself 4 times to some of them! I think they are simply not interested in the 'others'.
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skogsbo
post 27.Apr.2016, 01:57 PM
Post #59
Joined: 20.Sep.2011

QUOTE (Apache001 @ 27.Apr.2016, 01:17 PM) *
Sweetheart no need to say nonsense, just express your own views. Most immigrants I know are not stuck up in the head, in fact I have heard many testimonies from immigrants pul ... (show full quote)

has it occurred to them, that perhaps the Swedes are not looking for any new friends of any nationality?

As for your passing post on comment, have you ever spent time in London, there are many times more chance of social contact here than many other capital cities, plus live in Sweden isn't all like Stockholm. A fact that many people seem to get hung up on, capital cities are always a little bit special. (and that's special in the Swedish sense).
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007
post 27.Apr.2016, 02:26 PM
Post #60
Location: Stockholm
Joined: 2.Apr.2006

you have to want to like sweden to like sweden and swedes. you're not there (yet?) Lamy. might be more rewarding for you to accept that, move on from your resentment that swedes aren't what you want them to be and build a network of expats you feel a kinship with. there are loads of them on meetup.com doing all sorts of things.

then maybe when you feel better about yourself in your life in sweden you will be open to liking swedes and living in sweden. and if not, no harm no foul, you carry on with your long-term plans to relocated to london.
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